Those nights...

Around 1:30 am. When you know you need to go to sleep, yet don't want to move a muscle to climb two flights of stairs and walk into the bedroom. But then you're all alone. Nothing else to distract you except your own thoughts. And those are the times sometimes silence is the scariest companion of all. It just won't go away. It won't.

Black and white

I found myself in a room of chaos
Nowhere to move
The world spinning around me

There it appeared before me
Perfect as can be
Pure as black and white

No colors, no lights, no sound
Just so sudden
So striking
Unable to move

Not a sight, nor a sound
It was right there standing before me.
It was all I could want.
It was clear as black and white.

Then it came closer
That perfect blend
Of dark and light
Of fear and hope
Of mystery and clarity
Of black and white

Coming closer still.
I had to move.
I managed to extend a single hand
God, I had never felt this softness, this silkiness, this smoothness
Conforming to my hand.

I couldn't let go
But I held on too tightly
Or maybe I was afraid to hold on tight

The greatest thing I'd ever held
Slipped out of my hand
Gone as black and white

The Total Package

1) As I write, I am listening to Lex Luger's interview on Pro Wrestling Powerhouse. He's one of my favorite pro wrestlers ever and he just released his autobiography this past week. What's so interesting is that Tyndale in Wheaton, which is just 20 minutes from my house, is the publisher. I know a few people who work there and I even applied for work there several times. I am definitely looking forward to reading Wrestling With the Devil; I just hope Lex comes to Chicago so I can get my book signed. Hopefully, it won't take 13 years, like with Mick Foley.

2) Today, I achieved my highest error rate at Kaplan. I completed 37 of 38 submitted files correctly for a 97 percent rate, over 30 percent better than my score on Tuesday. I'm very happy about it and I was also pleased when two of my colleagues congratulated me. But now I have to keep it going. It was one day. I proved what I am capable of. Now I need to prove that I can keep my performance at that optimum level.

3) Let's see...today, Dad went to Mets vs Braves, Catherine went to Yankees vs Blue Jays, Julie is now in NY after winning the Mets FanCave contest and is going to two games. What am I still doing in Chicago?!

4) I'm not feeling a burning desire to attend my 10-year college reunion in Massachusetts in six weeks. Between flying, renting a car, finding a hotel, and not knowing who I will and won't see, I just don't know if this would be worth it.

5) The "break" has essentially been made. It was a long time coming. It had to happen. And then are are those who can't accept a break has happened. Some people need to just move on and let certain things go. And to stop reaching for things that can never be reached.

Song pick: "We Had It All" Waylon Jennings

Fortunate Sons Setlist

Wood Dale Prairie Festival
8/11/2013

Born on the Bayou
Green River
Down on the Corner
Good Golly Miss Molly
I Put a Spell On You
Hey Tonight
Someday Never Comes
Lodi
Travelin' Band
Suzie Q
Who'll Stop the Rain
Have You Ever Seen the Rain
Looking Out My Back Door
The Midnight Special
I Heard It Through the Grapevine
Bad Moon Rising
Proud Mary
Fortunate Son

Encore
Commotion
Up Around the Bend
Long As I Can See the Light

NFL predictions

AFC
East 
y-New England 12-4
Miami 6-10
NY Jets 6-10
Buffalo 5-11

North
y-Pittsburgh 10-6
x-Cincinnati 10-6
Baltimore 7-9
Cleveland 4-12

South 
b-Houston 11-5
Indianapolis 9-7
Tennessee 8-8
Jacksonville 3-13

West
y-Denver 11-5
x-Kansas City 8-8
San Diego 7-9
Oakland 5-11

NFC
East
y-NY Giants 11-5
Washington 10-6
Dallas 6-10
Philadelphia 5-11

North
y-Green Bay 10-6
Detroit 9-7
Chicago 7-9
Minnesota 6-10

South
y-New Orleans 11-5
x-Atlanta 11-5
Tampa Bay 8-8
Carolina 5-11

West
y-San Francisco 12-4
x-Seattle 11-5
St. Louis 7-9
Arizona 4-12

AFC Championship
Houston over New England

NFC Championship
Seattle Green Bay

Super Bowl
Houston over Seattle

Friday night's man

What I would give to be the diamond in your eyes again.
What I would give to bring those old days back again.
What did I do or say to make you change this way?
Maybe I'll just go away.

Forget about life, forget the hurt, forget the rejection.
You have only right now.
Stroll right in.
Gaze around, you don't know a face, but you recognize why they're all here.
See if you can find your place in here.
Let the bright lights and the pounding beats and the noise intoxicate your soul.
Your world can be erased, just a $5 cover charge.

You see the smiles on everyone else's face.
You try to force one, but it feels so fake
You see her, a distance away, yet she seems mere steps away from your lonely chair.

A connection just seems so far away tonight.
You just don't want to feel alone.
So you'll use her for a little while.
Imagine her smile is really for you
And that it's not there just because it's the nice thing to

Pretty soon you're both dying to escape.
Escape alone, admit this wasn't what you'd been looking for.
Then again, what did you really yearn for in this place tonight?

You head to the door.
Nobody would dare step in your path.
But please come back next week.
And bring back your false hope.
Just letting yourself get fooled once again.

For Granted

I would bend myself over backwards

If it would prove to you just how much you mean to me

Now I'm so sore

And even more unfulfilled

You take me for granted

A man can't spend his lifetime like this

I've got to keep going

Travel down this straight lonesome road 

Wanting what can't be had

And refusing what wants me

Jesus, Jack, and Jeremiah

They never run off

They'll keep me company tonight