Brian is going home

First of all, I love snow. Now with the lying out of the way...

The good thing is Brian is home from the hospital as of late this afternoon. The only pain he has is from the five staples in his stomach, which will be removed on Thursday. He's able to go to the bathroom on his own now and will be able to eat solid food tomorrow. The doc told him he could eat anything he wants, but it has to be moderate. If he vomits, everything inside him that was sealed will be re-opened. And if he has any pain in the next two days, he has to contact the hospital immediately.

Danielle is back at school and I can't imagine where her state of mind is right now. So here's what we know right now. Brian and Susan will visit the hospital on Thursday where they will get the results of his radiology treatments. Though I know God is present and active and what he plans to have happen will happen, I admit I am still afraid of what could happen. I plan to call him tomorrow and we'll see what happens.

Why couldn't I be out of here?

This was the worst weekend for me to not be in New York. I have constantly been reminded of my failures and how I have been betrayed and what dicks people can truly be.

Volleyball is a joke. The league is competitive, don't get me wrong. From 1-4, I can almost say that anyone can bet anyone. But we should be better than we are. And the main reason why we're not better is me. I take responsibility. I have no ability to put a spike down this year. Kim probably thinks I'm absolutely worthless. Today, we played an amazing match against our former captain's new team. I could have cared less. I always put my team ahead of myself. But I can't do it anymore. I feel like such a hindrance. And damn it, I'm working out as hard as I ever have. Maybe I should get back to fried chicken and cheeseburgers every night. I don't know what the hell to do anymore.

Sometimes, I just don't fit in anywhere except when I'm alone. Oh, and it's nice to know Main and Franklin at 5 pm misses me... Screw them too.

I don't get it

Well, I was supposed to fly to New York this morning to see my father. For months, we planned to go to the Rangers-Panthers game at MSG Sunday night with my uncle Brian. My uncle is a Rangers season ticket holder, and he mailed me the tickets in December, for whatever reason. Last week, everything changed. I was standing in the library in the bio section when my phone buzzed. It's my father and he's in hysterics. I rarely, if ever, hear him in such an emotional state. He told me Brian has colon cancer. So the plan became Dad and I going alone. Well, throw in the foot of snow that has halted any means of travel in the northeast this week. So much for that.

Then on Friday, around 3:45, I'm working on my past due cash and I feel my phone go off again. It's Mom. She told me when the doctors operated on him, they found that the cancer had spread through Brian's liver. He was intensive care last night, though he was moved to a regular room today. Dad saw him and he looked ok. He didn't have a fever or any infections, but was in pain from where the doctors had cut him open. And he hasn't eaten solid food in almost a week, so he's lost a lot of weight. Apparently, he's going through another series of tests today. When these results come in about 5-7 days, they'll know exactly what Brian is facing and what kind of treatment they can try.

I'm just numb now. I don't speak to Brian once a week or once a month but we'd been e-mailing more often. I have as much respect for him as anyone in my family. He's smart, witty, upbeat, energetic, and the kind of glue that brings people together. He has that X-factor.

More than that, I worry for his family. Of course for Susan, his wife. But especially for Danielle, his daughter, my cousin at Cornell. They have a very tight relationship and I've heard she is doing absolutely terribly at this point. She's very quiet to begin with, I shudder to think what she will do if he goes this way.

And Dad. To think, he could lose both his parents and his only sibling inside a 2.5 year period.

Right now, I'm looking for any optimism. I've spent time on my knees, the Bible, inside dark, empty churches, in group settings with people I trust. All I can do his pray and support the family.

Finally getting around to it

I have no idea why I waited this long to post. That Super Bowl last Sunday night was as good a football game as I have ever watched. I always felt the Giants would be competitive with the Patriots. I honestly knew they had the ability to win. But in the end, I didn't see it happening. Yet in the end, the Giants are the World Champions, 17-14 over the almighty New England Patriots. A few notes on this game.

1) Whoever becomes the next President should hire Steve Spagnuolo has the secretary of defense. To hold that team to 14 points is amazing. The only defense in the world that Spagnuolo could probably not turn around is the Knicks.

2) Nobody can seem to come up with a name for Eli Manning's escape from the Patriot pass rush, pass down the middle of the field, and David Tyree's remarkable catch. Radio programs have devoted themselves to it, as have TV programs, newspapers, websites. I propose Giant Miracles. It's snappy. It's descriptive. It refers directly to the play.

3) How good it felt to see Tom Brady get knocked on his backside 19 times! Thank you Michael Strahan, Osi Umenyiora, Justin Tuck, Fred Robbins, Kawika Mitchell, and certainly, Jay Alford for that last sack.

4) A lot of people hate Eli Manning because he forced the trade from San Diego to the Giants when he was drafted. Even the people who hate have to respect him after what he did in this playoff run. He completed 61 percent of his passes, threw six TD's, and one interception (which was not his fault).

5) Michael Strahan can be seen as obnoxious. He's outspoken, no doubt about it. But he is a character and I appreciate he is willing to speak freely. His "Stomp you out" chant at City Hall was one of the most entertaining things I have ever seen.

Moving on...

6) Johan Santana has been introduced as a Met. I can't wait. And I just scored tickets for two games at Shea Stadium in July against the Cardinals.

7) Bret Hart's autobiography is an excellent book. In fact, as far as sports books go, I may call it the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be.

8) I'm amazed Mitt Romney dropped out of the race before Mike Huckabee. I'm still hoping for McCain vs Obama. I like Huckabee but the only way he could be elected President is if the south secedes from the North again.

9) Something about Wednesdays and snow in this town. The last three Wednesdays have brought on horrific storms. This is the one time I'm glad I don't have to drive my old Honda, which stopped on ice about as well as a snowmobile.

10) Singer Tom Jones just insured his chest hair for 7 million dollars. Uh, Tom, that is unusual.