I don't think anyone on earth, who supposedly has so much going for them, has been rejected as many times as me.
Two women already, since I moved to Raleigh, and it's likely about to be 3.
What did I do so wrong, or what is so wrong with me that I need to be avoided at all costs?
43 years old, and my family tree is basically dying with me. So it's on me. Somewhere, I screwed everything up.
Maybe people are just assholes.
Mavericks
Without a Word
Overnight Success
Live Close By (Visit Often)
There Goes My Heart
As Long As There's Love Tonight
Dance the Night Away
Every Little Thing About You
La Siteria
Rolling Along
Dance in the Moonlight
All You Ever Do Is Bring Me Down
Dwight Yoakam
Keep On the Sunny Side
Please Please Baby
Little Sister
Streets of Bakersfield
Think of Me
What Do You Know About Love?
Things Change
This Time
I'll Be Gone
Blame the Vain
I Sang Dixie
Always Late With Your Kisses
Pocket of a Clown
You're the One
Turn It On, Turn It Up, Turn Me Loose
Crazy Little Thing Called Love
Honky Tonk Man
A Thousand Miles From Nowhere
It Only Hurts When I Cry
Little Ways
Guitars, Cadillacs
Fast As You
Suspicious Minds
At Red Hat Amphitheatre, Raleigh, NC
So it's nearly one month since I moved from Newport News to Raleigh. It's a Saturday night and I have nothing to do at all. Figured I'd take a minute and talk about a few things that have gone on.
First and foremost, the job. It's 3 weeks down and it's slow, steady progress. This school had systems and reports to run that I'm still trying to understand how they fit in the overall scheme. But this role is far more administrative than my previous ones were. I'm used to seeing a lot of students and this isn't like that. I'm still answering questions, but most of my job is self-paced. I do like that, but it's a matter of knowing what to do when and eventually understanding how I'm helping. Staff is super nice, very supportive. Funny thing is I'm one of the youngest people on staff! I think at some point I can try to modernize a few things. Translation: less paper, more electronic.
The building is old. Really old. Like about 100 years old. The restrooms are unisex and in the summer months you have to leave the door open so the air can flow. And I actually have my own desk with a window! I never expected that to have that. If anything, I could use a couple more outlets, but with all the old heavy wooden furniture, there isn't much room to move stuff around.
I've done several meetup events, mostly all walks. It's a decent group of folks, though I'm seeing new people every time. I'm hoping there will be some people who will be reliable, steady friends.
As for the women, well, not much to say. One girl decided after a week of communication she was too busy. Funny, it's like she suddenly realized she had a lot going on. Frustrating thing I feel she led me on, talking about trips and date ideas. There's always a catch: they're taken, they're far away, they have a ton of kids, they have a severe mental health diagnosis. I don't know how people ever end up in good relationships.
Food highlight is probably Morelia Paletas, which is a custom popsicle shop. They have about 20 flavors of ice cream and sorbet on sticks, 4 dips, and about 10 toppings. I opted for the strawberry cheesecake dipped in cookie butter, since it was the only non-chocolate option, topped with crushed almonds. Fantastic. The pop was kept so cold that it didn't even have a chance to melt. Great flavor, I'm not a major dessert guy, but this was great.
Some of the restaurants have been hit or miss. Red Hot and Blue was mediocre counter BBQ at best. I've been to Bad Daddy's Burger bar three times. I like the funky vibe and food a lot. I just wish the kitchen guys realized a medium burger is not intended to be cooked all the way through. Taco Bamba is a great spot near where I work, my boss actually took me there on my first day. Some of the tacos have some Southern influence such as using Cheerwine flavored bacon carnitas. Definitely a place to return to.
The apartment is working out well. There are a lot of college aged people here, which makes sense since it's so close to NC State, I'm assuming their parents cover the rent. I guess it's a good balance since my co-workers are mostly older. I haven't made too many conversations with people around, I guess it's a societal thing to not interrupt anyone. Hopefully when they have a few community events this month, it'll help. And I was used to being the only one at the pool when I was living in Virginia. Not here. There are usually 4 or 5 women around getting sun. And no, I'm not about to talk to them.
Shipt grocery deliveries are much different here than they were in Virginia. The drives from store to residence can sometimes be 30-40 minutes. Now I don't mind driving to a new town, but some of these towns ain't worth going back to. But there are a good number of orders that are usually available. The thing is I usually get off work at 5 pm and that's the time when traffic is at its worst. So if I'm doing deliveries, I'd rather do 2 or 3 if I'm taking the time to not go home right away. And there are probably 4 or 5 zones all 10 minutes away, so it does present options. Guess I'm still finding my groove of what zones work for me and which ones don't.
Update: I did see a girl back to back days. Let's see if this goes somewhere.
It's the end of April and I haven't written a thing in all of 2024. But if ever there was a time to break my silence, this is it.
I'm sitting at my work desk, or at least the most recent incarnation of it. It's a remarkably small desk. If I stretch my arms out, I would be reaching into the next cube space. And this was one of the final straws for me at my current company. I essentially was downgraded from an adjustable large L shaped desk to what essentially amounts to a bookshelf. Also there were times when admissions was shown appreciation from the higher ups and FA wasn't, such as a lunch after a January start had gone well. FA wasn't notified about it and those students can't start without being packaged. Also the constant changing in my job duties. I was going to work reentries, then I was going to work military students, then I was going to work independent students. And these changes would happen every 6 weeks or so.
I have been working here for 6 years, since July of 2018. I met a lot of good people. I worked with a lot of students. I did my job very well. But it was really the lack of respect and appreciation and lack of stability that did me in.
So I started applying for new jobs. I narrowed my search on Hampton Roads as well as the Triangle in North Carolina; I didn't have any intention of moving too far away. So it was early March on a Saturday when I sat down at the Captain's Den, my favorite local coffeehouse, and began updating my resume and cover letter and started completing online applications. I probably applied for 6 or 7 jobs over the course of a week.
I didn't hear back from too many places. I would have relished a chance to work at Christopher Newport University in Newport News. But as I found out from a former manager, they don't hire for profit employees. I think it's absolutely absurd, but it's the cold hard reality. And they can do business how they choose, even if they are missing out on qualified candidates.
And so it was on Wednesday March 20, I got an email from a guy named Kevin, the FA Director at Meredith College. I knew of the Raleigh, NC based school since my mother has former co-workers whose daughters went there. We arranged a Zoom interview with him, the assistant director, and the current info director who is working her way towards retirement.
So the following Monday, I drove home on my break and did a 15 minute interview. I don't remember a ton of the questions, but I did feel pretty comfortable through the interview and I was sure I carried myself as knowledgeable, confident, and personable. I asked about next steps and they said there would be in person interviews for qualified candidates. I asked if it could be the upcoming Friday or following Monday since I would be in town for Easter and I didn't want to drive the 7-hour round trip twice.
Sure enough, they agreed to a Monday in-person interview that would last two hours. At that point, I pretty much figured there wasn't more than one other candidate and chances are I was the only one they were interviewing and they wanted to make sure I would fit in.
So the Monday after Easter, which was also April Fool's Day, I put on my suit and drove into the picturesque, pine tree-lined campus and drove a lap around the campus. It was rather quiet, but well maintained. I parked and walked in the Johnson Admin Building at the front of the campus. I met Kevin and chatted casually with him for about 15 minutes. Then, I began my tour with various departments. 4 people in accounting, the registrar, and finally the entire 7 person FA team. The whole process lasted 2 and a half hours. And I have to say that's a long time to be that on your game. Words, tone of voice, body language, everything. But Kevin walked me to my car after, maybe he wanted to see what I drove, I don't know!
I think it was Friday when Kevin emailed me about references, since an email address was wrong. When job is checking your references, you have to feel pretty confident, and at this point, I knew I was about done with my life in Virginia. We got the email issue resolved, and the next Thursday, April 11 when I was donating plasma, he emailed me about setting up a phone call. I knew he wouldn't set our first phone call to say they went in a different direction.
Sure enough, he offered me the job. I took 24 hours to consider it but I knew I was going to accept. I emailed him back Friday morning to let him know. And all that was left was the background check and that took another week. He told me as long as I didn't murder anyone, I was good. I told him as long as flies in the kitchen don't count, I was good. And I was hoping they didn't find my YouTube sports page, cause they would have seen my emotional side!
That afternoon after work, I drove down to Raleigh for more apartment searching. I probably went to 8 or 9 places, including two of them for the second time. And when one of them offered me 2 free months rent, I knew I was going to take it. Yes it will be a quarter less space than my current place, but the complex is only 2 years old, I'm on the 4th floor with an elevator, it has a balcony, a large kitchen, and the gym and pool are super nice.
So that was enough for me. Two days later, Monday, March 15. I turned in my resignation letter, which had been sitting on my OneDrive for a couple of days.
Ten days later is today. And today is the end of a chapter for me. I'll be spending the next two weeks packing and loading.
So as I prepare to leave Virginia, I realize I have definitely changed over these last 7 years. And I'm not always one to recognize changes in myself. But I'm a different guy than that 35 year old who left Chicagoland after living 14 years in the same house and boldly went on his own for the first time. I have been hustling harder than ever, balancing full time work, and multiple part time jobs, and now NY Sports WickerMedia on Youtube. I learned to budget. I learned to manage my time, as no one was there to do anything for me. I learned more about decision making. I loved a girl or two and got my heart broken. I made some friends, some lasted, some were only meant to be in my life for a period of time. My faith, well, I don't know if it's grown. Church was a struggle here. After all the great ones I attended in Chicago, nothing in Virginia could come close. It's time for that to change.
Haven't done a quick hits post in a while so let's do that now.
1) Rangers swept the Capitals and now begin a second round series against Carolina. Of course, right as moving to the area! My instinct says Carolina in 7, I expect pure heartache.
2) As for the Knicks, I feel more optimistic, mostly because the Indiana Pacers can't play defense or rebound. I'll take New York in 6 to make it to the Eastern Conference Finals.
3) The YouTube thing seems to be going well. I'm getting close to 900 subscribers. But damn, I hate that I can't get paid.
4) I liked the Jets Draft. I loved Malachi Corley and Braelon Allen, and the Jets added both in the 3rd and 4th rounds, respectively. And they also reinforced the offensive line with Olu Fashanu and added their possible quarterback of the future in Jordan Travis. In Joe Douglas, I still trust.
5) Running isn't getting easier. I wonder if I can get back to 7:15 a mile for an extended period of time. I can still do 8:00/mile without much trouble and I can go 30 to 40 minutes before I start to feel challenged. Oh and why is it every time I say I run races, people ask the marathon question? Do you run marathons, they ask. When I say no, it's like, oh you're not a real runner.
6) Fried food, I can only handle so much of it. The night before my final shift at work, I had a Yelp event at SuperChix in Williamsburg. It's basically a fried chicken sandwich and frozen custard joint. After 3 boxes of fresh cut fries, 8 or 9 varieties of chicken sliders, and 3 boxes of salad, my stomach was wiped. Oh and then came 4 cups of frozen custard.
7) I met Meghan at that event. It was her first Yelp elite event. She was so down to earth and nice. I managed to see her later that week for coffee. We hung for about 2 hours that Tuesday before I drove down to Raleigh to pick up my apartment keys. I can't deny I had interest, and she is someone I would like to keep communicating with. And she is pretty shy, I can already tell. But...it still irks me that I initiate all contact. I guess I should look at women like I do my sports teams, with lowered expectations.
8) Moving and packing is coming along pretty well. My mother being here for 3 days really made an amazing difference. The main things left to box up at this point are food and cookware, and I certainly have more boxes than I will need. So I'm just trying to eat whatever I have in the apartment, especially in the freezer. With the pulled pork and sausages saved in the freezer and pancake mix still in the pantry. I may put on a couple of pounds from this!
9) The election is six months away. It is truly scary that there are people in this country who would sign up for 4 more years of higher prices, illegals invading, wars all over the place, etc as opposed to the prosperity and strength we enjoyed with President Trump. Hopefully no dead people vote this time and mail in voting is heavily restricted. Voter ID is what we should have...OK I'll stop there.
10) I'll say it again. Let's Go Rangers!
