The malaise

I've taken to using that word a bit a lately. I know of no other world that depicts the lackadaisical, care-free, boring attitude that the New York Mets have taken on over the last 12 months.

Going into the 7-game homestand against the dreadful Reds and Nationals, I wanted five wins. After that, it's the Yankees, Braves, and Rockies. Just a day at the beach with those three. We took 2 against Cincinnati, which was fine. After splitting the first two against Washington, Aaron Heilman blew yet another game, allowing four runs in 1/3 of an inning, Wasting Claudio Vargas' impressive Mets debut. Why Willie Randolph did not have Joe Smith warming up while Heilman was giving up run after run, I do not know. I have tried to maintain my support of the manager. It gets harder by the day. I don't know why, but as disappointed as I was, I promised I would not flip out.

Then came today's game. I will never forget this. Mike Pelfrey no-hits Washington through the sixth inning. And as gullible as I am, I really thought Pelfrey had a shot to throw the Mets' first no-hitter in almost 8,000 franchise games. It all seemed set up. The TV broadcasters working in the upper deck of Shea Stadium. So many Mets alumni in house. The team desperately needing a spark of some type.

But Aaron Boone singles in the seventh and that was it. Pelfrey escapes that and though the Met offense had mustered nothing (Wright hit his daily popup with two out and two runners on in the fifth), I felt good. But as soon as Jesus Flores doubled to left to lead off the eighth, I knew he was going to score. This SOB, who we let go for NOTHING, his going to haunt us for years. A sac fly and a sac bunt and he scores. The sac bunt was done by Willie Harris, who was double switched into the game for defense. I didn't understand why Manny Acta took Jason Bergmann out of the game, but more on that later.

Let's go to the Mets offense. Third inning. Castillo on first with two gone. Wright pops one up to shallow right. Inning over right? Wrong. Austin Kearns drops the ball. Castillo, who was jogging, gets as far as third base and doesn't score. But with his ravaged knees, I don't know if he would have made it anyway. But Wright, the golden boy, doesn't even run. He's lolly-gagging round like his ankles are shackled. Could have easily made it to second if he head been running. Once he sees the ball is dropped, he's barely past the first base bag and he has to hold. Not that it would matter as Beltran lines out to right.

Reyes leads off the eighth and despite barely getting his bat on the ball, he dribbles it down the third base line and made it to first. Castillo lays down a bunt and gets thrown out at first. Meanwhile, as Reyes slows down at second base, he notices nobody is covering third and he goes for it. Boone reads it and throws the ball to Christian Guzman, who easily tags the non-sliding Reyes. Wright pops out, inning over.

After Matt Wise strikes out Flores with two on in the top of the ninth, the Mets came up for one more shot. Beltran leads off with a single. I was hoping he would steal second base so a sacrifice fly could possibly score him form third. Up comes Ryan Church, our best position player all year, bar none. He flies the ball down the left field line midway between the infield and the wall. Harris dives and makes a ridiculous catch. If he misses that ball, Beltran is easily on third base. It's just like last year, when he robbed Delgado of a home run.

Delgado is up and I am feeling very queasy by this point. I have as much confidence in this guy getting a clutch hit as I had in Isiah Thomas making a good trade. Then Beltran takes off and Flores' throw flies in to center field, allowing Beltran to reach third without a throw. Now I'm feeling optimistic. On a 1-2 pitch from Jon Rauch, Delgado smashed a liner straight to Boone at first base. Beltran is frozen 15 feet down the line and Boone lobs the ball over to third for a game-ending double play. My head crashed to my desk and I didn't move for about a minute. We lose 1-0. So the homestand ends 3-4, and we're in fourth place, 20-19, 3 games out of first.

By the way, how does Willie sit Moises Alou for this game? And how does an offense with Jose Reyes, Luis Castillo, David Wright, Carlos Beltran, Ryan Church, and Carlos Delgado total three hits and no runs against a pitcher who entered the game fresh off minor league rehab and with an ERA of 11.68? We have wasted phenomenal starting pitching from two guys we never expected to get it from.

And tomorrow, I'm going downtown to hang with a bunch of other Mets fans to watch the first game of the Yankees series. I really have no idea how we're going to be feeling.

And I had a gift card for about 2 months from MLB.com and it expired today. I had to force myself to use it because I really didn't want to buy anything with the Mets logo on it. I feel the exact same numbness and frustration I felt last September when the Mets blew the division. Now there's no division lead to blow. Just another season.