Let me keep on dreaming

You blew into my life like a storm on the shore.
I wasn't ready for your passion, your light, your perfect love
I just knew I was gonna fall for you
It wasn't my plan, but I had not another choice.
And yet I've never gotten to be near you or even hear your voice

I'm still so scared this distance will drive you away
I've been through this before and I never thought I would do it again.
But woman, there's no one else in the world like you.
You get me, you know me, you believe in me.
And I believe in you, and I just can't get enough.
And I can't bear to only have your memory.

I know we agreed
We need to stay just friends
All these miles, they're too much for these broken hearts to bear.
But you're the realest thing in my life.
I feel your presence all day long and I beg for your touch in the night.
No one can do what you do to me baby.
Please let me keep on dreaming that one day you might be mine.

NY 2017, day 3

AG picked me up at the Bronx house. We've been communicating for about two years, so it was exciting for us to finally have the chance to meet. It seemed as though we spent half of our time together stuck in traffic. And if she's reading this, I'm sure she'll cringe, but I can't help but point out the baby blue Nissan Cube that she drove us in. And since she's probably reading this, I'm not going to say anything else about it.

Our first stop was Prospect Park. We walked three and a half miles around the entire park. There was actually a half-marathon that morning which started in Prospect Park and finished south in Coney Island. So with some people still running, we were kind of going against traffic. When we got to the north section of the park, where Green Army Plaza was, they had a farmers market going on, the same one I stumbled across the previous year. We got to sample smoked duck breast, several types of pickles, and I sampled a local pale ale, which would have cost $10 a bottle. I probably saw about 15 different kinds of bread that I wanted to sample, but unfortunately, they were not available.

Next it was grub time. And there was only one place to go. Hometown BBQ in the Red Hook section. I had been waiting to go to this place for maybe 2 years. We had to wait on line for about thirty minutes just to place our order. The meats get ordered by the half pound. We started with brisket, which any BBQ joint needs to know how to make, unless it's in the Carolinas. The seasoning and bark on the outside was absolutely perfect. It wasn't overly smokey, but this seasoning is very peppery. The brisket itself was a little fattier than I would have preferred though. I was really impressed with the sticky BBQ sauce, the sweet and smoky flavor worked perfectly on it. They also have a hot and sweet sauce, but it tasted too much like a straight hot sauce for my liking.

The Jamaican jerk ribs were a definite highlight. We got six meaty baby back bones, covered in green onions. There was a hint of spice, but by no means were they hot. But they were cooked spot on. They fell off the bone without collapsing off the bone. The Vietnamese wings...well I took those to go. And the bacon pastrami, I obviously had to try that. Similar to the brisket, it had an awesome bark on the outside, but was pretty fatty. The meat itself was incredibly tender though.

And then the sides. For me, it all starts with the cornbread, some of the best I've ever had. No kernels, that's a key for me. And it was incredibly rich. It tasted like honey was mixed into the batter itself. It added an element of richness to the cornbread, but it wasn't overly sweet. No butter or honey needed. The potato salad was white in color and quite creamy, it had red potato skin and chives mixed in. Very smooth. The cole slaw was crunchy and well balanced, tasting more of vinegar than mayo.

Also, thumbs up on the great music. Hall and Oates, Creedence, Ray Charles, etc. I got an Arnold Palmer from the bar. It was great, but it was a very small glass and there were no free refills. That was disappointing. And can we have bathrooms that are gender specific please? Thank you...

AG and I had about 90 minutes to get back to the Bronx, thanks to a steady stream of traffic on the Brooklyn Queens expressway. We chatted about fitness, driving, colleges, living in New York, her kids, etc.

I got back at 4pm. Not wanting to sit in the house, I walked down the street to the Pelham Bay library. I planned to do some writing and charge my phone. Well that did not take long. The library closed at 5 on Saturday. So after 45 minutes, I walked the two blocks back to the house, where I promptly passed out in bed. I hadn't been drinking or anything, I was just worn down. Maybe it was all the BBQ.

Jimmy got home from work around 6 and his friend Alex came over around 7:30. We watched the first two matches of NXT. As soon as the Tyler Bate vs Pete Dunne match for the UK title ended, we caught an Uber to City Island. Gina was having a late birthday party at a Puerto Rican club/ restaurant. We got there at 9:15, but she and her friend did not arrive till 10.

I was still pretty tired and really had no appetite after all the BBQ I had eaten. And this place was not where I needed to be. The music was so loud and blaring, that there was no way to have a conversation with another person. We had dinner and I just had a tomato and avocado salad and one empanada. I did have some free garlic bread, which was great. But I was not in a mood to dance or anything like that. By 1 in the morning, I was ready to go, though I would have been ready to leave at midnight. And an Uber took Jimmy and I back by ourselves and I finally got into bed around 2. The catch was I had to be up at 5:30 to get my plane to go home. Thankfully, I did get my dozen bagels!

NY 2017, day 2

Day 2 began and I woke up around 7 a.m. Jimmy and I had time to catch up on things we'd been doing, such as travel and work. Naturally there was time to talk about wrestling. I left around 8:45 to head down to the Lower East Side to the Doughnut Plant. This little doughnut haven is absolutely unbelievable, I don't think I've ever seen doughnuts that are made quite as well and a shop with so many decadent flavors of doughnuts. They had everything from creme brulee to cinnamon bun to Mexican to peanut butter and jelly. I opted for a peanut butter and banana cream doughnut. It was a square filled pastry topped with a peanut glaze and toasted peanuts coated on the outside. I bit into it and inside was this creamy thick frosting infused with bananas. I'm definitely glad I had a full bottle of milk to wash it down with. And whole milk too, skim or 1% just wasn't going to work! But this doughnut was nothing short of incredible. Easily in the top two or three doughnuts I've ever had.

I had to take either the M or the F train 3 stops north to West 4th and Washington Street. Unfortunately, the trains were delayed in both lines and when I did get the to the village, I got lost trying to figure out the unusually triangular-shaped streets. I was almost late for the beginning of my walking tour of Greenwich Village. Thankfully, after some scrambling and running in 90 degree heat, I was able to find Murray's Cheese Shop, the first stop of our tour. The walls were lined with cheeses, pastas, sauces,  oils, and vinegars. Not to mention their impressive assortment of cold cuts. We didn't eat there, but we had the overview. There were sixteen of us on tour, a family of four from Toronto, me, and a big church group from Chattanooga, Tennessee. Most of the group was comprised of older women, so they took it on themselves to adopt me for all intents and purposes.

The first stop was Joe's Pizza, a tiny business on Carmine Street. We each had a half slice. The pizza was incredibly thin, about as thin as a legal slice could be in NY. Great San Marzano tomatoes. The milky mozzarella comes from Vermont. One pizza company talks about its better ingredients. They need to go to Joe's first.

Next was an olive oil shop called O&Co. I learned so much about the manufacturing of oil, black truffles, white truffles, and balsamic vinegar. For instance, if the first ingredient in a bottle of balsamic vinegar isn't "grapes must," it is not the real deal. We also tried popcorn topped with truffle salt. The truffle salt enhanced the flavor of the corn, it didn't just make it salty. They even had an aged basamic vinegar on the shelf for $125. And believe me, it wasn't exactly a gallon size.

We had a lot of food outside on the street. The first example of that was Faicco's Italian specialty shop. The best rice balls I've ever had. The outside was incredibly crispy but really thin. Many rice balls are completely overwhelmed by the breading on the outside, and this wasn't like those. And the rice inside was still very moist and creamy, with a lot of seasoning. There wasn't any beef or peas or heavy cheeses or anything like that. No marinara sauce was needed. It was just a perfectly prepared rice ball.

We also had a sit down meal at Pesce Pasta on Bleecker St, which was a meatball with sauce. It tasted like mostly veal, it was a really tender meatball. The gravy was on the lighter side, but still held up well to the meatball. From there, it was onto downstairs at Cornelia street cafe. While they have a bar and restaurant, this was about the downstairs theater. We learned about some of the great performers who graced this tiny stage, as well as other celebrities who have purchased homes in the area. Let's just say I don't think l will be checking out real estate listings anytime this century.

One of the tour highlights was Rafele's eggplant rollatini. It had a light pink sauce with fresh basil and homemade ricotta. I enjoyed a glass of red sangria with it. With the heat rising outside, it really hit the spot. Thankfully, it wasn't too sweet, like a lot of sangrias are. Also, I sat at the bar next to a girl named Margaret, who was with the Chattanooga group. She lives in Atlanta and is a dietitian. We had a nice getting to know you conversation for about 20 minutes.

Then it was onto desserts. We went to Milk and Cookies. Now the whole group already knew I was not going to be eating chocolate. They knew this from the overview back at Murray's Cheese Shop. Our tour guide, Marie, asked who was the one person in the group who didn't eat chocolate. Sheepishly, with a smile, I raised my hand. Thankfully, I was able to have an oatmeal raisin cookie instead. And it was an excellent cookie, made with plenty of butter. It had crispy edges on the outside but was still incredibly moist and rich on the inside.

We spent the next half-hour looking at different houses in the area come in those sing the unique architecture and have the Villages of all over the last hundred years or so. Our final stop was at Rocco's for a cannoli. It was a fine cannoli, but to be honest, after having one at JP Graziano several days before with the Italian cherries on the outside, this one just felt like another cannoli. And besides this had chocolate chips on the outside, a major No-No for me.

With the three hour tour over, I took the 1 train down to Battery Park. I ordered a can of Victory Pilsner beer and sat on a bench for about an hour-and-a-half grabbing some sun and listening to music. Knowing that my new twitter friend Nicole was going to be late to the Mets game, I just knew I had a little more time to kill. So I decided to hop on the Staten Island Ferry for a free 25 minute ride each way. I knew that on the ferry, I could get some great photographs of the Statue of Liberty and the Manhattan skyline. And no doubt, I took some pretty amazing pictures. It was pretty exciting to be so close to the Statue of Liberty. I went there back in 8th grade, but now I have a little bit more appreciation for it.

At that point, it was time to head over to Citi Field for the Mets game. I took the 1 train back north to Time Square and then took the 7 train East to Stadium. When I exited the subway station, Pete McCarthy from WOR radio was having a Mets trivia contest. I was able to answer one of the questions correctly and won a prize. He asked about the Mets opening day in 2014. Stephen Strasburg was pitching for Washington and he asked what is a three-run homer against Strasburg. And I knew immediately the answer was Andrew Brown. I was always a big fan of his, even though he was a relatively marginal player. So I had my choice of a rally towel, a t-shirt, or a ticket to a future game. Both t-shirts looked pretty cartoonish, and living far away, a ticket didn't make much sense. So I happily took the orange rally towel!

As many Mets road games as I go to, it felt so good to be back in Citi Field. Being in the sea of orange and blue is just a beautiful thing for me. And even though the Mets had lost seven straight games, they wound up winning this one three to nothing. Jacob deGrom pitched seven shutout innings, including escaping a bases-loaded and nobody out jam in the seventh inning.

I got to meet my twitter friend Nicole at the game for the first time and we definitely enjoyed each other's company. We have similar interest in sports teams, tend to be a little sarcastic, and we do laugh at each other's jokes quite easily. I guess one of the main differences is she's obsessed with ranch dressing and I love tomatoes. Hopefully we can work through that. We even shared a quick goodnight kiss...

NY 2017, day 1

I always tend to get an early morning start on my travel. And this trip was no exception. I was up at 2:30 in the morning, and the earliest flight I could take left at 6:30, which is a lot layer than usual. I was actually quite fortunate; I got the next to last seat available. I was only the fourth standby on the list out of 14 people, so only 5 people got got out. And from what I heard, the next three flights looked to be oversold as well. So there's no question that I was fortunate.

The day was quite hot for May in New York. The temperature reached 90 degrees and people seemed to act like it was already Memorial Day. The traffic getting from LaGuardia into Northern Manhattan was bumper-to-bumper all the way through. I was able to catch the 6 express train, which got me into the Bronx faster than normal. After cleaning up and changing my clothes, I headed back into Manhattan. I took the 6 train down to Grand Central, and from there I walked to 37th and 3rd to Sarge's Deli. On my way though, I saw that 41st Street was shut down in both directions to allow emergency vehicles to pass through. I had no idea what was going on. Soon after, I found out about the tragedy about the motorist, who drove recklessly into a swarm of pedestrians at Times Square, injuring almost two dozen people and killing an 18 year old girl. I was surprised people were asking me if I was alright.

It was pretty good to see my father. Even though our relationship is rather superficial, the in-person conversations at least seem to go better than the phone conversations. We both had huge sandwiches, I had a corned beef, turkey and roast beef triple decker with Swiss cheese, lettuce, and tomato. I think they forgot my Russian dressing. The service was certainly not the best, we had a sixty-year-old woman server who I don't think knows that it's a good thing to smile sometimes. It took her awhile, but she eventually refilled our iced teas and brought us the extra pickles and napkins that we requested. And as a Yelp reviewer, I got a 10% discount off the bill. That saved us a whole 7 bucks.

From there, we went to Bryant Park and just did some people watching. I wished I had taken a board game with me. I explained the rules of Farkle, which is a dice game I learned from an ex, hopefully we'll play that next time. Around mid-afternoon, he headed back to New Jersey. I had some time to kill so I decided to do some clothes shopping at Macy's. I had no intention of buying anything, it was really just to look around. I considered buying a pair of Greg Norman shorts, but decided against it. I didn't feel too good about returning them if I changed my mind about keeping them.

One of the things I noticed during the day was how conscious I was of my phone's battery power. It seemed I would turn it off for 2 hours at a time just to conserve energy. As helpful as cell phones are, they can add a certain level of stress to the day. 

I took the A train up to Port Authority, right near Times Square. And I walked over to Shorty's, which is a Philly style bar that had a happy hour going on. All of their beers: draft, can, and bottled, cost just five bucks. The heat was sweltering outside, so this was no day for an IPA or even an Amber ale. I downed 2 super tall Blue Moons with ease and they completely hit the spot. I also ordered a chicken cheesesteak with provolone, onions, and mushrooms. One of the things I like about this place is they imported the bread from Philadelphia and they bake it on the premises themselves. It was a good sandwich, but I thought the onions overwhelmed the chicken. I had conversation with a guy at the bar named Anwar, who had a really long beard and just quit his job in shoe promotions. We talked about work issues, the different ways that the cities of Chicago and Philadelphia are divided racially. It was a pretty good conversation.

Then I took the 1 train down to Christopher Street to go to Smalls jazz club. I sat in the third row after paying my $20 cover and listened to a jazz piano trio play for about an hour. I sat next to a statuesque Asian girl who's actually a singer and jazz composer. She gave me her name, so I will check out her music on iTunes. My ticket also included admission to another jazz bar, right across 7th Avenue. This band was just a piano, bass player, and a female vocalist. I heard them do about 4 songs, but decided not to order another drink. It was getting close to 9 o'clock. After being up 20 hours, I felt that was enough for one day.

Ponderous

After 6 days straight in Chicago working, and spending 3 of those days staying in a hotel in the River North neighborhood, I really needed some time away from the city and away from people.

I drove west today to White Pines State Park, a place I probably have not been to in maybe 15 years. I took a couple of hours to hike and climb. More than anything, I had to take time to play music on a quiet country road, to reflect, and just have a verbal conversation with God. I'm not being corny when I say that; that environment just gives me an opportunity to really reflect and encounter God in a way that is very difficult for me to do in my house and in my typical day to day working life.

There are many things that I realized that I am grateful for. And it is good when I take time to count each of those blessings, instead of choosing to dwell in my disasters. Because I'm learning more and more that there are so many people in this sorry dark world who are so insecure in their own lives that they will stop at nothing to tear somebody else down.

Here is where my mind is at this point. And the truth is I've been feeling this way for the last 8 or so months. I'm a lot more anti-social than I used to be. Because I realize I don't have time for other people's bullying, lies, and deception. As recently as maybe two years ago, I couldn't wait for the next big social event with my friends. We had then practically every month. Now, I don't even care anymore. I have my group of friends who I value, but it seems like the vast majority of them don't live near me now.

I think one big aspect of it is that I am now in my mid-thirties. I find that people in their twenties and their forties and fifties do a lot better job of getting together than people in their thirties do. But when you're in your thirties, you're sort of in limbo. You're too old to be in the young group in too young to be in the old group. I'm not feeling sad though, it's sort of a step back for me. It's a time to push the reset button. I feel as though I'm taking a little more time to myself. And these times of reflection don't come often when I'm gone 12 hours a day due to my job.

So 2017 is one third of the way over already. It feels like it has gone so quickly. Then again, with this combination of cold weather and non-stop work, of course it's going by quickly. I have not taken a single day off from work yet. But in 11 days, that will change. I will fly to New York, which is something that I can't wait for. I'm so ready to start traveling again.

I promised myself at the beginning of this year that I would not be the same man at the end of 2017 that I am at the beginning of 2017. Somehow, some positive change was going to happen for me. I can't say that change has come down the pike yet. But I am going to keep working to make it happen.