This was the worst weekend for me to not be in New York. I have constantly been reminded of my failures and how I have been betrayed and what dicks people can truly be.
Volleyball is a joke. The league is competitive, don't get me wrong. From 1-4, I can almost say that anyone can bet anyone. But we should be better than we are. And the main reason why we're not better is me. I take responsibility. I have no ability to put a spike down this year. Kim probably thinks I'm absolutely worthless. Today, we played an amazing match against our former captain's new team. I could have cared less. I always put my team ahead of myself. But I can't do it anymore. I feel like such a hindrance. And damn it, I'm working out as hard as I ever have. Maybe I should get back to fried chicken and cheeseburgers every night. I don't know what the hell to do anymore.
Sometimes, I just don't fit in anywhere except when I'm alone. Oh, and it's nice to know Main and Franklin at 5 pm misses me... Screw them too.
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