Virginia Jets Fans

Before moving to Newport News, I had been living in Chicago for most of 20 years. And during that period of time, I probably watched about 85 percent of all the games the New York Jets played. Rookie's was the bar I hit the most, but I certainly spent a good amount of time in Real Time and Bud's as well. There were occasional complications like intramural sports or family obligations. But over those 20 years, I rarely had fellow Jets fans with whom to watch those games. There was a Jets group in downtown Chicago that I discovered around 2009, but it was difficult to drive an hour downtown, typically in bad weather, and find parking. Throw in the game, and it took up maybe six hours of a typical Sunday.

So when I relocated, I looked for fan groups of the teams I supported. It wasn't easy to find fans of the Mets, Rangers, and Knicks, though I'd eventually find Rangers fans near DC and also come to find out there are many Mets fans, there's just no organization for them. However, I found a Jets fans group that met in Norfolk and Virginia Beach for every game. I was impressed by two things. One was the loyalty. There were anywhere between 20-60 people at every game. But the thing that really got to me was the details and the organization. The group's founder, Stirling, had a Jets bus as well as a Jets limo, which he purchased during the season. And we consumed a lot of alcohol on those vehicles. In the limo, it was Brooklyn winter ale. On the bus, it could be eggnog, tequila, or any random concoction that Stirling was prepping for that weekend.

Every week, we had a raffle. There was always a 50/50, and I won one of them. I took home $49 and that was during the Thursday night game vs. Buffalo. During Week 16, I was one of the winners of the premium raffle and my selection was a pair of framed Chad Pennington rookie cards. I lost a whole lot more than I won, but the money always went to support the club. I also remember the annual chili cook off, held in a church. That happened during the Meltdown in Miami. The only reason I didn't prepare a chili was because I did not have a slow cooker. But next year, I may have a batch ready. I usually make veggie chili, but I'm not sure that'll go over well in a crowd of men.

A few thoughts on the members of the group I consider myself closest to:

Stirling-Our brave leader. He's been leading for 26 years. He is creative with his rewards, his Jet fandom cannot be questioned, and he is a generous soul.
Ken-Our vet. He's had some physical and mental issues. But he's definitely my friend. I love his passion and his energy.
Ray-The mascot and the energy of the group. He and I lead the Jets chants at different times. He's very smart, knows his football, and he's an easy to chat with.
Barb-the mom of the group. The organizer and the hugger.
Sam-The younger version of Rex Ryan, in terms of face and build. His wife, Dee, is always there too. Their son has his green mohawk, God bless him. He's a little too much of a Yankees fan, but hey what can you do.
Dennis-The incoming President of the group. I don't know him all that well, but I'll be interested to see what he does to change the club.
Chip-Your stereotypical silver haired Long Islander. His voice always sounds strained, distressed, and aghast as he watches every play. Attends every week.
Suzanne-Chip's daughter. she's a great singer and has an obsession with Pac Man. If she was just a few years younger, well, who knows...
LeShay-One tough broad and I mean that with love. She only came to maybe 4 or 5 games this year, it might have had to do with her leg problems, I frequently see her with a cast or brace on. She has a ton of spunk but gives the best hugs.
Al-The old grizzled paison veteran. He's been in the group for maybe 25 years and he makes occasional appearances. He's never one to refrain from expressing his opinion on the Jets.
Gary-Nobody gets drink faster than this guy
Patrick and Joe-I didn't realize until about Week 7 that they're father and son. The funny thing here is that Patrick looks like one of my best friends, who's named Joe, who is also a sick Jet fan.

I have lived in Virginia for five months. And in that five month period, I have had two families. One is my small group from Grace Bible Church. The other is the Virginia Jets fans group.

Tis the Season

And so Christmas has come and gone. This was the first full Christmas season that I have lived south of the Mason-Dixon line. Even though the standard message is to keep Christmas in the heart and in the mind, it is so much harder to do without some cold weather and a little bit of snow. So I'm sorry Bing, not all my Christmases will be white.

I played a lot of Christmas music the last month, but I could not find any decorations or a tree that I wanted in my apartment. Some seemed tacky, some just did not feel like something I wanted. And are there any pre-lit Christmas trees out there that cost less than $200?

DC Travels, Day 2

I woke up the next morning and the weather report was true, the sky had started to snow. I went to the gym, but it was even worse than the one in my apartment complex. The dumbbells went up to 25 pounds, and there were three pieces of cardio equipment along with those ridiculous inflated balls. Terrible. This is no 4 star hotel.

I had heard about K Street Bagel so I walked through the snow about ten minutes to get there. When I arrived, there was a homeless dude sleeping right in front of the door and the lights were off. Guess they weren't open. So there went breakfast. So I hopped on the red line to the Metro Center and went to Ford's Theater, where President Lincoln was assassinated. I walked through timelines of Lincoln's day as well as John Wilkes' Booth day. About 50 of us sat in a replica theater and then a park ranger came on stage and basically gave a 30 minute speech recapping what led up to the event and how it happened. I then went across the street to a boarding house, which is where Lincoln was taken after he was shot and then died the next morning. It was such a small bed, I remember thinking to myself. In that house, they've also added tributes to Lincoln's leadership. there's even a stack of books written about Lincoln and it extends four floors. Unbelievable sight!

Then I walked two blocks east to the International Spy Museum. This is definitely one of the most interactive museums I've ever seen. I'd recommend searching Groupon for admission though. When you enter, you create your cover, basically choose 1 of 16 identities. Nobody asks you the details, just remember the information at the optional kiosks. The highlight for me was the Bond villain exhibits. I saw amazing artifacts like Jaws' teeth and the tarot cards from Live and Let Die. Besides that, there was a good amount of war history and there were a few crawl tunnels which were fun to navigate and spy on people through the tiny windows. The museum can be a little tough to follow at times in terms of where to go next though. 

I hadn't eaten yet and it was almost 1, so I decided to try Astro Chicken & Donuts. The show was really coming down so I was looking forward to sitting down with a hearty, unhealthy meal. Well,  walked inside and was surprised to see it was nothing more than a counter. Not a table, not a chair, not a stool. I ordered chicken fingers. They came in a cardboard box, about six or seven small tenderloins. They were certainly juicy, not incredibly crispy on the outside. I liked the smokiness of the BBQ sauce on the side. I tried two of their standard donuts: the maple bacon and the crème brulee. Both were incredibly soft and airy. There was a good amount of chopped bacon, enough to counter the sweetness of the maple. The crème brulee one was fine, but I'm not the biggest fan of cream-filled donuts.The only drinks were lemonade, coffee, and iced coffee. No iced tea unfortunately. It was a decent experience, but next time I'm in DC, I'll probably try other places.

From there, I went to the Newseum. As I shuffled through the snow, I saw a display of various US newspapers from that day framed outside the entrance. Clearly they make it apparent that they value the press. I did have to pass through a metal detector and pay about $26 to get in. 

One of the hard parts about museums is you don't know where to start and then struggle to navigate the best path through the building. That will not happen here. I was directed downstairs where I watched a ten minute orientation video on how to travel through the museum as well as highlights from each of the six levels. And on the bottom level are parts of the Berlin Wall, along with a small section you can actually touch. I never expected this piece of history to be in the United States, but you can find it here.

I took the express elevator to the top floor and the first exhibit I saw was Camelot, which showed many photographs of the Kennedy family. After walking on the snow-covered outdoor terrace, which offered a great view of the Capitol building, I went back inside and saw a display of the current day's newspapers from around the world. There is also an extensive display of the history of reporting in terms of technology and the different factors that have influenced media. I was caught by the kiosk where I could examine newspapers going back to the 1400s. And this I never expected to see: the suit OJ wore when he was acquitted is on display!

After watching a JFK film, I went through a Civil Rights section. They had a lot of interactive video clips. But the absolute hardest part for me was the 9/11 exhibit. Now it didn't have a ton of artifacts. There was the flag that flew over the Pentagon, a piece of the antenna and maybe two or three other items. But it was watching the 12 minute film about the journalists who covered the horror as it was happening. I saw an angle of the second plane crashing into the South World Trade tower that I had never seen before. This was the moment I lost all emotion and felt tears stream down my cheeks.
They had a large map of the world that is color-coded to reflect which countries have free press. I have to admit I was taken aback how many countries have restricted or completely censored press coverage. There was also a wall dedicated to journalists who died in the line of duty, a section for First dogs in the White House. There's also a virtual reality section, not many people were hanging around this section though. I got to step into a broadcast booth and record a broadcast from Nationals Park. Of course I finished it with a "Let's Go Mets." After watching a sports broadcasting film for 30 minutes, the museum was about to close. My visit took four hours and they were well worth my time.

I had a 6 pm dinner reservation at Bobby Van's, and I walked back to the hotel, about 20 minutes or so. The snow still hadn't quit! I picked up my bags, changed into nicer clothes, and headed three blocks east to the restaurant. $40 for $80 worth of food and drink. Another Groupon score! I arrived  with a backpack and suitcase in tow, and the staff was gracious enough to store my luggage near the coat area. I was given a corner table, with a nice cushioned seat. If I had to knock anything, some of the waiters' accents were a little hard to understand. However, they were always smiling and enthusiastic. They really seemed to enjoy working there. Then again, with the tips I'd make working there, I'd be smiling too.

My starter was the Harry's salad, which doesn't have any lettuce in it. It has chopped tomatoes and roasted peppers, with cold shrimp, green beans, and thick cut chopped bacon tossed in a red wine vinaigrette. The vegetables were very fresh and I could really chew the bacon, it wasn't overly crisp. I could really taste the vinegar, but the warm bread was a great way to mop the rest of it up.
Onto the main event. I ordered the New York strip, cooked medium rare plus. It was cooked spot on: lightly charred on the outside, pink and juicy on the inside. I don't know the ounce portion, but I would guess around 16 ounces. It was a perfect size, cooked as well as I've had in a while. They served it on a bed of potato sticks which added a nice crunch as well as a side of greens, which I promptly discarded. I also ordered asparagus, and I got a huge portion of sauteed asparagus, enough for 2-3 servings. They were cooked well, but needed some salt and pepper. In terms of the menu, the only thing I'd like to see added are some German or Lyonnaise potatoes. For dessert, I simply got a scoop of cinnamon ice cram for two dollars. Not a bad deal at all. 

Part of me wanted to stay out and go hear some live music. But with the snow still not stopping, and knowing I had a three hour drive ahead of me to make that night, I decided to head home. I then took the Blue line from McPherson back to Franconia-Springfield. Amazingly, there was no parking charge even though I saw that it was $4.95 per day. No too shabby!

DC Travels, Day 1

I drove two and a half hours north on a gray chilly Friday morning to the Franconia-Springfield Metro stop and took the Blue Line into downtown DC. One of the things that's different with the trains here as opposed to New York or Chicago is you have to pay your fare based off the distance you travel. So for each trip, you have to scan your card twice, on when you enter and then after you depart. I arrived at a hotel called Club Quarters, two blocks north of the White House. They told me to check in early, I would have to pay an additional $50. I didn't have the slightest interest in paying 33% more than what I paid for the room so I had them hold my bags until the afternoon.

My first stop was Arlington Cemetery, southwest of DC. It was a cold day, kind of fitting for being at a cemetery. I immediately went to the Kennedy family site, where JFK, RFK, Ted Kennedy, and the like are buried. Some of the other highlights were the Unknowns, President Taft, Abner Doubleday, Joe Louis, and Medgar Evers. I have to admit when I got to Doubleday's grave, I got a little annoyed. I said out loud "Abner, if it wasn't for you the Mets wouldn't torture me like they do!"

I'd never been to Chopt before, but for my first meal in DC, I thought I would go healthier so I didn't have to feel too guilty about indulging later. I ordered the Smoky Santa Cruz salad with grilled chicken, avocado, corn, scallions, tri-color quinoa, black beans, kale, broccoleaf (whatever that is) & purple cabbage. The two dressings were their Sweet 'n Smoky vinaigrette, which is actually pretty spicy, and the Mexican goddess, which had avocado, cilantro, and jalapeno. I like that they chop the salads on the board before serving it in the plastic bowl. I asked for some extra lime wedges and they even gave me an extra piece of bread, which I definitely needed to counter the heat. The ingredients were fresh and the salad was rather filling. Also, I give them props for their variety of lemonades and iced teas. The mint lemonade was especially enjoyable. I wish they had a location in coastal Virginia, but I'll probably have another salad her the next time I'm in the DC area.

It was only 12:15, so I knew I had time before my check in. I walked around the White House, where I saw a few too many classless protesters. I also walked around the National Christmas tree, which was much smaller than some of the others I've seen, such as the trees in Rockefeller Center or Millennium Park. There was also a tree from every state and US territory to walk by, about 55 in all. It was cool seeing several train sets running around the trees as well. 

I walked south to Constitution Street, then walked west to the Lincoln Memorial. Being a big Lincoln fan, it's hard to come to DC without heading over there. I had done a lot of walking by this point, so I was getting anxious to check in and recharge. So I walked back north through George Washington University and then east towards my hotel. I sat in Farragut Park for a while, fitting since the two nearest train stops to me were Farragut North and Farragut West. There wasn't much to the park, just a big statue of a General Farragut and a lot of food trucks parked around the curb. 

Around 1:30, I decided to see if there was a room and there actually was. I checked in, grabbed some bottled water, which happened to be available right outside my room on the eighth floor, and laid in bed for maybe an hour. 

I decided to eat in the Chinatown section at Nando Nando's, which is a place that serves grilled chicken with an African/Portuguese flavor. . I'm going to get my gripe out of the way. I don't need to know where a restaurant's political allegiances lie or if they support certain kinds of "lifestyles." Just make good food, treat customers well, and leave the human rights issues off your entrance window. Unnecessary and unappreciated. Now that we got that out of the way, I enjoyed my meal very much. I ordered a half chicken grilled with their medium sauce and a side of chips (Fries). The chicken was very juicy and I liked adding a little bit of the lemon herb sauce for some extra citrus tang. The medium sauce worked well for me, but I think I could have handled the hot. The fries were well seasoned with a seasoning salt, but maybe could have been a bit crispier. I also like that they have the Coke freestyle machine, I'll always give props for that. My meal was about $18, which might be a little high, but not too crazy. 

Onto Penn Social bar. Two hundred Rangers fans gathered before. I recognized my friend Zack, who I didn't even know was going to be there. He bought me a Winter IPA, which was delicious. Around 6:!5, I walked over to Capital One Center. Ironically, I hadn't seen one person wearing a Capitals logo all day until I got to the arena. The game was horrible, I left in the middle of the second period when Washington made it 2-0. Even though the Rangers did manage to tie the game 2-2, they wound up giving up a goal with 5 minutes left to blow the game anyway.

Miserable and aggravated, I didn't know if I wanted to eat, get wasted, or just go back to the room. I did forget about Bobby Flay's burger joint, but I did go to Shake Shack in Dupont Circle. I got the double Shack burger. The Martin's potato roll is perfect for a burger, soft and spongy. The beef is still juicy. The thing that bothers me with Shake Shack is they so often get the toppings wrong. I asked for lettuce, tomato, pickle, and onion and they left out the lettuce and tomato. I didn't even think about the shack sauce, but that was missing too. I like that they have some decent craft beer options, like Dogfish Head 60 minute IPA. I do wish they had more sauces than ketchup and regular mustard. Maybe some garlic aioli, honey mustard, or BBQ sauce.

More Food Lists

Favorite Cheeses for a Burger
1) Cheddar Jack
2) Cheddar
3) American
4) Swiss
5) Pepper Jack

Favorite Sauces for Fries
1) Garlic Aioli
2) Honey Mustard
3) BBQ Sauce
4) Remoulade
5) Spicy Ranch

Favorite Chinese Dishes
1) Beef and Broccoli
2) General's Chicken
3) Asian Ribs
4) Orange Chicken
5) Sesame Chicken

Favorite Pasta Sauce Brands
1) Rao's
2) Jersey's Italian Gravy
3) Victoria's
4) Bongiovi
5) Mario Batali

Favorite Vegetables with a Steak
1) Mushrooms
2) Onions
3) Asparagus
4) Broccoli
5) Spinach

Favorite Ice Cream Flavors
1) Cinnamon
2) Pistachio
3) Butter Pecan
4) Coconut Almond
5) Vanilla

Restaurant Lists

Favorite Steakhouses

1) Peter Luger's-Brooklyn, NY
2) Morton's-Chicago, IL
3) Ben and Jack's-New York City
4) Uncle Jack's-New York City
5) Primehouse-Chicago, IL
6) Gene and Georgetti-Chicago, IL
7) Emeril's Delmonico-Las Vegas, NV
8) Chicago Chop House-Chicago, IL
9) The Bull Ring-Santa Fe, NM

10) The Grill Room-Portland, ME

Favorite Pizzerias

1) Frank Pepe's-New Haven, CT
2) Bruno's Pizza Factory-Edison, NJ
3) Arturo's-New York City
4) Burt's Pizza-Morton Grove, IL
5) L&B Spumoni Gardens-Brooklyn NY
6) Piece-Chicago, IL

7) Lombardi's-New York City
8) Brooklyn Boys-Cary, NC
9) Lou Malnati's-Chicago, IL

10) NY Slices-Highland Park IL

Favorite Burgers

1) Engine No. 9-Tampa, FL

2) Au Cheval, Chicago, IL

3) Kuma's Corner-Chicago, IL
4) The Filling Station-St. Charles, IL
5) Twisted Root Burger-Dallas, TX

6) Louis Lunch-New Haven, CT

7) Bobby's Burger Palace-Paramus, NJ

8) AJ Bomber's, Milwaukee, WI

9) 1608 Crafthouse-Norfolk, VA
10) JG Mellon-New York City

Favorite Delis

1) Katz's-New York City
2) JP Graziano's-Chicago, IL
3) Perry's-Chicago, IL
4) Defonte's-Brooklyn, NY
5) Brent's-Los Angeles, CA
6) Route 58 Deli-Virginia Beach, VA

7) Zingerman's-Ann Arbor, MI
8) Sarge's-New York City
9) Schmaltz's-Naperville, IL
10) Glorioso's-Milwaukee, WI

Favorite Italian Restaurants

1) LouCa's-Edison, NY

2) Andino's-Providence RI

3) A Tavola-Chicago, IL

4) Topo Gigio-Chicago, IL

5) Francesca's-St. Charles, IL

6) Quartino-Chicago, IL

7) Gargiulio's-Brooklyn, NY

8) ZaZa's-St. Charles, IL

9) The Vineyards-Newport News, VA 

10) Rosebud-Chicago, IL

Favorite BBQ Restaurants

1) Pappy's Smokehouse-St. Louis, MO

2) Hometown BBQ-Brooklyn, NY

3) Smoque-Chicago, IL

4) ZZQ-Richmond, VA

5) Buz & Ned's-Richmond, VA

6) Salt Lick-Austin, TX

7) Green Street Meats-Chicago, IL

8) Slow's BBQ-Grand Rapids, MI

9) Blackwood BBQ-Chicago,  IL

10) Redwood Shack-Norfolk, VA

Thanksgiving weekend

Well I'm currently on the second of two flights, this one from Charlotte to Chicago. I'm playing a Christopher Reeve audio book on my phone. I'm off from work for the next five days and I must say it feels good to finally have a break, my first since Labor Day weekend.

As I'm flying back to a town called home for 18 of the last 20 years, I can't help but feel a little ponderous. I sit in this first class seat feeling thankful and even a little bit proud on this Thanksgiving. I'm proud that I took the chance I took to leave Chicago and a secure job and familiarity. But I'm also thankful for all those years. I met great people and some unsavory ones, became a real Christian, ate wonderful food, worked some good jobs and some bad ones, ran my first races, walked through many forest preserves, had my heart broken, attended so many games, shows, festivals, and concerts, dealt with loneliness, lost two dogs, cleaned up my flooded basement maybe a dozen times, and wore out that space heater in that Arctic basement.

As I'm about to land, it feels a little bit like it did during Christmas 2002. I was visiting my now dead ex stepfather, who had an apartment in Wheaton. At that time, I had moved to Raleigh and thought my time in Chicago was over. I was content, thankful for five very good years, and ready to move on. Little did I know that four months later, I'd get the news that I would be moving back after I graduated college in June.

The difference is now I know it's permanent. And I really feel no sadness about it. None. I was ready to go then and I know that if I was still there, commuting three hours a day every weekday along with working nine hours in downtown Chicago and living with my mother, I'd feel even more restless now.

There's so much changing that I don't need to be part of. Bill Hybels won't be pastor at Willow Creek Church much longer. And the man replacing him is someone who gave a Chicago Cubs jersey to Pope Benedict. Safe to say I don't care for the man.

Certainly by no means is my life exactly where I want it. I don't know if that will ever happen. And even if it did, circumstances change so frequently, and I'm learning so many of them are out of my control. What I'm learning more and more now is real success isn't having my circumstances arranged exactly how I want them. Rather, it's having the inner strength to handle those circumstances with character and mental strength as they come my way. That's a battle I'm still trying to win. And I pray for God's grace and support through each struggle and each victory of each day.

24 Hours Was All

It was just another Friday night Meetup group event. About a dozen of us were meeting up at Tradition brewery, just a two minute walk from my apartment. I got there around 7:45. Kevin (the well dressed Asian), Rodney (the beer aficionado who needs to go to the dentist), and Jordan (the big boned group organizer) were already there.

A few ladies from the group shuffled in, including one I had never seen before that caught my attention. She appeared to be about 40 with shoulder length dark blonde hair that had been spiral curled. She was wearing jeans, a black leather jacket, and a multi-colored tank top that certainly showed off her impressive assets. She would later say that she was surprised a guy like me was there and that she was waiting for me to say something dumb or have a terrible speaking voice. She told me her name was Jessica and after a minute of small talk, she headed over to the bar to get a beer. I could see a guy or two trying to get her attention. Though I talked with a few people, I had an eye always watching wear she was going.

About 12 people came and we moved upstairs to a communal table. I made sure to sit next to her. I was facing a few other people who were there when I suddenly felt her soft hand gently touch my left wrist. A shiver went through me. She had noticed my black prayer bracelet. I had gotten it back at The Well, two years ago in Geneva. We began discussing faith and it didn’t take us long to figure out we had a lot in common in terms of value and beliefs. When she mentioned that values were the most important thing in a relationship, I had a good feeling. But gosh, I couldn’t stop staring at her chest! Hey, I am a guy, I'm a writer, I'm cursed with an eye for detail. I also found out that she had only moved to Virginia two weeks prior, from Southern California. She didn’t have a job, but she moved here hoping the prospects would be better. And I thought I took a big chance by leaving my home and traveling 1,500 miles when I actually had a job lined up!

At 9:15, Jordan and I left for our next event, karaoke at Quaker Steak and Lube, which was about ten minutes up the road. We arrived and within a few minutes, there were about 12 of us crammed in a tiny booth. There was one guy sitting between her and I so I mostly chatted with my friends Jon, Shawn, and Christina. I don’t remember much about that hour except I drank a huge Yuengling and people were talking the most useless BS imaginable; I think we were just letting out frustrations on a Friday night.

We soon worked our way to the ventilated side room, where the karaoke was but smoking was also allowed. Within a few minutes, we got word about a murder that happened a few yards away from the restaurant. Some guy just got shot in his car.

Jordan had gotten drunk by this time, I saw him drink two flights of eight beers plus two or three 22 ouncers. I turned around and saw him trying to rub up on Jessica. I wanted to kill him. Even though he weighs about 100 pounds more than me, and I had considered him my friend, I would have given him my best shot.

I was ready to leave by midnight. The singers sucked and the cigarette smoke was wearing my energy down. I was actually the only guy in the group who had the balls to sing. Of course, I performed a Bee Gees song, I went with Jive Talking. I said my goodbyes and Jessica was about to leave, but I caught up with her. I promised to message her through Meetup and she said yes. I gave her a big hug and even snuck in a quick peck on her cheek. I said good night and went to my car feeling pretty decent. I’ve never gotten a date out of a Meetup group before, but I had a confident feeling I was going to talk to this girl again.

I woke up the next morning around 8:30, feeling a little groggy after a steady stream of Yeungling. I turned my phone on and, I had a friend request on Facebook. The first name was Jessica. Now I didn’t know her last name and the picture didn’t look too much like her. I started to think to myself that this just didn’t make sense. I’m the one who’s supposed to pursue and fail miserably at it. It’s my trademark. When I saw her Facebook address was in Costa Verde, CA, I knew it was her. She had actually tracked me down right after we said good night.

We messaged a little bit that day and we agreed to meet that night at City Life Church in Newport News, near CNU. It offered a Saturday night service, and she had wanted to try it out. I missed one turn, but she got really lost, Google sent her on a path where she had to make four U-turns. Then, because there were four doors to get in the building, we had trouble figuring out where the other person was. She walked in, we gave each other a huge smile, and embraced. Her hair was straight this time, I almost didn’t recognize her.

This church actually is located inside a large Baptist church. The pastor came up and introduced himself, we had a little trouble explaining how we knew each other, but it was kind of interesting to him. The service was energetic and lively, it lasted about 90 minutes.

At 6:30, we definitely weren’t ready to say good night. She was hungry, but I really wasn’t, so I drove us to Bonefish. But with a 45 minute wait, we decided that wasn’t the best idea. We then tried 1608 Craft House. With the parking lot full, I pulled in next door to an auto parts store. I pulled onto the gravelly lot and settled right next to a tree and behind a tractor trailer. Pretty impressive park job.

We sat at a corner table for two at a window, which gave us a view of the dark parking lot. She ordered a dirty martini and I went with the Dogfish Head Pennsylvania tuxedo pale ale. For dessert, we split Bourbon barrel bread pudding with caramel and ice cream. Cost me $32, and yes, I paid. Even though I get uneasy about paying, I know it’s the right thing to do sometimes. It wasn’t supposed to a date, but it just turned into one. Some of the things we talked about were politics, family, surfing, travel, and fitness. I found out she actually had a grown son, which I preferred, because one, he was in California, and two, she didn’t have to take care of him 24/7. I held her hand for about 10 minutes and it felt great. What surprised was when she told me she hadn’t been in a relationship in 13 years.

Realizing they probably needed the table, we waked back to my car and sat inside. It was really dark, there was just a smidgen of light coming from the lights of the restaurant and a telephone pole. In the darkness, she could see my eyes changed and I just laughed. I always thought I had brown eyes until another girl mentioned to me that she thought they were hazel. I’m pretty sure that my eyes change color in different levels of light. Sensing my opportunity, I leaned a little closer to her. I asked if she was sure. She said yes. I leaned closer. Are you really sure? She leaned in. Our lips touched.

We wound up fogging all my windows at least three times. It was incredible. Her lips were amazingly tender. She grabbed me so tight, we wanted to fall asleep together so much. We drove back to the church lot and did it all over again. We didn’t say good night until nearly 11 pm. The next day came and she went for a day hike. She thought it over, and it was over. I found out that she is planning to leave Virginia by Christmas if she doesn’t get a job.

I don’t know if I’m more angry at her or angry at the circumstances. But now I don’t want to think of her or even talk to her. It’s almost as if she’s looking for a reason to not get attached to me. The circumstances make it challenging. I just wish she hadn’t sucked me in only to hurt me less than two days later.

Ronnie Milsap setlist

Prisoner of the Highway
He Got You/Any Day Now
I Wouldn't Have Missed It For the World/What a Difference You've Made In My Life/In Love/There's No Getting Over Me/Where Do the Nights Go?/Don't You Know How Much I Love You?/Let's Take the Long Way Around the World/Still Losing You/She Keeps the Home Fires Burning/I Wouldn't Have Missed It For the World
What Goes On When the Sun Goes Down
A Legend In My Time
You're Looking at Country
Walking After Midnight
But Not For Me
In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning
Snap Your Fingers
Back On My Mind Again
Lost in the Fifties Tonight
Stranger In My House
Your Cheating Heart
Smoky Mountain Rain
America the Beautiful

What Season Am I In?

We're a couple of days into November. Now when I think of the weather in November that I'm used to, it's kind of a mixture. You might get a day in the upper 60s early on as that last little tease. But by Thanksgiving, you'd better have your thermals, winter gloves, skull cap, and Canadian goose or Patagonia jacket all on standby.

Here in Virginia, I'm still able to wear shorts in the evening. I can't say that I'm minding this. I just hope it doesn't drop from 70 degrees to 30 degrees in the span of a day.

I really don't want to be lonely tonight. It's a Friday night around 11 p.m., and I'm laying in bed, listening to mellow music, drinking a local IPA, and writing. But it isn't easy seeing posts on social media about date nights and wondering why I don't have one. Then again, I guess it's nice to have my freedom, my sanity, and my money. Then I look at the situation from another perspective and I realize being alone is certainly testing my resolve. I settled for women who were not right for me many times in the past. I am not going to do that ever again. I wonder if the day will just come when I realize it's too late for me to fall in love. Because God knows I don't want my wedding night to be the same day I join the AARP Club.

And now I can follow up about the stop sign violation. It turns out the same ridiculous cop pulled over three other people for the same reason. Who knows, they might have even been at the same stop sign. So we all showed up for traffic court in downtown Newport News, which is not exactly downtown Beverly Hills. And the cop turned out to be sick, so he didn't even show up. Then that left us with two choices. We could either plea guilty and pay $50 and be done with it or we could come back in 2 weeks and if he didn't show up again, the case would be dismissed. I actually felt a tremendous sense of relief knowing that my maximum fine would only be $50. I mean, for a stop sign, in the south? I expected triple figures. So I decided to press my luck and take the chance that he won't show up in 2 weeks. At the very least I think I deserve to explain myself and make my case.

I realize with dentists, there are so many different kinds. Someone to do all the work themselves, and some let the hygienist do all the dirty work before they come in and just check on the bites and consider their work to be done. In St. Charles, I had a dentist who did everything himself and I was always out of there in 15 minutes. This new dentist I went to was breaking down scientific terms and diseases that I've never heard of, in fact I think he was trying to just confuse me so I would just trust him and do whatever he wanted. I think his main goal was to sell me on Invisalign so I wouldn't lose teeth in a few years. I guess we'll just see how that goes. But what I saw a coupon for $500 down, I kind of get the idea that buying a mansion in Monaco would be cheaper. I think I'll probably get my wisdom teeth taken out in the next year or two though.

I'm feeling a desire to learn to paint better. I find it focuses my energy well, and it's a good challenge for me. I also feel like I have some natural ability to do it, at least people seem to think so. But there are three issues that I need to address before I invest myself in this endeavor. One, it's expensive to buy the supplies. Two, it would make an absolute mess. And three, what would I do with the finished paintings? If I try to sell them and make money, I might take it personally if nobody ever brought them. I guess that's my rejection issue gnawing at me still.

Only one month remains until my solo trip to DC. It's only going to be two days, but it will be my first real trip since July. And I'm pretty confident I will enjoy this city more than I enjoyed St Louis. On my agenda are the International Spy Museum, Arlington Cemetery, the newseum, Rangers game, and of course, a number of restaurants. The big thing for me is finding the right hotel, between neighborhood and price. I don't mind staying a little outside of downtown, so long as I'm near the train.

Into October

I'm actually a little disappointed in myself because I thought I would be blogging more once I had my own place and a lot of new things were happening for me. And yet I haven't written a thing in a month. So here's what I have to say for right now.

I ran The Crawling Crab 5K in Hampton today and it was the first 5k that I ran in 4 years. I finished at 23:37, which is one of the best times I've ever had. I didn't feel too good during most of the race, especially going going up a highway hill twice, but I wasn't going to stop. I guess I was a little disappointed I didn't have that big final burst at the end. If I want to do a longer race one day, I really have to push myself harder.

I was entitled to have two craft beers after my race along with a cup of soup. Because after running 3 miles in 80 degree weather, what else would you want but a cup of hot soup? Anyway, I had a citrus wheat beer and a sweet potato beer. And then I had to go straight to work because it was orientation day.

Harris Teeter is an interesting grocery store. They have very good products, but their pricing is so confusing. It's like this item is 6.99 but if you have your card you can get 5% off two of them. I do think they have excellent pizza though I've been there four times in the last 3 weeks to get a slice or two of pizza. It's not too bready, it's crispy all the way through, and the toppings are a very good quality.

I would like to give a text version of a middle finger to officer Howell of the Newport News police department. The a****** gave me a ticket for disregarding a stop sign, as he put it. The problem is I was on a road I had never been on and I never saw the stop sign. Yep this scumbag had to fill his quota for the month so he gave me the ticket, without letting me explain. So now I have to go to court in a couple of weeks and hope I don't get screwed up the ass on the fine.

Now that I've gotten that out, I will go back to my Christian form of speech. Grace Bible Church is a pretty excellent Church. They emphasized community and opportunities to actually work in the Hampton Roads area, which I appreciate. And I've been going to a small group for 3 weeks now of young adults and I like the group quite a bit. But I feel like something is missing in the services. The pastor is preaching basic stuff, and I want to be stretched and challenged a lot more than what this guy is doing. It's like he's teaching second grade and I'm ready for college. So I think I'm sticking with the group, we'll have to see how it goes.

I'm really thankful for my new family that I hang out with on Sundays to watch Jets games. I've gone in each of the first four weeks, and I've made quite a few friends and I've even won a few prizes in door drawings. As the season goes on and the seem most likely struggles, it will be interesting to see if 30 and 40 people continue to show up to each game.

Orangetheory was a really interesting Fitness class. I had a free lesson, I just don't think I should have done it one week before my 5K. I had to do three circuits of running, rowing, and strength training equipment on the floor over 55 minutes. The workout was phenomenal, but price wise, it is just too much for my budget right now. I mean I can work out at my apartment complex for free, even though the equipment is lackluster, to say it gently.

And my gas and electric bill went up $100 in one freaking month. Granted $48 of that is a one-time deposit, but I am really taking it hard. I set up a budget, and then it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger. I'm the type of guy who wants to be generous and wants to give money away and leave huge tips, but I feel like I need to take care of myself first. Because if I don't take care of myself, nobody else will. Because I would rather die than be broke and homeless and not be able to live life on my terms.

Two months in

1) Apartment is looking good. Furniture is in place, I have a bed as of Labor day weekend, and I purchased a set of cookware. I think I'm going to put a few bobbleheads on my dresser drawer, just to spite my mother since she feels she knows everything about how I should set up my apartment.

2) Gary Oldman is such a good actor and gets nowhere near the respect that he deserves.

3) I wonder if any woman is mentally strong enough to be with me.

4) The less social media in my life, the better.

5) Why does the local library charge me to get a book that is not in their system. That is not my fault that their system isn't stocked like it should be.

6) In 10 minutes of researching Washington DC, I found at least eight restaurants that I really want to try. Not to mention six sites that I haven't visited yet.

7) I wish to God I had an ability to just erase all sports knowledge from my brain.

8) Why do I get the feeling the Rangers are going to kill me again this year?

9) One game in and we know the Jets are dead.

10) Fuck the 2017 baseball season. I wish the hurricanes had destroyed Wrigley Field instead of Houston and South Florida.

NHL Predictions

Eastern Conference
Metropolitan Divisionz-Pittsburgh
x-Columbus
x-NY Rangers
w-Washington
Carolina
NY Islanders
Philadelphia
New Jersey

Atlantic Division
z-Tampa Bay
x-Toronto
x-Ottawa
w-Montreal
Florida
Buffalo
Boston
Detroit

Western Conference
Central Division
z-Chicago
x-Nashville
x-St. Louis
w-Dallas
w-Minnesota
Winnipeg
Colorado

Pacific Division
z-Anaheim
x-Edmonton
x-San Jose
Calgary
Los Angeles
Colorado
Vegas
Vancouver

Eastern Conference Finals
Columbus over Toronto

Western Conference Finals
Anaheim over Edmonton

Stanley Cup Finals
Anaheim over Columbus

Early experiences

It's been a week and a half since my last post. Life really does feel different than it ever has before. I'm doing things on my own. I'm speaking to different people with the wondering in the back of my mind if I will speak to them again. When I go to the grocery store, the hardware store, festivals, for the mall, I don't have to see the dreaded Cubs logo. Well, except once every two weeks or so. Of course I have flipped off a couple of Patriots fans.

There have been a couple of challenges to deal with. On Sunday afternoon, I noticed a long, thin crack in my windshield. It went horizontally on the passenger side and covered maybe a third of the windshield. I don't know how it happened, I'm thinking it was on my drive from Newport News to Virginia Beach. Even though it did not impair my driving, I knew enough about these things to know I had to get the issue fixed and get it fixed quickly. So I made an online appointment for Tuesday morning at Safelite. They wound up fixing the issue inside of an hour and a half. The windshield did have to be replaced, but thankfully insurance covered the issue without me paying a deductible. I did eat breakfast at Cracker Barrel while I was waiting. Not the best breakfast, but I did try to play that golf tee game. I got it down to two tees left on the board.

Another issue was my first full paycheck. I had chosen to put that money into my credit union account since I getter a better rate of interest than I would at a typical bank. At the time I did not have a new checking account set up yet. I didn't want to put a check into a checking account that was about to close anyway. So my mother arranged a transfer of the check from the credit union to my new account. And it took 10 full days for it to go through. Thankfully, that got fixed this morning.

One issue that did not end as well was the situation with Cox. The installer had told me that my charge would be $89.99 plus another $18 in fees and equipment. What I wasn't told was that I would be charged more money in taxes and other fees. So I'm paying another $22 a month than I expected. Including $30 a month for a telephone that I'm not even using.

I'm thankful for Dave and Debra, a married couple that I'm starting to become friends with. Dave is pretty quiet, but very generous, and Debra is the sweet one, rather inquisitive and open. We might be going out to lunch this weekend. I've also met a guy named Ira through running. He's a little older than me, and he's an Ira that's not from New York and not Jewish. He is actually from northern Virginia, enjoys his beer, and we've had some good conversations.

But there's a feeling that I've had. It is a feeling that I don't believe I've ever had in my entire life. Now and then, I just smile and I thank God. I have a place to live, I have a pretty darn good job, and I get to go through a period of self-discovery. I'm learning what I want to do, what I enjoy, what I prioritize, what matters to me, and it's making be responsible in a way that I haven't had to be before.

I leave in six days to fly back to Chicago. I'll be hauling a lot of big things out here. Maybe at that point, this apartment will really feel like a home. Right now, it feels like my place to stay. But I'm not sure it feels like home yet. Maybe that's because after this one year lease, they may raise my rate and I'll need to leave. Because if it's just me, I don't need anything more than a 1 bedroom. The master bedroom and bathroom are not even being used right now. And unless my mother comes to stay, it's not going to either.

I also decided to run a 5k for the first time since April of 2014. It will be taking place in Hampton in mid-October. I have six weeks to train. I know I can run it in 25 minutes, I've been doing that for the last month. Most of my fastest times in the past have been between 23 and 24 minutes. My fastest race was also my most recent and that was 22:14 at Willow Creek Church. With six weeks of calculated training, I'm confident I can run it inside of 24 minutes. Beating 23 minutes would be a great accomplishment.

Moved in

August 12, 2017. Not a date that will slip my memory. It's the day that I moved into my first apartment. I had the date set for probably three weeks in advance. Waking up that morning, I didn't feel afraid. I didn't feel overwhelmed. Well, except I wish I had a little more cash for it. But my attitude was I had a job to do and I was going to do it that day.

 

It was absolutely pouring rain that morning. Not the day to be moving a ton of stuff back and forth. I loaded 25 or 30 hangers with clothes on the rod inside my car, wishing I could have covered them in plastic bags. I arrived at the leasing office at 9:55, waiting for the doors to open. The staff arrived late and I did not get my keys until 10:15. Fifteen minutes may not sound like a big deal, but knowing I had more belongings still sitting in my room, and knowing that my friend was waiting for me to be ready so he could help me unpack, those minutes crawled by ever so slowly.

 

Craig came over and we started unloading my car. He focused on my clothes and I took just about everything else in. Thankfully, the staff let me use a covered parking space, so my items didn't have to get too wet. After about ninety minutes, we were done with the first load. The only casualty was half a bottle of cheap glass cleaner from the dollar store spilling on my kitchen counter. At least it was from the dollar store so it only cost me about five dimes

I made one more run back to the hotel, mostly for food and winter clothes. My car was only about half full this time. It seems like 90 percent of what I have is kitchen stuff and clothes. All in all, it took us about 2 and a half hours to unload everything.

 

I offered to take Craig for lunch to say thank you. We walked to The Cove, a tropical-ish restaurant in City Centre. We split the crab dip and each had an order of fish tacos. It certainly wasn't the best meal I've ever had, but after all that moving, it hit the spot. I will say the crab dip with the lightly toasted bread points was quite good, even if it was a little heavy.

After lunch, I went back to #5411. The apartment was very clean, the carpets had been professionally cleaned before I moved in. I started rearranging my closet and the kitchen. The two things it's very short on are furniture and light. I have one card table, one folding chair. No couch, no bed, no bedroom furniture. All my clothes are either hanging up or they're inside one of four suitcases. Then there's the light issue. There's no light in living room, aside from two small lamps I put on either side of the TV. There's no light in my bedroom, as I couldn't fit any floor lamps in my car.

But the biggest setback I had was the mattress didn't inflate. Even with new D batteries, there was no airflow at all. So I'm essentially sleeping on carpet. At this point I have a stack going on. It's my yoga mat, then the deflated mattress, then two bed sheets folder over twice, and two blankets. My back was not at all comfortable last night. The only way I got through the night was to put a pillow under my back the long way for support. And I still woke up at 3 and 5 am.

Keith from Cox came over at 3:45, and stayed about an hour to install my cable and Internet. So that's good, though I could use a stand to put the TV on.

 

I don't mean to complain. I'm thankful for this place and everything in it. It just feels half empty. But in two weeks, we'll see if it truly feels like home.

It's Saturday But I Could Swear It's Sunday

I have a three hour wait in the Providence airport before I fly to Charlotte, and then fly to Newport News. Time for some reflections.

 

1) The Philly burger and onion rings with Chipotle ketchup at Bobby Flay's Burger Palace​ are tremendous.

 

2) New England is just so gray and drab. It y be cloudy there at least 360 days a year.

 

3) I truly hate baseball right now. I wish it would go on strike. The Mets have completely numbed me.

 

4) I've been to five different churches in Virginia. One of them, I have no interest in, there are three that I'm moderately interested in, and there is one I'm quite interested in. Location and small groups will probably make a big impact on where I go. I have two more to go to, I really want to decide by the end of August where I will go.

 

5) TSA agent at security in Providence refused to touch my Jets cap. He tried to joke me with about who our quarterback would be. I wanted to deck him for being an asshole. Rather, I simply muttered, "It doesn't matter," and walked off.

 

6) Joe is simply one of my best friends in the world, even though we've only met twice now. He drove to Mohegan Sun to hang with me and we vented over another pitiful Mets loss while drinking Irish beer and Miller High Life.

 

7) There are really moments when I dread life. Those moments of fear, when the world just wants to stop me from moving forward, at least it can feel that way for me. I'm finally learning that life needs to be appreciated. Because I want to live my life in personal and Christian peace, I do not want to live in fear and worry. I am liking myself more these days, but I do wonder what would it would take for me to be able to look at myself and be completely content. I think one thing that could help that would be having peace of mind in moments when I'm tempted to panic. Some of those are financially based, some are relational, and some are about my physical state. I think learning to like myself is something I need to do. After all, if I don't like myself, why should anyone else?

 

8) It amazes me that I want to date, yet I'm scared that it's going to cripple me financially. Maybe it's just an easy excuse to save myself from further heartbreak.

 

9) One week from now, I'll be in my apartment. It's exciting, but it's a little scary to be leaving the hotel I've stayed in for three weeks.

 

10) I'm ready to get back to Virginia. I really feel it. And I think that's a good sign that it's feeling more like home.

 

PS. I didn't know I'd be sitting in first class. Keep the red wine flowing...

NFL Predictions

AFC
East
New England 15-1
Buffalo 5-11

Miami 5-11
Jets 3-13

North
Pittsburgh 11-5
Cincinnati 8-8
Baltimore 7-9
Cleveland 3-13

South
Houston 11-5
Tennessee 11-5
Indianapolis 6-10
Jacksonville 5-11

West
Oakland 11-5
Kansas City 9-7

Denver 9-7
Los Angeles 4-12

NFC
East
NY Giants 12-4
Dallas 10-6
Philadelphia 9-7
Washington 5-11

North
Green Bay 11-5
Minnesota 10-6
Detroit 6-10
Chicago 5-11

South
Atlanta 10-6
Carolina 9-7
Tampa Bay 8-8
New Orleans 6-10

West
Seattle 11-5
Arizona 10-6
Los Angeles 5-11
San Francisco 3-13

AFC Championship

New England over Oakland

NFC Championship

NY Giants over Green Bay

Super Bowl

New England over NY Giants

Yep, I'm predicting the most painful outcome possible.

A Death in the Family

One of the tough aspects of having such a small family is that when one of them dies, the impact of the loss can be that much greater. With fewer people in the family, there are fewer relationships so the good ones can be extra meaningful. By no means am I saying that people in smaller families have better connections to their kin, but I am saying that we can value the good ones a little bit more.

My maternal grandmother passed away last Wednesday afternoon, just five days before my birthday. What's tough about this is I feel like I don't have as many memories of her as I should. Certainly distance played a role as I lived 1500 miles from her for the last 14 years. And there are other family tensions that have damaged relations as well.

 

But I'm not going to dwell on the pain and the disappointments, I'm trying to recall some of my better memories of her. So let's do that.

 

The Waterslide. I can't recall where this was, though I'm pretty sure it was in Williamsburg, VA. Ironic, considering I just moved thirty minutes from there. My mother, grandmother, and I stayed at a hotel with an outdoor pool. And this pool had a small twisting slide. I've always had an affinity for waterslides so I took advantage of this. My grandmother saw how much fun I was having and thought she'd get in on the action. She climbed up the stairs and turned around. She leaned back and started sliding. Backwards. I know it didn't go smoothly, she actually feel off and hit her neck and ankle on the edge of the pool. She was ok, but I guess that's a testament to her adventurous spirit.

 

I remember her taking me to Subway, for a foot long Italian, back when I thought that was a good sandwich. Obviously, that was forever ago. I also remember getting excellent pizza at Papa Gino's and I'd constantly feed the jukebox, playing Garth Brooks and Creedence songs.

 

My grandparents have lived in Connecticut as long as I've been alive. Specifically, they lived in Waterford, in the southeast corner of Connecticut. There are some nice little towns we went to: Groton, Mystic, and Old Saybrook to name a few. On a sidenote, I'm still wondering where the newer Saybrook is.

 

We even went camping when I was in my grade school years. My grandfather would drive the old trailer and I'd help him level it when we were ready to park. My grandmother would handle the trips and the food. I remember sitting by campfires in New Hampshire, riding a bike without training wheels for the first time in a Vermont forest, and eating ice cream in southern Maine.

 

I remember in later years when I was attending college north of Boston. Several times, I took an Amtrak from Boston to New London and they'd pick me up and let me stay with them for a couple of days. It gave me a little taste of my youth and I always appreciated that gesture.

 

What I'm most thankful for is that she had the idea for me to apply to and attend Wheaton Academy in suburban Chicago. Those two years I spent at that school changed me radically for the better, both as a person and as a Christian. So I will forever appreciate that moment.

 

Thank you Priscilla Bartlett, my grandmother, I appreciate the care and attention you gave me. You helped to shape me as a person for the better and I will always appreciate that. I just wish there were more good memories for us in the more recent years.

On my way

It's 10:09 Eastern time and I'm laying in bed in a hotel room in Baltimore. Well, I'm really doing this. I'm uprooting my life for a new one.

My 2013 Honda sedan is a great car, but one thing it is not designed to is haul a bunch of stuff. That car is more loaded than Charlie Sheen after a tough weekend and I wish I could have packed another nine or ten boxes. I still don't know how I can see out the rear view mirror.

I really didn't have any emotions as I pulled out of my driveway in St. Charles at 4:45 this morning. I can be pretty sentimental at times, but this really feels like it's all about business. It's not that I want to abandon good memories, but I feel like I need to make this move work.

One of the things I really don't know is once I'm settled in the hotel, is there anything that I will need to go out and buy besides food. I don't plan on doing anything crazy with the food, I think I may be living largely on almond butter sandwiches, fruit, and carrots, until my first check comes in. I don't mind doing that for a while, I really don't.

The other thing that's pretty huge is what apartment will I take? I have three more to see Saturday. By the end of Saturday, I pray I can come to a decision that I'm content with. But one thing I didn't plan on was how these prices can fluctuate day to day. There can be a special for $100 per month, but the staff won't tell you that it expires that day. That just kills trust for me. Hidden catches and a lack of transparency. That happened at an apartment complex that I would have liked to have lived in. Now I'm not so sure I want it anymore. Because what else are they not telling me?

It looks like I need to go to bed bath and beyond to get some good towels. Now I'm not planning on using those until I get into the apartment. But I'm realizing more that it makes sense to invest in some decent towels, as they last longer and absorb moisture better.

So I'll be seeing my father tomorrow. First time I've been with my parents in five years. I really hope this goes well. Jimmy's seafood, I'm counting on you for a great meal.

Not my spirit

Well I've lived in the Midwest for 18 years. And for the first time in those 18 years, I vacationed in St. Louis. And after 27 hours, I'd had enough of St Louis.

Unfortunately the first flight out of Chicago on Saturday left at 10:30 am. American has five flights a day, and the first one doesn't leave till the end of the morning, which makes no sense at all. So I knew since the Mets game started at 3, I had to land, take the train downtown, check into the Hyatt, and hurry over to Paddy O's. My plans nearly got interrupted when the plane landed in Chicago a half hour late. The lavatory wasn't working, but thankfully they didn't delay takeoff just for that. With an hour on board, it's not the biggest concern anyway.

We landed and I jumped right on the red Metrolink line to head downtown. The stop at 8th and Pine was a four block walk east to my hotel which sat right off the Mississippi River and next to the Gateway Arch. My room wasn't even ready at 1 pm so I dropped my duffle bag and backpack at guest services and hurried south to Paddy O's.

The 7 line army came ready to cheer and ready to drink. I drank three Budweiser beers and lunches on two very enjoyable rib tacos. I saw my pal Rodolfo from Houston and I met a guy from Colorado named Dan. We chatted with a father and son from Michigan. It was fun venting about the sorry state of the team, and also sharing stories about baseball, food, and travel.

Then it was time to go. We marched loudly and purposefully up 7th Street to the third base entrance of Busch Stadium. Screaming "let's go Mets" with a thousand other people is just so invigorating. I even got a Tim McCarver bobblehead. Before heading to my seat in section 129, I drank a Schafly summer lager, a very refreshing crisp local beer.

As for the game, it sucked. That scumbag Adam Wainwright reminded us of all the misery he's instilled in us for years. And that asshole Yadier Molina had an RBI double. It was reliving one of the worst sports days ever, even it's 11 years ago. At 2-0 in the sixth inning, I knew it was over. And I was right again, they lost 4-1. But by then, I'd already showered in my room, gotten into clean clothes, and boarded the westbound MetroLink for the Grand station. My destination was the Italian section of St Louis known as the Hill.

I got off the train and had no idea where I was going. I was surrounded by medical and college buildings; I was just looking for the 14 bus. When I realized it only came every 40 minutes, I said screw this, and I summoned an Uber. It was the first of four Ubers I'd use in 20 hours. Without a doubt, one of the worst parts of the city is how hard is to get around without a car.

I was let off at Berra Park, where a little league tournament was going on. I thought the park was named after Yogi, but it was for another guy who passed away in the 60s. I'm sure he was a lovely man anyway. As I walked down the streets, it feels like the classic Italian neighborhood. No parking room, a line of brick houses with nearly manicured yards, eateries on the corners, and most of the businesses were closed by 4 pm. It definitely had that Brooklyn feel to it or even Fell's Point in Baltimore.

My restaurant of choice was Zia's. By 6 pm, there was no room in the bar area to move. They told I'd wait 45 minutes to an hour for a table. I spent the time walking around the neighborhood, noticing the local scene, and sitting on the curb with other people waiting to get in. I refused to sit at the bar as I did not want to face a TV that would have just reminded me of the lousy game. Of course with a lot of people wearing that ugly red, I was reminded of it everywhere I looked.

After 45 minutes I went back in, and I wound up waiting another half hour. Finally I got a table against the wall. I started with toasted ravioli, a staple of St Louis Italian cuisine. I got about ten small raviolis topped with Parmesan asking with a side of marinara with even more cheese. Those suckers are pretty addictive. Crispy and cheesy, they're a great start. The house salad was included and it consisted mostly of iceberg lettuce and red peppers with a ton of cheese tossed in their sweet house dressing which had a distinctive red wine vinegar flavor to it.

For my entree, I went with the chicken speidini. My waiter told me it was one of their most popular dishes. I was given a plate of chicken pieces arranged in a straight line, like a kabob without the skewer. It was served in a light sauce, with proscuitto, mushrooms, and Italian cheese. What impressed me was the seasoning on the chicken. I could taste the garlic and pepper. The chicken had a nice crust on the outside and was very juicy on the inside. It came with a side of shells and I asked for marinara. This was the most disappointing aspect of the meal for me. The sauce was just too sweet, it had no zest or kick. It was just straight tomato.

I passed on dessert as I'd just had a cannoli two days prior and the other two options had chocolate. Three dessert options is just not enough for an Italian restaurant, I'm sorry. The bill was reasonable, $27, and the service was reasonably good. But if this place is one of the best Italian restaurants in St Louis, I'm not sure I'd want to try the others.

I took an Uber to Laclede's Landing, a neighborhood which sits just north of downtown right on the river. It's sort of a step back in time, with a lot of brick buildings and brick roads. I suppose the city is trying to revitalize it by opening up bars and restaurants. I walked into the Morgan St Brewery. I saw they had peach flavored Jeremiah weed sweet tea vodka, so I got that on the rocks mixed with lemonade. But the place was quiet and mostly empty. After fifteen minutes, I was gone. I tried to have fun, as I walked back south to the ballpark village, which has a lot of bars and clubs. I went into Howl at the Moon, a duelling piano bar that I've been to many times in other cities. But this was the first that didn't charge a cover. I hung around for twenty minutes, but I realize I didn't feel like going out drinking by myself especially after a Mets loss. So by ten, I was back in my room for the night.

But I could not get to sleep so easily, between 1 and 2 am, I could hear my neighbors speaking really loudly through the walls. It got so annoying that I called security. The next morning when I woke up, they'd slid a Starbucks gift card under my door. I wish they could have given me a breakfast buffet with the omelet station, but I was thankful that they did anything because I did not expect it.

So Sunday came. I did thirty solid minutes on the elliptical and cashed in my Starbucks card for a green tea peach lemonade. Then it was over to the arch. Even at 8:30 in the morning, I could feel the intense heat and I knew I'd be staying in the shade when possible. To take the ride up in the arch, I had to go through a full metal detector. Electronics, metal, belt, all out. About the only thing I didn't have to do was remove my shoes.

They hooked me up with four other Mets fans, I guess they figured, eh, stick em all together. Basically there are eight separate elevator cars and each one seats five people. But there is so little room in these cars that you can't move during the entire four minute trip. Me first thought was hoping nobody would break wind.

We got up to the observatory deck, 630 feet high and each side had windows to gaze out from. One side showed St Louis and the other side was Illinois. There was nothing really notable ok the Illinois side. But with St Louis we could see some tall buildings, the old courthouse, the dome, and other sights. I thought the whole thing would take an hour, but after five minutes, I was ready to go.

With an hour to kill, I sat in the shade. I took the first river boat ride at 10:30 which took us down the Mississippi and pointed out a few features of the city and its history. Safe to say, this wasn't quite the architectural tour in Chicago, it wasn't even as interesting as Milwaukee.

Hungry as can be, I caught a ride to Pappy's smokehouse. I would never come to St Louis again without visiting here. By 11:30, the line was already twenty or thirty people deep. I had a half rack of ribs, sliced burnt ends, turkey, potato salad, vinegar slaw, and deep fried corn. The first part that impressed me was that my order was ready not even five minutes after I paid. I took a seat, went to wash my hands, filled my sweet tea, sat back down, and I had my food within a minute.

The ribs were seasoned nicely, and the apple and cherry wood gave them that subtle smoke flavor. The meat was juicy, as it came off the bone easily but it didn't collapse off the bone. The original sauce was well balanced and worked perfectly. The turkey was juicy as well, the burnt ends surprised me though. I expected cubes, but I got sliced meat. I used the hoodoo sauce on the beef. The slaw and salad were both fine, but the corn was crazy good. I don't think I can go back to boiled corn again. This corn was sweet and satisfying and I'll have no problem flossing later. It doesn't even bug me that they're missing cornbread from the menu, the fried corn makes up for it. I only wish they had more dessert options than just toffee chocolate cookies.

It was 1 pm and I really didn't know what else to do. I thought about vising the city museum, but I just walked the two miles back to the hotel. The Mets were dead by the third inning and not wanting to suffer anymore, I just left, getting to the airport five hours before my flight. But it gave me time to organize, and edit pictures, and play two podcasts.

And it's almost time for Samoa Joe vs Brock Lesnar...

Moving forward and upward

I'm getting closer to 40 than to 30 now. It seems that 35 is the age when people tend to stop and take a look at their life and ask themselves where their life is headed. It's not so much about day to day or even the next year. All of a sudden, you realize you're not as young as you used to be and the long term future comes into a clear, vivid focus.

At the beginning of 2017, I was feeling disillusioned and frustrated with where I was living. I was getting sick of my social life. It seemed 80% of my interacting outside of work was done online. That's not healthy in my eyes. In fact, the highlight was occasional Yelp events at restaurants, bars, and fitness clubs throughout the suburbs.

I have to admit, and I'm not proud of it, but every time I see anything referencing the 2016 World Series, I want to punch someone or spit on the banner. It's cost me friendships, and it's just not something I want to be around. So the sports frustration is really bothering me, to the point of where I stopped going to church since the bass player at the one I went to wore a freaking Cubs game on stage.

Also, work was incredibly frenetic, with people losing their jobs, and knowing none of us had a chance to get a raise or a promotion. So for almost two years, I've been working for two things: the steady paycheck and the students.

And there is a very personal factor here. My father. He talked for years about taking chances and moving. But he never did it. He never left the Northeast. He has his pattern, go to work, read, and watch sports. There's no adventure in his life. While I know he loves me, I don't want to emulate his life. I want to take a few more risks, be a little more spontaneous.

So with these factors in mind, I promised myself that I would make a major change in my life for the better. Now I didn't want to iron down what that change would look like. It could be a relationship, a new job, a new hobby, or something totally different.

That time is coming for me. This could really be happening right now in late June. About three weeks ago, I got an email from an HR worker from a college in Virginia. He asked me if I would be interested in an assistant manager of financial aid position. It was very difficult getting him on the phone, and he's not the most organized guy ever. That's kind of an important quality for someone in HR. Anyway, I had a 45 minute interview with three managers on a Monday, which was ten days ago, followed by another 45 minute follow up with my direct manager. I liked that she used to work in the system I'm in now, so she knows my background and how I've been working. At the end of that conversation, she told me I would be notified early on in the following week.

Monday came and I heard nothing. I didn't think too much of that, but I was hoping to hear something back by Tuesday. I had just finished lunch at Shake Shack, it was a double smoke shack burger with fries and an Arnold Palmer. I was walking back to work, a little tight on time. I was walking on Ohio street, and I felt my phone vibrate. I looked at the screen and I had a voicemail from Virginia. I started to feel excited and immediately called the HR rep back.

Sure enough, he offered me the position starting in mid July. In the next 30 hours, I completed my background check consent, welcome letter, and onboarding paperwork. And now it's Thursday night and I'm sitting on an American Eagle CRJ700 jet plane in seat 16A heading to Norfolk to scout the area.

I believe all that's left is for the background check to be finished. I'm not ready to give my notice to my current job or to announce the news publicly until I know that's clean. Hopefully they don't check my old Twitter account!

I know good and well that this is a risk I'm taking. I don't really know anyone in the Hampton Roads region. There will be a whole lot less variety in terms of food and recreation than what I have in the city of Chicago and in the suburbs. And this school is privately owned, it's not a huge university owned by the state.

But in the other hand, look at the benefits. Higher pay. My first opportunity to be a manager. Cheaper cost of living. Better weather. The beach. A chance to start over.

The deal is maybe 95% closed. I'm still feeling a little guarded, since it isn't totally done. Though there is no getting around the fact that my level of excitement is soaring as I anxiously wait for this plane to touch down in Norfolk. It's a new chapter in my life. It's much needed change. And I pray it's a rewarding one for me, personally and professionally.

Heartache tonight set list

Heartache tonight
The long run
Already gone
Peaceful easy feeling
In the city
New kid in town
The boys of summer
Tequila sunrise
Lying eyes
The heart of the matter
One of these nights
Funk 49
Life in the fast lane
My daddy was a handsome devil
Take it easy
Hotel California
Desperado

What's happening in this world

1) The NHL draft party was a very fun experience. For free, I got to take my picture with the Stanley Cup, the best trophy in sports. I also did a combine, where I tested my jumping ability, puck handling, slap shot power, shooting accuracy, and passing. The centennial museum truck was pretty cool with videos, classic sticks, jerseys, and other memorabilia. Inside the United Center, I got to try on the new Adidas jerseys and have my own Upper Decker hockey card made. The only annoying thing was every line was 45 minutes to an hour.

2) These parades this weekend are really embarrassing. So many people have no idea what love is. It's not having perverted feelings and acting on selfish desires. It's about sacrifice and deciding to value someone more than one values themselves. And the funny part is that those people who support these actions become the most hateful people in America when anyone disagrees with them. The very definite of hypocrisy.

3) I have been advised of being petty negative about my teams. My response is what else can I do? But no team has ever let me down like the Mets of this season. I wanted a championship this season. After the hell of the last two years, this was the time. They had the team to do it. Between the injuries, bad fundamental playing, burying their best prospects in the minors, more injuries, bizarre lineup decisions, and even more injuries, the season died in the middle of June. Though I can say with confidence I knew by late May that it was over. The fact that I want the disgusting Jets to start soon is just pathetic.

4) I was at the Elgin ribfest last Sunday night. I went alone, as I usually do. I sat down in the tent to chow on some ribs from Smokin Joe's in Ohio. A guy sat across from me, and soon, his girlfriend or wife joined. She looked at me inquisitively and eventually realized she'd cut my hair at SportClips. Within a few minutes, she tried to hook me up with her cousin. I haven't met her yet, but from the description I got, I'm thinking she's obese. Plus she has cats and loves comic books. Let's just say I'm not overly optimistic about this.

5) I'm convinced there is not one good single woman in the entire Midwest. Convinced.

6) I finally watched "The Big Lebowski." That was just weird. I don't see what the fuss was.

Leave him the dust too.

Five years isn't enough to get over getting a heart broken. I want it to be over. And I'm very willing to move on. But that girl, the way she abandoned me for no reason. Damn it, I feel like I'm over her walking with no words and no warning. Yet as soon as I find out she's with another guy, all I can think to myself is "You fucking moron. She's gonna fuck you over like she did to me." I hope this latest clown gets suckered in like I did. So I left a message and blocked his stupid self. I know better. He does not.

Hit it on a weekend

Definitely some catching up to do.

1) Pittsburgh is a fine city to visit, if you're planning on being there for 2 days. There just isn't a whole heck of a lot going on. It's one of those places where people don't move there, but people rarely move away from there.

2) PNC Park is probably now the best or second best baseball stadium I've ever been to. The sightlines, the atmosphere, the prices, the food, the intimacy. It all comes together incredibly well.

3) Sometimes I wish there had been another Master's program I had interest in besides HR management. Because the HR rep in my company in an absolute embarrassment. It's apparently a rite of passage that HR can recommend counseling for someone that they've known for 5 minutes.

4) I don't have a problem with friends having different beliefs than I do. What I have a tremendous problem with is people who send me unsolicited messages that are judging and opposing my beliefs. They don't want to have a conversation, they just want to spread their propaganda. That isn't a friend, that is a jerk.

5) It was so good to have Burt's pizza for the first time in two years. I thought that when they went out of business and then Burt Katz passed away that it would never come back. But they have returned and the pizzas are pretty much as good as I remember. Fresh produce, well seasoned meets, light airy crust, rich tomato sauce. And major props for having Brickstone APA on draft!

6) The Chicago Blues fest was a fun experience; it was the first time I'd seen a show in Millenium Park. The only issue I had with the Jay Pritzker Pavilion was that it was very hard to understand the lyrics. Without the words, there's no song. William Bell is an awesome classic soul singer. "This Is Where I Live" is his first studio album in 30 years and I only wish I could have heard more than two songs from that record.

7) This Audible audiobook service is working out decently. The simple truth is I have to really be into the subject. The Daniel Bryan book was excellent, the Lee Strobel book "The Case for Christ" is great. I'm such a big John Ortberg fan that any book he releases I'm going to be a fan. But even though "The Game" by Ken Dryden is considered one of the best hockey books of all time, it felt like a chore trying to get through it. The whole book is 14 hours of audio and by the fourth hour, I had given up.

8) Someone asked me what my bucket list concert would be. Who would the one artist be that I would see if it was up to me. I'd probably say Springsteen, I just hope he doesn't go into a bunch of political crap.

9) I'm switching phone carriers for the first time ever today. It's not my preference, but I'm going from Verizon to Sprint. I'll be interested to see if anything changes besides the strength of my coverage. I would just like a freaking phone that doesn't die after three hours.

10) How is that one pillow doesn't give me enough support, but two pillows stacked together put too much strain on my neck?

Let me keep on dreaming

You blew into my life like a storm on the shore.
I wasn't ready for your passion, your light, your perfect love
I just knew I was gonna fall for you
It wasn't my plan, but I had not another choice.
And yet I've never gotten to be near you or even hear your voice

I'm still so scared this distance will drive you away
I've been through this before and I never thought I would do it again.
But woman, there's no one else in the world like you.
You get me, you know me, you believe in me.
And I believe in you, and I just can't get enough.
And I can't bear to only have your memory.

I know we agreed
We need to stay just friends
All these miles, they're too much for these broken hearts to bear.
But you're the realest thing in my life.
I feel your presence all day long and I beg for your touch in the night.
No one can do what you do to me baby.
Please let me keep on dreaming that one day you might be mine.

NY 2017, day 3

AG picked me up at the Bronx house. We've been communicating for about two years, so it was exciting for us to finally have the chance to meet. It seemed as though we spent half of our time together stuck in traffic. And if she's reading this, I'm sure she'll cringe, but I can't help but point out the baby blue Nissan Cube that she drove us in. And since she's probably reading this, I'm not going to say anything else about it.

Our first stop was Prospect Park. We walked three and a half miles around the entire park. There was actually a half-marathon that morning which started in Prospect Park and finished south in Coney Island. So with some people still running, we were kind of going against traffic. When we got to the north section of the park, where Green Army Plaza was, they had a farmers market going on, the same one I stumbled across the previous year. We got to sample smoked duck breast, several types of pickles, and I sampled a local pale ale, which would have cost $10 a bottle. I probably saw about 15 different kinds of bread that I wanted to sample, but unfortunately, they were not available.

Next it was grub time. And there was only one place to go. Hometown BBQ in the Red Hook section. I had been waiting to go to this place for maybe 2 years. We had to wait on line for about thirty minutes just to place our order. The meats get ordered by the half pound. We started with brisket, which any BBQ joint needs to know how to make, unless it's in the Carolinas. The seasoning and bark on the outside was absolutely perfect. It wasn't overly smokey, but this seasoning is very peppery. The brisket itself was a little fattier than I would have preferred though. I was really impressed with the sticky BBQ sauce, the sweet and smoky flavor worked perfectly on it. They also have a hot and sweet sauce, but it tasted too much like a straight hot sauce for my liking.

The Jamaican jerk ribs were a definite highlight. We got six meaty baby back bones, covered in green onions. There was a hint of spice, but by no means were they hot. But they were cooked spot on. They fell off the bone without collapsing off the bone. The Vietnamese wings...well I took those to go. And the bacon pastrami, I obviously had to try that. Similar to the brisket, it had an awesome bark on the outside, but was pretty fatty. The meat itself was incredibly tender though.

And then the sides. For me, it all starts with the cornbread, some of the best I've ever had. No kernels, that's a key for me. And it was incredibly rich. It tasted like honey was mixed into the batter itself. It added an element of richness to the cornbread, but it wasn't overly sweet. No butter or honey needed. The potato salad was white in color and quite creamy, it had red potato skin and chives mixed in. Very smooth. The cole slaw was crunchy and well balanced, tasting more of vinegar than mayo.

Also, thumbs up on the great music. Hall and Oates, Creedence, Ray Charles, etc. I got an Arnold Palmer from the bar. It was great, but it was a very small glass and there were no free refills. That was disappointing. And can we have bathrooms that are gender specific please? Thank you...

AG and I had about 90 minutes to get back to the Bronx, thanks to a steady stream of traffic on the Brooklyn Queens expressway. We chatted about fitness, driving, colleges, living in New York, her kids, etc.

I got back at 4pm. Not wanting to sit in the house, I walked down the street to the Pelham Bay library. I planned to do some writing and charge my phone. Well that did not take long. The library closed at 5 on Saturday. So after 45 minutes, I walked the two blocks back to the house, where I promptly passed out in bed. I hadn't been drinking or anything, I was just worn down. Maybe it was all the BBQ.

Jimmy got home from work around 6 and his friend Alex came over around 7:30. We watched the first two matches of NXT. As soon as the Tyler Bate vs Pete Dunne match for the UK title ended, we caught an Uber to City Island. Gina was having a late birthday party at a Puerto Rican club/ restaurant. We got there at 9:15, but she and her friend did not arrive till 10.

I was still pretty tired and really had no appetite after all the BBQ I had eaten. And this place was not where I needed to be. The music was so loud and blaring, that there was no way to have a conversation with another person. We had dinner and I just had a tomato and avocado salad and one empanada. I did have some free garlic bread, which was great. But I was not in a mood to dance or anything like that. By 1 in the morning, I was ready to go, though I would have been ready to leave at midnight. And an Uber took Jimmy and I back by ourselves and I finally got into bed around 2. The catch was I had to be up at 5:30 to get my plane to go home. Thankfully, I did get my dozen bagels!