Running again

We've had an unseasonable warm stretch of weather during February here in Chicagoland. So on Friday, with nothing much to do, I took a walk on my break during work. I walked north on Orleans St. As I got to Oak St, I looked up and saw a billboard for the Shamrock Shuffle 8k race on Sunday April 2.

I felt a desire stirring up inside of me again. The last time and the only time that I ran this race was in 2014. I ran the 4.97 miles in 35:01, which was a pace of 7:03. Out of over 30,000 runners, I finished. 1,259th. I felt really good about my performance and I knew I could get even better.

But then my dreams took a turn. Six weeks later, I was newly unemployed and I suffered a serious injury to both my legs, especially my lower right quadricep. Since then, I have only run occasionally on a treadmill, I have not run in a race. Rather, I've opted for doing DDP Yoga at home. Don't get me wrong, I love the home workouts. But I get this great feeling and satisfaction that I've really worked hard and accomplished something when I complete a vigorous run.

I decided I wanted to run again. And tonight I ran 2.5 miles in 20 minutes. Now if I kept that up, I'd finish in 40 minutes, which would be pretty good. But that's still five minutes slower than what I ran three years ago.

The only thing I need to figure out is where I'm going to train. There is a local gym that's offering $1 memberships and they're open 24/7. On the surface, that sounds great. But the question is how long does the $1 go for. Is it a day? Is it a week, a month? Basically I need to train for six weeks. I'm willing to pay a little bit, but I'll be very interested to see what the catch is for a $1 membership fee.

If the fitness club doesn't work, I can also try to work out at my old high school. They have a pretty good gym over there and I'm pretty sure I can use it since I'm an alumnus.

Now let's assume the training aspect comes together. I have a six-week training plan mapped out, where I run four days a week, cross train two days a week, and rest on one. I intend to leave a short post after every workout to not only track my progress, but to also keep me accountable. To maximize my effort, it is important that I not take one day off. And I intend to give this 8k the best I can.

MLB Predictions

After the two worst World Series in the history of baseball, nothing is acceptable this year except a Mets World Series championship. Nothing. And I feel horrible for having that mentality. Championship or bust does not allow for any element of happy surprises. But between Satan winning another Super Bowl and the Scrubs winning a title that they don't deserve, I seriously wonder how much torture I can endure as a sports fan.

National League
East
NY Mets 90-72
Washington  89-73
Miami  80-82
Atlanta 76-86
Philadelphia 72-90

Central
Scrubs 95-57
St. Louis 86-76
Pittsburgh 83-79
Milwaukee 74-88
Cincinnati 71-91

West
Los Angeles 96-56
San Francisco 89-73
Colorado 86-76
Arizona 82-80
San Diego 74-88

American League
Boston 98-54
Toronto 92-70
New York 86-76
Baltimore 78-84
Tampa Bay 76-86

Central
Cleveland 92-70
Kansas City 86-76
Chicago 82-80
Detroit 77-85
Minnesota 73-89

West
Texas 88-74
Anaheim 85-77
Houston 83-79
Seattle 82-80
Oakland 76-86

ALCS
Boston over Cleveland

NLCS
NY Mets over Los Angeles

World Series
NY Mets over Boston

Confronted

So I was at an event tonight. At a church. I knew there was a chance she would come. And if she did come, it was all but guaranteed that he would be there too. The fiance. With the fat ugly jerk. Well, five minutes in, she came in. And he was there.

As I saw him walk in, with her trailing behind, I really wanted to walk out. But I stayed and tried to focus on the music on the Lord. It's important to block out the distractions. But I knew pretty quickly that my own efforts would be futile. As the band played on, I found myself unable to sing. I couldn't bear to focus on the horror that was just ten feet to my right. My thoughts were just focused on my place in life and where I'm going now.

I think so much about leaving the midwest. But I wonder if it's really the answer to my problems. If I moved, would my life really get better? Are these hurts and pains and oppression something that could be rectified by leaving the Midwest? I'm not asking for a sure thing. But is this a risk worth taking?

I'm feeling incredibly reflective now. And I know I have to get to a point where I can really know myself, the good and the bad. It's a very uneasy feeling to approach those dark places of myself and analyze them. But you can't cure cancer by putting a Band Aid on it. You have to find the cause of the cancer and cut it out. I feel that I need to take similar action on the dark parts of my life. 

As I sit here, I'm 35 years old. I have a lot more confidence in myself than I did even two years ago. At the same time, I have far less faith in people and the world than I used to. I wonder more and more how a 30-something conservative Christian who is passionate about NY sports, justice, and Jesus fits in a world that is getting more and more liberal all the time. If that means losing a few friends because I'm willing to speak my mind and be honest, that's their problem, not mine.

Life could not be worse

This world is so evil. The bad guys always win. Just when I thought the World Series was the worst thing that could have ever happened when the shitty Cubs did what they did. Now this Super Bowl, the worst of all time. The only justice would be the New England Patriots plane crashing. I wish I was dead instead of Brian.

RIP Brian

I was having a fine Saturday. I donated my plasma at a blood center then had a great burger with some friends in Brookfield. We then went to a huge arcade and played games for four hours. I hadn't played Super Mario Bros in maybe 20 years. It was a great way to spend an afternoon.'

Then I began my hour drive home to St. Charles. At a red light I checked my phone. I saw a post from my friend Jennifer, who recently move to Houston. The post began with these words...

RIP Brian Geddes.

In essence, he developed blood clots in his lungs and it turned out to be a fatal situation.

Now Brian was one of the best friends I've ever had. I met him in 1997 shortly after I moved to Illinois. We were in the same church small group. Within a couple of times of meeting, I knew we had a certain chemistry. It was one of those connections where I would say something and he'd just run with it. He'd say something and I'd pick up on it immediately. Even if no one else in the room got it, we'd be laughing.

Even after I went away to college and later came back, our friendship remained. He was running in some different circles, but I didn't think anything of it. I had heard he was planning to move to Dallas and go to seminary down there. As I recall, he was there for a short time and came back. I don't know the story and I don't even care to know. What matters is that he cut off contact with all his friends who were Christians and went to church. And that included me. I tried calling a few times and he never responded.

I respect that he lived his life how he chose, but I'm still disappointed in the way that he chose to do it. I believe our last contact was in 2006 or 2007, I'm not even sure anymore. So it's safe to say I didn't expect to ever speak to him again, but I always held out a little bit of hope that we might come back together. Now I know it will never happen.

As for my feelings, well, I'm still making sense of that. My world isn't rocked by it. I haven't cried, I don't know if it's really sunk in. I guess it's a feeling of disappointment and the recognizing of a friendship that should have lasted a lot longer than it really did. But it reinforces the fact that a relationship of any kind needs both parties to care.

I'll just put it this way. There are only three phone numbers I have memorized to this day. Mine, my mother's, and Brian's.

So long Geds. I pray that the God you grew up serving and loving now takes you home.

Royal Rumble predictions

Pre-show: Naomi, Becky Lynch, and Nikki Bella over Mickie James, Alexa Bliss, and Natalia
Cesaro and Sheamus over Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson
Nia Jax over Sasha Banks

Main show
Neville over Rich Swann
Charlotte over Bayley
AJ Styles over John Cena
Roman Reigns over Kevin Owens
Royal rumble: Undertaker or Samoa Joe

Relationship conflicts

I used to be a pretty avid watcher of the Dr Phil show. Then I had to stop watching because I started working during the day. But I remember one of his famous quotes. When he sees a pattern of family mistakes that run through generations, he will often say this sentence.

"Somebody has to be a hero in this family."

And I realize that the hero has to be me.

The way I see how terribly my family handles conflict, it is the best motivator in the world for me to do things right. It seems the two examples I see are either complete withdrawal and denial or yelling and tearing people down. And neither of those is the way to go.

Lord knows I have my struggles. With the issues I have in dealing with rejection, at the slightest sign of conflict, I do worry if I'm going to be forsaken. But I do believe one of the best indicators of the relationship will last, and that could be romantic, familial, friendship, or whatever, is how the two parties handle their disagreements and their negative moments.

I have met way too many women over the last couple of months to run away like a little cowards at the first sign of conflict. And I now realize that I don't really need them. A relationship is not sunshine, rainbows, butterflies, and a dozen Roses every day. It takes work and commitment from both parties. And I have no desire to be with anybody who is not willing to put the work in.

Triangle trip

MLK weekend. One of the advantages of working for a college is getting all the federal holidays off. Maybe I should have worked for a Jewish college and I'd get even more days off. Anyway, I flew into Raleigh for a two day getaway. With my mother gone in Portugal on a work symposium, I couldn't bear the thought of three days in that cold house without my computer. So I decided to head south and scout out the area.

In total, I was in town for about 30 hours and the vast majority of my trip consisted of driving and touring apartment complexes. So I'm just going to touch on ten keystones of those 30 hours.

1) One of the big parts of this trip was that I rented my first car alone. It was a silver Toyota Corolla and I was quite pleased with it, especially for $47 total. It drove smoothly, gave me great gas mileage, and the audio controls were very easy to figure out. The only surprise was when I got an email alerting me that Dollar had charged me $350 on my credit card. I don't know if that's standard practice with all rental companies, but the guy behind the counter could've told me that my card would incur that kind of charge.

2) Speaking of things I did for the first time, I spent most of Saturday afternoon exploring apartments. I think I visited eight complexes and there were only three that I'd rule out immediately, whether because of cost or because of poor service. They have a lot of the same amenities: gyms of various levels, social events, pools, and washers and dryers. Closet space definitely varies from place to place. After going from a walk in to basically a reach in, I definitely want room for some clothes.

It's tough to imagine myself in a studio apartment, especially if I was to have a guest over. The space just feels so limited. Now I don't own a ton of stuff, but it's hard to see it all fitting in such a tiny space. A one bedroom would work well for me, but mom seems pretty insistent on a two bedroom. But once the job comes, then I'll be able to decide what fits my budget.

As for location, I really focused on North Raleigh. I think six or seven of the complexes were focused on that area.  I did visit a downtown tower, which was pretty cool, especially with an outdoor swimming pool on the top deck. I have to admit, it does appeal to me.

3) Onto food. It's amazing I've typed this much without refrencing grub,  isn't it? My first stop was the Roast Grill in downtown Raleigh. This classic hot dog joint has been around since 1940. I loved the interior. Lots of coke memorabilia and some classic NC State artifacts. Also, a big sign that clearly forbids ketchup. That's an automatic four stars minimum review for me. And the space is tiny, with eight barstools and three wooden tables pressed against the wall.

The menu is pretty straightforward. All they serve is charred hotdogs and soft drinks. I had two dogs, with yellow mustard, raw onion, chili, and vinegar cole slaw. First of all the buns are steamed perfectly, so they're warm and fluffy. The dogs are 90% beef, with just a little pork,  and they're charred on an old, and I do mean old, flat top. One of my main complaints with Chicago dogs is they are steamed. I prefer a nice crunch and snap on the outside of my dog. Roast Grill gets it right. No ingredient overwhelms any other. I'm not the biggest fan of chili on a hot dog, but it did add a punch. And the coke is only a dollar for an eight ounce glass bottle. All I paid was $6.50, which is a bargain in my book. Cash only. And I was surprised Chase bank isn't in North Carolina, so that left me using my cards for most of the trip.

Around the corner was State of Beer. I was surprised it was the only location that they have. Basically it is one long bar and there are nine or ten unique beers on tap with a beer market behind the customers. Also they have an extensive LP record collection. They were playing BB King: Live from Cook County Jail. That is so much cooler than standard pop music. I drank an Indian pale lager from Trophy brewing. It was straw like in color, but very enjoyable and smooth.

4) I wanted to visit the State Capitol, which is a priority whenever I visit a capital. This one was really simple. The highlight in the main foyer wasn't the state seal, it was a statue of George Washington. They had the meeting rooms for the House and Senate as well as a replica of a vintage bookstore. But after about ten minutes, I was done. Oh, there was one jerk in a Patriots shirt who I really wanted to flip off.

5) I'd been awake since 2 am and taken two flights that morning. After four hours of apartment hunting, I needed a recharge in the worst way. I stayed in a hotel called Extended Stay. Now I didn't choose this hotel, it was an express deal on priceline. And it was cheap, $50 for the night. It may have been the most decrepit hotel I've ever stayed in. Let's run down the reasons, shall we. It's one of those outdoor villas, so I had to drive to my room and carry my bag upstairs. And right under that stairway are the filled garbage cans. Great image guys!

Also, there's no gym. Not even a treadmill or a dumbbell. Well there are dumbbells, but they manage the place. Used tissue under my bed. Cockroach on my blanket. A freaking cockroach. Safe to say I did not keep that blanket on my bed. I don't know if other Extended Stays are like this, but I'm not about to find out.

6) After an hour charging my devices and cleaning up, I headed to the PNC Center. I was going to visit Cowfish for a sushi burger, but there was no parking to be had. So it was straight to the hockey game between the Carolina Hurricanes and New York Islanders. Of course, as I parked, I found myself right behind the Islanders tailgate. I was wearing a blue Rangers shirt, but no one said anything. At least not to my face.

In the arena, it was Star Wars night. So the intros had that theme, and the characters were taking pictures with fans. I've never seen the movies, so it meant nothing to me. And I saw the single most embarrassing thing I've ever seen at a hockey game: fans doing the wave. The wave has no place in any pro sport, especially hockey. There was also one season ticket holder right behind me wearing a Whalers jersey blowing one of those long horns. I swear the hearing in my left ear went out for a second. The game was certainly entertaining as the Hurricanes rallied from a 3-1 deficit in the second period to blow the Brooklynders out 7-4. Of course, I got in the car just in time to hear the Rangers give up three goals in 26 seconds in Montreal.

7) Onto Sunday. I checked out of the hotel as quickly as could and drove to NC State University. I just wanted to explore the campus. I'd have gotten a shirt, but the only good one was in the airport for $25. Me thinks not. I had found Hope community church on an online search. I have to say I was quite impressed. It's a good sized church, not too big or small. And the staff was quite welcoming to me, with smiles and handshakes.

The message from pastor Mike was really on point. This church has made a point to have a very racially diverse church and they've made progress. But he challenged the congregation to reflect where their hearts really were. He asked a very simple but hard question. Who's on your hate list? He mentioned so many categories of people that we don't like, even if we don't want to admit it. Not just skin color and political parties. He mentioned things like single parents, northern and southern people, homeschooling parents, meat eaters, skinny vs fat people, etc. Very poignant, especially on Martin Luther King weekend.

8) I needed some time to reflect and to just get some quiet. So I went to Umsted Park, a very large park, which for whatever reason, is right by the airport. I hiked a trail called Sal's bend, 3.8 miles of hilly terrain marked by orange circles. I believe I walked Hogan there a couple of times back in 2002 and 2003.

9) My main Sunday meal was at The Pit in downtown Raleigh. They boast that they serve Carolina whole hog BBQ. I started with a back porch tea with sweet tea vodka, raspberry liquer, and lemonade. I thought seven bucks was a good deal until it came out in a tiny sipping glass. I ordered a double combo with chopped BBQ (pork), brisket, beans, and fried okra. The pork was amazingly tender. I'm not a big fan of the vinegar based eastern sauce, but I could taste the apple cider flavor in it and it worked very well. The brisket was fine, but could have used more seasoning. I give them for having both eastern and western BBQ sauce at the table. The sides were just fine. I'd never had fried okra, but this was really good. Although if you deep fry a vegetable, does it still count as a vegetable? The beans were decent, but not good enough to where I'd need to order them every time. Their banana pudding had nothing on mine. Too much meringue, not enough banana flavor. But for $28, it was a good deal.

10) I passed through Cary, where I used to live. I saw the old house in Cary that I lived in for two years. It's strange, I didn't remember any of the roads to get there, though Google had me take the back entrance. I didn't even remember the buildings were three levels high. I also went by Camp Canine where we used to take Hogan for overnight boarding. It definitely felt nostalgic, but I still felt like a stranger. There were only a couple of roads and street corners I remembered vividly: Maynard, High House, and Cary parkway.

Bonus: I took an earlier flight home than anticipated, and landed about three hours ahead of schedule. But going through security in Raleigh,  a weird thing happened. I went through the full body scanner, the one where you look like you're under arrest. They held me up for two minutes. They asked to see my left ankle. Of all things, my left ankle. So I lifted the bottom of my jeans, exposing the New York Jets sock and I was on my way into the terminal.

10 quick ones

1) Who decided that a cucumber was not a vegetable? All my life, I thought cucumbers were vegetables. Seriously, who makes the decision on what is a fruit and what is a vegetable? What is the standard?

2) Let's stay with the food thing for a little bit. On New Year's Eve, I'm going to the Chicago Chop House for the first time in maybe 15 years. They have one of the best steaks I've ever had and I love that the customer has the option to order it wet aged or dry aged. I'm definitely thinking a bone in Kansas City strip is in the works.

3) I finally had to cut ties with a friend I've known for 6 years. We can disagree on political issues and all of that stuff. But when somebody goes bashing people who believe in God and also insists that people can't control certain things, particularly sexual preference, I just have to draw the line. I just can't respect that type of propaganda or anybody who would dare spread it.

4) I definitely plan on seeing Manchester by the Sea this weekend. I went to college about five minutes from there and I have a feeling this film will bring back a couple of memories.

5) I have a new shower installed in my bathroom and I must say it looks beautiful. It's bright white with a small lip, so I don't have to deal with a bathtub anymore. The one downside is the water pressure is nowhere near as good as it used to be. I don't even have a dial to turn to get different levels pressure. I wonder if $3,500 was really worth it. Then again it's actually draining, so maybe it was.

6) I can't believe I'm going to a church where the freaking bass player wears the Chicago Cubs hat every week. I can't believe they actually allow people to wear that crap on stage. It's inappropriate and it's distracting. And I would say that about any sports team. You just don't do that in church.

7) It feels so strange being home for Christmas. This is the first Christmas season in maybe six years where I have not traveled anywhere. And without having a whole lot to do and not having my actual computer around, it's tough to be able to do much except work around the house. The first of four days off was filled with crawling through traffic and dealing with technical issues with my computer and TV, not exactly a day of fun.

8) I hadn't been bowling and maybe a year-and-a-half, and on my first game out last Sunday night, I bowled a 188. I don't think I've ever had a higher score than that in my life. Unfortunately, it's not going to work out with a girl, but when does it ever work out?

9) As I get older, the idea of falling in love and getting married becomes more and more unlikely to me. The whole process of finding somebody, meeting somebody, and trying to not lose them is just so exhausting. And as screwed up as marriage has become in our culture now, I  have to wonder if long-term relationships are really ever meant to work out anymore. Put it this way, it seems you have to have a ton of money just to attract anybody halfway decent nowadays. And it's freaking pitiful.

10) I'm so thankful I discovered the song "Pray For You". After a certain redhead got engaged to an ugly fat slob last week, it is such a fitting song.

Hideous customer service

After today, I don't know who has the worst customer service: Best Buy or AT&T or Dell.

Part of me just wants to let that sentence stand by itself and think about happier things during this holiday season. But with all the difficulties that I have had getting my computer working again it is still weighing my mind down. And since suffering breeds creativity, why not just do this?

So here's what it comes down to. On Friday we had a new carpet installed in the basement to cover up the cement floor. And I must say the gray look with the dark blue spots. It looks really classy and contemporary. But part of what had to be done was all the electronics had to be unplugged and strewn out all over the floor. So when I got home on Friday night, we had no Wi-fi, we had no Direct TV, and we had no working desktop computer.

Now after work and playing bingo with then yelp crowd, I did not get in the door till at least 10 o'clock at night. I stayed up till 1 in the morning trying to figure out all these cords that seemingly had no place to go into. It was like having a jigsaw puzzle at about 30 extra pieces that you have absolutely no use for. I did call AT&T and we did get the Wi-Fi working and I was also able to figure out the DirecTV on my own. But the issue was my desktop computer which I've only had for about 5 months. I would turn it on and within a few seconds, I would get an error message that the power cord was not supplying enough power to run the machine. Then it would just shut down by itself. After about the eighth or ninth time with different chords hooked up and then disconnected from it, I knew it was a serious problem. Exhausted and fed up and after fight number one with my mother, I went to bed.

The next morning, I went through phone calls with AT&T, Dell, DirecTV, and Geek Squad in the span of two and a half hours. The only people who were really helpful were Direct TV, and maybe that was because that was the one customer service rep I talked to whose first language was freaking English. The Dell people were just outrageous. We brought the computer out of box, meaning that somebody else had purchased it, and then returned it, and then we picked it up. However Dell did not recognize me as the owner of the computer. Essentially, they implied that the computer did not belong to us. What that meant was Best Buy never transferred ownership to me. The consequence? Our one-year warranty was not recognized and any parts I was going to get I would have to purchase.

And then with AT&T, they really couldn't come up with any ideas about what was going on or what the real problems were. Although they did want to send a technician to our house and charge us $149 to have anything like that besides the service. And that was after it took 15 minutes just to get a real person on the phone, who of course barely spoke English. And somehow I don't think his real name is Alvin.

The DirecTV guy at least got me figuring out what parts when where and the hookups that made the most sense. We eventually determined through trial and error that the problem had to have been the power adapter that goes from the wall into the computer. I called Geek Squad and they invited me to come in for an appointment and so I did thatat 1:20. An older gentleman named Bruce looked at it and he noticed that the pin from the plug had gotten stuck inside the computer, so the plug itself was not supplying sufficient power, even though I was definitely using the correct words. Since they did not have a replacement battery available, they sent me to a battery store up the road to get one. This Battery and Bulbs store had several 90 watt computer chargers in stock. However, none of the plugs fit into the back of my computer; they were too big for mine. So then I went back to Best Buy, feeling more annoyed, as I felt I was getting a little bit of a run around at this point.

They advised me to look for a universal charger in the store, but they were none left. The only universal charger they had in stock was a laptop charger, and that was never going to work on my computer. They even started looking through the Dell website trying to find the part that would work. They couldn't find anything except a 130 watt charger. The concern I had with that was I didn't know if 130 would be too powerful for my computer. But they assured me it would be okay. And keep in mind even though I had mentioned I had purchased my computer within the year and should have had a free one-year warranty, they still could didn't honor it. At the end of the day, they did not do anything for me. So I went home to contemplate my next move. Best Buy's Computer Service as well as Geek Squad's absolutely sucked.

My mother ended up calling Geek Squad and Dell as well, only to realize that they were no more helpful with her than they were with me. Now she tends to be a lot more aggressive and demanding than I am. But we have been fighting enough about all these electronic issues during the day and when she realize just how bad and unhelpful these people were, she started to understand the challenges that I was facing. Eventually we ended up doing a live chat with a Dell customer service rep and ordered a new power cord that is scheduled to arrive around Wednesday of next week. So we're talking about 5 days without computer access.

What's so frustrating about this, is that I plan on starting to apply for jobs across the country. And my documents are all on that computer and now I can't access any of them. I don't know what God has in store but I'm guessing it's just not my time to apply right now. Hopefully he's closing a door to open up a new one. But as I spend more and more time in Chicago, I realize more and more that I am absolutely ready to get out of here.

10 sad tunes

No matter how much pain, hurt, or frustration people give me, I'm thankful for other outputs. One of the greatest is music. These are ten of the barely known songs I turn up loud when I'm in need of a little hope. Some of them are sad and that's the way it has to be. Some people need happy music to lift them up. It doesn't work for me. I need to express mhow I feel in the moment. Songs like these do it for me.

1) Lost Stars-Adam Levine 
"God tell us why youth is wasted on the young."

2) More Rooms-William Bell
"Take a look out the picture window at the withered yard outside. Take a walk to the nursery where the babies never cried."

3) Somebody Lied-Ricky Van Shelton
"Well, don't worry, it wasn't me. Just someone whose world was torn in two. Someone who looks a lot like me. And loved someone like you."

4) Still Waters Run Deep-Bee Gees
"I see the angel and the devil in your heart. I confess, either one is my addiction. And where you're leadin' me I don't have the will to fight. Out of the darkness and into the light."

5) Promises-Randy Travis
"Back at home, in bed, she's crying. For her love for me is dying. But she'll pray I make it safely through the night. When the morning sun starts showing, to her bedside I'll be going. And she'll hold me while I face the morning light."

6) Colder Weather-Zac Brown Band
"She'd trade Colorado if he'd take her with him. Closes the door before the winter lets the cold in. And wonders if her love is storng enough to make him stay. She's answered by the taillights shining through the window pane."

7) Mental Revenge-Jamey Johnson
"I couldn't make you love me. You only made me blue. So all in all if the curtain should fall, I hope that it falls on you."

8) Dreaming Again-Jim Croce
"I'm not the same, can you blame me, is it hard to understand? I can't forget. You cant't change me. I am not that kind of man."

9) On a Bus To St. Cloud-Trisha Yearwood
"In a church in downtown Nw Orleans, I got down on my knees and prayed. And I wept in the arms of Jesus for the choice you made."

10) The Beast In Me-Johnny Cash
"The beast in me is caged by frail and fragile bars. Restless by day, and by night rants and rages at the stars. God help the beast in me."

Back in the NY groove, part 2

I started the day by taking the 6 to the 7 at Grand Central. I can't recall ever taking the 7 line when I wasn't going to see a Mets game. But this time, I took it all the way to the west to the Hudson Yards. My plan was going to be walking the High Line, which is an elevated walkway on the lower west side of Manhattan. It was sunny and maybe 40 degrees out. I took some pictures of the city when my hands actually felt like gripping my tablet. After maybe ten minutes, my walk was stopped short. All of a sudden, the path just seemed to stop. I guess part of the High Line is under construction. I'll put it this way, I planned on walking from 30th Street down to around 13th Street. I got to 34th. Not quite the length of a morning walk I had in mind.

Since my next step was Madison Square Garden, it suddenly hit me that I may as well just walk east about five blocks. I had an extra hour to kill so I got a smoothie at Jamba Juice (at $9.00 for a medium, it was embarrassing). I was anxious to find a place to charge my phone and sit down, and Penn Station offers neither unless one has a train ticket. And they don't hvae Wi-Fi either. Way to go Penn Station. 

Around 12, I met up with my uncle and we headed inside. I headed right to the Carnegie Deli stand for a pastrami sandwich. It was enjoyable, but it just wasn't as good as Katz's hand sliced meats. It was Kid's Day at the Garden, so I figured I should curtail my yelling. I did that pretty well and was especially proud of myself for never using profanity. Our seats were in the second row of Section 419, the new blue seats. The Rangers were playing the Hurricanes and they did play pretty sluggish, particularly in the first two periods. But Chris Kreider scored twice and Derek Stepan registered three points in a 4-2 victory.  

After I said goodbye to Brian, I decided to go to Cafe 31, since I knew a few people who'd be there. Two guys I knew were having a vicious screaming match over politics. It wasn't just an argument, it was a bonafide cuss out. Two minutes of that and it was over, but it was a very tense situation. I said hello to Danielle, who I rarely communicate with, but it was nice that she gave me a hug anyway. The problem was everyone was in their own clicks and I felt totally out of my element. I tried two other pubs, but I couldn't get to the bars for a drink and I just felt totally isolated, so I decided to just leave the neighborhood.

I walked south on Broadway through Chelsea. Somehow, I thought of the girl who I went out with two weeks ago. Probably because she has the same name. Corny? Yeah, I agree. Anyway, I was thinking I'd go to Mighty Quinn's for BBQ but I decided I wasn't really in the mood for that kind of food. I kept going down 7th Avenue until I got to Spring Street. I walked east through the bustling Soho neighborhood until I reached Little Italy. I decided to go to Lombardi's, America's first recognized pizzeria. I had been there briefly during the prior summer, when I got to try a slice during a walking food tour through Little Italy. They make their pizzas in a coal oven, which gets the oven extra hot and adds that smoky flavor that you just can't get in a wood or brick oven. I had a 40 minute wait, which I didn't mind. I found a quiet local Tapas restaurant bar and had two beers at the bar: another toasted lager and a Stella. The latter was for the simple reason that it was their happy hour beer. 

Back in Lombardi's, I ordered a 14 inch sausage and roasted pepper pizza. I admit I really wanted to try the white clam pizza. But for $35, that was absolutely laughable. Never mind that I wanted to add bacon to it, which would have cost another $4. I drank a Yeungling, followed by a Brooklyn lager. I guess I was feeling pretty jolly. At the table next to me, sat an attractive lady maybe in her mid 30s who appeared to be of Latina descent. She suddenly spilled her drink in my direction. I picked up the orange and cherry off of the floor and I joked if she wanted my attention, she could have just said hello. She was from Houston and was with her daughter. That pretty much prevented any chance of me asking to spend time with her. We did talk about NY and travel for a little bit, but I just didn't feel it was my place to ask to tag along. They left before I was done. As she left, she shook my hand patted me on the shoulder. I just wish she wasn't wearing a glove so I could have actually felt her hand. I left around 7:45 and my plan had been to go to Howl at the Moon, a dueling piano bar in midtown. But the more I thought about it, I just didn't have any desire to spend more money, especially if I didn't have company. So I just took the hour long 6 ride back to Pelham.

Back in the NY groove, part 1

I had arrived in New York late Thursday night so I could start early on Friday. On the bus and then the train to the Bronx, I ended up in a lengthy conversation with a Panamanian man from Houston and a female filmmaker from San Francisco. We talked about travel, politics, art, and other topics for maybe 90 minutes. Those are just the moments that I walk away from and feeling that I can really connect well with people. Just makes me smile and feel that the world isn't always such a dark place.

So it was Friday morning and I walked over to the Buhre Ave station. When I saw twenty people huddled in the waiting area, I knew something strange was going on. Turns out there was a 45 minute delay because we didn't have a conductor to drive the train towards Manhattan.

It was a long trip to Brooklyn, as I took the 6 to the F, into the Red Hook section of Brooklyn. It's very urbanized, not as rough as it used to be. My grandfather worked there for decades and is known as the birthplace for wrestling legend Taz. I walked past chop shops and dilapidated factory buildings to reach my first destination: Defonte's sandwich shop. When I saw the TV show where Guy Fieri visited this place, I knew I'd be visiting as well. I ordered the rare roast beef, homemade mozzarella, roasted peppers, and fried eggplant. It was one of the absolute best sandwiches ever. But that Italian bread was what made it so memorable. Soft as a pillow on the inside, crunchy on the outside with a heaping of sesame seeds. This is the kind of bread that is just so hard to find outside New York.

As I was wolfing it down along with a bowl of cucumber salad, I got a phone call. My sort of friend Peter asked if I could meet up with him on his work break. So I climbed three escalators, and hopped on the F back into Manhattan near Bryant Park. We walked around for maybe a half hour and he spent most of the time taking about his exploits with women. Apparently, he's currently messaging 26 women. I would have trouble managing six. I know I would be sending messages to women that were intended for someone else.

I explored Grand Central station and their holiday mart with foreign eats and expensive shops. Then, I headed west on 42nd Street to the Mets clubhouse shop. I picked up a few small items, like a car decal and luggage tag. In the mood for dessert, I continued west into Times Square. And there was no other place to go but Junior's for a slice of the world's best cheesecake. I was going to go with blueberry, but I saw they had some pumpkin cheesecake left. I knew that would be my choice.  It was really good, but it needed some moisture like whipped cream or caramel. I like the pineapple topping more for that very reason. 

While in Times Square, I walked past a breakdancing show. The climax was when one of the guys somersault jumped over five guys. It was cool, but they spent fifteen minutes building up. The line at one points was eight or nine people, so to see him only jump over five people was something of a letdown.

I headed back to Bryant Park to explore their expansive Christmas mart. There were so many shops, dozens to be conservative. One of the most memorable was the one that sold metallic art. The artist had created sculptures made of different pieces of metal, including screws and wires. And the results were remarkable; he had projects ranging from Darth Vader to drummers to golfers. Also, there were shops for puzzles, ornaments, spices, paintings, jewelry, books, and just about anything else imaginable. I took care of my mother's Christmas shopping, as I bought here a foot scrub and foot lotion. I have to admit I felt a little out of my element as I shopped for beauty products, but I thin I may a wise investment. Mom would be expecting a gift certificate from the nail salon, so I think this will surprise her. After shopping and passing by food stands I wanted to try (the fried chicken in the waffle cone and the donut stand looked especially good), I headed over to the bar and ordered a Blue Point toasted lager, which is always a priority when I'm in New York. The highlight of the night was the Christmas tree at Bryant Park would be getting lit up while several famous figure skaters would be performing on the rink. Kimmie Meisner and Johnny Weir were the two most well-known. But I decided to leave. There were most places to explore.

It was starting to get dark out, so I made a visit to the NHL store to stock up on some Rangers merch. 

The trip was fruitful as I walked out with a blue Henrik Lundqvist pima cotton T-shirt, a drawstring bag with back support and two zippered compartments, and a commemorative 90th anniversary Rangers hockey puck. Plus since I used my Discover card, I got a 20% discount. In essence, I got the bag for free. 

My next planned stop was going to be Rockefeller center, but I took a detour. On my way to see the famous tree, I passed by the Nintendo store, which I had no idea existed. I went inside and it felt like was ten years old again. They had Nintendo systems set up, stuffed animals of famous video game characters, shorts and hats depicting old school game consoles. I'm amazed these stores aren't in a mall in every major city in America. I played a little Mario Kart and cruised to victory as Toad. So then I moved onto Rockefeller center. The Christmas tree looked nothing short of spectacular. I looked for people taking selfies and offered to take their pictures for them. Two ladies took me up on my offer. 

As I tried to work through the jammed streets around Rockefeller, I heard loud Chrsitmas music playing and a series of oohs and aahs. It was coming from the light show at Saks Fifth Avenue. They had a light show happening on the front wall that was synchronized with Christmas tunes. I only caught the last five minutes, but it was such a spectacular sight. There truly is nothing quite like Christmas in New York City. I also saw the remarkable sight that is St. Patrick's Cathedral. Despite not being Catholic, I am very much into exploring classic churches so I went inside. Little did I know mass was going on, but there were many people standing in the back of the building and taking pictures. 

I got away from the crowds by walking east on 51st Street and I then took the 6 train back to the Bronx. I thought Jimmy and I were going to munch on sausage pizza and watch ROH Final Battle. That was not to be. Gina's alleged hot date fell apart. So I guess Jimmy, Peter, and myself were her consolation prize. We drive into Scarsdale and had Chinese food. I had General Tso's chicken with fried rice. I think it's funny that it came with three pieces of lightly steamed broccoli. I don't know if that qualifies as a vegetable or a garnish. I don't even think I knew that the man who created the dish actually passed away that very day. So General, here's to ya. After that was done, we went back to the house. Peter went to work for his graveyard dishwasher shift and Gina, Jimmy, and I watched Final Battle, even if we missed the first two matches. To see Broken Matt Hardy debut and to then see Kyle O'Reilly win the ROH World title were amazing. And the surprise of the night was the three-way TV title match, considering I'd never seen Marty Scurll, Dragon Lee, or Will Ospreay wrestle before.

It's real

So how did I spend Thanksgiving? Well, it started off with throwing out a bunch of stuff in the basement that I don't need anymore. I also boxed my DVD collection, my bobbleheads, and most of my pictures from the basement and my bedroom.

This move really is going to happen and I'm strongly believing it will happen in 2017. I can't put a date on it. I don't know exactly where I'm going. I don't know where I'll be working.

I have lived in this house in St Charles IL since July of 2003. Over 13 years and I've had a lot of memories. I've owned two beloved dogs here, I did my Master's degree here, I've made love to women here, I've played a lot of music here, I've ate and drank a lot here. I remember the games. The high of seeing the Jets beat the Patriots in the playoffs and seeing the Rangers make the Stanley Cup Finals. And I was here for the Mets breaking my heart in the 2006 NLCS and the Rangers lose several heartbreaking playoff series. The loss to Buffalo is the one that sticks out the most.

But I think about myself personally. I've had great conversations with people in here, both in person, on the phone, and through social media, and I've grown so much as a man. I've had some of my worst moments come out here through verbal altercations with loved ones.

I've lived in five houses, not factoring in college. I can't particularly say that one means the most to me. But this one in St. Charles would either be #1 or #2. Edison NJ, I lived there until I was 15. Sure it's my roots, I can't remember as much of it as I wish I could. Wheaton IL, I only had a year there. My most vivid memories are watching TV when Princess Diana passed away, trying to mow that hilly lawn, and the raspberries growing in the backyard. Winfield IL has some personal meaning. On and off, I had four years there. My surprise 18th birthday party was one of the better days of my life. I remember Bible studies, Hogan running all over the house, and the island dining area in the kitchen. Cary NC, well, I only had a little over one year there and of that one year, I was only there around 3 months.

My hope is by my 36th birthday in July, I'll be gone. But we shall see. It's going to be an interesting couple of months. Looks like I have a resume to polish and then send out.

Costa Rica, part 6

Onto Wednesday, our final full day in Costa Rica. The plan was to wake up around 5:15 to see the sun rise outside our room. Well, when I started to rise and could see a hint of light peeping through the curtain, I knew that plan was done. I actually got out of bed around 7:30.

We drove to Tamarindo and walked down the beach. One of the things that made this speech interesting was how long the space of wet sand was. It really seemed that some waves travelled really far up the sand and some just really didn't go anywhere.

We spent about a half hour settling on the same refusing vendors offering us coconuts, duck calls, and massages. Interesting combination, to be sure. We then snuck onto the Diara hotel pool property. Sneaking on only required climbing a rock wall about one foot high. I tried to get two towels, but without a hotel towel card, that wasn't happening.

We sat under the palabra bar and preferred a couple drinks while playing farkle. 

I'm actually going to stop for a minute and just go on a segue here. I'm sitting on a couch on my screened-in balcony and the sun has set about 30 minutes ago. There's something so peaceful about the ruggedness and the strength of these waves crashing against sand not too far from where I sit right now. That sound represents freedom, power, and action. I feel very close with nature in this moment and very much at peace as I hear the strength of that water. It's a beautiful thing and something I can never have in Chicago.

Ok, now back to my post. I'm now 6-0 against mom in farkle, which is remarkable considering she's such a good game player. I guess she's more into Yahtzee. We wanted to have lunch in the town, but only new restaurant seems to be open: a pizza place and another joint called Walter's, which didn't really excite us that much. Though we knew we would spend some money at the Marriott, we knew the quality would be wonderful. So we decided to head back to the hotel.

In the mood for something unique, we went to the one open restaurant on the property. We started with a jumbo vodka shrimp cocktail with mango ketchup, horseradish sauce, fried plantains, and avocado ice cream. I'm not a big shrimp cocktail, as it usually lacks flavor. But there were enough elements where it was really enjoyable. I had a pan seared jerk red snapper with caramelized plantains, Caribbean peppers, and rice and beans. The spiciness of the peppers was very apparent, but the sweetness of the plantains helped to counter. It was a wonderful dish, I just needed a little more sauce. Mom made a great choice by ordering the grilled octopus. I'm not even sure what else was in it, but it looked like a snake. But as I tasted the octopus, I could taste the flavors of lemon, white wine, fresh herbs, and garlic. I can't say I'll be eating octopus anytime soon, because I'm not sure who can make it correctly in the States. But this was an absolutely wonderful dish.

As the train began falling, I realize the odds of ping pong and volleyball happening were not very high. So I spent some time reading in the balcony and watched the sunset behind the clouds, with my bare feet buried in the wet sand. I eventually went to the gym for about an hour. Meanwhile, mom spent most of the afternoon at the spa. I have to admit, I would really like to try a volcanic mud wrap treatment, but I don't think I want to spend $150 to get it.

For dinner, we went to Tamarine, the Asian fusion restaurant at the hotel. I wanted to sit on the balcony of the restaurant, since it overlooks the pool, which at that time of night had colored lights on. With the leaves in the palm trees blowing in the night time wind, it created a wonderful atmosphere for a nice final meal. We split vegetarian egg rolls, a wonderful fresh tuna salad, and a bowl of Japanese fried rice. It was a very nice dinner, but as much as I love fried rice, there is no fried rice in the world worth $22.

For my last morning, I had one last workout, before hopping in the steam room and sauna. The travel was smooth as we got both our flights without a problem. We wound up getting home right at midnight.

I don't know if I would go back to Costa Rica, as I'd like a little more structure on my vacations. But I'm definitely open to experiencing some more adventure when I do go away. I'm certainly glad I got to spend six days there and experience a different country and culture. Pura Vida!