Early experiences

It's been a week and a half since my last post. Life really does feel different than it ever has before. I'm doing things on my own. I'm speaking to different people with the wondering in the back of my mind if I will speak to them again. When I go to the grocery store, the hardware store, festivals, for the mall, I don't have to see the dreaded Cubs logo. Well, except once every two weeks or so. Of course I have flipped off a couple of Patriots fans.

There have been a couple of challenges to deal with. On Sunday afternoon, I noticed a long, thin crack in my windshield. It went horizontally on the passenger side and covered maybe a third of the windshield. I don't know how it happened, I'm thinking it was on my drive from Newport News to Virginia Beach. Even though it did not impair my driving, I knew enough about these things to know I had to get the issue fixed and get it fixed quickly. So I made an online appointment for Tuesday morning at Safelite. They wound up fixing the issue inside of an hour and a half. The windshield did have to be replaced, but thankfully insurance covered the issue without me paying a deductible. I did eat breakfast at Cracker Barrel while I was waiting. Not the best breakfast, but I did try to play that golf tee game. I got it down to two tees left on the board.

Another issue was my first full paycheck. I had chosen to put that money into my credit union account since I getter a better rate of interest than I would at a typical bank. At the time I did not have a new checking account set up yet. I didn't want to put a check into a checking account that was about to close anyway. So my mother arranged a transfer of the check from the credit union to my new account. And it took 10 full days for it to go through. Thankfully, that got fixed this morning.

One issue that did not end as well was the situation with Cox. The installer had told me that my charge would be $89.99 plus another $18 in fees and equipment. What I wasn't told was that I would be charged more money in taxes and other fees. So I'm paying another $22 a month than I expected. Including $30 a month for a telephone that I'm not even using.

I'm thankful for Dave and Debra, a married couple that I'm starting to become friends with. Dave is pretty quiet, but very generous, and Debra is the sweet one, rather inquisitive and open. We might be going out to lunch this weekend. I've also met a guy named Ira through running. He's a little older than me, and he's an Ira that's not from New York and not Jewish. He is actually from northern Virginia, enjoys his beer, and we've had some good conversations.

But there's a feeling that I've had. It is a feeling that I don't believe I've ever had in my entire life. Now and then, I just smile and I thank God. I have a place to live, I have a pretty darn good job, and I get to go through a period of self-discovery. I'm learning what I want to do, what I enjoy, what I prioritize, what matters to me, and it's making be responsible in a way that I haven't had to be before.

I leave in six days to fly back to Chicago. I'll be hauling a lot of big things out here. Maybe at that point, this apartment will really feel like a home. Right now, it feels like my place to stay. But I'm not sure it feels like home yet. Maybe that's because after this one year lease, they may raise my rate and I'll need to leave. Because if it's just me, I don't need anything more than a 1 bedroom. The master bedroom and bathroom are not even being used right now. And unless my mother comes to stay, it's not going to either.

I also decided to run a 5k for the first time since April of 2014. It will be taking place in Hampton in mid-October. I have six weeks to train. I know I can run it in 25 minutes, I've been doing that for the last month. Most of my fastest times in the past have been between 23 and 24 minutes. My fastest race was also my most recent and that was 22:14 at Willow Creek Church. With six weeks of calculated training, I'm confident I can run it inside of 24 minutes. Beating 23 minutes would be a great accomplishment.

Moved in

August 12, 2017. Not a date that will slip my memory. It's the day that I moved into my first apartment. I had the date set for probably three weeks in advance. Waking up that morning, I didn't feel afraid. I didn't feel overwhelmed. Well, except I wish I had a little more cash for it. But my attitude was I had a job to do and I was going to do it that day.

 

It was absolutely pouring rain that morning. Not the day to be moving a ton of stuff back and forth. I loaded 25 or 30 hangers with clothes on the rod inside my car, wishing I could have covered them in plastic bags. I arrived at the leasing office at 9:55, waiting for the doors to open. The staff arrived late and I did not get my keys until 10:15. Fifteen minutes may not sound like a big deal, but knowing I had more belongings still sitting in my room, and knowing that my friend was waiting for me to be ready so he could help me unpack, those minutes crawled by ever so slowly.

 

Craig came over and we started unloading my car. He focused on my clothes and I took just about everything else in. Thankfully, the staff let me use a covered parking space, so my items didn't have to get too wet. After about ninety minutes, we were done with the first load. The only casualty was half a bottle of cheap glass cleaner from the dollar store spilling on my kitchen counter. At least it was from the dollar store so it only cost me about five dimes

I made one more run back to the hotel, mostly for food and winter clothes. My car was only about half full this time. It seems like 90 percent of what I have is kitchen stuff and clothes. All in all, it took us about 2 and a half hours to unload everything.

 

I offered to take Craig for lunch to say thank you. We walked to The Cove, a tropical-ish restaurant in City Centre. We split the crab dip and each had an order of fish tacos. It certainly wasn't the best meal I've ever had, but after all that moving, it hit the spot. I will say the crab dip with the lightly toasted bread points was quite good, even if it was a little heavy.

After lunch, I went back to #5411. The apartment was very clean, the carpets had been professionally cleaned before I moved in. I started rearranging my closet and the kitchen. The two things it's very short on are furniture and light. I have one card table, one folding chair. No couch, no bed, no bedroom furniture. All my clothes are either hanging up or they're inside one of four suitcases. Then there's the light issue. There's no light in living room, aside from two small lamps I put on either side of the TV. There's no light in my bedroom, as I couldn't fit any floor lamps in my car.

But the biggest setback I had was the mattress didn't inflate. Even with new D batteries, there was no airflow at all. So I'm essentially sleeping on carpet. At this point I have a stack going on. It's my yoga mat, then the deflated mattress, then two bed sheets folder over twice, and two blankets. My back was not at all comfortable last night. The only way I got through the night was to put a pillow under my back the long way for support. And I still woke up at 3 and 5 am.

Keith from Cox came over at 3:45, and stayed about an hour to install my cable and Internet. So that's good, though I could use a stand to put the TV on.

 

I don't mean to complain. I'm thankful for this place and everything in it. It just feels half empty. But in two weeks, we'll see if it truly feels like home.

It's Saturday But I Could Swear It's Sunday

I have a three hour wait in the Providence airport before I fly to Charlotte, and then fly to Newport News. Time for some reflections.

 

1) The Philly burger and onion rings with Chipotle ketchup at Bobby Flay's Burger Palace​ are tremendous.

 

2) New England is just so gray and drab. It y be cloudy there at least 360 days a year.

 

3) I truly hate baseball right now. I wish it would go on strike. The Mets have completely numbed me.

 

4) I've been to five different churches in Virginia. One of them, I have no interest in, there are three that I'm moderately interested in, and there is one I'm quite interested in. Location and small groups will probably make a big impact on where I go. I have two more to go to, I really want to decide by the end of August where I will go.

 

5) TSA agent at security in Providence refused to touch my Jets cap. He tried to joke me with about who our quarterback would be. I wanted to deck him for being an asshole. Rather, I simply muttered, "It doesn't matter," and walked off.

 

6) Joe is simply one of my best friends in the world, even though we've only met twice now. He drove to Mohegan Sun to hang with me and we vented over another pitiful Mets loss while drinking Irish beer and Miller High Life.

 

7) There are really moments when I dread life. Those moments of fear, when the world just wants to stop me from moving forward, at least it can feel that way for me. I'm finally learning that life needs to be appreciated. Because I want to live my life in personal and Christian peace, I do not want to live in fear and worry. I am liking myself more these days, but I do wonder what would it would take for me to be able to look at myself and be completely content. I think one thing that could help that would be having peace of mind in moments when I'm tempted to panic. Some of those are financially based, some are relational, and some are about my physical state. I think learning to like myself is something I need to do. After all, if I don't like myself, why should anyone else?

 

8) It amazes me that I want to date, yet I'm scared that it's going to cripple me financially. Maybe it's just an easy excuse to save myself from further heartbreak.

 

9) One week from now, I'll be in my apartment. It's exciting, but it's a little scary to be leaving the hotel I've stayed in for three weeks.

 

10) I'm ready to get back to Virginia. I really feel it. And I think that's a good sign that it's feeling more like home.

 

PS. I didn't know I'd be sitting in first class. Keep the red wine flowing...

NFL Predictions

AFC
East
New England 15-1
Buffalo 5-11

Miami 5-11
Jets 3-13

North
Pittsburgh 11-5
Cincinnati 8-8
Baltimore 7-9
Cleveland 3-13

South
Houston 11-5
Tennessee 11-5
Indianapolis 6-10
Jacksonville 5-11

West
Oakland 11-5
Kansas City 9-7

Denver 9-7
Los Angeles 4-12

NFC
East
NY Giants 12-4
Dallas 10-6
Philadelphia 9-7
Washington 5-11

North
Green Bay 11-5
Minnesota 10-6
Detroit 6-10
Chicago 5-11

South
Atlanta 10-6
Carolina 9-7
Tampa Bay 8-8
New Orleans 6-10

West
Seattle 11-5
Arizona 10-6
Los Angeles 5-11
San Francisco 3-13

AFC Championship

New England over Oakland

NFC Championship

NY Giants over Green Bay

Super Bowl

New England over NY Giants

Yep, I'm predicting the most painful outcome possible.

A Death in the Family

One of the tough aspects of having such a small family is that when one of them dies, the impact of the loss can be that much greater. With fewer people in the family, there are fewer relationships so the good ones can be extra meaningful. By no means am I saying that people in smaller families have better connections to their kin, but I am saying that we can value the good ones a little bit more.

My maternal grandmother passed away last Wednesday afternoon, just five days before my birthday. What's tough about this is I feel like I don't have as many memories of her as I should. Certainly distance played a role as I lived 1500 miles from her for the last 14 years. And there are other family tensions that have damaged relations as well.

 

But I'm not going to dwell on the pain and the disappointments, I'm trying to recall some of my better memories of her. So let's do that.

 

The Waterslide. I can't recall where this was, though I'm pretty sure it was in Williamsburg, VA. Ironic, considering I just moved thirty minutes from there. My mother, grandmother, and I stayed at a hotel with an outdoor pool. And this pool had a small twisting slide. I've always had an affinity for waterslides so I took advantage of this. My grandmother saw how much fun I was having and thought she'd get in on the action. She climbed up the stairs and turned around. She leaned back and started sliding. Backwards. I know it didn't go smoothly, she actually feel off and hit her neck and ankle on the edge of the pool. She was ok, but I guess that's a testament to her adventurous spirit.

 

I remember her taking me to Subway, for a foot long Italian, back when I thought that was a good sandwich. Obviously, that was forever ago. I also remember getting excellent pizza at Papa Gino's and I'd constantly feed the jukebox, playing Garth Brooks and Creedence songs.

 

My grandparents have lived in Connecticut as long as I've been alive. Specifically, they lived in Waterford, in the southeast corner of Connecticut. There are some nice little towns we went to: Groton, Mystic, and Old Saybrook to name a few. On a sidenote, I'm still wondering where the newer Saybrook is.

 

We even went camping when I was in my grade school years. My grandfather would drive the old trailer and I'd help him level it when we were ready to park. My grandmother would handle the trips and the food. I remember sitting by campfires in New Hampshire, riding a bike without training wheels for the first time in a Vermont forest, and eating ice cream in southern Maine.

 

I remember in later years when I was attending college north of Boston. Several times, I took an Amtrak from Boston to New London and they'd pick me up and let me stay with them for a couple of days. It gave me a little taste of my youth and I always appreciated that gesture.

 

What I'm most thankful for is that she had the idea for me to apply to and attend Wheaton Academy in suburban Chicago. Those two years I spent at that school changed me radically for the better, both as a person and as a Christian. So I will forever appreciate that moment.

 

Thank you Priscilla Bartlett, my grandmother, I appreciate the care and attention you gave me. You helped to shape me as a person for the better and I will always appreciate that. I just wish there were more good memories for us in the more recent years.