Monday, November 14, 2011

Better to cut ties

There are pivotal moments in everybody's social life. It can be a conversation, an event, a happening, whatever, and as that event happens, we know that someone has either become a close friend or that they are drifting away. And then there are times where relationships get severed.

So I wrote one or two angry facebook status updates on the disgrace that the New York Jets put on. And this morning, I get a fb message from my old buddy CB. Now CB and I go back a few a years. I have known him five years this December, to be exact. I've always thought he had a good head on his shoulders. He's organized ultimate frisbee soccer. He's excellent at engaging non-believers in discussions about faith, something that I would like to be better at. He made a significant contribution to my Kentucky missions trip last year as well. And I will not forget any of those things.

But just over a year ago, he started dating MR. And I knew MR for a few months prior, I think it was Memorial Day at the house near Josef's Deli when I met her. We shared a nice conversation that day over a game of bags. I was somewhat interested in her, I'm not going to shy away from that. I had considered asking her out, but she was going to a different church, so I really wasn't able to spend much time with her. And I guess I didn't want to appear too aggressive. So I decided to just be nice whenever she came around.

Next thing I knew, it was Labor Day 2010. The Mets got embarrassed by the Cubs, what else is new? I drove straight from the North Side to the intersection of Fabyan Parkway and 25 in Geneva, which took almost 90 minutes. There was ultimate frisbee soccer and a cookout. Much to my surprise, I found out she and CB had been together for a few weeks. And I guess it never cooled down, even to this day.

I was caught a bit off guard, so I decided to keep my distance from MR, not so much CB. I was still hanging with Chris twice a week, on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights. But I didn't understand why MR took a few weeks to accept my friend request on fb; I thought that was strange. CB even confronted me about if I had a problem with their relationship. Now I was just his casual friend, so why he would ask me that, who knows? I told him I just didn't understand the fb delay. I guess that was true, but it wasn't the complete truth.

So, it went on for a year. I didn't really care for the sight of them together, but I dealt with it. And CB and I remained friends, so I thought, while MR was the one person in all of Come Thirsty who acted as if I didn't even exist. And so this past week, I saw 37 engagement photos of them up on fb. I've already ranted on the foolishness of this idea; I'm not going into it again.

Then around 1:30 pm, I get a message from CB that both he and MR have decided to defriend me from fb due to my language on Sunday night. The funny thing is CB confronted me about the last time I wrote anything with profanity back in January. And he ripped into me like I had just committed murder. It's so funny how he didn't respond to anything I wrote in the following ten months. So I find it somewhat amusing that both of them decide to do this to me simultaneously like I'm this pervasive negative influence on society. I'm sure I won't get an invitation to their wedding, but I'd just as soon disinvite myself first.

I am a human being. I feel many different emotions at different times. I'm not scared to express myself. And if someone's expectation of me to be their friend is to live a perfect life, to be a robot void of anger or loneliness or fear, well, I'd just as soon stay away from that type of person. I guess neither of them have ever screwed up in the last year, so what the hey, I guess they must be perfect for each other.

One more wrinkle. CB is coming to Feasting and Fellowship on Wednesday night for the first time in maybe two months. It's the group's 2-year anniversary. I don't really plan to say anything to him outside of the text we will be examining. We'll see what happens.

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