Into December

I didn't see last night coming. I wasn't even supposed to be at Bible study; I was scheduled to be scoring a Stratford basketball game. But the night prior, I received word that the game had been changed to a road game and so I was able to attend Bible study group. And I'm certainly glad that I was able to do so.

After studying the second half of Colossians 3, the guys and girls departed to their respective places for quiet time, just the same as every week. David, our leader, asked for the floor, which I found a little odd, since he usually prefers someone else goes first. As he spoke, I could sense trouble in his voice and distress on his face. He told us that one of the married couples in our group was separating, and was likely going to divorce in the near future. I didn't expect it, I had no indications that anything was wrong, other than that Andrew wasn't present that week. It's strange, I haven't spent time with the two of them, but of all the married couples in the group, I felt like I related most closely to them in terms of personalities, likes, dislikes, etc. Even though we have a good sized group of about 10 or so people most weeks, when we break in half for guy/girl time, the loss of anyone feels noticeable. And losing him would be a difficult blow to recover from, between his humor and how approachable he was. And it doesn't sound right to use the past tense. But I fully expect him to not only leave the group, but possibly the Hampton Roads area in general. I've heard him often speak of his negative feelings on Virginia. This just gives him the out that he might be wanting, even if it's not through the ideal circumstances.

I prayed a prayer I've never prayed before. "God, please take away my desire to date." I'm tired of the hurt and the frustration. And the sad part is it could be almost any woman. Doesn't matter her age, her location...ok, I do care about her mental health, looks, and faith. But I can get so resentful when I see or hear about a new relationship. And I'm going so back and forth on this. I value my independence, because I've wanted it for so long, I waited till I was 35 to leave home. Know what I'm thinking it is? I'm still looking for that acceptance that I'm struggling to find in myself, and I look to a woman in order to have it. That's not a fair burden to put on a woman. If I can't accept myself, if I can't see myself as God sees me, then no human approval is ever going to satisfy me. I know this is the truth, but inside, I also know that I don't own it yet. It's not part of my core. And the sooner I can do this, the sooner I can become a more confident, content man.

Ok, I think that's enough self-reflection for one post. Now I'm going to ramble about randomness. I purchased my first Smart TV this past weekend. 43 inches from LG. It's just the right size for my living room and while it may not sound too large, upgrading from 28 inches to 43 is enormous. I've figured out YouTube. Unfortunately, I don't think it has WWE network installed, so I may have to run that either through my smartphone or computer. But I'm wondering if I need to subscribe to Netflix, hulu, Amazon prime, or some other streaming service in order to justify this purchase. I don't care about the original series; I don't have the time or interest to binge watch a bunch of series. Just give me good movies and documentaries and I'm satisfied.

Mom sent me a 3 piece table and chairs. Oh my gosh, what a headache this is turning into. The kit includes these cast bolts which are like large Phillips head screws with spiral locks on the bottom. I've already broken three and need to have a new set of hardware sent to me so I can complete the table. At least I got both chairs together inside of an hour.

Why do I do this to myself? I swore off going to road games to watch my team play. I feel as though they're not even fun anymore. As soon as my teams trail, I pretty much think it's over. It's honestly amazing that I've never been kicked out of a stadium or arena before. So now that it's the offseason and I'm bored at work, I start checking the Mets schedule and planning trips on my own and with the 7 Line Army. I'm looking at Kansas City, Cincinnati, Minneapolis, Philadelphia, and Washington DC.
Why am I doing this? It must be for the travel. I can't think of another reason that's valid.

I'm listening to the Babe Ruth biography on audio and while it's incredibly detailed, it is so hard to follow. Reading a biography that's non-chronological is fine, but when it's out of order and jumps around so frequently, it becomes much more difficult. And this is a 23 hour listen, and I'm only 6.5 hours into it.  

Virginia Jets Fans changed venues. We left Keagan's due to food quality and complaints of their regulars. Instead, we moved less than ten minutes down the road to Cali's, a small new establishment located in a strip mall. It's a sports bar that clearly used to be an Asian restaurant, since the bar looks like a sushi station. Their wings are really good, I think the chef uses rice flour to get that light crispy coating. The parking is far better, no more garages and elevators and 2 hour limits. There is certainly less ambience without the Irish vibe that Keagans provided. Also, we can't really control the volume up and down during commercial breaks like we could at Keagan's. But the viewing experience is better with additional TV's too. I think it's a positive a positive change after one week.

Well, tonight I return to the sidelines for Stratford basketball. I only hope I remember how to track the stats like I was doing before. Because there's no warmup, there's no exhibition season. It's right back into the fire tonight at 7 pm. And I'm getting paid $40 for two hours of work. A typical Friday night at Tucano's typically nets me around $45, give or take $5 either way. So I'm not on my feet and I'm working half the amount of time. It's a no brainer in my mind.