Europe, part 5

So it was onto day #2, counting full cruise days anyway. There were no excursions, it's just a full day of sailing to Barcelona. I decided I would do as little as possible on this day. In my day to day life, I'm so driven by the clock that I wanted to spend as little time as possible thinking about the current time or where I had to be at any given moment.

 

After what happened the previous evening in Schooner's, I had no desire to say anything to my mother. I dressed for the gym and left quietly. I did thirty minutes on the elliptical before lifting weights for maybe 20. I was especially pleased to see that the gym had an assisted chin up/dip machine, it's one of my favorite machines because it works so many muscles in the upper body. Unfortunately, they can be hard to find, even at a decent gym.

 

I then headed down to the main dining room for breakfast. The reason I went there is because I had access to fresh orange juice with my beverage package and I was not going to let another morning pass by without it. The omelet station was running and I ordered one with spinach, mushrooms, tomatoes, and cheese. I also got an extra cheese omelet, regular bacon, English bacon, breakfast potatoes, and a small waffle.

 

When I returned to the room, my mother had left. I guess she had a nail appointment that morning and had already began that. So I made my way to the pool. Even though it was mostly sunny outside, the wind was howling, resulting in the upper deck getting closed. The other consequence was most every chair had been taken. So I had to take this one chair that didn't fold down and only tanned my front side. I sat in the sun for several hours drinking a pina colada and mojito before grabbing lunch.

Those crazy winds didn't really ever let up. I stayed for the World's Sexiest Man contest, but I was really there for the pool volleyball afterwards. By the end of the contest, water was blowing out of the pool and coming towards me.  I don't mean spray in the air, I'm talking about the entire deck getting soaked. I didn't even stick around for pool volleyball, there just wouldn't have been any way to play.

So with no shoes and no shirt on, I rushed back to the room, showered, and went to dinner with mom. More strawberry cheesecake! Plus a rice ball and long prawns with spinach and crab mashed potatoes. We also snuck in a game of Scrabble, which I hadn't played in maybe ten years.

 

Not sure what event to check out, we returned to the room, but I quickly grew restless and left. I went up to the outdoor Central Park section on the eighth floor and heard a trio playing smooth jazz. Keyboard, electric guitar, and saxophone. One guy from Texas, one from Argentina, and one from the Ukraine, how random is that?!

 

While I was listening to the music, a couple walked by me that I can't get out of my mind. The girl was completely made up like a Hollywood starlet, elegant red dress, white lace laying over her shoulders, her make up took plenty of time, hair up and carefully styled. Her man/boy, on the other hand, he didn't take as long to get ready. He had on a blue oxford shirt. which was hardly long enough to reach his belt. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. His shoes were beach shoes, the pull on kind. And the kicker... he was not wearing pants. He was wearing dark boxer shorts with little white sailboats printed all over them. I mean... did he lose a bet? Did he forget all his pants? And did she even care?

 

I would have stayed longer, but it was getting pretty cold out, so I decided to venture inside. Then I went to a stand up comedy show, which was pretty good. Not outstanding, but there were a few good laughs. That got me out at ten pm, just in time for the informal singles meet up. I walked over to the Rising Tide, which is a bar that sits on an elevator, it literally goes up and down between the fifth and eighth floors. There were maybe 15 people inside... all of them at least 45-50 years old, except maybe one guy around my age. I checked the schedule, thinking maybe I'd stumbled into the AARP event. In fact, if I closed my eyes, I'm pretty sure I could smell Ben Gay. Not worth hanging around so, it was off to Copper and Fiddle for a beer. Finally it was back to Schooner's for another piano night till 1 am. I requested "Bad Bad Leroy Brown" and "Tired of Being Alone," as it turned out Andrew kind of knew the latter. "Amazing Grace," "She Believes In Me," and "Piano Man" were some of the other favorites.

Europe, part 4

I think I need to make a medical appointment for mom. For her incessant snoring. I slept through most of the night and then... all of a sudden, it sounded like someone started mowing the lawn. I checked my phone and at least it was 5:15, only 15 minutes before I had scheduled the wakeup call. So I got dressed and headed to the gym, only to find out that it didn't open until 6. So instead, I ran 3 miles on the track that surrounds the perimeter of the ship on Deck 5.

 

After a shower and breakfast, we were ready for our excursion to Pompeii and the Amalfi coast. Probably about 25 people on this particular tour. We first stopped at a place that makes cameos, which is essentially art made out of local shells. It was very unique art, but after five minutes, we were all ready to go.

 

I was able to see Mount Vesuvius from the bus, and I couldn't help but wonder if I could get a plate of chicken vesuvio in the area. And then onto Pompeii. We spent about 20 minutes exploring the local outdoor tourist market. One thing about other countries, they really try to make you buy merchandise. Mexico has some really pushy people, but Italy isn't far behind. But what was strange for me personally was that three different sales guys thought I spoke Spanish. I don't know what country I look like I'm from, but I guess it's Spain or somewhere in South America.

 

We arrived in Pompeii pretty early,  before the ancient city even opened. For the historical significance, we visited the famed ruins of Pompeii. It involved a lot of careful walking on uneven stones. They were certainly interesting to visit, but after an hour or so, it felt like I was just seeing the same thing again and again. Broken walls, limestone mortar, tightly crammed rooms. If I'm honest, lunch was a bit of a disappointment. We literally had no options. A fine mixed salad, creamy cannelloni with spinach, and a bit of lemon cake. I don't even like ricotta cheese! But somehow I managed to finish the pasta. On a bright note, each table got its own bottle of Italian red wine. I probably drank half of my table's bottle. Next thing I knew, I was passed out on the bus. And I do mean out.

 

I think a half hour later I woke up in Sorrento to view their amazing coastline. This was one of the most treacherous drives I have ever experienced. We were driving in a huge bus on a winding two lane mountain road. On at least ten occasions, an incoming car had to brake and back up so that we could pass through. I have no idea how Mario, our bus driver, was able navigate turns that a Prius shouldn't have even attempted. And we were able to see the Sea of Napoli and the town of Sorrento.

Our first stop on the coast was the Capri limoncello factory. The only other place I'd tried this potent little concoction was in Argentina. This one was 32% alcohol. I was surprised to find out that the beverage is made with lemon peels and no lemon juice. The sample was certainly good, but a little sour.

The Amalfi coast is an absolute gem. The sights are breathtaking between the mountains, the sea, the colorful villages, the homes and hotels right on the sides of the mountain. I've never seen a tapestry quite like this part of Italy. And they feature numerous restaurants that have earned Michelin stars. But my gosh, to drive it is unreal. Almost no parking to be found. Gas is almost eight bucks a gallon. Only one road to drive, so the traffic is constant.

 

We eventually made it to downtown Amalfi. No doubt this packed little town had the nicest merchandise I'd seen in Italy up to this point. I purchased a hand painted olive oil holder/pourer that depicts the town of Amalfi. I've never owned one of these before and this was just the kind of town from which I wanted to take a souvenir. Plus it's unique and something that can't just be purchased randomly on Amazon or Ebay.

 

We grabbed a quick plate of spaghetti and clams and then we boarded a speedboat to Salerno. Counting the 45 minute drive back to Naples, we were gone from the ship a total of nine hours.

The dress code for dinner was formal. Now I was not about to bring a suit in my bag as I knew it was heavy and it would get wrinkled. But I had my black slacks and a black collar-free button down shirt along with my black dress shoes I wear to work. I put them on and went to dinner alone. Looking at the empty chair across from me, it made me long for companionship. Of course I would have liked my mother to join me. I don't know where she went after we got back. But I couldn't help but visualize a woman who I could love, and would love me, and I could take these kinds of trips with. The more time goes on, the more I doubt that it will ever happen. Maybe LB could be it. But I don't know, I think the long distance may be messing with me. As much as I like traveling, I don't know if cruising is something I would want to do alone when I'm surrounded by couples.

 

In regards to dinner, I was quite impressed. I had a Chinese waitress and we talked for maybe ten minutes about the different places we've visited. She mentioned her trip to Capri that day and I told her about Amalfi. I started my meal with a nice glass of Chilean red wine. My appetizer was a crab cake with an apple slaw. Then although I considered ordering the lamb shank with roasted garlic mashed potatoes, I had prime rib with broccoli and potato croquettes. Really, really good, I just wish I could have had horseradish to spice it up. Dessert was strawberry cheesecake and I was definitely impressed, and I don't say that about cheesecake very often. Not too much topping, but just enough to flavor it. The cheesecake had that little bit of tartness to it as well to liven it up. I will definitely get it again.

 

"Flight" was a musical about the history of aviation, starting in the present and working backwards to the early 1900s. Probably the highlight was the reenactment of the Wright brothers' first flight in Kitty Hawk. The lowlight was the six year old girl who wouldn't stop screaming three seats down from me. I don't believe spanking kids is an ideal method of discipline... but for this girl, she deserved it. And I'd have been the first to get in line with the belt.

 

After the show ended, I decided to drop into Schooner's to listen to Andrew play the piano. I took a seat at the bar and began downing mojitos. I requested "How Deep is Your Love" and right towards the end, my mother showed up. I knew she'd been drinking as I had and I wanted some time alone. I don't remember much of the five minute conversation. I do remember not saying anything critical. But I remember so well that lead in. She has a way of setting you up when she's about to say something hard.

 

"This cruise has hit me like a bomb. And now I finally realize it. Not only do I realize that you don't love me..."

 

I interrupted right there. It was so selfish, so nonsensical, and so ridiculous, that I had to cut the conversation off. I don't know if that was the alcohol or a personality problem. I couldn't bear to hear one more word. I told her this was insulting and I didn't need to be part of this conversation. I got up and walked off.

 

The Perfect Couple game show. I admit I'm always hoping there will be a question so awkward, so embarrassing, so revealing, that it will inevitably lead to a breakup. Is that bad of me? Honestly, as hurt as I've been and as I've messed over as I've been, it's hard for me to not be bitter. Copper and Fiddle pub for a couple of beers and that was the end of my night.

Europe, part 3

The train ride itself was pretty relaxing. I played a lot of music, including "When in Rome" by Nickel Creek. Getting to the boat from the train station, well, that was a tremendous pain. There were no working elevators to go downstairs and then upstairs. So I had to lug 70 pounds of suitcases downstairs, then through a 15 foot long tunnel, and then finally upstairs. My mom kept telling me not to run over the woman in front of me. Like it was my intention to take her down. Anyway we tried to get Euros for the bus to get to the shuttle bus, and no, that's not a misprint. After a little pleading and reasoning, we got the ride. Then we were the last two to board the shuttle bus, and I had to hold on because there were no seats to be found.

 

Check in was pretty simple. We did give in and we got the deluxe drink package, which includes the alcohol. I hesitated to do it because I didn't know if I'd drink enough to justify the price. But after a  Mai Tai, and sampling a mojito, and seeing the ridiculous prices, it wasn't a hard choice.

 

The Symphony of the Seas is just about the largest boat on the Royal Caribbean cruise line, not the longest, but the biggest in terms of gross tonnage. I'm particularly looking forward to the zip line. I've never had a balcony room on a cruise ship before. But I'm glad mom upgraded from an interior balcony, where we'd have a view of another room to an exterior balcony where we could view the ocean. The Central Park feature on the eighth floor is a nice addition with fine restaurants and shops. In other words, more opportunities to spend a lot of money.

 

Mom and I triumphed in a disco trivia contest, as we correctly identified 14 of 15 songs. Thankfully, three of them were Bee Gees tracks, so that made me useful. I also hung around for Motown night and spent a few minutes in the jazz club before calling it a night.

Europe, part 2

Telling time is not as simple as looking at my phone. I haven't owned a watch in eight years and I have no desire to get one again. I can mentally add six hours to my phone time, which will leave me second guessing myself, or I'll have to use my iPod, which doesn't update automatically.

We thought about getting the breakfast buffet at the Marriott for $18, but we passed on that in order to make sure we got to the Vatican on time. We knew we had a train station across the street from our hotel, but it took ten minutes of walking underground to reach it. And we regretted not converting some of our money to Euros, and not just for tips. But the ticket vending machine only was accepting cash. I mean, how is there not a machine that accepts cards? So we nearly began walking through another side of the tunnel to the street, when we saw a ticket booth being manned by actual human beings.

 

Three stops and five minutes of walking later, we stood in the shadow of the high ancient stone walls of the Vatican. Even though I'm not Catholic, there is some of it in my history and lineage, so I feel a small part of that was for my paternal family. There were dozens of tours going on, plenty of noise and not much room for walking. There were about 15 people in the group total and we all got head sets so we could hear the guide speak to us. We learned about the history of the Sistine Chapel before working our way through many museums, all connected together, which had some of the most remarkable paintings and sculptures I've seen. I also didn't expect to see so many ceilings so carefully painted, in addition to the Chapel. We have Raphael to thank for that.

 

To see the Sistine Chapel from the outside, it looked a little like the inspiration for our Capitol buildings with its classical gothic dome. I was really disappointed we couldn't take pictures inside the chapel with its iconic ceiling. I guess if it was permitted, then people would stay inside for hours at a time to capture all those details, but then again, they'd all be in vain. The work of Michelangelo is so intricate, so detailed, so meticulous. Photography could not capture all that was done in that rectangular room over 500 years ago. Robin Williams said it right in Good Will Hunting. I guess you just have to experience it.

 

The Basilica of St Peter was tremendous in its own way. It's the largest church I've ever seen. It may be shaped like a cross,  but there are so many little parts with candles, statues, and confession booths. And I never planned to St. Peter's Square and the tomb of Pope John Paul II. I thought about all the history and dedication of these people to their faith. Though I don't understand certain Catholic beliefs and practices, I respect the people who devote themselves to that particular faith because it's not easy. And I also thought it's sad about the mistakes people have made on the inside and how that's hurt the Christian faith in general. The reassurance I have is Jesus does not change no matter how many mistakes his followers make. And that's why it's tough for me when I see people refuse to forgive others. Because who among us does not need to be forgiven for something?

 

I guess I got a little off topic. We returned to the hotel in a cab to check out and grabbed a quick lunch at a local outdoor restaurant. Pizza with artichokes, mushrooms, and prosciutto. Another amazing one,  I think that's four on this trip. The Caesar salad with chicken and peppered bacon. And this amazing chewy Italian bread... so good.

 

Then another cab to Roma Termini. The 1:42 train to Civitavecchia. Almost cruise time...

Europe, part 1

For the first time in my life, I'm on my way to Europe. I have a seven day cruise on the Mediterranean Sea, covering Rome, Naples, Marseilles, Barcelona, and Florence/Pisa. Plus an extra day in Rome on both ends of the tour, so we're looking at nine days total.

I didn't really start to feel the butterflies until I checked in for the flight to Philadelphia. I had already researched trains, printed cruise documents, and set clothes aside on top of my now overstuffed black duffel bag. But as I entered my passport information into the computer, I could feel my pulse beating. I was preparing to do something I had never done before.

I had been weighing whether to take an earlier flight to Philly. I could then hang a little longer in the Admirals Club and load up on whiskey and ginger ale. But I'm glad I didn't. I needed the extra time to sleep in after a stressful night of work at Tucano's, run five miles, clean up, and pack. I took an Uber to Norfolk, although I wasn't sure my gift card actually got used. Not the easiest app when it comes to selecting payment options.

The flight deal has been as smooth as can be expected. We pulled out of the gate at 2:20, literally on time. Sitting in the first row wasn't a major inconvenience like I usually find it; there was plenty of overhead storage space for my backpack. I began listening to a Johnny Cash biography on Audible, I'm about two hours into a 14 hour recording. Hopefully I'll get it done on this trip.

After landing in Philly, it was straight to the Admirals Club for the free guacamole bar and multiple bourbon and ginger ales. Then Chickie and Pete's for chicken cutlets. As much as I wanted to try their crab fries, I couldn't justify spending $6.75 for a single order.

Mom and I both got seats in business class, we just weren't able to sit together. This sounds so bougie, but after my second time doing this, it's hard for me to imagine flying six or more hours without having my own tv screen, a menu of food options, and a padded seat that reclines into a flat bed. God help me with what I just said, I sound so entitled, which is not something I would ever strive to become. But it's a hell of a lot more desirable than becoming a pauper.

For dinner, we started with a plate of melon and manchego cheese along with a salad of arugula, spinach, strawberries, and hearts of palm. They also had a bread basket and I happily took a sourdough and a pretzel roll. My main course was a porcini crusted filet with asparagus and a mushroom corn pudding souffle. Then came dessert. The flight attendant prepared an ice cream sundae with butterscotch, berries, whipped cream, and chopped pecans. Pretty much the perfect ending. Once dinner was over, I reclined my seat with a second glass of red wine and watched the movies Paterno and, I Tonya, before passing out in a deep sleep.

I felt a bright light shining in my face, it was a multicolored blue, white, and red light. It was that kind of light you'd see while sitting in a dentist's chair. I tried to dismiss it, my eyes refused to open, or maybe I just wouldn't allow them to open. Before long, the flight attendant woke me up to let me know breakfast was about to be served. I swear I'd only finished dinner 20 minutes prior.

We landed at 9:05 after the quickest 8 hour flight of all time. Looking outside the window, the first thing that stuck out to me was the rows of trees that almost looked handcrafted, so precise. Customs couldn't have gone smoother. Less than a half hour, it seems like it's getting easier all the time. We hopped on the Leonardo Express train which is a non stop train to downtown Rome, €15 for a 30 minute ride. From downtown, we had a 15 minute cab ride to the Marriott Grand Flora. I was starting to notice that a lot of cab drivers either don't speak English or pretend that they don't.

The check in process was a little crazy, our reservation was set for a week out. We did make a date change to the reservation, but either it didn't go through, or the operator didn't understand the change that was needed. Thankfully we were able to switch it to that day and also check in immediately.

After a brief nap, as in a half hour, we began walking around Rome. The Trevi Fountain was especially spectacular, with its carvings of King Neptune and other mythical figures. We have our King Neptune in  Virginia Beach on the coastline, but this one looks like he took a lot more time to construct. The Pantheon was a round chapel with sculptures and statues that's a huge draw for tourist groups. I took a panoramic picture of the ceiling, and I think that was the first one of those I'd ever attempted. The artist Raphael, has his tomb in the chapel. I also tried my first margherita pizza from Italy. The crust was spectacular, crispy, full of flavor, and a little chew. The sauce was really good, but it was a full blanket of melted cheese, just like a regular pizza. It also had one basil leaf for the whole 12 inch pie, no parmesan, no salt, no pepper. It was wonderful. With walking this city, it's not too easy. The streets curve, they constantly change names, and they dead end frequently. It's not hard to find yourself lost. And if I had a nickel for every pizza joint and gelateria I saw, I could buy a couple of first class tickets back to the states.

Our food tour began at 4:30 in the southwest section of downtown. And almost everyone was from the NY area: a family of four, a young married couple,  and then the was another young couple from Florida. One of the kids was wearing a Noah Syndergaard t-shirt, so I knew it was gonna be good. We went into a 100 year old grocery store and sampled salami,  Pecorino Romano cheese, and buffalo mozzarella cheese. That buffalo is really unique, it's so soft on the inside with a firm outside. Then came a 200 year old bakery, not a misprint. Red pizza with no cheese, white pizza with potato, and a little mortadella in between some of the freshest focaccia I've ever had. Oh and a little red wine after! The best part was seeing one of the kids, maybe 13 years old, try his first glass. Suffice to say, he preferred Sprite.

Next came the Jewish ghetto, which is a pretty nice section in spite of the name. The rice ball wasn't that great, certainly not as good as NYC. The breading was too heavy and the inside could have been more moist. Outside, the city has what looked like fire hydrants that are actually fountains that produce clean, drinkable water. Even though I don't advocate reusing plastic water bottles, I could not fill that bottle enough times, as thirsty as I had become.

Our whole group was getting really tired, but we were just thankful the sun was starting to go down to relieve us of some of the heat. I was starting to wish I had ibuprofen on me. We walked 15 minutes from the ghetto to a nice Italian restaurant where we had some wonderful pasta. I had bucatini with tomato sauce, plenty of Romano cheese, and guanciale, which is the pork cheek. Fantastic. And... two more glasses of wine. Daniella showed us how to swirl the pasta on a fork without a spoon. Even though it isn't culturally approved, I'm sorry, I'm a pasta cutter.

The last stop was for gelato. The rain was just starting to fall as we headed down a busy narrow pedestrian street. I had absolutely no idea where we were, as I'd misplaced the map hours prior. But we headed inside a small gelateria. I tried a few flavors, but I went with two flavors: the Fred and the black cherry ripple. The Fred was a frozen golden custard with cookie crumbs mixed in. Absolutely fantastic. About the time I got my gelato, the rain increased to a monsoon. Apparently it was the first rain that Rome had seen in weeks.

We charged through the street and the downpour to hail a cab, getting back to the hotel around 8. I wanted to go out to explore, but I knew inside that I just had to crash. Woke up and it was 10:30. Back to sleep again.

Ready to go

1)  I'm watching Miracle for about the fortieth time. It just never gets old.

2)  My move is done and it feels good to have a new apartment. Hopefully I never have to hear back from the people I rented from again in my life.

3) F Officer Barrett of Portsmouth. Eighty five year old bitch. Retire already!

4) I do miss having a dog. Very much.

5) Four days until Europe!!!

NFL predictions

AFC

AFC East

b-New England 13-3
Buffalo 6-10
NY Jets 6-10
Miami 4-12
 
AFC North
b-Pittsburgh 11-5
Baltimore 7-9
Cleveland 4-12
Cincinnati 4-12
 
AFC South
y-Jacksonville 10-6
x-Houston 9-7
Tennessee 8-8
Indianapolis 6-10
 
AFC West
y-Kansas City 11-5
x-San Diego 9-7
Oakland 6-10
Denver 5-11
 
NFC

NFC East
b-Philadelphia 12-4
x-NY Giants 11-5
Dallas 6-10
Washington 5-11
 
NFC North
b-Minnesota 13-3
x-Green Bay 11-5
Detroit 7-9
Chicago 5-11
 
NFC South
y-New Orleans 11-5
Atlanta 10-6
Carolina 7-9
Tampa Bay 5-11
 
NFC West
y-Los Angeles 11-5
San Francisco 9-7
Seattle 8-8
Arizona 6-10
 
AFC Championship Game
New England over Kansas City
 
NFC Championship Game
Minnesota over Los Angeles
 
Super Bowl
New England over Minnesota
 
 
Ovahs/Undahs
Three Ovahas
Kansas City 8.5
New England 11
NY Giants 7
 
Three Undahs
Washington 7
Cleveland 5.5
Dallas 8.5

32 hours to 37

So I am one day away from turning 37 years old. This birthday has really snuck up on me, like it was Christmas or a weekend festival. This is one of those ages were it's not going to feel a whole lot different. It probably won't feel different until 2021 when I hit a certain number. More specifically, I reach a certain decade. Right now the biggest change is I need to enter a higher number on the age setting when I use the treadmill.

Speaking of which, I signed up to do my first 10K and that is going to happen right before Halloween. I have an eight week training program ready and it's going to start right after I return from Europe. I'm not sure what my goal is yet, but I definitely want to finish in under an hour. I'm thinking maybe less than 55 minutes would be really good. The other factor is will I wear a costume of some kind. My focus is really to run. But I will do some searching and if I can find something cool that won't inhibit my ability to run, then that would be great.

One year down

So it's now been more than one year since I moved from St. Charles to Newport News. Those two towns are 900 miles apart and they seem like two completely different worlds. So with that in mind, I decided to take a brief moment and point out some of the most memorable moments and happenings that have occurred over the last twelve months.

1. Underwater hockey.
I really tried to make this work, being that I I was new to the area and loved playing hockey. But one night of this was enough. I swallowed maybe half a gallon of pool water that night. I don't think I've ever had so much trouble breathing. But i'm glad I tried it once.

2. Aroma's chai tea.
What a cool coffee shop I have less than five walking minutes away. Excellent drinks, homey atmosphere. It blows Starbucks out of the water.

3. Run club.
This became a tradition for me on Monday nights. 3 miles and back from Whole Foods to City Center Blvd and back. I met some pretty good people there, most notably Ira, Dave, and Deb. I slacked off by the fall though, but I probably ran close to a dozen times.

4. Stop sign.
That asshole cop. Never been to that peculiar intersection before, but I just didn't see the stop sign. Cop didn't care and I went to court twice over it, ultimately paying a $100 fine.

5. Community group.
This was the main reason that I decided to go to Grace Bible Church. The group met at the right time of day on the right day of the week and it had people around my age group. I just hope they are friends who I will still have in my life after the group comes to an end one day.

6. Men's breakfasts.
This was one of the other reasons why I went to Grace Bible. Once a month, I would meet with other men in Virginia Beach at a restaurant and we would have breakfast together and here and inspirational message. Very few other churches have regular meetings like this for men, and if they do come of the usually around 5:30 in the morning.

7. Virginia Jets Fans.
Well what can I say. I never expected to find us superior jets group in Virginia as opposed to Chicago, but that's what happened. Between Stirling, Ken, LeShay, Barb, Ray, Dennis, Sam, Chip, Joe, Patrick, Suzanne, and others, we really are a family.

8. Hollydazzle.
The city center shopping area where I live is very strange. A lot of times it feels like a ghost town. But when there is a festival going on, there is hardly room to walk. And their Christmas festival is the epitome. I am literally could not walk for 3 hours because there was no room to move. But at least I got to see the tree light up.

9. Basketball.
At least I got to get back into athletics for a little while. Even though Stratford was doomed to fail, I got to travel with a basketball team and I really enjoyed tracking the statistics. I just wish I could make a living at what I enjoy doing.

10. Bored Nevermore.
Meetup became a pretty big deal for my social life. I met a lot of very cool people and also a few people who I didn't really care to hang around but they were definitely the minority. Alisa is a great organizer. Ann adds a lot of spunk despite not living the most moral lifestyle. John will speak his mind, he's a little older and really doesn't seem to give a damn anymore. Susannah...I just wish she'd give me a chance.

11. Indoor gardening.
Mom got me an Easter present of an indoor garden that plugs in. I really enjoyed growing my own herbs for the first time.

12. Yelp.
The Yelp community does not meet as often in the Hampton roads area as it doesn't Chicago man. But I've gotten to do some very enjoyable events such as New Orleans seafood, Outback on two occasions, and several fitness classes.

13. Shamrock 8k. Less than 38 minutes on St. Patrick's Day. Cold in the morning. Loads of Yeungling beers afterwards.

14. World Mission Alliance Church.
My worst church experience ever. I'm thankful that I have a firm faith.

15. Quitting my job.
I've said so much about this in my recent post. Maybe God used that job which wasn't meant to work out in order to get me here for another reason. I'm not totally sure what the reason is aside from my independence. But I'm excited to find out.

Work transition

I started working my new school job on July 9 and started a restaurant waitering job about two days later. Fast forward one week, and between Monday and Saturday, I worked over 75 hours. So in a span of two weeks, I went from working zero hours to working 75.

I expected too much of myself too quickly. Being that I had three years of waitering experience, 11 years working in education, which is really just a form of customer service, and that I'm a foodie, I thought I would come in and immediately be great. So even during my four day training process, it was tough to hear criticism and correction. It's not that I didn't want correction, I appreciate constructive criticism. But between Friday and Saturday, I took some strides forward in terms of my approach and willing ness to ask for help. I made between 28 and $38 my first three nights. I would have hoped for a little better than $38 on a Friday though. But I made just shy of $100 on Saturday, which is a really good number, despite it being an eight hour shift. And keep in mind that I only get to keep 40% of my tips, because I have to tip the bartender, the busser, and the many meat servers. So my total in tips was around $235. But that's just a side dish, if I may use a food analogy. If it doesn't work out, it'll leave me with a little less money, but certainly more time.

What matters is the new school job. How am I feeling at the moment? Well after ten days, I cautiously think there is a future for me. Mostly, I'll be working with military students. One of the reasons I have confidence it will work is the management is hands on but supportive. Our campus president is very interested and has a lot of energy. The two financial aid managers are very straight forward and are going to make sure I get this down. The bad part is I have no paid time off until at least mid-February. But it's a price I have to pay.

Wal-Mart experience

I don't think I stepped into a Wal-Mart until my later teenage years, and most likely, it was out of necessity when I went on one of my many trips. May have been a missions trip or a vacation, I don't know. But I can safely say I've never quite had an experience like I did this past Saturday.

It started out innocently enough, not giving any money to a cause nodding at the greeter, and getting the items I had come for like cream cheese, yogurt, lemonade, and beans. Then, it was time to head over the hardware and sporting good sections; I was looking for zip ties and a headband. I'm walking down the aisle just minding my own business when all of a sudden, a guy walking with his kid stops me and smiles, shakes my hand, and immediately, I'm thinking...what is going on here? I have to remember that I'm in the south. He wound up inviting me to his church and to an event that evening called Saturday Night Extreme, which was sort of what Saturday Night Live would be if it was done in church. I explained I was busy but I do appreciate churches that get creative in their presentations. I found out later that this church does street preaching every Saturday at 10 am.

So I took his card and went over to the next aisle. There were about five guys in that aisle, and the guy who I would be chatting with soon joined them. So right away, I knew they were all together from this particular church. They were casually passing a toy football around. One of the guys took a 3 step drop towards me, he was maybe three feet away from me, and he gave me a quick look and said two dreaded words.

"I'm Brady."

That was all I needed to hear. I slapped the football down from his hand, looked right at him, and casually but firmly said, "F Brady." The other guys left, leaving just me and him. Now he was a decent sized guy, he is actually in the Navy, so he'd probably whip my ass. I explained I was a die hard Jets fan, and he admitted to me that he was a fair weather fan between the Jaguars, Cowboys, and Patriots. He also explained that he starting rooting for New England because of a girl he was dating at the time. My immediate response was to question the girl's intelligence and decision making.

We wound up talking for about 20 minutes and exchanged numbers at the end. I'm not sure that we'll communicate, but it went pretty well. I'm not sure how to feel about the church, just because I'm so uncomfortable with outreach. Maybe I'll visit one time, but I'm not sure as of yet.

The fun was just beginning. I get my zip ties, but not the headband, and I get on line. I'm behind 3 carts and they moved so slowly, so I called my father and told him what had just happened. Our conversation lasted ten minutes and I was still waiting. The person right before me was some 50 year old weathered looking Southern woman with a sharp mountain accent. She was trying to use a business check and it wouldn't process. The manager came over and still couldn't get it to work. I groaned, and the woman said "Sir, be patient, sometimes things don't always work." I ignored her, feeling it wasn't worth it to engage. The cashier and manager asked if she had another method of payment and she angrily responded that she used the business check every week and she was never going to shop at Wal-Mart again. She pushed her cart away in disgust.

And I don't know why I said this, but I just casually said, "And you wanted me to be patient." Her response was to yell at me, "Shut the hell up asshole." I just really pitied her. I couldn't not say anything, but I was not going to let myself get angry. I just said, "God bless you too!" She walked away and the cashier rang up my order. We just couldn't get over how rude she was. I admit to having a temper, but in that setting, to insult someone personally like that? Pretty sad.

Walking out of the store, everything came together. First, I had to make sure this crazy woman wasn't waiting to beat me down or anything. Thankfully, I didn't see her. But I'm walking back to the car and a guy is passing me slowly in his car, looking for a spot. He had a NY Jets license plate frame. I had him pull down his window and told him about the Virginia Jets Fans club. So who knows, maybe I helped the club to grow!

Sunday reflections

1) I had three Yelp Fit Club workouts in three days during the course of last week. Tuesday was yoga, followed by Explosive Performance at a new One Life gym on Wednesday, and it culminated with Muay Thai on Thursday. The yoga really didn't do anything for me, it was a little too meditative. Sure I felt a little more relaxed afterwards, but I didn't feel al that enlightened, and certainly not challenged. The EP focused a lot on conditioning and functional strength. There was a lot of power moves, squats, lunges, and even a sled race relay at the end. It was a load of fun and I would definitely want to do this again. Muay Thai was a radically new experience for me. I've done some kickboxing classes in the past and I took karate for a few months when I was a little kid. Truth be told, I never gravitated to them. But I really liked how this style requires balance, concentration, technique, and energy. Not only that, but it's one hell of a stress reliever. And unlike in kickboxing, I didn't have to spend the entire time pounding those heavy bags. My partner, Rachel, did a great job with her strikes. I could tell she had a little experience as soon as I saw that she had brought her own gloves along. We really clicked in terms of coaching each other, positioning the pads, and timing our strikes. I would definitely do this more often, but when it's an hour away without traffic and the prices are rather prohibitive, I just can't justify it.

2) My Sunday night is being spent watching Ken Burns' documentary from 18 years ago about jazz music. Looks like I'll get through the first two episodes of the ten part series. I'm not an expert on jazz at all, but after watching his baseball series so many years ago, I figured it would be a good way for me to learn about a genre of music that is distinctly American. And maybe I'll discover some artists that I didn't know about.

3) Bub n Pops in DC. I cannot visit the city without stopping in there. They may just be the best sandwich joint I've ever been to, along with Defonte's in Brooklyn and Graziano's in Chicago. They just can't make a bad sandwich. The roast pork, the brisket, the Italian, the Jewish hero. Just unbelievable quality.

4) I think it's time for me to purchase a TV set for the first time. Most likely, I'll be buying it at Costco. On the surface, there doesn't seem to be much to do except check the price tag and the inches. But upon further research, I'm learning about HDR, pixels, HDMI ports, etc. I see some sets that have Wi-Fi capabilities and I can hardly imagine how that would work. I'm currently watching a 32 incher and the one I have that is all but dead is a 37 inch. I've been seeing articles that insist on a 55 inch or a 65 inch, but I believe I'd be satisfied with a set over 40 inches.

5) I'm disgusted with my apartment complex, specifically the business practices of the agents. Not only did they raise my rent by $125 per month (would have been $225 if I did a 6 month lease instead of a 12 month lease), but they won't even negotiate. This in spite of me quitting my job and now having a new one which pays a little bit less than what I was making. So why don't I just move? There's really two reasons why I'm leaning towards staying. One, my new job is five minutes from this apartment. Two, I don't want to go through the aggravation of moving. But I gave them notice two weeks ago that I was leaving since they insisted on it. Now that my work situation has shifted, I'm hoping I can stay. Yet, I'm still waiting to hear back from the leasing office. So annoying.
 

Humanity

In these last few weeks, I have truly seen some of the best parts of people and some of the worst that people are capable of as well.

I have witnessed inclusion, I have dealt with exclusion. I have experienced genuine concern, I've seen apathy. I have discovered different opinions, for better or worse. I've learned patience in the midst of anxiety. I have been trying to practice positive self talk, especially as terrible words slip out of my mouth. I've heard the sweetest affirmation, and I've heard the most evil slander. I've seen the beauty of repentance and the disgrace that is Pride. Especially since it's June.

There is no question God is trying to teach me as I go through this remarkable time of change. And I have no doubt that I am growing stronger, and that I have so much more work to do. I'm yet to learn if there is one big lesson still to come.

I'm thankful for the people who are standing by me. I realize that I'm a complicated guy. I have unique opinions, likes, and dislikes and I am not ashamed to express myself, even at the risk of ridicule or hate. Some have judged me harshly in the last few weeks and that is their choice, their burden, their ignorance. This is why I have had to pray in depth more, practice positive self talk, and surround myself with supportive people. Because there is such a huge difference between constructive criticism and malicious criticism.

My beliefs are not of the popular culture. I don't believe everything is to be tolerated and accepted. Many things can feel natural or good at first and then they could come back to hurt. I mean, if our parents accepted everything we did as kids and gave us no discipline, what kind of entitled people would we all become as adults?

I believe in right and wrong. While laws and rules sometimes need to be adjusted to reflect changing times, morals on the other hand, are bigger than feelings and are not to be messed with. I believe in helping the greater good and I don't care if it offends a couple of folks.

People

How do we define good and bad? Is it something that people can define, does God have say over it, does it even matter if we do good or if we do bad? I personally believe that relative morals and relative truth lead to absolute disaster, because then somebody can create their own system based on destruction.

To me, this society has lowered the standard of the word "good." I think we have lowered it to mean not just something that stands out, not  just something that is truly praiseworthy. But instead now, good just means the absence of bad behavior. Personally, I am not content to simply avoid bad behavior. I want to do things and say things that make positive impacts in people's lives and on this sorry, broken world.  And yet the more I see how people conduct themselves and how they react to adversity and opposition, the more concerned I get.

I really want to believe that people are good, but it's getting tough to have faith in a lot of them. I believe most people are out for themselves and are only truly good when it's convenient for them to do so.

Lord have mercy on us all.

Future endeavored...and no regrets

For several weeks, I knew this day was probably going to come. And now it's happened.

In this post, I'm going to refer to my boss's boss as the power that shouldn't be. I have no desire to mention his name. And my former place of employment will be happen as the school.

At the beginning of May, I received a write up, a final written warning. In reality, it was a first and last warning. I had been working over a report for many months, and I had felt I had gotten better and better at it since February and March. I had spent each Wednesday through those two months training with the more experienced assistant manager in Virginia Beach, and I felt I was more focused and more detailed in the way I was handling the report. Now keep in mind when I was hired, I was working with two other people in financial aid, and they had been at the school for less than two months each. So we were all inexperienced to begin with.  In retrospect, I wish that I had trained one day a week in Virginia Beach from the beginning.

The fact is getting used to working at the school was different than anything I could have have anticipated. After ten years of working in this specific industry, I had a way of doing things. I was used to Federal guidelines and working under those. At the school, however, there are many additional quirks and nonsensical rules as well that don't make sense. For instance, they require an additional document to finish a process, or they complicate the reentry process by making necessary information hard to find. The systems were not user friendly by any means. 

So despite the issues, the power that shouldn't be gave me three months to prove myself. He said he needed to see progress with how I was handling the report. Now at no point did he ever say how much progress needed to be made or how to write the comments or how I could specifically improve. He just said progress was needed. That was one of the biggest issues I had with the school. There were no clear goals, no clear standards, everything was subjective.  But from this point, there was a black cloud hanging over my head, because I realize I could work to my maximum level of ability, but one person up in Falls Church, Virginia could just decide that it wasn't good enough for him. It felt like a no win situation.

Tuesday, May 22
The day started with great news. Our campus President, who I have great respect for, told me that after six months of deliberating, the Sports Information Director role had been approved. I didn't know any details, but this was something I wanted to do and I never dreamed I could make a living in that role. I didn't have a huge reaction and I wasn't going to react until the papers were signed and I had an offer letter in my hand.

That afternoon, the power that shouldn't be made me aware of a position in Glen Allen, which is a nice suburb just west of Richmond. It would be less money, and I'd be commuting three hours a day as opposed to ten minutes, but at least the report would be off my hands and I wouldn't have to deal with the power that shouldn't be anymore.  But of the 3 choices that I seemed to have, taking a position in Richmond was my number 3 option, behind staying in my current role and the sports information director role.

Oh, on a side note this was also the day that I learned that my rent would increase $125/month come August and I had two weeks to notify the leasing people if I would stay or leave.

Thursday, May 24
The power that shouldn't be visited our campus and we had a great conversation.  He was friendly, we were able to talk about non work things, which we had never done before. He said he was definitely seeing progress in the way I was doing the report, and he felt we were heading in the right direction. I walked away feeling comfortable and confident that I as in a better place.

Friday, May 25
I pulled in for an abbreviated day and half the parking lot was being paved. So I had to walk around a set of ropes to reach the door. I began walking from my car and the president was a few steps ahead of me. She's generally very upbeat, but I could tell by the sound of get voice that something wasn't right. She told me the Sports Information Director pay had come in and it was only going to be about 80 percent of what I was making. That was a disappointment, but I thought maybe I could pick up an additional job and make it all work.

Well that hope lasted less than two hours. The president told me that was pulled because we didn't have room in the budget for it. Rather, the new athletic director was going to bring in his trainer, who would handle most of the SID duties. At 1:45, feeling disgusted, I left for the day and spent the next four hours scouting new places to live.

Tuesday, May 29
Everything died that day. Coming into the office, I was feeling okay despite not getting a chance at the SID role. I had attended WWE events the prior two nights and was feeling good. I checked in with my boss and she didn't seem pleased.

The power that be had reviewed my latest report and apparently it wasn't good enough for him. Never mind the issues I had solved that week, never mind that it was the first week of classes and people were still registering at a fervent pace. Nothing I could say mattered. He wanted to have a conversation with my boss and me that afternoon about where we stood going forward. Just by the tone of the email, I could tell it wasn't good.

More bad news came in that day.  After getting the news about the report, I decided I had enough and I had to relieve the burden of stress that he was causing me, so I decided I would just take the position in Richmond. Well, that afternoon, the Glen Allen offer was pulled because they didn't have enough room in the budget to support the position. What that really meant was that campus did not have enough students to support the position, they were down to under 150, compared to around 250 at Newport News or Virginia Beach. It amazes me that they could not foresee that they would not have enough students to justify the position. It's not as if 100 or 200 students suddenly dropped in one week. So this was the 2nd time that I had been misled about the possibility of a different position at the school. My level of disgust and concern were growing.

Friday, June 1
So the meeting that was supposed to happen on Tuesday got postponed to Wednesday and then it got postponed again to Friday. The power that shouldn't be wanted to have the meeting on Friday afternoon, but I said that was unacceptable because I already had half a day off, because I was driving up to Washington DC that afternoon.

There was no explaining my case. There was no listening to anything I had done. After the power that shouldn't be gave me his typical garbage about concerns and progress, he gave me three options. One,  I could take a two week extension and after the time, he would decide if I should stay or not. Two, I could resign that day and take x amount of dollars as a severance package. Three, I could relocate to Baltimore, MD for a lesser position and for $5,000 less, but I would get a little bit of money to help with my relocation. Now Baltimore is four hours away from where I currently live.

And here's the best part. This was all presented to me at 10:45 am. He said he needed a decision by 4 p.m. So the power that shouldn't be was basically demanding I make a decision regarding my entire life in less than five hours.

Can a company be any less professional? What if I had a family? How would I handle it then? This is the absolute lack of respect and terrible communication that I've been talking about.

I went straight to the leasing office of my apartment complex and asked them if there would be any penalties for if I left due to a job transfer. I like Krystel, but she gave me the typical corporate bullshit. As soon as she said the words "Regardless of the reason..." I knew what was about to happen. she crunched a few numbers and calculated that if I let early, I would owe over $4,000. Baltimore option eliminated.

Straight from there, I had a 2.5 hour drive in front of me to Springfield, VA where I was going to take the train and meet Lori for the first time. Those  2.5 hours in the car felt like they took maybe 45 minutes. I talked with Laurie, my mother, my boss, my father, and maybe 1 or 2 other people.  I felt as though my best option was to resign and everybody else seemed to agree with me. At 3:30 on the Metro train near Arlington VA, ironically not far from the school's main headquarters, with Lori by my side, and holding my hand,  I emailed my final decision to my boss and the power that shouldn't be. I accepted the package, but I really wanted to tell him to stick it.

So it's been six days since I made my choice. I have my freedom. And for the first time since 2015, I'm looking for work,  but this time I also don't know where I'll be living in two months.  While it is a little bit scary, and I am fighting restlessness, I am doing my best to stay calm, stay busy, and save money. I am thankful for the severance package that I have, my rent is covered, and I should have a good chance at receiving unemployment.  And I have a group of friends and family who genuinely care. Thankful for my blessings.

I have learned that you can work to your maximum level of ability, but that isn't always enough. The job needs to be the right fit at the right time and you do need to have support from above.  And despite a good paycheck, a good boss, a great commute, and a pretty good work atmosphere, I had no faith or confidence in upper management at all. They simply did not know how to run their business and that is a huge reason why the school is struggling as bad as it is.

God is not finished with me yet! I will be okay.