Sunday, Nov 16
I actually should start with Saturday, November 15. I had a really good day trip with the new girl, we went to Wilmington for the afternoon and evening, and that's about 4 hours of driving. Good company, aside from me finding out she loved Carrie f'ing Underwood. And I thought it was bad enough that she was a Cubs fan. But for real, it feels like it could be the beginning of something that might actually last a while.
So after church, I'm doing a few deliveries and while I was out my 2017 Hyundai Elantra stopped on me twice while I was driving it. Just went right out, stopped moving. I would have to turn the car off and start it back up. The car had no issues starting up, it was stopping randomly when I was driving slowly and making turns.
Wednesday, Nov 19
Fast forward a few days. I had planned to take this day off for a while. Mom had an appointment at the UNC Medical Center to find out about her blood. I had been to an appointment with her before, but this one was following a few MRI's and more in depth examining.
On the way into the parking lot of her apartment complex, my car stopped again. This was the third time. And later, on my way home, same thing. But in between, the doctor told us she has a blood disorder or mutation. Essentially, the platelets are too high and need to be monitored. Baby aspirin helps, there are some medications that can help as well. Unfortunately, some of them are not good for people dealing with cancer and she's dealt with skin cancer for the last 15 years. There is another medication that is incredibly expensive. Translation, if it doesn't get covered by insurance, we cannot afford it. The way the doctor described it was you'd have to be Elon Musk to afford it.
Thursday, Nov 20
The day began like any other. Wake up, leave for work around 7:50 and get to work around 8. Around 2:30, my boss called me on the hone. Unusual, considering his office is next to mine. He asked me to come to his boss' office. I knew it wasn't for a promotion. I paced the floor in the waiting area for nearly 10 minutes. I was called in. It was my boss, his boss, and HR. And they told me I was out. My boss didn't want to do it, I know he didn't. It was a couple of idiots concerned about image management because I engaged in a political debate on social media. I wonder if I had made a liberal argument if I would have gotten in trouble...
So I left in disgust and disgrace, of course with security watching me. Left behind my laptop, my keys, my ID badge. Such a dehumanizing experience, to say the least. I felt completely abandoned by a school I worked for, I volunteered for, had moved to a different fucking state for. None of it mattered. All that mattered was their image. I managed to get my clunker of a car home.
I called mom, she came over right away. The sick part was we planned to take Friday off and go car shopping. Now I was doing it without a job. We still went to Carmax and searched for an hour or so, though my headspace was all over the place. I don't remember much except there was a 2025 Corolla with 2,000 miles on it for about $24,000. Seemed to good be true, but there was no way I was going to make a purchase that evening.
I spoke with several people (Alexis, Kristal, Ryan, etc) and they were all very supportive and they prayed for me. It mattered because in that moment, I needed every bit of support and positive energy and spiritual strength I could cling to.
Friday, Nov 21
So I stayed at mom's over night so we could get an early start on the car shopping. And deep down I really did not want to spend that night in my apartment by myself. We drove south to the Cary Automall on the Apex and Cary border. We started with Honda, since I've driven a lot of those before and I know they are a reliable ride. Nothing really got to me, it was just a couple of ok cars.
Then we drive down the street Johnson Subaru, which is where Mom got her most recent vehicle, a green Forrester. Her sales rep, Godfrey, was available and he did a great job working with me on my parameters, what I wanted to have, and what I didn't care about in a car. After about 30 minutes, I chose a premium 2022 white Subaru Crosstrek. Premium because it had a roof rack and heated seats. 39,000 miles was more than reasonable. Four hours later, I traded in my disaster of a Hyundai and drove off the lot in my new car. Ok, my new certified used car!
From there, we went to McGregor's Ale House down the street from the Automall. I was surprised that the bar was quite crowded on a Friday afternoon around 3 pm. Sure I was pleased with the vehicle, but considering I had dropped a lot of money and wasn't in the best frame of mind, I hadn't eaten anything except a handful of peanuts at the dealership. So I guess I needed some depression food. Enter the Big Ben burger. Three beef patties covered with American cheese, lettuce, tomato, onions & pickles all inside toasted brioche. It came served high on a layer of fries, only to be topped in front of me with a pour of bacon queso. Not a bad buy for 20 bucks. The burger patties themselves were pretty ordinary, nothing special. The bacon queso on the fries was really heavy, but when it's one of those tough periods, you don't really mind! I don't recall anything else the rest of the day, except I probably went home and collapsed on the couch.
Saturday, Nov 22
In the morning, I headed to Eno River in Durham to meet with my hiking group from church. I had communicated in the group app that I was dealing with some things over the week. One guy from the group let me borrow an extra laptop and he said he would have it ready by Sunday. That was a great piece of help. From there, I donated plasma, since I can still make that money and I believe I did a couple of grocery deliveries.
Sunday, Nov 23
At NewHope Church, I got the laptop from Matt. It's very heavy, but at least the thing works. It's certainly functional, but there was one major issue. MS Office wasn't on it. I could view Word documents (resume, cover letter, references, etc), but I could not create or edit. And to install it, I would have had to pay an annual subscription of at least $100. So to create or edit a Word document, which is necessary for resumes, cover letters, etc, I would still have to drive to my mother's apartment or to the library.
I put the computer in the backseat of my Crosstrek, and headed back inside, and got a cup of hot cider. It's one of those ciders that stays lava hot for 15 minutes and somehow turns lukewarm within a minute.
I took my seat in the front row, right in front of the drums. I wanted my head to be rocked, nothing less. I wanted the spirit to shake me. And by the third song, I broke down crying. I don't even remember what song it was and I don't know if I need to. But I had not cried in church in at least a decade. The young adults pastor spoke about forgiveness. And I realized that I had a mixture of gratitude and resentment towards my previous employer. And I realized over the next days that forgiving their betrayal would take time.
There was no desire for me to go out and watch the Jets game that afternoon. Restaurants just didn't seem to make sense in that moment.
Monday, Nov 24
It was a new week and it was time to get aggressive. I knew I had to go to my office and clean it out at 12:30. But before that, I had a Zoom meeting with Mike, who is the groups pastor and also counsels men. We spoke for about an hour, I asked for some resources, some Scripture, some direction in my prayer life. I am not the best at saying I will go read the Bible and pray for a while. I need a plan, I like having a little bit of structure. He did email me that day.
So then it was the 5 minute drive to what felt like a funeral. I wore all black on purpose. I saw my boss' boss walking one level up from where I was sitting and I refused to acknowledge her. Especially as much as I had supported her becoming a full time hire. So I went in, the disgrace of a HR head and my boss were there. I packed up my office and left. But before I did, I quietly asked my boss if I could give him a call. And he said that would be fine. In my soul, I know he did not want me to go. His hands were tied. He even got my drinks out of the fridge and put my documents on a flash drive for me to take with me. I guess it was his way of showing support.
I headed straight to the Cary Regional Library. In my 19 months of living in North Carolina, I had not set foot inside a library. But I was not going to let evil win. I was not going to be beaten. I know that in order to recover, I must take action. I parked, walked right up to the circulation desk, and got my card. And between that afternoon and Tuesday, I applied for over a dozen jobs.
Wednesday, Nov 26
This was a scheduled off day from work anyway. The plan was to go to Charlotte and I wasn't going to change that. My destination was the Billy Graham Library, about 2 hours west. I had planned to visit several times in the last few years, but I believe this was the time God wanted me to first encounter it. Previously, I wanted to visit. Now, I needed to visit.
Before I went inside though, I actually ate a turkey sandwich from home, just trying to eat out as little as possible. The staff was incredibly friendly, as one would expect. After I finished my tour of the exhibits, which began with Bessie the talking cow, two people prayed for me, including the chaplain of the Library. The outside grounds are nicely kept and I like that the library/museum has the farmhouse feel to it. It feels very homey and cozy. Great bookstore, there is a lot of good merch for sale. Although $30 for a coffee mug was a little too over the top for me.
Let us always remember the legacy of the Grahams and may we always be aware of God's divine and loving presence.
I skipped the Library's Dairy Bar. So now I was ready for lunch. I hadn't been to a Bobby Flay's burgers in maybe 10 years, and that was at Mohegan Sun. I placed my order at the counter and took a seat in one of the booths. First of all, major props for having the Coke freestyle machine, plus brewed sweet and unsweet tea. The pistachio shake arrived first, I like that pistachios are mixed in and they are also sprinkled on top of the whipped cream. I saved it for the end, but that shake was remarkably good. The crunch of the nuts balanced the ice cream beautifully. I ordered the classic palace burger, medium. It was cooked as requested, and I would say the burger was ok, similar to a Shake Shack level. I would have liked an additional patty option to make it a double. But oh my, those buttermilk onion rings. Super thick, full of seasoning, a great crunch on that batter. Plus, the horseradish honey mustard is such a great dipping sauce for them. Yes the restaurant is pricey, the costs make Five Guys look like McDonald's. But it is high quality. And the staff was friendly, they were there to clean my table before I could toss anything out.
But the food wasn't the most significant thing that happened while I was in the restaurant. While the shake rested on the table, I got a phone call from my previous employer in Virginia, but the Raleigh branch. I never expected an employer to call me on Thanksgiving Eve, but it happened. And we arranged an interview for the following Tuesday.
Oh and I was feeling so much better, I did have one beer at 4001 Yancey before boarding the train to go downtown. And the Knicks trounced the Hornets, which was to be expected! I did have a 2 hour drive back to Cary, but I didn't mind it all. I'm glad I had a peanut butter sandwich for the ride back. Never made a stop, not even for a Celsius.
Thursday, Nov 27
Thanksgiving was nowhere near the same as the usual. We did do Meals on Wheels where we delivered holiday meals into the hood of east Durham. We waited 90 minutes to get the meals put in our car and then it only took a mere 40 minutes to complete our deliveries and we went home. I watched a lot of football that afternoon. The meal was Japanese food from a take and bake catering service. Sorry to day, but it wasn't all that great. The meat was dry, the veggies wouldn't get warm. Not that great. But I did make spiced pumpkin cookies with dried cranberries and they were a fantastic dessert. Truth be told, I think I like them better out of the freezer than the oven!
Friday, Nov 28
All I can say about this Black Friday is I did 19 deliveries and made over $320. That's almost one week of unemployment!
Sunday, Nov 30
After hitting the gym, I headed to church. Same seat as last week, front row, right in front of the drums. I did not cry during worship this time though! Nick was speaking and the title of the message was Worth the Wait/Weight. And I know a lot about that concept right now. I'm waiting for a new job and I'm dealing with the weight of these challenges. But the main point that I took was a quote from an author that he did not credit, he left it anonymous. And the quote goes like this.
Who you become while you're waiting is as important as what you're waiting for
I knew I had heard something like that concept. And so I researched it and realized my old Teaching Pastor from Willow Creek, John Ortberg, wrote it in one of his books. And it's so true. I've prayed it before during my worst times. God, I'm not asking you to change my circumstances until you change me through my circumstances. Pastor Mike gave me the book he had promised, and it was Soul Keeping by...John Ortberg. Another crazy instance of timing. Not coincidence, I don't believe it exists.
That day, I also talked with some different people. By meeting Ryan, it's allowing me to meet other people. For instance, I met Courtney, who volunteers in Guest Services and we talked for about ten And I even saw Reggie, who had done one hike in our group. He had lost his FIL, so we prayed for each other. And I spoke with Abby, who had given the message the prior week. I thought it would take 2-3 minutes. We wound up talking about forgiveness for maybe 10 minutes. I did go watch the Jets game at Rallypoint with the NC Jets group afterwards, I just made sure to only get an iced tea.
Monday, Dec 1
I checked my mailbox. And an envelope was their from the NC Department of Labor. My unemployment got approved. I thought it did not make a huge difference whether I got approved or denied, because if I got denied, I could just do deliveries and it could make as much, if not more money, if I hustled. That said, getting approved gives me more time and I don't have to put as many miles on my car. So it's $350 a week for 3 months. Not a lot, but it's enough to cover rent and a few utilities. I can also make up to 20 percent of my weekly wage without any deductions. So I could make $70 in deliveries per week. The point of this is I have a lot of time to rest, to reflect, to be still. And that is not something I've ever been especially good at.
Tuesday, Dec 2
The day of my first interview, the one with my former employer. And because I do not know who is reading this and I've learned to not trust social media, I'm leaving off the employer names. And it took an hour. I thought it went well, and I was qualified for the job, let's put it that way.
That night, came an email from a local community college. It was for a technical assistant position and we arranged a phone screening for the next day.
Thursday, Dec 4
I had my 15 minute screening call in the afternoon. Again, I thought it went well. I know they had quite a few applicants for it though. So it's just a matter of waiting.
Fri, Dec 5
I didn't have anything planned on Friday. I spent 2.5 hours watching the World Cup draw, and that whole event could have been done in 20 minutes. After that ended, it was off to the library in Cameron Village for an hour to get some work done. Since again, I can't edit Word documents on the borrowed laptop.
From there, I went to Postino, which is in the adjacent parking lot. I had a Yelp event, where I could get a free glass of wine and a free order of donut holes with dipping glazes. Who's going to turn that one down? And I'd been to Postino once before, also for a Yelp event. Waiting on a girl friend (space is there on purpose) and her friend and they left me waiting for an hour and 15 minutes. The staff felt so bad for me, they brought me a free order of meatballs. This time, I sat at the L-shaped bar and there was no one to wait on, thankfully. I started with a chicken mozz panini and cup of Chicken Florentine soup, I hadn't ordered any food out since I lost my job, and I wanted more than just a dessert. Both tasted really good, but there was a little bit of chicken bone in my soup. I told the staff, they comp'd my meal, and even gave me a free glass of Brut champagne after I'd already had my glass of pinot noir. They also asked if I had any food allergies, and I told them chocolate. I'm not really allergic, I just don't like it and I didn't want it with my donuts. So I got caramel and two vanilla glazes. 5 hot ricotta donuts holes, a little powdered sugar, just fantastic.
So it was about 4:45, I'd just finished my food and was just kind of relaxing for a bit after my drinks before heading back into the wintry mix outside. All of sudden, my phone rang and I saw the call was from a small town in North Carolina. And I only knew the name of the town because I had applied for a job there. First of all, calling me at the end of the work day on a Friday seemed kind of strange. But the guy on the phone told me they weren't hiring one job, they were hiring three jobs, including two director roles! We arranged for an interview on Tuesday but he would reach out over the weekend and finalize the details. I was stunned, I had applied there to do what I'd always done, but now I had multiple opportunities. I went from two irons in the fire to five irons in the fire. It was a good feeling. I went home and started prepping.
Saturday, Dec 6
I had one last hike with my guys, sadly it was only 4 of us. Crazy to think we'd had as many as 12 people one one hike and now it was only 4. Umstead Park, 4 miles, good times. After donating plasma, I headed to Mom's. We were going to the Chris Tomlin Christmas concert in Greensboro and it was my first time driving anyone else in my Crosstrek.
We arrived at the church and I stood in the lobby while Mom waited on a long line to use the restroom. While I was there, a guy walked by wearing a sweatshirt of the school that had called me on Friday. Now think about this. He could have been anywhere, wearing any shirt, been in any other part of the building. But he passed by me. I had to stop him and talk to him for a minute. He told me he was an alumnus from about 30 years before. I told him I had an interview tentatively scheduled for Tuesday. At that point, his wife came up and when I told them it was in financial aid, her eyebrows went up. She said her dad worked in that department back in the 1980s. Just crazy.
That aside, it was a really good concert, and I posted the setlist in a separate post. On the 75-minute drive back to Raleigh, I enjoyed my Starbucks iced gingerbread oat chai.
Sunday, Dec 7
After the gym, it was back to church. I got there a little late and I spoke with Tino for a minute before Mike tracked me down. He said he had something else for me and I was figuring it was another book, which I was all in favor of. He took me back to his office, which was a little different, but I thought ok, seems strange for a book. He reached on his shelf for a rectangular-shaped, kind of flat, cardboard box. I couldn't believe it. The church gifted me a brand new Dell laptop. I almost fell down. Didn't cry, but got emotional for sure. I did briefly chat with Abby and Ryan before going to watch the Jets lose again.
The rest of the day was me watching football and getting the laptop set up. It's a great computer, the only things I do miss having are a backlit keyboard and a fingerprint sensor. Outside of that, it's awesome. Great webcam, good memory, fast processing. I'm so friggin' thankful. God has been providing in ways I never expected.
Monday, Dec 8
The once thing that didn't sit well with me was the college never emailed me to set up the interview. Early Monday morning though, they did call and we arranged for a Tuesday morning interview. The strange dynamic is I was interviewing for 3 jobs at the same time. So I wasn't quite sure how to approach the interview. I figured just represent myself well and get to know the interviewers.
Tuesday, Dec 9
I certified unemployment in the morning, and drove 50 minutes south for the interview. It's not my dream to drive that long to work but the opportunity to work 3 remote days every 2 weeks certainly helps. I arrived a little early and I spent about 20 minutes in the chapel praying. Crazy enough, the chapel was conveniently located right next to the building where I was being interviewed. I felt pretty ready.
We had the interview; it was myself, the director, and two others (one in FA, one in accounting). And they grilled me for a good 45-50 minutes. Supervisory questions, software questions, scenario questions. It was not easy and I have to admit there were a couple of questions where I didn't really have answers. I just made sure to put over my desire to learn, my experience, my communication skills, my organization ability, and all the things I thought would make me an asset. But I admit I left the campus not feeling great. I was thinking I might get the counselor role, but I wasn't sure.
That night was the Yelpie Awards in Downtown Chapel Hill. I've been Yelp Elite for 14 years, but have never been to one of these events before. It was held at the Ground Espresso bar and they specialize in making different kinds of espresso martinis. I have to admit they taste pretty good! Carolina Brewery and Mediterranean Deli catered so we had a lot of couscous, tzatziki, etc. I did actually try falafel for the first time and it wasn't too bad. Can't say it'll be a go to for me though.
There was a board posted with Yelpers who had written 50+ reviews, 75+, and 100+. And I was on the 75+. So I've set a goal. In 2026, I will write at least 100 reviews.
There were about 10 awards or so given out. And much to my amazement, I won Yelp Event Superstar of the Year! Got a trophy and everything. Super cool feeling, one of the best awards I've ever received. I chatted with the staff of the bar afterwards and they were super cool. We are all New Jersey natives, so that was a good starting point. We talked about drinks, work, social media, all kinds of things. Just a good night.
Wednesday, Dec 10
Early in the morning, I got a phone call from the school I interviewed with the day prior. And they made me a tentative offer for one of the assistant director roles. It's tentative only because HR has to approve the hire on Monday. And...they have to be on board with the salary. It does not look like I will get I want or even what I think I'm worthy of. But the number he's submitting to HR is right around what I made at my last job. And if that gets approved, I will accept it.
So now it's another 6 day waiting period. Think about it. It was 6 days from the time I lost my job to setting up my first interview. Then it was 6 days from that day until I had the interview. Now I'm waiting 6 more days until Tuesday when I should hear back about the final offer.
It feels so strange to pray for money. It feels selfish to an extent. But it feels like this the last obstacle. I'm feeling led to be at this school. I took a pay cut to move to Raleigh. I don't want to take another one if I have to commute ten times as long also. But the chance to work with student athletes and the NCAA...very intriguing.
Now I wait for Tuesday...
Sunday, December 14
7 Ways to Wait Well. So fitting a sermon for this point in my walk. Adam was talking about growing through waiting, worshipping through waiting, maintaining a holy attitude through the waiting season. And I remember that he said if you don't grow through the waiting season, all you did was wait and what was the purpose of the wait. Gos it hit me hard. I did get to see Courtney again for a few minutes, which was great. She even sat next to me ( with an empty set in the middle) during the service. I might have asked for her number but she had to leave to go volunteer. Not the right time I guess, but I'll see her again.
Monday, December 15
I did apply for 2 other jobs, since I have to do 3 my work search activities. One was for my prior employer in Virginia, same position, but in a remote capacity. They've been trying to fill the position since July. I mean if I'm not qualified for that, I may as well never work again.
For the afternoon, I went to mom's to help with some packing. Also she had the remote followup with the doctor, and it seemed to go ok. It was not about diagnosing, it was more about figuring a medication situation, reducing the platelet count, and keeping the risk of clotting as low as possible, especially when she starts touring again in March. I know she wanted me to be there, but she would never demand I be there. But really, where else would be a more appropriate place for me to be in that moment?
We did play a little bit of Skip-Bo, which I had just bought the week prior for us. 6 bucks at Target, not bad buy at all. It was a good distraction.
Tuesday, December 16
After a very uneven night of attempting to sleep, I got up at 8 and refused to leave my apartment, not even for the gym. It was all about getting this phone call. I had to be ready and fully available for it. I waited all morning...no phone calls. I have to admit, the feeling is incredibly unsettling. Each time this director has, it has either come very early or very late. I was expecting something early in the morning, but it has not happened as of noon.
Update. 4:20 PM. I did get a chest and back workout in. Spoke to my father for a half hour on the phone. Showered. Ate half a chicken. Tried to donate plasma and was denied because my protein isn't high enough. Guess I'm taking this week off from it. I did sit outside on my balcony with a beer and spent some time going through a Bible plan about fear and anxiety. Went through all 7 days in about 20 minutes. Hey, they were short devotionals.
Tom Petty was no theologian, but he was correct when he said the waiting is the hardest part.
Still no phone call...
I'm trying to stay grounded, but the restlessness permeates my soul.
Wednesday, December 17
I decided to get an early start on the day by doing a delivery or two, so I went to the Target in Northwest Raleigh to get a double order done and make some money. I had just finished the orders and I had loaded my car, ready to pull out and all of a sudden, my phone rang.
Sure enough, it was the director from the organization where I am trying to get the job. And he explained HR needed more documentation, they needed this they needed that. Nothing that I needed to provide though.
But the really strange part was while I'm sitting in the parking lot and on the phone, my passenger rear door opened and there was a 60 or 65 year old woman trying to get into my car. Apparently she thought that it was her car. There I am, on the phone with the guy, and suddenly, I think I'm in the middle of a break-in. Wouldn't that have just been fitted considering how the last month is gone?
But the most important part was he emphasized that he wanted me there and I emphasized that I wanted to be there too. I just hate that this has to happen during the holidays when everybody is either sick or out using up their remaining vacation days.
Thursday, December 18
I do give myself credit because I've been in the gym five or six straight days. I've even read the Bible every day for the last 2 weeks. And I did get some grocery shopping done.
I even went over to Mom's and made my Italian turkey meatballs. But I have to be honest, I am right now mentally drained from all the shit I've gone through the last month.
I'm trying to learn patience, I'm trying to learn trust, I'm trying to learn that God is in control. But there are moments when it is incredibly difficult and my goodness, I really want this to come through before Christmas. It would probably be the most meaningful Christmas present of my entire life.
So tonight, I'm over at Ruckus, using the $10 gift card that I got from volunteering at the SAS Championship back in October. And basically I'm spending all of it on Coors light.
Friday, December 19
I waited so anxiously for that next phone call. Since this was the last day the staff was in the office, I knew I'd I didn't hear back today, it would not bode well.
After hitting the gym, I knew I had to check the mailbox. I hadn't heard from the just lovely people at unemployment. And the expectation was a response in 3-5 days. So I went into their website and did my next weekly certification. But when I looked at my status, I saw I had been denied. It was infuriating that my previous employer said that I could apply for it, yet it was always going to be denied because I had the nerve to be honest about my political opinions.
I believe I got angry at the world and Good for an hour or so. But i thought more about it and I realized I didn't need unemployment. I have my delivery job and during the holiday season, I can make way, way more in a week than unemployment would pay. As I think about it, I realize I could have been doing deliveries starting the day after I got fired and I could regret not getting more aggressive. But maybe I needed that slow down, that time of stillness to reevaluate myself and how I would handle this time.
Right around 2 pm, I got the call from the school. And it wasn't good news or bad news. More approvals were needed to verify my hiring. So I was resigned that I would not hear back from them till at least the first full week of January, about 3 weeks away.
Funny how over the next few days, i heard more stories about camels. On the Boomer and Gio show, they referenced the camel kicking a woman at a church in Houston during a live nativity scene. TBH, I hope it was Joel Osteen's church.
Saturday, December 20
Nothing but deliveries baby. Made almost as much money in one day as I would have for a week of unemployment. If I'm being real, it was kind of my middle finger to the unemployment office and my previous employer.
Sunday, December 21
Not my favorite church service ever. The youth
Monday, December 22
8 more hours of deliveries. Got 3 bonuses, $122 total. That was just the bonuses before base pay and tips.
Tuesday, December 23
Here we go, it's Christmas Adam. Since Adam came before Eve...
I started with 5 hours of deliveries. Between Tuesday and Wednesday, 16 prefers equals $104 bonus. It's time to get busy.
I completed 10 orders with just enough time to go home, eat a quarter chicken, and change clothes before heading to mom's for church. We also picked up one of her friends, who's enjoying going back to church.
We went to the 3 pm service, though we arrived about 10 minutes late. Of course, during the sermon, Pastor Adam referenced a camel. It was basically saying Mary could have rode a donkey or camel. Another connection to my possible future employer. So crazy, isn't it?
So I had my phone set on do not disturb because I didn't want to get bothered during the service. So towards the end, we sang Silent Night with candles lit. Of course, mom felt the need to rub my back during the song and I was so startled that my candle went out. I mean, those moments are personal; I would never want to disrupt someone in that moment. It's them and God.
Anyway, the song ends and we blew out the candles. I checked my phone and saw that during the last song, I received a phone call from a certain area code. I knew who it was. I excused myself and called the number back.
Sure enough...they offered me the job. The job I wanted. Not the salary I dreamed of but better than my last job. I wanted to celebrate so much with someone but the two or three people I recognized were busy. I walked out of the church pumping my fist 2 or 3 times and I'm sure a few people wondered what in the world I was doing.
The three of us then went to Ted's Montana Grill. When we arrived, only one other person was sitting in the dining room. I didn't share the news with my mother. It felt awkward, it was just not the right time. Suffice to say, I have this vibe about her where I want to have a deep conversation or I would prefer complete silence. I'd have opted for the latter on this day. Anyway, I took down my bison burger with joy.
I don't know my start date just yet. And I know this period lasted 1 month and 3 days, which is not that long. For some people, it's far worse. I can't imagine what folks go through who have been out of with for 3 months, 6 months, a year, or more than that. I lift those people up for guidance and endurance.
For me, I pray I am a better man now than I was one month ago. Because I cannot be the same person tomorrow that I was when my job was taken from me in late November.
I can never be perfect. I can't imagine being sinless ever, not even in the next life. But gosh, all of this adversity I faced was such an opportunity to grow and learn. And I don't intend to waste it.
