Friday, August 12, 2005

Hogan knows best

No, not the brutal reality TV show on VH1. My dog by the same name, had his checkup. The vet told us he's the best shape they've ever seen a 14 year old cocker spaniel in. Ears, heart, eyes are all good. They really think he can live another 5 years. As I type, he's barking at a group of high school cheerleaders right outside my door. Some things can never change I guess...

The Jets are playing their first pre-season game right now. It's the 3rd quarter and they lead Detroit 7-3. It's weird. Every time the Jets have high expectations, everything goes drastically wrong. Hopefully, this is the year for glory. If not the Super Bowl, just as long as the Patsies don't win it!

I'm attending the Willow Creek Church Leadership Summit and there's a lot I could write about. I'll have a more in depth report later. John Maxwell, Rick Warren, Ken Blanchard, Curtis Silwa (Guardian Angels) are just a few of the names. It's been a rewarding and challenging weekend in many ways.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

The Word is final

I hit my bottom on Sunday afternoon. I think I may have hit my lowest point in a battle I've been fighting all my life.
And I may have reached a higher place in the process. My softball team opened the Willow Creek Church co-ed playoffs as the No. 1 seed in a double elimination tournament. In the opener, we played a team that's pretty good, but we'd beaten twice before. I felt very confident.

Immediately, I knew we were in trouble when our pitcher, who's generally very reliable, started walking batters like Armado Benitez did against the Yankees. After they scored once and had runners on first and third, they hit a grounder to our shourtstop. He threw the ball like the first baseman had her glove three feet underground. Two more runs score. 4-0. OK, fine. We get 1 in the bottom. I figured the pitcher would get her composure back and we'd be fine. Well, she did do better. One problem. We suddenly had defenders who played like they'd never played softball. Two dropped fly balls lead to 4 unearned runs.

We made five errors and could not get a hit to save our lives. For the love of God, I even struck out looking with bases loaded. With the bases loaded! We lost 14-2 by slaughter rule.

Let me make one thing clear, especially to those of you who know me. This was not at all my worst outburst. I didn't use one foul word. The worst thing I did was scream something to the effect of "Four errors! What are we doing!" Fortunately or unfortunately, there's no sound on this post, so I'm not doing the words justice here. But considering the situation, it was a disaster. At the end of the game, the captain pulled me aside and laid it into me pretty hard. At one point, she said the team would be just fine without me. That was all I needed to hear.

I knew we had another game to play. But if I stayed, I felt I would be a hindrance regardless of whether we won or lost. I didn't want to be a great teammate when we won and a ticked off time bomb when we lost. So I picked up my bat, threw my cleats in my black Reebok duffle bag, and paced quickly down the tenth of a mile road to the parking lot for the long 55 minute drive home.

Yeah, I left and didn't really regret it. Oh, I hated to do it. For me, to leave a game, this was absolutely drastic for me to do. But hey, on this day, I was adding nothing to this team, not with my playing or my demeanor. More importantly, this was damaging my relationships with teammates and damaging some budding friendships. And that was just too costly. It didn't matter how much I loved to play. It didn't even matter how good I was. If I couldn't deal with a loss, then it was not smart for me to be in that environment.

But the story doesn't end there.

Later that night, I talked with Ted, who is the new Associate Pastor at Ecclesia, the 20-somethings group I go to on Sunday night. www.ecclesiawheaton.com He's a few years younger than me and he a sports fanatic like me. HE explained to me that the problem was bigger than me and it was bigger than losing, which I knew. He said the solution had to come over time and I had to go through God. I needed something bigger than me to get past this.
Though I had prayed many times, I felt I hadn't gone to the Bible and really meditated on the words. And I mean really concentrated on those words. So that was a necessary thing for me to do.

So Monday night, I went into the Bible and headed straight to Proverbs and James. I began writing down some verses in a small spiral notebook. A few examples...
James 1:12: Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

James 3:9-11: With the tongue we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brothers, this should not be! Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and salty water?
Writing down Bible verses just makes me concentrate on each word which I don't do too well when I just read. It may be more time consuming, but it works for me.

And the icing on the cake? I found out that after I left, my team won 2 games, placing us in the championship game in 2 weeks!

Will I play? It's very much up in the air. One, I don't know if they want me back. And two, I don't if they need me now. Three, I don't know if I want to play right now. Is it the smart thing for me to do? On the other hand, I do want a chance at redemption.

So how do I close this? I'll say this. Re-read this post and you could see a lot of ways I express this theme. The Word is final.

Take this job...

AND SHOVE IT!!!

OK, not exactly, but I have reduced my work load at California Pizza Kitchen to 5 mornings a week as of August 29. By mid-September, I will be gone for good. And then, who knows. I just hope not a long stretch of unemployment.

President Bush, I just got a speeding ticket. If you change the car insurance policy where the rates drop at age 25, I will hunt you down and beat you like a rotten egg.

Sweep Dreams

Nothing better than a Met sweep over the Cubs. I'd say 80-85 percent of the blame goes to the Cubs for playing as flat as pancakes. Hold the syrup! Now it's on the road again to San Diego and LA. Who knows what will happen. The Mets have been a brutal road team all year and they have to change that right now.

Pedro pitching against Chan Ho Park in Game 1. Pedro is a million times the pitcher Park could be in his dreams. Which is exactly why San Diego will probably win Game 1...

Friday, August 05, 2005

Let's check the NHL Atlantic Division.

As far as I can see, here's who each team in the Atlantic Division has added and lost thus far in free agency.

New Jersey
Added: Dan McGillis, Vladimir Malakhov
Lost: Scott Niedermayer

NY Islanders
Added: Mike York, Alexei Zhitnik, Miroslav Satan.
Lost: Michael Peca, Adrian Aucoin, Dave Scatchard.

Philadelphia
Added: Peter Forsberg, Derian Hatcher, Mike Rathje, Chris Therien.
Lost: Jeremy Roenick, Tony Amonte, Alexei Zhamnov.

Pittsburgh
Added: Sidney Crosby, Sergei Gonchar.
Lost: Jon Sim, Tom Kostopolous.

RANGERS
Added: Marek Malik, Martin Straka, Martin Rucinsky, Villie Niemenen, Jason Ward.
Lost: Bobby Holik, Eric Lindros, Mike Dunham, Jason LaBarbera.

I was searching hard to find guys that Pittsburgh lost...

The Rangers added the most players but they certainly haven't added the best players. And they seem to have a knack for adding guys whose first names start with M. Who's next? Mario Lemieux? Can we get him? How about Martin St. Louis from Tampa Bay next year? I'm sure they'll be flocking to Manhattan next year!

I don't see too many exciting names left. Alex Mogilny, Roman Hamrlik, Vincent Damphousse. I mean, who cares? There are some decent guys who are available but the teams would require compensation. I think the best the Rangers can hope for right now is sign 2 or so more forwards and allow some kids to play and sign a big guy next year. Maybe a Joe Thornton. Maybe Vincent LaCavalier. We'll see...

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

The best album I've heard

And I've owned a good 70 record over the last 15 years so this is a pretty bold statement.

Let me start it this way. If you have any love for Creedence Clearwater Revival, country-rock, Delta blues, or just damn good music, I urge you go out and pick up John Fogerty's Blue Moon Swamp. I recently discovered the former Creedence lead singer's 1997 solo record that won the 1997 Grammy for Best Rock Album. And in these hot summer months, I can barely bring myself to hit the eject button on the stereo. I have never heard a record that blends country music, rock and roll, and blues so well and so fluidly.

Let's take this track by track

1) Southern Streamline.
This is the song that hooked me. I saw a video for this song on CMT 6 or 7 years ago. I didn't know Fogerty led CCR, I just remembered how catchy the sound was. So I had the song burned for me on a CD and once the CD wore out, I sprung for the whole record. If there was no other song on this record, this track would be worth 15 bucks. The rhythm is fast but controlled. You hear electric rock guitar, Hank Williams style pedal steel guitar, and dobro. And each one is used just enough to keep the sound balanced and fresh. One of the most fun songs I can ever remember hearing.

2) Hot Rod Heart.
I heard this on Fogerty's live album Premonition, released in 1999. As the title suggests, this is a sweet driving song. Kenny Aronoff's bass drum keeps this song energized and tough.

3) Blueboy.
My first thought was this is John imitating Steve Winwood's "Roll With It." Not a bad song to sound similar to though. John's travels to the swamps of Arkansas, Mississippi, and Louisiana in preparation for this album is evident. Picture a little shack somewhere out in the boonies. And people head to that place to hear some good music.

4) A Hundred and Ten In the Shade.
This is the average critics' favorite track. It also won a Grammy for Best Rock Solo Performance. Very honest lyrics about hard labor. I love the 4 guys who sing backup on this track. They give it the downtrodden and painful feel the vocals needed. I love the one guy who ad-libs, "Oh yes, it's mighty mighty hot."

5) Rattlesnake Highway
This one is starting to grow on me. Pure aggression and frustration. A good song to listen to if you're having woman problems. Not like I would know...

6) Bring It Down to Jellyroll
Addictive. Addictive. Addictive. This song may even be more fun than "Streamline." John's loose and hard to understand vocals are great. The guitar solo is light and the organ solo with the drums and hand claps in the background is one of the most unique sounds on the record. I'm still not sure I know what a Jellyroll is but hey, you don't really need to. The lyrics hardly even matter here.

7) Walkin' in a Hurricane
Another fast played tough rock song.

8) Swamp River Days
Probably the best use of imagery on the record. The guitar riff is actually the same as "My Sharona." My favorite line is "Sweet Suzie do you think about me? That was good as it's ever gonna be." I can't help but think about Suzie Q, CCR's first single. Maybe he's saying the early days of Creedence were the best days before the band got famous. I doubt that's an intentional reference, but that's what it brings to mind for me.

9) Rambunctious Boy
The high sound of the guitar is reminiscent of the song Centerfield. That organ makes another appearance. A good song after a long week of work when you want to just kick back, have a cold drink (Alcoholic if you want!), and just be lazy.

10) Joy of My Life
John's first love song. I guess that's what a good marriage will do to a man. I've always liked the dobro and the prominent use of the dobro keeps this song from getting sappy or quaint.

11) Blue Moon Nights
I like that the whole record doesn't feel like hard rock. This song reminds me of what I might have heard coming out of Sun Studios in the 1950's with those early rockabilly records. That's if I hadn't been born 25 years later. Sounds like Johnny Cash, Carl Perkins, Roy Orbison, the early Elvis records. This song was actually used in the movie "The Rookie." Watch the scene where Jim Morris trying out for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays in camp.

12) Bad Bad Boy
Creedence could have done this song well. It's very simply produced. The lyrics are quick and straight forward. The guitar notes just echo and they sound sinister and dark but still sounds really approachable.

13) Just Pickin'
A fast 2-minute instrumental. Bonus track number 1.

14) Endless Sleep
This is the second bonus track. A cover tune from the 1950's. Somehow, the darker songs were saves for the end. The haunting tale about death and love doesn't take many risks musically. Which is good, since you have to listen to the song 20 times to get all the lyrics.

Thoughts on my teams

Let's start with hockey since I haven't had a chance to write about that since I started this blog. It's great to see the league going again. The Rangers have signed Marek Malik, Martin Straka, and Kevin Weekes.

First, I like Malik as he's a pretty reliable defenseman. With Malik, Poti, Kasparminus, Maxim, Tyutin, and Purinton on defense, that's not too bad. You've got mobile puck movers and you've got some muscle. The question is do you have the discipline?

Weekes was necessary. Now I'm all for young guys playing. But I don't feel good throwing 2 NHL rookies right into the fire at goaltender. Montoya, Lundqvist, and Blackburn (if he can ever play again) are just too inexperienced right now. It's good this team has a solid young veteran who can be spectacular when he's on.

Straka makes me uneasy. He had 2 very disappointing years and is 32 years old. But his best year came 5 years ago playing with Jaromir Jagr in Pittsburgh. Maybe reuniting with Jagr in New York will do some good.

Both the Giants and Jets wrapped up mini-camp. Good news. Nobody's out for the year yet. The pre-season starts in 2 weeks. Can you believe it? It's coming too soon. I still think the Giants will have the better year...

Larry Brown coaching the Knicks. My concern is will he be able to change the roster he already is stuck with? And will he make Isaiah make more personnel moves? And not just the players. How about the coaching staffs? There are a lot of god young players on this team. If we could get rid of say Tim Thomas, that would be good. I don;t want to see Marbury, Crawford, and Richardson all on the floor at the same time. They'll need three basketballs with that offense. And none of them know anything about playing defense. This will take at least 3 years of rebuilding. Hopefully, Mr. Brown will stick around long enough to see this team turn things around.

And how can I forget the Mets? Ah, the sweet orange and blue. The biggest tease since Y2K. Yes, they rallied and beat Milwaukee tonight. That's all well and good. But dropping 5 of 7 games to Colorado and Houston is not acceptable.

And I am just about out of patience with our 119 million dollar man Carlos Beltran. He goes 2-12 at bat in the first 3 games in Houston, his old park. The Mets were facing the wild card leaders. If there ever was a time for Beltran to step up, this would be it. And outside of 2 hits in the last game (the only win the Mets had), he was putrid. And tonight the Mets had 18 hits. That's the most they've had all season. And do you know how many of those hits Number 15 had?

ZERO! None. He went 0-for-6, including double plays in his final 2 at bats. An absolute joke. Nothing more to say. A joke is what Beltran has been in his first season in Flushing. This could be Kaz Matsui to the 50th power!

The Mets need a 9 out of 10 game winning streak or something to get back in this wild card race. Though it's early, there are just too many teams ahead of them. And they absolutely need to take 2 of 3 from the Cubs this weekend. Luckily Heath Bell is in the minors so he won't be giving up any gopher balls to Derrek Lee.

Can we put Aaron Heilman back in the rotation, please Willie?

Back after 6 weeks

Yeah, yeah, I was gone for too long.

Well I turned 24 last Sunday and had a mighty fine b-day. For the second time, I met the Whole F'N Show.

ROB VAN DAM.

Van Dam, for those of you that don't know, is one of the most entertaining wrestlers out there. Unfortunately he's on the sidelines with a torn ACL right now and won't be back until January. All in all it was good to see him again. It cost 27 bucks for an autographed photo! Man, 27 bucks! On top of the 11 dollars I had to pay to park my car and the 15 for a ticket to get in the convention where I met Van Dam which was ridiculous. But anyway, that aside...

Softball is going solid. We're headed to the playoffs seeded number one in the tournament. Our top 2 pitchers are out for the season but we can still win.

More to type...