I used to be a pretty avid watcher of the Dr Phil show. Then I had to stop watching because I started working during the day. But I remember one of his famous quotes. When he sees a pattern of family mistakes that run through generations, he will often say this sentence.
"Somebody has to be a hero in this family."
And I realize that the hero has to be me.
The way I see how terribly my family handles conflict, it is the best motivator in the world for me to do things right. It seems the two examples I see are either complete withdrawal and denial or yelling and tearing people down. And neither of those is the way to go.
Lord knows I have my struggles. With the issues I have in dealing with rejection, at the slightest sign of conflict, I do worry if I'm going to be forsaken. But I do believe one of the best indicators of the relationship will last, and that could be romantic, familial, friendship, or whatever, is how the two parties handle their disagreements and their negative moments.
I have met way too many women over the last couple of months to run away like a little cowards at the first sign of conflict. And I now realize that I don't really need them. A relationship is not sunshine, rainbows, butterflies, and a dozen Roses every day. It takes work and commitment from both parties. And I have no desire to be with anybody who is not willing to put the work in.
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