Sunday blues

Can I have this day over? I got home at 3:00 a.m. after nine hours of driving. So right away I knew I'd be on edge.

 

I slept till 9, woke up  had half a grapefruit, skipped church, which was a terrible decision,and went to play softball. We had to forfeit since we had nowhere near enough players. But we still had a scrimmage.

 

There were two shots to deep center field that were over my head and I had a play on both of them, yet both of them went off the top of my glove and I missed the balls. After the 2nd one, I did not have it in me to play anymore. My heart was gone. I felt I was hurting the team, and I felt like I was not contributing anymore. And if I couldn't contribute anymore, then I had no business playing softball. Even though there are 2 more weeks of the season, I don't know if I will ever go back. Because what's the use if I'm not playing well and enjoying myself. Personally I can't have one without the other. At this point I am not doing my job and I think I'm better off walking away.

 

Can someone explain to me how having a tattoo or piercing your nipples, or piercing your stomach somehow gives you stronger beliefs than the people who don't do that? Such garbage.

 

I swear to God Almighty, if it wasn't for food and music, I would be in a psych ward for clinical depression by now.