Manipulation

I know a guy in New York and I'll call him somewhere between a friend and an acquaintance. We're both fans of the Jets and Rangers, but we are complete opposites spiritually and politically. Not the biggest issue in the world, but that's just how it is. We've hung out twice, talked a couple of times, but he's not a guy I consider a close friend. 

A couple of months ago, I had received a text from him saying he could not be my friend anymore because of a tweet that I liked. He didn't reference what the tweet was or what the subject matter was. I just ignored it. 

Within a couple of weeks, he said he'd be willing to have a conversation with me. Not that I was dying for that to take place! I figured it would just blow over. I've had political conversations and ive found the previous to be unproductive and frustrating; it wasn't worth my time. 

So then this weekend, I liked a post of his about the Rangers and within ten seconds, I received a text message from this individual. He said he'd add me back on social media if I would just admit that I was wrong to like the tweet. I still didn't know what tweet he was talking about! 

Then he did something that angered me, disgusted me, and scared me. He texted me a screenshot of the tweet someone else had written. Basically it was that no one is responsible for someone else's suicide. And if they're not straight, it's not because of a bully, it's because they know what they're doing is wrong. I'm not saying I fully agree with it. I'm not happy when anyone commits suicide. But suicide is somebody's personal decision. And certain things are still wrong no matter what pop culture wants us to believe and no matter what someone feels in a given moment. 

When I asked why he took and kept a screenshot, he smugly replied "Because I don't forget."

I wouldn't admit being wrong at first. I explained it was misconstrued and I didn't advocate for suicide. He didn't give a damn about my explanation or my perspective. He told me for once, to take some responsibility and don't be holier than thou. I told him I wasn't on trial. He said he wanted to be my friend again but if I couldn't admit to being wrong, we couldn't go forward. 

So his method of reconciling was to manipulate me, to blackmail me, to bully me. Normally, I would have told him to piss off. But because he was so low in character  to take and keep a screenshot, I decided to give in even though I didn't mean it. I said it was wrong and I would like him to delete the screenshot. I don't know if he did, but he said he was a man of his word, so maybe he did.  

This wasn't a friend. This was a guy driven by ego and bitterness. And that's not the kind of person I want in my inner circle. 

MLB Standings Prediction

American League

East

NY Yankees    98-74

Tampa Bay      87-75

Toronto           78-84

Boston             71-91

Baltimore        58-104

Central

Cleveland        86-76

Chicago           85-77

Minnesota       82-80

Kansas City     65-97

Detroit             60-102

West

Oakland           85-77

Houston           84-78

Anaheim          83-79

Texas               80-82

Seattle             72-90

National League

East

Philadelphia    88-74

Atlanta            87-75

NY Mets         85-77

Washington     81-81

Miami             59-103

Central

Cincinnati        87-75

St. Louis          86-76

Chicago           84-78

Milwaukee      75-87

Pittsburgh        66-96

West

Los Angeles    98-74

Arizona           85-77  

San Diego       80-82

Colorado         78-84

San Francisco  70-92

World Series
NY Yankees over Atlanta

Where Do I Fit

I am desiring community so much. I am blessed to have the Virginia Jets Fans as well as two Meetup groups. But I want that regular church community. And First Baptist in Norfolk makes sense. Good location, good size, good services, lots of Sunday options. 

I've tried four out and each had pros and cons. I was heading to one in particular today and I saw a sign outside the door that said 25-40. I barely still qualify so I walked inside. There were maybe five people in there at the time, two couples and a cute girl who had a ring on. 

I met the leaders, Dave and Sharon (I wish their last name was Ramsey). Very nice and welcoming, just as any leader would hopefully be. Then a married couple came in. Then another. And another. On and on. Before long, every seat was filled. I counted. Ten married couples and two women whose husbands were gone.

And me, the single schmuck. 

Oh and the topic? Divorce. When Dave said during the lesson we were sitting next to our spouse our future spouse, the feeling went from awkward to disgusted. I walked right out of the room. 

I don't want to quit. I like the church. But I don't want to be the guy who walks into the church auditorium, sits for an hour, and leaves without engaging with a soul. Maybe that's why it matters. The journey will go on.

Six Weeks Removed

Wow, this is one of those times where I haven’t written anything in six weeks, but it only feels like six days. Usually it feels the other way around. Ok let’s drop our 10 hits.

1) First and foremost, let’s talk about work. After 19 months of working at Tucano’s, I have given them my notice. Why am I giving my notice? Let me count the ways.

·        A more free social life

·        I have met certain financial goals, such as eliminating all my debt and funding my emergency fund

·        Physical toll on my feet and back from walking six hours at a time

·        Many lousy tippers in this area. I will not stereotype, but you learn that certain types of people are better at tipping than others

·        I don’t respect my co-workers

I will stay there through Valentine’s Day weekend, however. On that Saturday, we’ll be charging a little extra, so it might be one last payday. As of this writing, I have 4 shifts over 3 weekends left to go. And there’s only one time when I work back to back days.

2) In the interim, I’ve begun a new sidejob, delivering groceries through Shipt. Now, is it the most lucrative job I’ve ever had? Not exactly. But it so easy and the flexibility is what makes the difference. In reality, it isn’t something I need to do to make a living. But I can sneak an order or two in before or after work and then when I have days off, I can spend half a day doing it. Right now, I’m making $8-10 per order and it usually takes 45 minutes to an hour of my time. Considering a typical shift at Tucano’s would pay me $50-$60, I’m making about the same amount of money per hour and that’s even if the Shipt customer doesn’t even tip me. Throw in the flexibility and the lack of strain on my body, and it’s a much better deal. The only drawback is the additional driving, which means buying a little more gas.

3) I purchased a ticket to see the Oak Ridge Boys outside Washington D.C. I only remember one concert I’ve seen of theirs, and that was around 2005 in Elgin, IL. I know Mom and Dad took me to a few of their shows when I was a kid, but that was the age when I couldn’t handle loud noises. These guys are in their 70s so who knows how many more years they’ll continue to tour as is. Gonna be a privilege.

4) Mom recommended I try a run at NC State this weekend. Now keep in mind, this is with 2 days’ notice, so it was too late to sign up anyway. But the gimmick is you run from the famous belltower for 2.5 miles east, then eat a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts, and then run another 2.5 back to the belltower. The challenge is to do it in under one hour. Now I can run an 8k in 36 or 37 minutes, so I’m not worried about the running. I’m actually more worried about the 2,400 calories! Well, I have 12 months to prepare anyway.

5) Speaking of which, I had to take care of mom for a couple of days after she had what she called eye surgery. Well as it turned out, nothing was wrong with her eye, it was actually a brow lift, so it was a cosmetic procedure. I had to monitor 5 medications, plus ice, plus 2 different eyedrops. It was a lot, but she’d have done the same thing for me.

6) Nine years of Yelp Elite status! And now with the Tucano’s job about behind me, now I can probably start going to more events. Every Elite event, it feels like I’m meeting everyone all over again. But when I can only get to one every 2-3 months, I guess that’s the result.

7) Double Bitter Valentine from Alewerks. Perfect beer for lonely single SOB’s like me as Valentine’s Day approaches.

8) Two days till the world gets the honor of watching a Super Bowl without Satan representing the AFC. It’ll be nice to watch one of those games again for the first time in 3 or 4 years, whatever it is. Kansas City, San Francisco, doesn’t make much difference to me but I would like to see Coach Andy Reid finally win one and get over the hump.

9) Tonight, I’m hosting a VIP Party at Guy Fieri’s Dive & Taco Bar. I have about 50 to 60 people expected to come right now. I am certainly excited, but I know myself pretty well and with me, this goes one of two ways. I either have a fantastic time, but if I am feeling left out, I tend to retreat to myself and after enough time, I get bored and I leave. As the party host, that would not be a wise idea. So I have to be prepared if I have that feeling of exclusion starts to come over me.

This Christmas

2019 was a pretty long year with a lot of hard work. It felt like it took a long time, which is not to say it dragged, but now the end has come on so suddenly. Thanksgiving came especially late this year, so it seems like we jumped form that holiday right into December without a chance to take a breath. and I didn't do anything on Thanksgiving but lift weights, work at Tucano's, and watch Thursday Night football. I didn't see any family or friends, so I didn't mind turning the page on this particular Thanksgiving.

Well my mom and dad both did something that neither have them have ever done at the same time before. They both asked me for a specific Christmas present. Dad asked for a B&N gift card to help him purchase a new tablet. I was going to get him $30, but then when I was told I could get an extra $10 if I purchased a $50 card, the choice was pretty much made for me.

As for Mom, I used to get her certificates to the nail salon or candles or a massage. This year though, she had a different plan. She told me since her retirement, she's been dog sitting and while that's going on, she needs something to occupy her time. then she mentioned Lego Architecture, which are these 3D Lego puzzles or various city skylines and landmarks. So one that she mentioned she wanted was the Statue of Liberty puzzle. I figured ok, how much could that be. I googled it and the puzzle was made of 1600 pieces and cost $120. Well I made the purchase at Target, so she better like it!

I will be visiting her in Cary for two days, thankfully I was given Christmas Eve off, paid. That wasn't even a certainty until recently. But her plans for Christmas Eve are for us to go to the Duke University Chapel for service and the dinner at Vin Rouge, a pretty bougie French restaurant. Now I'm not a fine dining guy, but this place receives rave reviews and has won many awards. So this could be a unique experience, why not embrace it?

As for me, I swear the only things I would really like are gift cards and some financial assistance to send me to Wisconsin for the Ryder Cup. Thank God the airfare is covered, because I'm thinking I'll be staying in a hotel room for five nights and renting a car. I might have to haul a bunch of protein bars just to save money on food.

I think in the next two weeks, I will do a year end post, looking back on what has happened and take some time to look forward to the future. Shoot, based off Blogger's statistics, less than ten people are going to click on this anyway, and less than half probably have ever heard of me. So what risk am I really taking at this point?

For the first time, I finally listened to Elvis' Christmas album. It's just so good, even 62 years after its initial release, it strikes that blend of classic feel and contemporary.

Races run

Every year, I try to push myself to do a new running challenge. I want to push myself jut a little more and learn what I am capable of. Well in 2019, I made a decision to run two races in the same weekend: a 5k and 10k in downtown Norfolk. I trained for eight weeks, running about 5 days a week on average. This training went better than this past spring when I started experiencing pain in my left knee. That has since passed, but I simply wasn't able to give my best back on St Patrick's Day weekend.

This time, I felt pretty ready to attack the course. The weather was cool, but not bitterly cold, and thankfully we didn't have to deal with any rain. On Friday night, I drove downtown to get my race packet, which had my bibs and two synthetic t-shirts. I swear after running all these races, I'm never going to have to buy a t-shirt again. I went home and ate my spaghetti pie and salad and drank about 24 ounces of water. OK, I snuck in a little pumpkin pie.

I woke up Saturday at 5:15, ate a banana and a slice of whole wheat bread with almond butter, stretched, dressed, and drove the 30 minutes to the MacArthur parking garage. The walk to the park was about four blocks, and as soon as I checked in my dry bag, I started began playing some music, trying to get myself in the zone. Confident, ready, nobody is stopping me, I've got this. Wrestling Themes like Undisputed Era, Samoa Joe, and Taz did the trick.

So the 5k run began at 8 am sharp. My plan was to run a good steady race, but not too fast, I wanted to make sure I was ready and healthy for the long run on Sunday. I started playing "Born to Run" and it got me off to a good start. The only part was running over cobblestones at two different points, I had to be really careful to not roll my ankle. The last half mile or so took us right by the James River. I was able to turn it on pretty hard and finish at 21:45, the best time I've ever had at a 5k. I was able to maintain a 7 minute mile pace, which I was very proud of.

I celebrated with three Blue Moon beers and chilling an an outdoor couch while a cover band played classic rock. I don't mind Blue Moon, but gosh, it really needs to be hot out to enjoy it. Otherwise, it tastes like orangeade. As I walked back to my car, I noticed that my right calf was pretty strained, I knew I'd need to massage and stretch it before Sunday.

So onto Day 2. For the second time in my life, I was running a 10k, 6.25 miles. I was up at 5 am, had the same breakfast, albeit one extra slice of bread and almond butter and I downed a pre-workout drink after I arrived at the parking garage. Temperature wise, the atmosphere felt more comfortable, but it was also a little more windy. And after a full night of rain, I knew I'd have to watch for any puddles on the course. I began to get my playlist organized on YouTube:

Pre Race
Shield WWE Theme- Special Ops
Samoa Joe WWE Theme-Destroyer

Race
Surfing USA-Beach Boys
Born to Run-Bruce Springsteen
Safe in New York City-AC/DC
Thunderstruck-AC/DC
Hold On Tight-ELO
Rock and Roll Is King-ELO
Mama Said Knock You Out-LL Cool J
Clutch- American Wolves Theme from Ring of Honor
Metalingus-Edge WWE Theme
Eye of the Tiger- Survivor
Gonna Fly Now- Bill Conti

So we started at 7:40, about ten minutes behind schedule. Here's the advantage I had that I did not expect. The half marathon was happening at the same exact time as the 10k. Unlike the 10k runners, halfers had pace groups to help keep them on schedule. About a minute in, I saw the 1 hour, 45 minute sign in front of me. I began doing a little math in my head and realized that they were running at about eight minutes a mile. I thought that's the exact pace I want to be on here, so let me stick with them. And so for the first three miles, about half the course, I stuck with that group. The worst thing I dealt was about two miles in, I ran over another cobblestone and nearly rolled my ankle. Thankfully, after a few steps, I knew it was going to be okay.

I split from the halfers just after three miles and as they ran north, I ran across a pedestrian bridge, and back through downtown. I knew I had a good pace going, and more than anything, I wanted to be able to maintain it the rest of the race, which I figured would take about 25 minutes. 

The last mile run down the James River path was quite difficult, especially going into the wind. But I knew that it was same finishing stretch from Saturday and I was not going to stop. I was pretty surprised that there ere almost no other runners around me. I passed one wheeled runner towards the end but there was no one in front of me. As the finish line came into view, I began to move my arm up towards the crowd, trying to get them louder. Of course, I had music going, so I don't even know how loud they got anyway. I crossed the line at 47:23, a full 90 seconds faster than a year before. Another personal best, and I finished the race 15th out of 800 finishers. But what shocked me was when I check the Athlinks app and saw that I won my division by five minutes! I'd never placed in a division for any race in my life. Now by no means do I think that I was as good as some of the halfers. But hey, I did my race, they did theirs! I drank 4 Blue Moon's, and I could have probably drank 8 or 9 with no problem. 

So what's next? I have had several people in my ear telling me that I could complete a half marathon. Maybe I could. Maybe I will.

Southern Vacation, part 4

Woke up at 6 for the sunrise

Walk with mom

Five Daughters donuts

$29 for 4 plus a milk and coffee

Ate them overlooking the beach in Seaside

Private beach

Getting plenty of color

Very quiet
People just sitting on the beach

Windy

Pompano Joe's
Red snapper

Dolphin cruise
Saw about 25 or 30  of them
Got a little cold

Seagulls 

Key lime pie at PJ's late at night

Gym
Forest preserve walk
Steamed shrimp and quinoa salad from Publix
Judy Garland movie
Banana cream pie at Emeril's
Drive back to North Carolina

Southern Vacation, part 3

Run outside on the beach

30 minutes

Hung by the pool
Too windy

Craft restaurant
Greatest onion rings ever
Undercooked lamb burger

Stein Mart 

Rain starts
Working on Mom's resume
Run to Office Max to get the photo added and keep it within format

No dinner, no appetite

Yahtzee
Typical Jets disaster on national TV

Southern Vacation, part 2

Did you know you can be in Florida and be on Central time?

We drove straight to the condo, which is right across the street from the Gulf of Mexico

Dropped my stuff off

Great Southern Cafe
Lunch
Seafood celebration
Pineapple guava mojito

Book store

Record store

Smallest post office

Food trucks
Five Daughters Donuts caught my eye

On shoes

$140

Greg Norman outlet

New belt

Church on the beach

Pizza-mediocre

Watched a little football, but by the end of the first half, I was spent. 

Clint Black setlist

The Shoes You're Wearing 

Summer's Coming

A Better Man

When My Ship Comes In

Untangling My Mind

Mama Tried

State of Mind

No Time To Kill

Like the Rain 

A Good Run of Bad Luck

Time of the Preacher

Better and Worse 

Killing Time

We Tell Ourselves

Nobody's Home

Been There

Are You Sure Waylon Done It This Way

Nothing But the Taillights

Put Yourself In My Shoes

Tuckered Out 

Beaten Up

I swear there should be something in the world that I am just naturally good at. I really don't know what it is. I'd like to think that I'm a great writer, but I swear it becomes harder and harder to write something original. And a lot of times I feel like my writing sounds the same the more I read different things that I have written over the years. Maybe it's a style, but maybe it's a lack of ability, I don't know.

I really wonder what I have to offer anybody in a friendship or romantic relationship besides loyalty and the sincere desire to be accepted.  And the only things I know a lot about are sports, running, music, food, travel, and faith. How could I ever pass for anyone's prize?

 My body feels like it is getting more and more tired between my shoulders, my legs and my feet. The hairs on my head are graying. And I really wonder if I wasted something. Like did I waste some kind of gift that God gave me? I wonder if He can ever truly accept me when I die, if I failed to live a life of any significance.  My intentions have always been the best, but the road to hell is paved with them. The older I get, the more I wonder if my life means a thing to anybody besides my parents. 

Turning into November

1) It's just starting to get cool in the evening, but not to where I need a jacket. And to think if I was in Chicago, I'd already be dressing in layers. 

2) I'm beginning to gather my fall recipes that have become staples. Turkey chili, pumpkin pancakes, Tex Mex chicken parm, and roast pork loin with sweet potato wedges. And I'm sure there will be more to come. 

3) I swear I need to spend more of these evenings off the cell phone and social media and more in books and quiet reflection. Seeing the fools exhort their foolish views, unabashed hate, and childish language on social media reminds me of the kind of person I don't want to be. 

4) I truly don't think I can remember the last time all my sports teams were this bad.  Are you so wonder when one of my teams would win a championship again. Now I really wonder when 1 of them will make the playoffs ever again.

5)  I'm glad I got to see Chris Stapleton perform in concert, it was just a shame that his wife wasn't there to join him on vocals. And oh my gosh, did my feet ever get cold during the last 2 hours.

Southern Vacation, part 1

This schedule summarizes me taking a vacation. On Saturday, I worked 9-4 and 5-10:30. I was in bed by 11 pm. On Sunday, I got up at 1:30 am, ran 6.3 miles, taking a 5 a.m. flight to Charlotte and then onto Destin, FL. Vacation time is well deserved and it's on!

Ok, story from the Newport News airport. Guy in front of me is checking at the airport. I can tell from his bag he's a marine. Agent asks if he's flying to Charlotte or Philly, those are the only airports you can fly to from Newport news. says he doesn't know. He's a Marine and doesn't know where to fly! And factor in that he's defending our country... this doesn't exactly instill me with confidence. 

Anyway, I flew into Charlotte, which has some of the worst amenities for a major airport in the country. People actually think the Great American Bagel is like a breakfast destination, the line was maybe 20 people long. As a NY guy, their bagels are the equivalent of Taco Bell to someone from Texas. Give me the tomazzo bagel and let's just move on. And their PZA is just about the worst pizza I have ever had. Sour sauce, salty cheese, I mean I've had frozen pizzas that tasted like Frank Pepes by comparison. And even better, you pay the outrageous airport prices for it! But thank God for the Admirals Club, I got my free avocado toast with egg, tomato,  crumbled cheese, red onion, smoked salmon, and s&p. It tasted great, but my gosh, one bite and the ingredients exploded all over the carpet, my chair, my jeans... and maybe one crumb made it to the mini sized paper plate. 

Newport News was rainy, Charlotte was cloudy. Give me some of that Florida sun, because as hard as I've worked, I've earned this. And praise be to God that even if I'm not a millionaire, I still have some spare income where I can have some fun and have these unique experiences. 

Chris Stapleton setlist

Second One to Know

Without Your Love 

Nobody to Blame

Might As Well Get Stoned 

Parachute

Millionaire

Trying to Untangle My Mind

Fire Away

I Was Wrong

Starting Over

Whiskey and You

Hard Living

Get Down to Arkansas

Traveller 

Outlaw State of Mind

Death Row

Free Bird/The Devil Named Music

Broken Halos

Tennessee Whiskey 

Midnight Train to Memphis

Fall in session

1) I haven’t had a legit vacation in a long time. I guess the last one that lasted a reasonable amount of time was when I went back to Chicago for Matt’s wedding. I’m now 9 days away from my first trip to Destin, FL and it can’t come fast enough. My work days have become far more intense going from 2-3 appointments per day to 5-6 per day. One of our main processors has been out for the last month and due to family issues, we don’t know when she’s going to be back. Plus we’re training a new hire and she’s a long way from being ready to have appointments with students. So right now the load of meeting with people is on me. And I find that by the end of each week, my eyes are getting heavier and my patience is getting shorter, especially with people asking where their money is and I can’t answer the question, since that’s not my cross to bear. So a break is sorely needed and well earned.

2) So I’m taking Friday off from both my jobs. Well Friday was scheduled for my day job. Here’s what I have planned: Top Golf, Dave’s BBQ, Aquarium, Reaver Beach Brewery, Chris Stapleton concert

3) I’m going heavy on the pumpkin. Pumpkin waffles from Trader Joes, making pumpkin pecan pancakes this weekend. But no pumpkin spice lattes. I’m not saying I would never try one, but I’m not about to spend my own money on a cup of coffee for myself.

4) I think I need to listen to some more Jon Pardi music

5) Trying a new herb garden. No mint, no basil this time, since those are more for the summer and then tend to sprout up like weeds and overwhelm everything else in the garden. This time, it’s oregano, rosemary, parsley, sage, cilantro, and chives. Let’s see how these grow.