24 Hours Was All

It was just another Friday night Meetup group event. About a dozen of us were meeting up at Tradition brewery, just a two minute walk from my apartment. I got there around 7:45. Kevin (the well dressed Asian), Rodney (the beer aficionado who needs to go to the dentist), and Jordan (the big boned group organizer) were already there.

A few ladies from the group shuffled in, including one I had never seen before that caught my attention. She appeared to be about 40 with shoulder length dark blonde hair that had been spiral curled. She was wearing jeans, a black leather jacket, and a multi-colored tank top that certainly showed off her impressive assets. She would later say that she was surprised a guy like me was there and that she was waiting for me to say something dumb or have a terrible speaking voice. She told me her name was Jessica and after a minute of small talk, she headed over to the bar to get a beer. I could see a guy or two trying to get her attention. Though I talked with a few people, I had an eye always watching wear she was going.

About 12 people came and we moved upstairs to a communal table. I made sure to sit next to her. I was facing a few other people who were there when I suddenly felt her soft hand gently touch my left wrist. A shiver went through me. She had noticed my black prayer bracelet. I had gotten it back at The Well, two years ago in Geneva. We began discussing faith and it didn’t take us long to figure out we had a lot in common in terms of value and beliefs. When she mentioned that values were the most important thing in a relationship, I had a good feeling. But gosh, I couldn’t stop staring at her chest! Hey, I am a guy, I'm a writer, I'm cursed with an eye for detail. I also found out that she had only moved to Virginia two weeks prior, from Southern California. She didn’t have a job, but she moved here hoping the prospects would be better. And I thought I took a big chance by leaving my home and traveling 1,500 miles when I actually had a job lined up!

At 9:15, Jordan and I left for our next event, karaoke at Quaker Steak and Lube, which was about ten minutes up the road. We arrived and within a few minutes, there were about 12 of us crammed in a tiny booth. There was one guy sitting between her and I so I mostly chatted with my friends Jon, Shawn, and Christina. I don’t remember much about that hour except I drank a huge Yuengling and people were talking the most useless BS imaginable; I think we were just letting out frustrations on a Friday night.

We soon worked our way to the ventilated side room, where the karaoke was but smoking was also allowed. Within a few minutes, we got word about a murder that happened a few yards away from the restaurant. Some guy just got shot in his car.

Jordan had gotten drunk by this time, I saw him drink two flights of eight beers plus two or three 22 ouncers. I turned around and saw him trying to rub up on Jessica. I wanted to kill him. Even though he weighs about 100 pounds more than me, and I had considered him my friend, I would have given him my best shot.

I was ready to leave by midnight. The singers sucked and the cigarette smoke was wearing my energy down. I was actually the only guy in the group who had the balls to sing. Of course, I performed a Bee Gees song, I went with Jive Talking. I said my goodbyes and Jessica was about to leave, but I caught up with her. I promised to message her through Meetup and she said yes. I gave her a big hug and even snuck in a quick peck on her cheek. I said good night and went to my car feeling pretty decent. I’ve never gotten a date out of a Meetup group before, but I had a confident feeling I was going to talk to this girl again.

I woke up the next morning around 8:30, feeling a little groggy after a steady stream of Yeungling. I turned my phone on and, I had a friend request on Facebook. The first name was Jessica. Now I didn’t know her last name and the picture didn’t look too much like her. I started to think to myself that this just didn’t make sense. I’m the one who’s supposed to pursue and fail miserably at it. It’s my trademark. When I saw her Facebook address was in Costa Verde, CA, I knew it was her. She had actually tracked me down right after we said good night.

We messaged a little bit that day and we agreed to meet that night at City Life Church in Newport News, near CNU. It offered a Saturday night service, and she had wanted to try it out. I missed one turn, but she got really lost, Google sent her on a path where she had to make four U-turns. Then, because there were four doors to get in the building, we had trouble figuring out where the other person was. She walked in, we gave each other a huge smile, and embraced. Her hair was straight this time, I almost didn’t recognize her.

This church actually is located inside a large Baptist church. The pastor came up and introduced himself, we had a little trouble explaining how we knew each other, but it was kind of interesting to him. The service was energetic and lively, it lasted about 90 minutes.

At 6:30, we definitely weren’t ready to say good night. She was hungry, but I really wasn’t, so I drove us to Bonefish. But with a 45 minute wait, we decided that wasn’t the best idea. We then tried 1608 Craft House. With the parking lot full, I pulled in next door to an auto parts store. I pulled onto the gravelly lot and settled right next to a tree and behind a tractor trailer. Pretty impressive park job.

We sat at a corner table for two at a window, which gave us a view of the dark parking lot. She ordered a dirty martini and I went with the Dogfish Head Pennsylvania tuxedo pale ale. For dessert, we split Bourbon barrel bread pudding with caramel and ice cream. Cost me $32, and yes, I paid. Even though I get uneasy about paying, I know it’s the right thing to do sometimes. It wasn’t supposed to a date, but it just turned into one. Some of the things we talked about were politics, family, surfing, travel, and fitness. I found out she actually had a grown son, which I preferred, because one, he was in California, and two, she didn’t have to take care of him 24/7. I held her hand for about 10 minutes and it felt great. What surprised was when she told me she hadn’t been in a relationship in 13 years.

Realizing they probably needed the table, we waked back to my car and sat inside. It was really dark, there was just a smidgen of light coming from the lights of the restaurant and a telephone pole. In the darkness, she could see my eyes changed and I just laughed. I always thought I had brown eyes until another girl mentioned to me that she thought they were hazel. I’m pretty sure that my eyes change color in different levels of light. Sensing my opportunity, I leaned a little closer to her. I asked if she was sure. She said yes. I leaned closer. Are you really sure? She leaned in. Our lips touched.

We wound up fogging all my windows at least three times. It was incredible. Her lips were amazingly tender. She grabbed me so tight, we wanted to fall asleep together so much. We drove back to the church lot and did it all over again. We didn’t say good night until nearly 11 pm. The next day came and she went for a day hike. She thought it over, and it was over. I found out that she is planning to leave Virginia by Christmas if she doesn’t get a job.

I don’t know if I’m more angry at her or angry at the circumstances. But now I don’t want to think of her or even talk to her. It’s almost as if she’s looking for a reason to not get attached to me. The circumstances make it challenging. I just wish she hadn’t sucked me in only to hurt me less than two days later.

Ronnie Milsap setlist

Prisoner of the Highway
He Got You/Any Day Now
I Wouldn't Have Missed It For the World/What a Difference You've Made In My Life/In Love/There's No Getting Over Me/Where Do the Nights Go?/Don't You Know How Much I Love You?/Let's Take the Long Way Around the World/Still Losing You/She Keeps the Home Fires Burning/I Wouldn't Have Missed It For the World
What Goes On When the Sun Goes Down
A Legend In My Time
You're Looking at Country
Walking After Midnight
But Not For Me
In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning
Snap Your Fingers
Back On My Mind Again
Lost in the Fifties Tonight
Stranger In My House
Your Cheating Heart
Smoky Mountain Rain
America the Beautiful

What Season Am I In?

We're a couple of days into November. Now when I think of the weather in November that I'm used to, it's kind of a mixture. You might get a day in the upper 60s early on as that last little tease. But by Thanksgiving, you'd better have your thermals, winter gloves, skull cap, and Canadian goose or Patagonia jacket all on standby.

Here in Virginia, I'm still able to wear shorts in the evening. I can't say that I'm minding this. I just hope it doesn't drop from 70 degrees to 30 degrees in the span of a day.

I really don't want to be lonely tonight. It's a Friday night around 11 p.m., and I'm laying in bed, listening to mellow music, drinking a local IPA, and writing. But it isn't easy seeing posts on social media about date nights and wondering why I don't have one. Then again, I guess it's nice to have my freedom, my sanity, and my money. Then I look at the situation from another perspective and I realize being alone is certainly testing my resolve. I settled for women who were not right for me many times in the past. I am not going to do that ever again. I wonder if the day will just come when I realize it's too late for me to fall in love. Because God knows I don't want my wedding night to be the same day I join the AARP Club.

And now I can follow up about the stop sign violation. It turns out the same ridiculous cop pulled over three other people for the same reason. Who knows, they might have even been at the same stop sign. So we all showed up for traffic court in downtown Newport News, which is not exactly downtown Beverly Hills. And the cop turned out to be sick, so he didn't even show up. Then that left us with two choices. We could either plea guilty and pay $50 and be done with it or we could come back in 2 weeks and if he didn't show up again, the case would be dismissed. I actually felt a tremendous sense of relief knowing that my maximum fine would only be $50. I mean, for a stop sign, in the south? I expected triple figures. So I decided to press my luck and take the chance that he won't show up in 2 weeks. At the very least I think I deserve to explain myself and make my case.

I realize with dentists, there are so many different kinds. Someone to do all the work themselves, and some let the hygienist do all the dirty work before they come in and just check on the bites and consider their work to be done. In St. Charles, I had a dentist who did everything himself and I was always out of there in 15 minutes. This new dentist I went to was breaking down scientific terms and diseases that I've never heard of, in fact I think he was trying to just confuse me so I would just trust him and do whatever he wanted. I think his main goal was to sell me on Invisalign so I wouldn't lose teeth in a few years. I guess we'll just see how that goes. But what I saw a coupon for $500 down, I kind of get the idea that buying a mansion in Monaco would be cheaper. I think I'll probably get my wisdom teeth taken out in the next year or two though.

I'm feeling a desire to learn to paint better. I find it focuses my energy well, and it's a good challenge for me. I also feel like I have some natural ability to do it, at least people seem to think so. But there are three issues that I need to address before I invest myself in this endeavor. One, it's expensive to buy the supplies. Two, it would make an absolute mess. And three, what would I do with the finished paintings? If I try to sell them and make money, I might take it personally if nobody ever brought them. I guess that's my rejection issue gnawing at me still.

Only one month remains until my solo trip to DC. It's only going to be two days, but it will be my first real trip since July. And I'm pretty confident I will enjoy this city more than I enjoyed St Louis. On my agenda are the International Spy Museum, Arlington Cemetery, the newseum, Rangers game, and of course, a number of restaurants. The big thing for me is finding the right hotel, between neighborhood and price. I don't mind staying a little outside of downtown, so long as I'm near the train.

Into October

I'm actually a little disappointed in myself because I thought I would be blogging more once I had my own place and a lot of new things were happening for me. And yet I haven't written a thing in a month. So here's what I have to say for right now.

I ran The Crawling Crab 5K in Hampton today and it was the first 5k that I ran in 4 years. I finished at 23:37, which is one of the best times I've ever had. I didn't feel too good during most of the race, especially going going up a highway hill twice, but I wasn't going to stop. I guess I was a little disappointed I didn't have that big final burst at the end. If I want to do a longer race one day, I really have to push myself harder.

I was entitled to have two craft beers after my race along with a cup of soup. Because after running 3 miles in 80 degree weather, what else would you want but a cup of hot soup? Anyway, I had a citrus wheat beer and a sweet potato beer. And then I had to go straight to work because it was orientation day.

Harris Teeter is an interesting grocery store. They have very good products, but their pricing is so confusing. It's like this item is 6.99 but if you have your card you can get 5% off two of them. I do think they have excellent pizza though I've been there four times in the last 3 weeks to get a slice or two of pizza. It's not too bready, it's crispy all the way through, and the toppings are a very good quality.

I would like to give a text version of a middle finger to officer Howell of the Newport News police department. The a****** gave me a ticket for disregarding a stop sign, as he put it. The problem is I was on a road I had never been on and I never saw the stop sign. Yep this scumbag had to fill his quota for the month so he gave me the ticket, without letting me explain. So now I have to go to court in a couple of weeks and hope I don't get screwed up the ass on the fine.

Now that I've gotten that out, I will go back to my Christian form of speech. Grace Bible Church is a pretty excellent Church. They emphasized community and opportunities to actually work in the Hampton Roads area, which I appreciate. And I've been going to a small group for 3 weeks now of young adults and I like the group quite a bit. But I feel like something is missing in the services. The pastor is preaching basic stuff, and I want to be stretched and challenged a lot more than what this guy is doing. It's like he's teaching second grade and I'm ready for college. So I think I'm sticking with the group, we'll have to see how it goes.

I'm really thankful for my new family that I hang out with on Sundays to watch Jets games. I've gone in each of the first four weeks, and I've made quite a few friends and I've even won a few prizes in door drawings. As the season goes on and the seem most likely struggles, it will be interesting to see if 30 and 40 people continue to show up to each game.

Orangetheory was a really interesting Fitness class. I had a free lesson, I just don't think I should have done it one week before my 5K. I had to do three circuits of running, rowing, and strength training equipment on the floor over 55 minutes. The workout was phenomenal, but price wise, it is just too much for my budget right now. I mean I can work out at my apartment complex for free, even though the equipment is lackluster, to say it gently.

And my gas and electric bill went up $100 in one freaking month. Granted $48 of that is a one-time deposit, but I am really taking it hard. I set up a budget, and then it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger. I'm the type of guy who wants to be generous and wants to give money away and leave huge tips, but I feel like I need to take care of myself first. Because if I don't take care of myself, nobody else will. Because I would rather die than be broke and homeless and not be able to live life on my terms.

Two months in

1) Apartment is looking good. Furniture is in place, I have a bed as of Labor day weekend, and I purchased a set of cookware. I think I'm going to put a few bobbleheads on my dresser drawer, just to spite my mother since she feels she knows everything about how I should set up my apartment.

2) Gary Oldman is such a good actor and gets nowhere near the respect that he deserves.

3) I wonder if any woman is mentally strong enough to be with me.

4) The less social media in my life, the better.

5) Why does the local library charge me to get a book that is not in their system. That is not my fault that their system isn't stocked like it should be.

6) In 10 minutes of researching Washington DC, I found at least eight restaurants that I really want to try. Not to mention six sites that I haven't visited yet.

7) I wish to God I had an ability to just erase all sports knowledge from my brain.

8) Why do I get the feeling the Rangers are going to kill me again this year?

9) One game in and we know the Jets are dead.

10) Fuck the 2017 baseball season. I wish the hurricanes had destroyed Wrigley Field instead of Houston and South Florida.

NHL Predictions

Eastern Conference
Metropolitan Divisionz-Pittsburgh
x-Columbus
x-NY Rangers
w-Washington
Carolina
NY Islanders
Philadelphia
New Jersey

Atlantic Division
z-Tampa Bay
x-Toronto
x-Ottawa
w-Montreal
Florida
Buffalo
Boston
Detroit

Western Conference
Central Division
z-Chicago
x-Nashville
x-St. Louis
w-Dallas
w-Minnesota
Winnipeg
Colorado

Pacific Division
z-Anaheim
x-Edmonton
x-San Jose
Calgary
Los Angeles
Colorado
Vegas
Vancouver

Eastern Conference Finals
Columbus over Toronto

Western Conference Finals
Anaheim over Edmonton

Stanley Cup Finals
Anaheim over Columbus

Early experiences

It's been a week and a half since my last post. Life really does feel different than it ever has before. I'm doing things on my own. I'm speaking to different people with the wondering in the back of my mind if I will speak to them again. When I go to the grocery store, the hardware store, festivals, for the mall, I don't have to see the dreaded Cubs logo. Well, except once every two weeks or so. Of course I have flipped off a couple of Patriots fans.

There have been a couple of challenges to deal with. On Sunday afternoon, I noticed a long, thin crack in my windshield. It went horizontally on the passenger side and covered maybe a third of the windshield. I don't know how it happened, I'm thinking it was on my drive from Newport News to Virginia Beach. Even though it did not impair my driving, I knew enough about these things to know I had to get the issue fixed and get it fixed quickly. So I made an online appointment for Tuesday morning at Safelite. They wound up fixing the issue inside of an hour and a half. The windshield did have to be replaced, but thankfully insurance covered the issue without me paying a deductible. I did eat breakfast at Cracker Barrel while I was waiting. Not the best breakfast, but I did try to play that golf tee game. I got it down to two tees left on the board.

Another issue was my first full paycheck. I had chosen to put that money into my credit union account since I getter a better rate of interest than I would at a typical bank. At the time I did not have a new checking account set up yet. I didn't want to put a check into a checking account that was about to close anyway. So my mother arranged a transfer of the check from the credit union to my new account. And it took 10 full days for it to go through. Thankfully, that got fixed this morning.

One issue that did not end as well was the situation with Cox. The installer had told me that my charge would be $89.99 plus another $18 in fees and equipment. What I wasn't told was that I would be charged more money in taxes and other fees. So I'm paying another $22 a month than I expected. Including $30 a month for a telephone that I'm not even using.

I'm thankful for Dave and Debra, a married couple that I'm starting to become friends with. Dave is pretty quiet, but very generous, and Debra is the sweet one, rather inquisitive and open. We might be going out to lunch this weekend. I've also met a guy named Ira through running. He's a little older than me, and he's an Ira that's not from New York and not Jewish. He is actually from northern Virginia, enjoys his beer, and we've had some good conversations.

But there's a feeling that I've had. It is a feeling that I don't believe I've ever had in my entire life. Now and then, I just smile and I thank God. I have a place to live, I have a pretty darn good job, and I get to go through a period of self-discovery. I'm learning what I want to do, what I enjoy, what I prioritize, what matters to me, and it's making be responsible in a way that I haven't had to be before.

I leave in six days to fly back to Chicago. I'll be hauling a lot of big things out here. Maybe at that point, this apartment will really feel like a home. Right now, it feels like my place to stay. But I'm not sure it feels like home yet. Maybe that's because after this one year lease, they may raise my rate and I'll need to leave. Because if it's just me, I don't need anything more than a 1 bedroom. The master bedroom and bathroom are not even being used right now. And unless my mother comes to stay, it's not going to either.

I also decided to run a 5k for the first time since April of 2014. It will be taking place in Hampton in mid-October. I have six weeks to train. I know I can run it in 25 minutes, I've been doing that for the last month. Most of my fastest times in the past have been between 23 and 24 minutes. My fastest race was also my most recent and that was 22:14 at Willow Creek Church. With six weeks of calculated training, I'm confident I can run it inside of 24 minutes. Beating 23 minutes would be a great accomplishment.

Moved in

August 12, 2017. Not a date that will slip my memory. It's the day that I moved into my first apartment. I had the date set for probably three weeks in advance. Waking up that morning, I didn't feel afraid. I didn't feel overwhelmed. Well, except I wish I had a little more cash for it. But my attitude was I had a job to do and I was going to do it that day.

 

It was absolutely pouring rain that morning. Not the day to be moving a ton of stuff back and forth. I loaded 25 or 30 hangers with clothes on the rod inside my car, wishing I could have covered them in plastic bags. I arrived at the leasing office at 9:55, waiting for the doors to open. The staff arrived late and I did not get my keys until 10:15. Fifteen minutes may not sound like a big deal, but knowing I had more belongings still sitting in my room, and knowing that my friend was waiting for me to be ready so he could help me unpack, those minutes crawled by ever so slowly.

 

Craig came over and we started unloading my car. He focused on my clothes and I took just about everything else in. Thankfully, the staff let me use a covered parking space, so my items didn't have to get too wet. After about ninety minutes, we were done with the first load. The only casualty was half a bottle of cheap glass cleaner from the dollar store spilling on my kitchen counter. At least it was from the dollar store so it only cost me about five dimes

I made one more run back to the hotel, mostly for food and winter clothes. My car was only about half full this time. It seems like 90 percent of what I have is kitchen stuff and clothes. All in all, it took us about 2 and a half hours to unload everything.

 

I offered to take Craig for lunch to say thank you. We walked to The Cove, a tropical-ish restaurant in City Centre. We split the crab dip and each had an order of fish tacos. It certainly wasn't the best meal I've ever had, but after all that moving, it hit the spot. I will say the crab dip with the lightly toasted bread points was quite good, even if it was a little heavy.

After lunch, I went back to #5411. The apartment was very clean, the carpets had been professionally cleaned before I moved in. I started rearranging my closet and the kitchen. The two things it's very short on are furniture and light. I have one card table, one folding chair. No couch, no bed, no bedroom furniture. All my clothes are either hanging up or they're inside one of four suitcases. Then there's the light issue. There's no light in living room, aside from two small lamps I put on either side of the TV. There's no light in my bedroom, as I couldn't fit any floor lamps in my car.

But the biggest setback I had was the mattress didn't inflate. Even with new D batteries, there was no airflow at all. So I'm essentially sleeping on carpet. At this point I have a stack going on. It's my yoga mat, then the deflated mattress, then two bed sheets folder over twice, and two blankets. My back was not at all comfortable last night. The only way I got through the night was to put a pillow under my back the long way for support. And I still woke up at 3 and 5 am.

Keith from Cox came over at 3:45, and stayed about an hour to install my cable and Internet. So that's good, though I could use a stand to put the TV on.

 

I don't mean to complain. I'm thankful for this place and everything in it. It just feels half empty. But in two weeks, we'll see if it truly feels like home.

It's Saturday But I Could Swear It's Sunday

I have a three hour wait in the Providence airport before I fly to Charlotte, and then fly to Newport News. Time for some reflections.

 

1) The Philly burger and onion rings with Chipotle ketchup at Bobby Flay's Burger Palace​ are tremendous.

 

2) New England is just so gray and drab. It y be cloudy there at least 360 days a year.

 

3) I truly hate baseball right now. I wish it would go on strike. The Mets have completely numbed me.

 

4) I've been to five different churches in Virginia. One of them, I have no interest in, there are three that I'm moderately interested in, and there is one I'm quite interested in. Location and small groups will probably make a big impact on where I go. I have two more to go to, I really want to decide by the end of August where I will go.

 

5) TSA agent at security in Providence refused to touch my Jets cap. He tried to joke me with about who our quarterback would be. I wanted to deck him for being an asshole. Rather, I simply muttered, "It doesn't matter," and walked off.

 

6) Joe is simply one of my best friends in the world, even though we've only met twice now. He drove to Mohegan Sun to hang with me and we vented over another pitiful Mets loss while drinking Irish beer and Miller High Life.

 

7) There are really moments when I dread life. Those moments of fear, when the world just wants to stop me from moving forward, at least it can feel that way for me. I'm finally learning that life needs to be appreciated. Because I want to live my life in personal and Christian peace, I do not want to live in fear and worry. I am liking myself more these days, but I do wonder what would it would take for me to be able to look at myself and be completely content. I think one thing that could help that would be having peace of mind in moments when I'm tempted to panic. Some of those are financially based, some are relational, and some are about my physical state. I think learning to like myself is something I need to do. After all, if I don't like myself, why should anyone else?

 

8) It amazes me that I want to date, yet I'm scared that it's going to cripple me financially. Maybe it's just an easy excuse to save myself from further heartbreak.

 

9) One week from now, I'll be in my apartment. It's exciting, but it's a little scary to be leaving the hotel I've stayed in for three weeks.

 

10) I'm ready to get back to Virginia. I really feel it. And I think that's a good sign that it's feeling more like home.

 

PS. I didn't know I'd be sitting in first class. Keep the red wine flowing...

NFL Predictions

AFC
East
New England 15-1
Buffalo 5-11

Miami 5-11
Jets 3-13

North
Pittsburgh 11-5
Cincinnati 8-8
Baltimore 7-9
Cleveland 3-13

South
Houston 11-5
Tennessee 11-5
Indianapolis 6-10
Jacksonville 5-11

West
Oakland 11-5
Kansas City 9-7

Denver 9-7
Los Angeles 4-12

NFC
East
NY Giants 12-4
Dallas 10-6
Philadelphia 9-7
Washington 5-11

North
Green Bay 11-5
Minnesota 10-6
Detroit 6-10
Chicago 5-11

South
Atlanta 10-6
Carolina 9-7
Tampa Bay 8-8
New Orleans 6-10

West
Seattle 11-5
Arizona 10-6
Los Angeles 5-11
San Francisco 3-13

AFC Championship

New England over Oakland

NFC Championship

NY Giants over Green Bay

Super Bowl

New England over NY Giants

Yep, I'm predicting the most painful outcome possible.

A Death in the Family

One of the tough aspects of having such a small family is that when one of them dies, the impact of the loss can be that much greater. With fewer people in the family, there are fewer relationships so the good ones can be extra meaningful. By no means am I saying that people in smaller families have better connections to their kin, but I am saying that we can value the good ones a little bit more.

My maternal grandmother passed away last Wednesday afternoon, just five days before my birthday. What's tough about this is I feel like I don't have as many memories of her as I should. Certainly distance played a role as I lived 1500 miles from her for the last 14 years. And there are other family tensions that have damaged relations as well.

 

But I'm not going to dwell on the pain and the disappointments, I'm trying to recall some of my better memories of her. So let's do that.

 

The Waterslide. I can't recall where this was, though I'm pretty sure it was in Williamsburg, VA. Ironic, considering I just moved thirty minutes from there. My mother, grandmother, and I stayed at a hotel with an outdoor pool. And this pool had a small twisting slide. I've always had an affinity for waterslides so I took advantage of this. My grandmother saw how much fun I was having and thought she'd get in on the action. She climbed up the stairs and turned around. She leaned back and started sliding. Backwards. I know it didn't go smoothly, she actually feel off and hit her neck and ankle on the edge of the pool. She was ok, but I guess that's a testament to her adventurous spirit.

 

I remember her taking me to Subway, for a foot long Italian, back when I thought that was a good sandwich. Obviously, that was forever ago. I also remember getting excellent pizza at Papa Gino's and I'd constantly feed the jukebox, playing Garth Brooks and Creedence songs.

 

My grandparents have lived in Connecticut as long as I've been alive. Specifically, they lived in Waterford, in the southeast corner of Connecticut. There are some nice little towns we went to: Groton, Mystic, and Old Saybrook to name a few. On a sidenote, I'm still wondering where the newer Saybrook is.

 

We even went camping when I was in my grade school years. My grandfather would drive the old trailer and I'd help him level it when we were ready to park. My grandmother would handle the trips and the food. I remember sitting by campfires in New Hampshire, riding a bike without training wheels for the first time in a Vermont forest, and eating ice cream in southern Maine.

 

I remember in later years when I was attending college north of Boston. Several times, I took an Amtrak from Boston to New London and they'd pick me up and let me stay with them for a couple of days. It gave me a little taste of my youth and I always appreciated that gesture.

 

What I'm most thankful for is that she had the idea for me to apply to and attend Wheaton Academy in suburban Chicago. Those two years I spent at that school changed me radically for the better, both as a person and as a Christian. So I will forever appreciate that moment.

 

Thank you Priscilla Bartlett, my grandmother, I appreciate the care and attention you gave me. You helped to shape me as a person for the better and I will always appreciate that. I just wish there were more good memories for us in the more recent years.

On my way

It's 10:09 Eastern time and I'm laying in bed in a hotel room in Baltimore. Well, I'm really doing this. I'm uprooting my life for a new one.

My 2013 Honda sedan is a great car, but one thing it is not designed to is haul a bunch of stuff. That car is more loaded than Charlie Sheen after a tough weekend and I wish I could have packed another nine or ten boxes. I still don't know how I can see out the rear view mirror.

I really didn't have any emotions as I pulled out of my driveway in St. Charles at 4:45 this morning. I can be pretty sentimental at times, but this really feels like it's all about business. It's not that I want to abandon good memories, but I feel like I need to make this move work.

One of the things I really don't know is once I'm settled in the hotel, is there anything that I will need to go out and buy besides food. I don't plan on doing anything crazy with the food, I think I may be living largely on almond butter sandwiches, fruit, and carrots, until my first check comes in. I don't mind doing that for a while, I really don't.

The other thing that's pretty huge is what apartment will I take? I have three more to see Saturday. By the end of Saturday, I pray I can come to a decision that I'm content with. But one thing I didn't plan on was how these prices can fluctuate day to day. There can be a special for $100 per month, but the staff won't tell you that it expires that day. That just kills trust for me. Hidden catches and a lack of transparency. That happened at an apartment complex that I would have liked to have lived in. Now I'm not so sure I want it anymore. Because what else are they not telling me?

It looks like I need to go to bed bath and beyond to get some good towels. Now I'm not planning on using those until I get into the apartment. But I'm realizing more that it makes sense to invest in some decent towels, as they last longer and absorb moisture better.

So I'll be seeing my father tomorrow. First time I've been with my parents in five years. I really hope this goes well. Jimmy's seafood, I'm counting on you for a great meal.

Not my spirit

Well I've lived in the Midwest for 18 years. And for the first time in those 18 years, I vacationed in St. Louis. And after 27 hours, I'd had enough of St Louis.

Unfortunately the first flight out of Chicago on Saturday left at 10:30 am. American has five flights a day, and the first one doesn't leave till the end of the morning, which makes no sense at all. So I knew since the Mets game started at 3, I had to land, take the train downtown, check into the Hyatt, and hurry over to Paddy O's. My plans nearly got interrupted when the plane landed in Chicago a half hour late. The lavatory wasn't working, but thankfully they didn't delay takeoff just for that. With an hour on board, it's not the biggest concern anyway.

We landed and I jumped right on the red Metrolink line to head downtown. The stop at 8th and Pine was a four block walk east to my hotel which sat right off the Mississippi River and next to the Gateway Arch. My room wasn't even ready at 1 pm so I dropped my duffle bag and backpack at guest services and hurried south to Paddy O's.

The 7 line army came ready to cheer and ready to drink. I drank three Budweiser beers and lunches on two very enjoyable rib tacos. I saw my pal Rodolfo from Houston and I met a guy from Colorado named Dan. We chatted with a father and son from Michigan. It was fun venting about the sorry state of the team, and also sharing stories about baseball, food, and travel.

Then it was time to go. We marched loudly and purposefully up 7th Street to the third base entrance of Busch Stadium. Screaming "let's go Mets" with a thousand other people is just so invigorating. I even got a Tim McCarver bobblehead. Before heading to my seat in section 129, I drank a Schafly summer lager, a very refreshing crisp local beer.

As for the game, it sucked. That scumbag Adam Wainwright reminded us of all the misery he's instilled in us for years. And that asshole Yadier Molina had an RBI double. It was reliving one of the worst sports days ever, even it's 11 years ago. At 2-0 in the sixth inning, I knew it was over. And I was right again, they lost 4-1. But by then, I'd already showered in my room, gotten into clean clothes, and boarded the westbound MetroLink for the Grand station. My destination was the Italian section of St Louis known as the Hill.

I got off the train and had no idea where I was going. I was surrounded by medical and college buildings; I was just looking for the 14 bus. When I realized it only came every 40 minutes, I said screw this, and I summoned an Uber. It was the first of four Ubers I'd use in 20 hours. Without a doubt, one of the worst parts of the city is how hard is to get around without a car.

I was let off at Berra Park, where a little league tournament was going on. I thought the park was named after Yogi, but it was for another guy who passed away in the 60s. I'm sure he was a lovely man anyway. As I walked down the streets, it feels like the classic Italian neighborhood. No parking room, a line of brick houses with nearly manicured yards, eateries on the corners, and most of the businesses were closed by 4 pm. It definitely had that Brooklyn feel to it or even Fell's Point in Baltimore.

My restaurant of choice was Zia's. By 6 pm, there was no room in the bar area to move. They told I'd wait 45 minutes to an hour for a table. I spent the time walking around the neighborhood, noticing the local scene, and sitting on the curb with other people waiting to get in. I refused to sit at the bar as I did not want to face a TV that would have just reminded me of the lousy game. Of course with a lot of people wearing that ugly red, I was reminded of it everywhere I looked.

After 45 minutes I went back in, and I wound up waiting another half hour. Finally I got a table against the wall. I started with toasted ravioli, a staple of St Louis Italian cuisine. I got about ten small raviolis topped with Parmesan asking with a side of marinara with even more cheese. Those suckers are pretty addictive. Crispy and cheesy, they're a great start. The house salad was included and it consisted mostly of iceberg lettuce and red peppers with a ton of cheese tossed in their sweet house dressing which had a distinctive red wine vinegar flavor to it.

For my entree, I went with the chicken speidini. My waiter told me it was one of their most popular dishes. I was given a plate of chicken pieces arranged in a straight line, like a kabob without the skewer. It was served in a light sauce, with proscuitto, mushrooms, and Italian cheese. What impressed me was the seasoning on the chicken. I could taste the garlic and pepper. The chicken had a nice crust on the outside and was very juicy on the inside. It came with a side of shells and I asked for marinara. This was the most disappointing aspect of the meal for me. The sauce was just too sweet, it had no zest or kick. It was just straight tomato.

I passed on dessert as I'd just had a cannoli two days prior and the other two options had chocolate. Three dessert options is just not enough for an Italian restaurant, I'm sorry. The bill was reasonable, $27, and the service was reasonably good. But if this place is one of the best Italian restaurants in St Louis, I'm not sure I'd want to try the others.

I took an Uber to Laclede's Landing, a neighborhood which sits just north of downtown right on the river. It's sort of a step back in time, with a lot of brick buildings and brick roads. I suppose the city is trying to revitalize it by opening up bars and restaurants. I walked into the Morgan St Brewery. I saw they had peach flavored Jeremiah weed sweet tea vodka, so I got that on the rocks mixed with lemonade. But the place was quiet and mostly empty. After fifteen minutes, I was gone. I tried to have fun, as I walked back south to the ballpark village, which has a lot of bars and clubs. I went into Howl at the Moon, a duelling piano bar that I've been to many times in other cities. But this was the first that didn't charge a cover. I hung around for twenty minutes, but I realize I didn't feel like going out drinking by myself especially after a Mets loss. So by ten, I was back in my room for the night.

But I could not get to sleep so easily, between 1 and 2 am, I could hear my neighbors speaking really loudly through the walls. It got so annoying that I called security. The next morning when I woke up, they'd slid a Starbucks gift card under my door. I wish they could have given me a breakfast buffet with the omelet station, but I was thankful that they did anything because I did not expect it.

So Sunday came. I did thirty solid minutes on the elliptical and cashed in my Starbucks card for a green tea peach lemonade. Then it was over to the arch. Even at 8:30 in the morning, I could feel the intense heat and I knew I'd be staying in the shade when possible. To take the ride up in the arch, I had to go through a full metal detector. Electronics, metal, belt, all out. About the only thing I didn't have to do was remove my shoes.

They hooked me up with four other Mets fans, I guess they figured, eh, stick em all together. Basically there are eight separate elevator cars and each one seats five people. But there is so little room in these cars that you can't move during the entire four minute trip. Me first thought was hoping nobody would break wind.

We got up to the observatory deck, 630 feet high and each side had windows to gaze out from. One side showed St Louis and the other side was Illinois. There was nothing really notable ok the Illinois side. But with St Louis we could see some tall buildings, the old courthouse, the dome, and other sights. I thought the whole thing would take an hour, but after five minutes, I was ready to go.

With an hour to kill, I sat in the shade. I took the first river boat ride at 10:30 which took us down the Mississippi and pointed out a few features of the city and its history. Safe to say, this wasn't quite the architectural tour in Chicago, it wasn't even as interesting as Milwaukee.

Hungry as can be, I caught a ride to Pappy's smokehouse. I would never come to St Louis again without visiting here. By 11:30, the line was already twenty or thirty people deep. I had a half rack of ribs, sliced burnt ends, turkey, potato salad, vinegar slaw, and deep fried corn. The first part that impressed me was that my order was ready not even five minutes after I paid. I took a seat, went to wash my hands, filled my sweet tea, sat back down, and I had my food within a minute.

The ribs were seasoned nicely, and the apple and cherry wood gave them that subtle smoke flavor. The meat was juicy, as it came off the bone easily but it didn't collapse off the bone. The original sauce was well balanced and worked perfectly. The turkey was juicy as well, the burnt ends surprised me though. I expected cubes, but I got sliced meat. I used the hoodoo sauce on the beef. The slaw and salad were both fine, but the corn was crazy good. I don't think I can go back to boiled corn again. This corn was sweet and satisfying and I'll have no problem flossing later. It doesn't even bug me that they're missing cornbread from the menu, the fried corn makes up for it. I only wish they had more dessert options than just toffee chocolate cookies.

It was 1 pm and I really didn't know what else to do. I thought about vising the city museum, but I just walked the two miles back to the hotel. The Mets were dead by the third inning and not wanting to suffer anymore, I just left, getting to the airport five hours before my flight. But it gave me time to organize, and edit pictures, and play two podcasts.

And it's almost time for Samoa Joe vs Brock Lesnar...

Moving forward and upward

I'm getting closer to 40 than to 30 now. It seems that 35 is the age when people tend to stop and take a look at their life and ask themselves where their life is headed. It's not so much about day to day or even the next year. All of a sudden, you realize you're not as young as you used to be and the long term future comes into a clear, vivid focus.

At the beginning of 2017, I was feeling disillusioned and frustrated with where I was living. I was getting sick of my social life. It seemed 80% of my interacting outside of work was done online. That's not healthy in my eyes. In fact, the highlight was occasional Yelp events at restaurants, bars, and fitness clubs throughout the suburbs.

I have to admit, and I'm not proud of it, but every time I see anything referencing the 2016 World Series, I want to punch someone or spit on the banner. It's cost me friendships, and it's just not something I want to be around. So the sports frustration is really bothering me, to the point of where I stopped going to church since the bass player at the one I went to wore a freaking Cubs game on stage.

Also, work was incredibly frenetic, with people losing their jobs, and knowing none of us had a chance to get a raise or a promotion. So for almost two years, I've been working for two things: the steady paycheck and the students.

And there is a very personal factor here. My father. He talked for years about taking chances and moving. But he never did it. He never left the Northeast. He has his pattern, go to work, read, and watch sports. There's no adventure in his life. While I know he loves me, I don't want to emulate his life. I want to take a few more risks, be a little more spontaneous.

So with these factors in mind, I promised myself that I would make a major change in my life for the better. Now I didn't want to iron down what that change would look like. It could be a relationship, a new job, a new hobby, or something totally different.

That time is coming for me. This could really be happening right now in late June. About three weeks ago, I got an email from an HR worker from a college in Virginia. He asked me if I would be interested in an assistant manager of financial aid position. It was very difficult getting him on the phone, and he's not the most organized guy ever. That's kind of an important quality for someone in HR. Anyway, I had a 45 minute interview with three managers on a Monday, which was ten days ago, followed by another 45 minute follow up with my direct manager. I liked that she used to work in the system I'm in now, so she knows my background and how I've been working. At the end of that conversation, she told me I would be notified early on in the following week.

Monday came and I heard nothing. I didn't think too much of that, but I was hoping to hear something back by Tuesday. I had just finished lunch at Shake Shack, it was a double smoke shack burger with fries and an Arnold Palmer. I was walking back to work, a little tight on time. I was walking on Ohio street, and I felt my phone vibrate. I looked at the screen and I had a voicemail from Virginia. I started to feel excited and immediately called the HR rep back.

Sure enough, he offered me the position starting in mid July. In the next 30 hours, I completed my background check consent, welcome letter, and onboarding paperwork. And now it's Thursday night and I'm sitting on an American Eagle CRJ700 jet plane in seat 16A heading to Norfolk to scout the area.

I believe all that's left is for the background check to be finished. I'm not ready to give my notice to my current job or to announce the news publicly until I know that's clean. Hopefully they don't check my old Twitter account!

I know good and well that this is a risk I'm taking. I don't really know anyone in the Hampton Roads region. There will be a whole lot less variety in terms of food and recreation than what I have in the city of Chicago and in the suburbs. And this school is privately owned, it's not a huge university owned by the state.

But in the other hand, look at the benefits. Higher pay. My first opportunity to be a manager. Cheaper cost of living. Better weather. The beach. A chance to start over.

The deal is maybe 95% closed. I'm still feeling a little guarded, since it isn't totally done. Though there is no getting around the fact that my level of excitement is soaring as I anxiously wait for this plane to touch down in Norfolk. It's a new chapter in my life. It's much needed change. And I pray it's a rewarding one for me, personally and professionally.

Heartache tonight set list

Heartache tonight
The long run
Already gone
Peaceful easy feeling
In the city
New kid in town
The boys of summer
Tequila sunrise
Lying eyes
The heart of the matter
One of these nights
Funk 49
Life in the fast lane
My daddy was a handsome devil
Take it easy
Hotel California
Desperado