41

I'm about to begin year 41 on planet earth in 36 hours. I'm feeling a little down, I just have a few quick things to say. 

1. The loneliest feeling is to be surrounded by lots of people and feel as if you don't matter. 

2. I feel powerless to keep this country from going to hell. I miss having talk leaders who cared about our people first. They may not have been the nicest people ever, but they got the fing job done. 

3. I dread losing my mother one day. No one else has known me as long or as well. I can talk to get about things I can't with anyone else. But I'm thankful for the 4 plus decades we have so far, even though we fight more than I wish. 

4. If it wasn't for sad songs, I don't know how I'd cope with my hurt. I don't know if I can change as a man anymore. My habits seem to be my habits, good or bad. So I guess I will take the bandage on my disease. Won't cure it but I'll at least take the temporary cover up. 

5. At work, only our campus president knew it was my birthday. No one else knew or said anything. It's not that birthdays are that important. It's just that it means someone actually gives a damn. 

Sorry for the sad theme, but that's all I have in me tonight. 

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