And watched the Rangers-Devils instead of coming straight home. Because this is turning into one rough evening that should never have happened. I'm not feeling upset or angry, I'm just thinking things should have been different.
I came home to read great news on Facebook posted by a friend of the past. How things change so suddenly. And what I knew what was obvious got spelled out for me. Really, it was like reading a headline. "Conan sucks doing the Tonight Show." And then I checked the mail and found my college alumni magazine, one of the most pointless reads I get. It's like half faculty and student profiles and the other half is the most depressing stories about how screwed up the world is. The only thing worth reading in that thing is the catching up section. Fine quality paper though. Of course I found JA in big huge letters along with Friendly have edited a compilation book on Africa. And the damn thing is on Borders, Amazon, Tower Records. How about going there and staying? And take your memory with you.
Funny, I don't even care. Some people get rewarded differently than others. And some people are cursed in other areas. I only wish I knew the reasons for all of it. I guess this is my question. Why is it almost every time I get optimistic about the future does it get smashed? Whether by me or someone else? And to the few friends I have who are engaged, good luck. I hope you never have to go through what I've seen those close to me go through.
So it's all come to this. It's Tuesday night, I have to work, and I'm playing country music and hanging with Miller. The newspaper agate may not look too clean tomorrow. I just hope one day I figure out my place in this whole labyrinth. Because right now, I don't feel like I have one. And God help me, I'm 18 months from turning 30.
But tomorrow will come. Till then, BJ is on the speakers. Hey won't you play another somebody done somebody wrong song.
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