I found this on a website I post at. I wish I could take credit for it, but I can't. Hopefully, the guy won't find out I'm copying it because it's too funny. This also goes well with my funeralized fantasy football team. I could have thrown another "f" in there, but that's not necessary. I lost the championship by ONE DAMN POINT 91-90!
Anyway, I spent 10 minutes just formatting the text so it would look right. And, I think this is a little too rough on Coach Herman Edwards, but here goes. This is to the tune of Don McLean's "American Pie."
A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How that ballclub used to make me smile.
And I knew if Herm just took a chance
That we could make it to the Big Dance
And, maybe, we’d be happy for a while.
But January made me shiver
With every kick Doug Brien didn’t deliver.
Bad news on the big screen;
I didn’t even give a scream.
I can’t remember if I cried
When I watch that last kick sail too wide,
But something crushed me deep inside
The day the season died.
So bye-bye, to my Jet fan high.
Smashed my remote as I emote,
And let the swears fly.
I feel like I could drink some arsenic and lye
Singin’, "this’ll be the Sunday I die."
this’ll be the Sunday I die."
Did you have a team you love,
And do you have faith in Weeb above,
If the old-timers tell you so?
Do you believe we won it all,
And that this franchise once stood real tall,
And can you tell me all you know?
Well, I know that we’re in love with them
`cause we watch despite all the mayhem.
We all kicked down some brews.
Cause it’s the only way to kill the blu-uuuuues. ( I added the extra u's there).
I am a miserable middle-aged dumb-ass schmuck
Whose heart is always run-over by a big green truck,
And have never even heard of luck
The day the season died.
I started singin’,“bye-bye,
to my Jet fan high.”
Smashed my remote as I emote,
And let the swears fly.
I feel like I could drink some arsenic and lye
Singin’, "this’ll be the Sunday I die."
this’ll be the Sunday I die."
Now for thirty-six years we could only dream
And Moss grows phat on another team,
But that’s not how it used to be.
When Broadway threw to win the game,
In pantyhose, we loved him just the same
And an arm that earned him a Super Bowl trophy,
Oh, and while the king was looking down,
Two bad knees stole his chance at second crown.
His legend is truly earned;
But the magic never returned.
And while the Sack Exchange led the attack,
Richard Todd almost got us back,
But AJ and mud gave a fade-to-black
The day the season died.
We were singing,“bye-bye, to my Jet fan high.”
Smashed my remote as I emote,
And let the swears fly.
I feel like I could drink some arsenic and lye
Singin’, "this’ll be the Sunday I die."
this’ll be the Sunday I die."
Kotite, what a fright, but the Tuna came to set it right.
The turnaround was an amazing sight,
Winning games and rising fast
At the Meadowlands they added grass.
Leon Johnson tried for a forward pass,
And same-old-Jets came back from the past.
Now the ninety-eight team brought a collective roar
As we finished the season twelve and four.
We all got up for the dance,
Oh, but we never got the chance!
As Curtis and KJ tried to take the field;
The Broncos D refused to yield.
Do you recall how Vinny was revealed
The day the season died?
We started singing,“bye-bye, to my Jet fan high.”
Smashed my remote as I emote,
And let the swears fly.
I feel like I could drink some arsenic and lye
Singin’, "this’ll be the Sunday I die."
this’ll be the Sunday I die."
Oh, here we all are in a strange new place
With a head coach who is lost in space
With no time left on the clock again.
So come on: Herm be nimble, Herm be quick!
Herm probably has a story about a candlestick
Cause BS is the Hermster’s only friend.
Oh, and as I watched him on the screen
My hands were clenched and I gave a scream.
No coordinator who gives ‘em hell
Could break old Herman’s spell.
And as the scores climbed high into the night
I knew that something wasn’t right,
I heard Herman saying “we’ll be alright”
The day the season died
He was singing,“bye-bye, to my Jet fan high.”
Smashed my remote as I emote,
And let the swears fly.
I feel like I could drink some arsenic and lye
Singin’, "this’ll be the Sunday I die."
this’ll be the Sunday I die."
We started a QB who gave us hope
Was he the savior….sorry…. nope,
He tore his shoulder and then turned away.
I went down to theganggreen.com board
I searched for answers, but my faith wasn’t restored,
And the men there said it was tough to watch them play.
And in the threads: the darksiders screamed,
The faithful cried, and the sunshiners dreamed.
A million words were spoken;
All of our hearts were broken.
And the three things I abhor the most:
The Fake Spike, the shovel pass and the SOJ ghost,
They all have made our beloved team toast
The day the season died.
We were singing,“bye-bye, to my Jet fan high.”
Smashed my remote as I emote,
And let the swears fly.
I feel like I could drink some arsenic and lye
Singin’, "this’ll be the Sunday I die."
this’ll be the Sunday I die."
We were singing,“bye-bye, to my Jet fan high.”
Smashed my remote as I emote,
And let the swears fly.
I feel like I could drink some arsenic and lye
Singin’, "this’ll be the Sunday I die."
this’ll be the Sunday I die."
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Saturday, December 24, 2005
I apologize to Tom Brady.
I've ripped this guy over and over. Some people think it was unnecesary. Well I still hate him more than any athlete not named Larry Jones. But I'm not going to rip him today. Instead I'm going to turn my attention to Washington WR Santana Moss, a true son of a bitch.
This midget couldn't ever produce as a Jet. He sucked for 5 years. He dropped passes, his size didn;t allow him to make big catches. All he did was catch a swing pass and the coaching staff expected him to break 11 tackles and score a touchdown. So this offseason, he goes to Washington and the Jets get back Laveraneus Coles and I was all for the trade. Pennington and Coles reunited. Joy to the World!!! Great trade!!!
What the hell happens? As it always goes for New York Football. Coles gets lost in the shuffle as the Jets use 4 quarterbacks and is barely heard from. He gets talked about as much as Harry Williams, the Jets 6th round draft pick this year, who hasn't played a down all year!
But that little bastard Moss becomes the FIRST PLAYER that Jet GM Terry Bradway has either drafted or signed that makes it to the Pro Bowl. And he does it with the Redskins. And the way he torched the Giants today was a damn joke. Did you see the way the Giants defense was tackling? That secondary? My 14-year old dog could have played better cornerback than Will Allen, Curtis DeLoatch, and Corey Webster. At least Hogan has some speed. But was that the Kansas City defense morphing into the Giant uniforms? What a debacle. The way they were walking around in the grass, it looked more like the Giants were playing golf or croquet!
But Moss was never half this player in green and white. It's like slamming your head against a concrete wall.
And everything plummets straight to hell for the Giants. Yeah, they may still make the playoffs, but they'll be one and done. Looking at the way they're plaing right now, they have no ability to beat Chicago, Seattle, or Carolina. Did Jeremy Shockey show up? Did Plaxico Burress show up? Better yet, did his hands show up? Nice drop on the first play of the game on what would have been a 50 yard touchdown. No Antonio Pierce. No William Joseph. No Kareem McKenzie. No Carlos Emmons. No pass defense. Next to no chance to get to the NFC title game, let alone the Super Bowl. Let's just move on to the WNBA or the AHL or professional lacrosse. Anything. The stupid World Baseball Classic.
And the Jets have been meaningless since September. What a Merry Christmas this is.
This midget couldn't ever produce as a Jet. He sucked for 5 years. He dropped passes, his size didn;t allow him to make big catches. All he did was catch a swing pass and the coaching staff expected him to break 11 tackles and score a touchdown. So this offseason, he goes to Washington and the Jets get back Laveraneus Coles and I was all for the trade. Pennington and Coles reunited. Joy to the World!!! Great trade!!!
What the hell happens? As it always goes for New York Football. Coles gets lost in the shuffle as the Jets use 4 quarterbacks and is barely heard from. He gets talked about as much as Harry Williams, the Jets 6th round draft pick this year, who hasn't played a down all year!
But that little bastard Moss becomes the FIRST PLAYER that Jet GM Terry Bradway has either drafted or signed that makes it to the Pro Bowl. And he does it with the Redskins. And the way he torched the Giants today was a damn joke. Did you see the way the Giants defense was tackling? That secondary? My 14-year old dog could have played better cornerback than Will Allen, Curtis DeLoatch, and Corey Webster. At least Hogan has some speed. But was that the Kansas City defense morphing into the Giant uniforms? What a debacle. The way they were walking around in the grass, it looked more like the Giants were playing golf or croquet!
But Moss was never half this player in green and white. It's like slamming your head against a concrete wall.
And everything plummets straight to hell for the Giants. Yeah, they may still make the playoffs, but they'll be one and done. Looking at the way they're plaing right now, they have no ability to beat Chicago, Seattle, or Carolina. Did Jeremy Shockey show up? Did Plaxico Burress show up? Better yet, did his hands show up? Nice drop on the first play of the game on what would have been a 50 yard touchdown. No Antonio Pierce. No William Joseph. No Kareem McKenzie. No Carlos Emmons. No pass defense. Next to no chance to get to the NFC title game, let alone the Super Bowl. Let's just move on to the WNBA or the AHL or professional lacrosse. Anything. The stupid World Baseball Classic.
And the Jets have been meaningless since September. What a Merry Christmas this is.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Conflict of interest, Fantasy
For the last two weeks, I've been entering professor and spring course information for a load of new colleges that we're entering into the Houghton Mifflin database. And I've already gotten two schools that are in Gordon's conference: Salve Regina and Eastern Nazarene College. ENC is our second biggest rival: alongside those evil Gulls of Endicott. ENC is the only other religious co-ed school in the 13-team conference, so the rivalry comes naturally, though it's more friendly than others. Then again, the only thing they're really good in is men's basketball so I don't have much of a problem with them. Now if they ask me to add Endicott, I will "politely" pass on that, thank you very much.
Fantasy football is winding down this week and one of my teams, Not Easy Bein' Green, is in the championship game. Even though I'm seeded second and he's first, I believe I have a great chance to win my first fantasy championship ever. Here's the lineup as of now.
My team
Carson Palmer (CIN QB)
Hines Ward (PIT WR)
Joey Galloway (TB WR)
Roy Williams (DET WR) or Plaxico Burress (NYG WR)
Shaun Alexander (SEA RB)
Ryan Moats (PHI RB) or Fred Taylor (JAX RB)
Tony Gonzalez (KC TE)
Jeff Wilkins (STL K)
Pittsburgh (vs. Cleveland) DEF or New England (vs. Jets) D
His team
Peyton Manning (IND QB)
Jimmy Smith (JAX WR)
Rod Smith (DEN WR)
Eddie Kennison (KC WR)
Larry Johnson (KC RB)
Greg Jones (JAX RB)
Jason Witten (DAL TE)
Jason Elam (DEN K)
Chicago (DEF)
Now Manning, first of all is not going to play much. Tony Dungy has said he will rest his starters after x amount of time since the Colts have homefield advantage secure. Nice move, Tony. You're a smart man. Jimmy Smith has a quad injury. Kennison has a sprained MCL and is questionable. Larry Johnson is my biggest concern. He's going aginst San Diego who will be desperate to get into the playoffs. The biggest question is will Greg Jones or Fred Taylor get more running opportunities. Taylor is the incumbent coming back, but Jones has been a fine replacement. Now Jones is hurting after getting a stinger last week. I have Jason Witten on my other fantasy team and he is useless. He scores a TD once every 4 weeks and that's it. Elam will get a few points against Oakland. The Chicago defense will probably do very well against the Bay of Pigs.
Carson Palmer is a guy I drafted in the sixth round and has been a steal. Against Buffalo, it at home should continue. Galloway and Ward have been fine all year. Burress or Williams? Williams is going against Atlanta and Burress against Washington, both very good pass defenses. I'm getting a little annoyed with Plaxico. Actually, it's really Eli Manning's inability to throw a straight pass that's hurting him. I like Shuan Alexander against the Colts if they are going to rest their regulars. And Indy Pro Bowl LB Cato June is out for the regular season. That can only help. Ryan Moats has been great and is playing Arizona, an average run defense. But Fred Taylor is back and playing the hideous Houston Texans, second worst in the league. Sometmes you need luck to do well and that happened to me in the draft for this league. I was the last guy to select a kicker and took Jeff Wilkins. He's been excellent. And with the Rams playing San Francisco at home, he'll score more than a few. I can play Pitt or NE on D and right now I'm leaning towards New England. I think Cleveland will give Pittsburgh a tough game and score some points. And the Jet offense is more prone to turnovers.
Right now, the Yahoo projected totals have me winning 70-54. But that's with Manning throwing for 80-99 yards and no touchdowns. I'll give him one, adding 6 points to his total. They have Palmer throwing 2 TD's for 250 yards and Alexander scoring 2 as well. Ward, Galloway, and Williams are all expected to score a touchdown which I don't think is realistic. My WR play has been very disappointing as of late. I'll take 6 points out of my total. That would have me winning 64-60.
Last year I won the regular season title and fell in the semifinals over not having access to a computer for 3 days since I was traveling out east. I couldn't make the subs I wanted to and lost. That's not happening this time around.
OK, time to enter Eastern Nazarene's information...
Fantasy football is winding down this week and one of my teams, Not Easy Bein' Green, is in the championship game. Even though I'm seeded second and he's first, I believe I have a great chance to win my first fantasy championship ever. Here's the lineup as of now.
My team
Carson Palmer (CIN QB)
Hines Ward (PIT WR)
Joey Galloway (TB WR)
Roy Williams (DET WR) or Plaxico Burress (NYG WR)
Shaun Alexander (SEA RB)
Ryan Moats (PHI RB) or Fred Taylor (JAX RB)
Tony Gonzalez (KC TE)
Jeff Wilkins (STL K)
Pittsburgh (vs. Cleveland) DEF or New England (vs. Jets) D
His team
Peyton Manning (IND QB)
Jimmy Smith (JAX WR)
Rod Smith (DEN WR)
Eddie Kennison (KC WR)
Larry Johnson (KC RB)
Greg Jones (JAX RB)
Jason Witten (DAL TE)
Jason Elam (DEN K)
Chicago (DEF)
Now Manning, first of all is not going to play much. Tony Dungy has said he will rest his starters after x amount of time since the Colts have homefield advantage secure. Nice move, Tony. You're a smart man. Jimmy Smith has a quad injury. Kennison has a sprained MCL and is questionable. Larry Johnson is my biggest concern. He's going aginst San Diego who will be desperate to get into the playoffs. The biggest question is will Greg Jones or Fred Taylor get more running opportunities. Taylor is the incumbent coming back, but Jones has been a fine replacement. Now Jones is hurting after getting a stinger last week. I have Jason Witten on my other fantasy team and he is useless. He scores a TD once every 4 weeks and that's it. Elam will get a few points against Oakland. The Chicago defense will probably do very well against the Bay of Pigs.
Carson Palmer is a guy I drafted in the sixth round and has been a steal. Against Buffalo, it at home should continue. Galloway and Ward have been fine all year. Burress or Williams? Williams is going against Atlanta and Burress against Washington, both very good pass defenses. I'm getting a little annoyed with Plaxico. Actually, it's really Eli Manning's inability to throw a straight pass that's hurting him. I like Shuan Alexander against the Colts if they are going to rest their regulars. And Indy Pro Bowl LB Cato June is out for the regular season. That can only help. Ryan Moats has been great and is playing Arizona, an average run defense. But Fred Taylor is back and playing the hideous Houston Texans, second worst in the league. Sometmes you need luck to do well and that happened to me in the draft for this league. I was the last guy to select a kicker and took Jeff Wilkins. He's been excellent. And with the Rams playing San Francisco at home, he'll score more than a few. I can play Pitt or NE on D and right now I'm leaning towards New England. I think Cleveland will give Pittsburgh a tough game and score some points. And the Jet offense is more prone to turnovers.
Right now, the Yahoo projected totals have me winning 70-54. But that's with Manning throwing for 80-99 yards and no touchdowns. I'll give him one, adding 6 points to his total. They have Palmer throwing 2 TD's for 250 yards and Alexander scoring 2 as well. Ward, Galloway, and Williams are all expected to score a touchdown which I don't think is realistic. My WR play has been very disappointing as of late. I'll take 6 points out of my total. That would have me winning 64-60.
Last year I won the regular season title and fell in the semifinals over not having access to a computer for 3 days since I was traveling out east. I couldn't make the subs I wanted to and lost. That's not happening this time around.
OK, time to enter Eastern Nazarene's information...
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
The state of the Knicks
This is a quote from Marc Berman in Satuday's New York Post.
In underscoring the greenness of his young players, Larry Brown said, "One guy asked me, 'How do I know the [shot clock] time?' Well, it's on top of the backboard. I never thought I'd have to have that kind of response, but you can't take anything for granted.
This whole franchise is so buried in the dumpster, it's absolutely ridiculous. Was it only 6 years ago that we were in the finals?
In underscoring the greenness of his young players, Larry Brown said, "One guy asked me, 'How do I know the [shot clock] time?' Well, it's on top of the backboard. I never thought I'd have to have that kind of response, but you can't take anything for granted.
This whole franchise is so buried in the dumpster, it's absolutely ridiculous. Was it only 6 years ago that we were in the finals?
Monday, December 19, 2005
ECW! ECW! ECW!
Great news peeps! WWE is releasing an ECW DVD! Lots of matches on this thing and it comes out in February. If I get a girlfriend by then, this will have to be my Valentine's Day gift. Nothing like a Sabu-Terry Funk barb wire match that says L-O-V-E. I've got the match listings and here are my thoughts.
*ECW World Tag Team champions The Public Enemy vs. Cactus Jack & Mikey Whipwreck (August 27, 1994 at ECW Arena)
Cactus and Mikey win over one of the best tag teams of the early ECW. Terry Funk was supposed to team with Cactus in this match, but couldn't make it. Mikey was the ultimate loser/jobber. For about 4 months of wrestling, he never got in ONE OFFENSIVE MANEUVER. He always talked about how scared he was to wrestle and how his opponent would kill him and he cried on camera. And people fell in love with him. This should be good.
*The Sandman & Terry Funk vs. Cactus Jack & ECW World champion Shane Douglas (March 17, 1995, ECW Arena)
I think Shane turn on Cactus here. Cactus and Shane were actually trained together in Pennsylvania by Dominic Denucci. When Funk and Cactus go at it, it's awesome.
*Axl Rotten vs. Ian Rotten - Taipei Death Match (Hardcore Heaven '95, July 7, 1995)
The Bad Breed was the name of this one-time tag team. I've heard bad things about this match, so I don't know why it's here.
*Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Psychosis - Mexican Death Match (November to Remember '95, November 18, 1995)
I remember watching Rey Mysterio and Psychosis wrestle on the second or so ECW show I watched. I knew immediately Rey had potential to be huge. Remember these types of matches were from 1995, back when Kevin Nash was WWE champion, defending against King Mabel and WCW Monday Nitro was just getting off the ground. Hulk Hogan vs. The Giant was the big feud there. So to watch this kind of fast, aggressive wrestling was really exciting.
*ECW World Television champion Chris Jericho vs. Shane Douglas vs. 2 Cold Scorpio vs. Pitbull #2 (ECW Heatwave '96)
This was a legendary match for the TV title. Jericho was the up and coming star, Pit Bull 2, one half of a great tag team, whose tag partner would soon have his neck broken at the hands of Douglas, Scorpio, the flashy, but solid veteran, Douglas was one of the best heels around, and this match really propelled him into that spot. Francine, the Pit Bulls valet, joined up with Douglas in this match, cost Pit Bull 2 the match, and the Pit Bulls super bomb (top rope powerbomb) her through a table. I hear it went 40 minutes and is a wrestling classic. I'm excited to watch it.
*Tommy Dreamer vs. Brian Lee - Weapons Match (ECW Hardcore Heaven '96)
Brian Lee was Chainz and Ted DiBiase's Undertaker in WWE. Dreamer, the ECW folk hero who represented the company with more heart than anyone ever did. I have a scaffold match between these two, where the ring was filled with tables. The fall Lee took off the scaffold and through all the tables has to be seen to be believed. Lee is not a great wrestler, in that he never seemed to show much passion. Let's see what this match has.
*Sabu vs. Rob Van Dam - Stretcher Match (The Doctor is In, August 3, 1996)
RVD is one of my 3 or 4 favorite wrestlers ever. Sabu is wrestling's human highlight reel. They had some phenomenal matches, both as a tag team and against each other. But I will skip this. I have it on another DVD, and I was disappointed. There were several blown spots and I just felt of the 4 or 5 matches I have with them in the ring together, this is the lowest of them all.
Terry Funk vs. Sandman vs. Stevie Richards (ECW Barely Legal)
From ECW's first pay per view in April 13, 1997. Excellent three-way match with the rising star in Richards (and he would have gotten bigger if he hadn't broken his neck a month later), Sandman (the hardcore icon), and Funk (a legend who has more retirements than Gordie Howe and Evander Holyfield combined). Right after this match, Funk beat Raven (my all-time least favorite ECW wrestler) to win the ECW world title. Talk about emotion. I wish I could have been there. Then again, I was 16 and had school the next day.
*ECW World champion Terry Funk vs. Sabu - No Ropes Barbed Wire Match (Born to Be Wired)
I remember watching an ECW show and they were advertising this match on home video. Joey Styles, the announcer, said "There are some who say that the Terry Funk-Sabu barbed wire match was too extreme even for ECW. And we would be hard pressed not to agree. The crew actually took the ropes down and strung up barbed wire all around the ring. This will be tough to watch. That said, I wanted it on the DVD.
*Beulah McGillicutty vs. Bill Alfonso (As Good as It Gets, September 1997 at ECW Arena)
Perhaps the most beautiful woman in wrestling ever (and Tommy Dreamer's current wife) vs. RVD's manager with the highest, loudest, squeakiest male voice ever. I know Paul Heyman loved this match, as he called it one of the hardest hitting matches ever in the history of the company. That's quite a claim.
*Taz vs. Bam Bam Bigelow - ECW Death Match (ECW Heatwave '98 PPV)
Yeah, I have this on DVD too. Brooklyn, NY and Red Hook's own Taz (with one z) defends his TV title against the Beast From the East in Bigelow's home, Asbury Park. This was after the Lawrence Taylor Wrestlemania debacle, by the way. A good match, with a classic finish.
*ECW World champion Shane Douglas vs. Tazz (Guilty As Charged '99 PPV)
Taz finally wins the title. The Path of Rage begins.
*The Dudley Boyz vs. Spike Dudley & Balls Mahoney - Chicago Street Fight
Man I hated the Dudleys. Everyone did. I gladly would have spent my money to watch the Dudleys get beat up any day. And isn't Balls Mahoney one of the greatest wrestling names ever?
*ECW World champion Mike Awesome vs. Spike Dudley (Guilty As Charged 2000 PPV)
Spike took some of the sickest bumps ever. Safe bet he'll be taking a few powerbombs in this match.
*Rhino vs. The Sandman (ECW on TNN, February 2000)
Rhino was going to be the company's next huge heel if the company had not gone under. Hopefully, the company will pay the extra royalty money so we can hear Sandman come out to "Enter Sandman." It's not the same without it.
*Super Crazy vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Little Guido (ECW on TNN, March 2000)
International cruiserweights. Don't know what to expect.
*Tommy Dreamer vs. CW Anderson - "I Quit" Match (ECW Guilty as Charged 2001)
CW looked just like Ole Anderson. Something about an I Quit match always raises the ante.
*Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka (ECW One Night Stand PPV)
The best match from 6-12-05, ECW's reunion show. At the end, the fans were chanting "This match rules!" It did.
All in all, not a bad selection. The entire reign of ECW is pretty well represented and the attention given to the different wrestlers is fair. I do wish Raven had been included. He was the easiest guy in the world to hate. I'm really upset the Eliminators, the greatest tag team of all time, are not on here. No team I have ever seen in 20 years could outwork Perry Saturn and John Kronus. And I would have liked to have seen Eddy Guerrerro vs. Dean Malenko from their legendary 1995 feud. There could be a little more straight up wrestling on here.
Hopefully, there will be some promos here too. Steve Austin, Cactus Jack, and Tazz are the top 3 I would want to see. I would love to see Austin doing his Monday Nyquil skit, when he parodied Monday Nitro and impersonated Eric Bischoff.
*ECW World Tag Team champions The Public Enemy vs. Cactus Jack & Mikey Whipwreck (August 27, 1994 at ECW Arena)
Cactus and Mikey win over one of the best tag teams of the early ECW. Terry Funk was supposed to team with Cactus in this match, but couldn't make it. Mikey was the ultimate loser/jobber. For about 4 months of wrestling, he never got in ONE OFFENSIVE MANEUVER. He always talked about how scared he was to wrestle and how his opponent would kill him and he cried on camera. And people fell in love with him. This should be good.
*The Sandman & Terry Funk vs. Cactus Jack & ECW World champion Shane Douglas (March 17, 1995, ECW Arena)
I think Shane turn on Cactus here. Cactus and Shane were actually trained together in Pennsylvania by Dominic Denucci. When Funk and Cactus go at it, it's awesome.
*Axl Rotten vs. Ian Rotten - Taipei Death Match (Hardcore Heaven '95, July 7, 1995)
The Bad Breed was the name of this one-time tag team. I've heard bad things about this match, so I don't know why it's here.
*Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Psychosis - Mexican Death Match (November to Remember '95, November 18, 1995)
I remember watching Rey Mysterio and Psychosis wrestle on the second or so ECW show I watched. I knew immediately Rey had potential to be huge. Remember these types of matches were from 1995, back when Kevin Nash was WWE champion, defending against King Mabel and WCW Monday Nitro was just getting off the ground. Hulk Hogan vs. The Giant was the big feud there. So to watch this kind of fast, aggressive wrestling was really exciting.
*ECW World Television champion Chris Jericho vs. Shane Douglas vs. 2 Cold Scorpio vs. Pitbull #2 (ECW Heatwave '96)
This was a legendary match for the TV title. Jericho was the up and coming star, Pit Bull 2, one half of a great tag team, whose tag partner would soon have his neck broken at the hands of Douglas, Scorpio, the flashy, but solid veteran, Douglas was one of the best heels around, and this match really propelled him into that spot. Francine, the Pit Bulls valet, joined up with Douglas in this match, cost Pit Bull 2 the match, and the Pit Bulls super bomb (top rope powerbomb) her through a table. I hear it went 40 minutes and is a wrestling classic. I'm excited to watch it.
*Tommy Dreamer vs. Brian Lee - Weapons Match (ECW Hardcore Heaven '96)
Brian Lee was Chainz and Ted DiBiase's Undertaker in WWE. Dreamer, the ECW folk hero who represented the company with more heart than anyone ever did. I have a scaffold match between these two, where the ring was filled with tables. The fall Lee took off the scaffold and through all the tables has to be seen to be believed. Lee is not a great wrestler, in that he never seemed to show much passion. Let's see what this match has.
*Sabu vs. Rob Van Dam - Stretcher Match (The Doctor is In, August 3, 1996)
RVD is one of my 3 or 4 favorite wrestlers ever. Sabu is wrestling's human highlight reel. They had some phenomenal matches, both as a tag team and against each other. But I will skip this. I have it on another DVD, and I was disappointed. There were several blown spots and I just felt of the 4 or 5 matches I have with them in the ring together, this is the lowest of them all.
Terry Funk vs. Sandman vs. Stevie Richards (ECW Barely Legal)
From ECW's first pay per view in April 13, 1997. Excellent three-way match with the rising star in Richards (and he would have gotten bigger if he hadn't broken his neck a month later), Sandman (the hardcore icon), and Funk (a legend who has more retirements than Gordie Howe and Evander Holyfield combined). Right after this match, Funk beat Raven (my all-time least favorite ECW wrestler) to win the ECW world title. Talk about emotion. I wish I could have been there. Then again, I was 16 and had school the next day.
*ECW World champion Terry Funk vs. Sabu - No Ropes Barbed Wire Match (Born to Be Wired)
I remember watching an ECW show and they were advertising this match on home video. Joey Styles, the announcer, said "There are some who say that the Terry Funk-Sabu barbed wire match was too extreme even for ECW. And we would be hard pressed not to agree. The crew actually took the ropes down and strung up barbed wire all around the ring. This will be tough to watch. That said, I wanted it on the DVD.
*Beulah McGillicutty vs. Bill Alfonso (As Good as It Gets, September 1997 at ECW Arena)
Perhaps the most beautiful woman in wrestling ever (and Tommy Dreamer's current wife) vs. RVD's manager with the highest, loudest, squeakiest male voice ever. I know Paul Heyman loved this match, as he called it one of the hardest hitting matches ever in the history of the company. That's quite a claim.
*Taz vs. Bam Bam Bigelow - ECW Death Match (ECW Heatwave '98 PPV)
Yeah, I have this on DVD too. Brooklyn, NY and Red Hook's own Taz (with one z) defends his TV title against the Beast From the East in Bigelow's home, Asbury Park. This was after the Lawrence Taylor Wrestlemania debacle, by the way. A good match, with a classic finish.
*ECW World champion Shane Douglas vs. Tazz (Guilty As Charged '99 PPV)
Taz finally wins the title. The Path of Rage begins.
*The Dudley Boyz vs. Spike Dudley & Balls Mahoney - Chicago Street Fight
Man I hated the Dudleys. Everyone did. I gladly would have spent my money to watch the Dudleys get beat up any day. And isn't Balls Mahoney one of the greatest wrestling names ever?
*ECW World champion Mike Awesome vs. Spike Dudley (Guilty As Charged 2000 PPV)
Spike took some of the sickest bumps ever. Safe bet he'll be taking a few powerbombs in this match.
*Rhino vs. The Sandman (ECW on TNN, February 2000)
Rhino was going to be the company's next huge heel if the company had not gone under. Hopefully, the company will pay the extra royalty money so we can hear Sandman come out to "Enter Sandman." It's not the same without it.
*Super Crazy vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Little Guido (ECW on TNN, March 2000)
International cruiserweights. Don't know what to expect.
*Tommy Dreamer vs. CW Anderson - "I Quit" Match (ECW Guilty as Charged 2001)
CW looked just like Ole Anderson. Something about an I Quit match always raises the ante.
*Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka (ECW One Night Stand PPV)
The best match from 6-12-05, ECW's reunion show. At the end, the fans were chanting "This match rules!" It did.
All in all, not a bad selection. The entire reign of ECW is pretty well represented and the attention given to the different wrestlers is fair. I do wish Raven had been included. He was the easiest guy in the world to hate. I'm really upset the Eliminators, the greatest tag team of all time, are not on here. No team I have ever seen in 20 years could outwork Perry Saturn and John Kronus. And I would have liked to have seen Eddy Guerrerro vs. Dean Malenko from their legendary 1995 feud. There could be a little more straight up wrestling on here.
Hopefully, there will be some promos here too. Steve Austin, Cactus Jack, and Tazz are the top 3 I would want to see. I would love to see Austin doing his Monday Nyquil skit, when he parodied Monday Nitro and impersonated Eric Bischoff.
For JA in MA
Songs about Rain-Gary Allan
Well this town has closed down, way too early
And there's nothing to do
So I'm driving around in circles
And I'm thinking about you
Today I heard you got a new last name
I sure didn't know it was gonna hit me this way
And the radio just keeps on playing all these songs About Rain...
Now there's all kinds of songs about babies and love that goes right.
But for some unknown reason nobody wants to play them tonight.
Hey, I hope it's sunny wherever you are.
That's sure not the picture, tonight in my car
And it sure ain't easin' my pain all these songs like...
"Rainy Night In Georgia"and "Kentucky Rain"
"Here Comes That Rainy Day Feeling Again".
"Blue Eyes Cryin' in the early morning rain"
They go on and on, and there's no two the same
Oh it would be easy to blame all these songs aAbout rain.
Well, I thought I was over you but I guess maybe I'm not.
Cause when I let you go looks like lonely is all that I got.
I guess I'll never know what could have been.
It sure ain't helping this mood that I'm in.
If they're gonna keep on playin these songs like...
"Rainy Night In Georgia"and "Kentucky Rain"
"Here Comes That Rainy Day Feeling Again"
"Blue Eyes Cryin" in the early morning rain"
They go on and on, and there's no two the same
Oh how I wish I could blame all these songs about rain
Well this town has closed down, way too early
And there's nothing to do
So I'm driving around in circles
And I'm thinking about you
Today I heard you got a new last name
I sure didn't know it was gonna hit me this way
And the radio just keeps on playing all these songs About Rain...
Now there's all kinds of songs about babies and love that goes right.
But for some unknown reason nobody wants to play them tonight.
Hey, I hope it's sunny wherever you are.
That's sure not the picture, tonight in my car
And it sure ain't easin' my pain all these songs like...
"Rainy Night In Georgia"and "Kentucky Rain"
"Here Comes That Rainy Day Feeling Again".
"Blue Eyes Cryin' in the early morning rain"
They go on and on, and there's no two the same
Oh it would be easy to blame all these songs aAbout rain.
Well, I thought I was over you but I guess maybe I'm not.
Cause when I let you go looks like lonely is all that I got.
I guess I'll never know what could have been.
It sure ain't helping this mood that I'm in.
If they're gonna keep on playin these songs like...
"Rainy Night In Georgia"and "Kentucky Rain"
"Here Comes That Rainy Day Feeling Again"
"Blue Eyes Cryin" in the early morning rain"
They go on and on, and there's no two the same
Oh how I wish I could blame all these songs about rain
Friday, December 16, 2005
Another week goes by
And so another work week is drawing to a close. The snow is piling up, the temperature is dropping, and so are the Giants. I don't see any realistic way they can beat Kansas City's No. 1 ranked offense on Saturday without superstar linebacker Antonio Pierce in uniform and on the field. I just don't feel good about this game, unless they can force a few KC turnovers. I'm starting to think the Giants will be a wild card. I hope I'm wrong...
Great Houghton Mifflin holiday party Thursday night. One of the best parties I've ever been to. Then again, considering the number of parties I've been to in my life, that may not be saying much. Good food, the people were great, solid entertainment, everyone had a fine time. To me it's really a testament to the power and to the draw of an open bar. Went to bed with a little buzz, which hasn't happened to me since I was in Mexico over a year ago. Guess there's a second time for everything.
If short people are referred to as vertically challenged, is it okay to refer to overweight people as horizontally challenged?
Convicted hit man Jimmy "Two Shoes" McClardy confessed today that he was hired to beat a cow in a field using two small porcelain figurines. Police say this may be the first known case of a knick-knack paddy wack.
Song pick: Mindy Smith "One Moment More"
Great Houghton Mifflin holiday party Thursday night. One of the best parties I've ever been to. Then again, considering the number of parties I've been to in my life, that may not be saying much. Good food, the people were great, solid entertainment, everyone had a fine time. To me it's really a testament to the power and to the draw of an open bar. Went to bed with a little buzz, which hasn't happened to me since I was in Mexico over a year ago. Guess there's a second time for everything.
If short people are referred to as vertically challenged, is it okay to refer to overweight people as horizontally challenged?
Convicted hit man Jimmy "Two Shoes" McClardy confessed today that he was hired to beat a cow in a field using two small porcelain figurines. Police say this may be the first known case of a knick-knack paddy wack.
Song pick: Mindy Smith "One Moment More"
Friday, December 09, 2005
USA in trouble
I'm referring to the World Cup soccer tournament drawing that was held today. The USA, ranked 8th in the world, is in group E with Italy (12) Czech Republic (2) (who basically score at the same pace as the Ottawa Senators or the Indianapolis Colts) and Ghana (50). I give the USA a very slim chance to get one of the top 2 records in that group and advance.
I totaled the FIFA rankings for all 8 groups. The four combined teams in Group E is 72. The lower the number, obviously, the better the ranking, and the better the teams are. The next best group is Group F with Brazil (1), Japan (15), Croatia (15), and Australia (49) for a total of 85. But the key is not winning your group, it's how tough the competition is from the other teams in order to advance. The Czech Republic was the second ranked team in the world and not even considered one of the top 8 seeds for this tournament. Amazing.
The only way it probably could have been worse is if they were in Group C with Argentina (3) and the Netherlands (4). This will not be easy.
My South American team, Ecuador, is the lowest ranked team in their group. They're 37 and draw the hosts, Germany, Poland (23), and Costa Rica (27). Plus, if I can score a goal in a game against a group of Ecuadorian soccer players, they're probably not too great anyway.
Mexico has an easy path to the second round. At least they'll play Iran in their group where someone has to lose!
I totaled the FIFA rankings for all 8 groups. The four combined teams in Group E is 72. The lower the number, obviously, the better the ranking, and the better the teams are. The next best group is Group F with Brazil (1), Japan (15), Croatia (15), and Australia (49) for a total of 85. But the key is not winning your group, it's how tough the competition is from the other teams in order to advance. The Czech Republic was the second ranked team in the world and not even considered one of the top 8 seeds for this tournament. Amazing.
The only way it probably could have been worse is if they were in Group C with Argentina (3) and the Netherlands (4). This will not be easy.
My South American team, Ecuador, is the lowest ranked team in their group. They're 37 and draw the hosts, Germany, Poland (23), and Costa Rica (27). Plus, if I can score a goal in a game against a group of Ecuadorian soccer players, they're probably not too great anyway.
Mexico has an easy path to the second round. At least they'll play Iran in their group where someone has to lose!
Friday morning, yes!
Six inches of snow blanket Chicago last night.
The good news: I left work 30 minutes early after my boss invited me to. The bad news: I was supposed to drive 45 minutes to Warrenville and watch a movie with my church group. After mom and Unger went on and on about how worried they were, I decided not to go. I was ticked off, but dealt with it. At least I got to hear the broadcast of the Rangers 5-1 win over Nashville. I don't know how, but they did it.
I was actually posting on the Rangers bulletin board during the first period. Now this board is ultra sensitive to bad words. You can't even write the word "sucks." So I'm typing in my post and I don't remember the entire context, but the words "of a goal" were in there. So I submit my post and then I look at the board to make sure it's in. I noticed something unusual. The three words I just typed above were censored. I couldn't figure it out. Then I realized what had happened. "of a goal" contains three letters in a row that refer to a derogatory name for gays. And the computer detected it and censored it. I was just bewildered. I mean, come on, what a joke.
The Braves trade away Andy Marte, Danny Kolb, and Johnny Estrada and get back Wes Obermuller, Lance Cormier, and Oscar the Grouch Villareal. Oh, and they got Edgar Renteria. So what do the Mets do? They sign Jose Valentin, who I think could be a fine utility player provided he's healthy. There's no guarantee of that though. He's a good hitter, and he can certainly replace Marlon Anderson, but I question his defensive abilities. And they sign the only active baseball player who was actually once a teammate of Ty Cobb, Julio Franco. 47 years old. Two guaranteed years. What do we need him for? We have Chris Woodward and Xavier Nady on the bench. The king of grounding into double plays in big spots is on the Mets.
I don't like signing guys like this because I think a team needs to play together for a year or two to develop a team atmosphere. You want some guys who can grow into identifying themselves with the jersey they wear on the field every day. Franco is not one of those guys and he's certainly not about to produce for us like he did for Atlanta.
Today is my last day doing course profiling at Houghton Mifflin. I'm going to be starting a new project of sorts on Monday. And by the end of the weekend, I will have a list of the best college names that I have come across while doing this job. And I already have Number One picked out.
The good news: I left work 30 minutes early after my boss invited me to. The bad news: I was supposed to drive 45 minutes to Warrenville and watch a movie with my church group. After mom and Unger went on and on about how worried they were, I decided not to go. I was ticked off, but dealt with it. At least I got to hear the broadcast of the Rangers 5-1 win over Nashville. I don't know how, but they did it.
I was actually posting on the Rangers bulletin board during the first period. Now this board is ultra sensitive to bad words. You can't even write the word "sucks." So I'm typing in my post and I don't remember the entire context, but the words "of a goal" were in there. So I submit my post and then I look at the board to make sure it's in. I noticed something unusual. The three words I just typed above were censored. I couldn't figure it out. Then I realized what had happened. "of a goal" contains three letters in a row that refer to a derogatory name for gays. And the computer detected it and censored it. I was just bewildered. I mean, come on, what a joke.
The Braves trade away Andy Marte, Danny Kolb, and Johnny Estrada and get back Wes Obermuller, Lance Cormier, and Oscar the Grouch Villareal. Oh, and they got Edgar Renteria. So what do the Mets do? They sign Jose Valentin, who I think could be a fine utility player provided he's healthy. There's no guarantee of that though. He's a good hitter, and he can certainly replace Marlon Anderson, but I question his defensive abilities. And they sign the only active baseball player who was actually once a teammate of Ty Cobb, Julio Franco. 47 years old. Two guaranteed years. What do we need him for? We have Chris Woodward and Xavier Nady on the bench. The king of grounding into double plays in big spots is on the Mets.
I don't like signing guys like this because I think a team needs to play together for a year or two to develop a team atmosphere. You want some guys who can grow into identifying themselves with the jersey they wear on the field every day. Franco is not one of those guys and he's certainly not about to produce for us like he did for Atlanta.
Today is my last day doing course profiling at Houghton Mifflin. I'm going to be starting a new project of sorts on Monday. And by the end of the weekend, I will have a list of the best college names that I have come across while doing this job. And I already have Number One picked out.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
A disaster in Chicago
How are the Rangers winners of 20 games? This was a piss-poor performance as they lose 2-1 in overtime to the lousy, stinky, beat up Chicago Blackhawks, losers of 5 of their last 6.
I attended the game last night at the United Center. I even left work early so I could get there right when the doors opened at 6 p.m. And I did. I had several Rangers fans sitting around me as well. There may have been a few hundred of us in the arena. And all the ends of the stadium were empty. The areas behind the goalies were just a sea of red. Either that or all the people were dressed like chairs.
The first period was totally uneventful. No shots for the first eight minutes by either team. The Rangers had two power plays, didn't score. But they had no pressure at all. Their only close chance came when Steve Rucchin hit the post. Actually the Rangers hit 3 posts during the game. The off the post shot is as much a staple of the Ranger offense and the fumbled snap is of the New York Jet offense.
Now I expected ex-Blackhawk Michael Nylander to do something big in this game. And he did. Pressuring Jim Vandermeer in the Ranger offensive zone, the puck came loose and Petr Prucha scored. 1-0 Rangers midway through the second period.
The bliss lasts for..... eighteen seconds. Before you were done cheering, before the Hawk announcer finished the goal summary over the PA, the Hawks get the puck into the Ranger zone. Nobody seems to see Jaroslav Spacek all alone in the slot. Matthew Barnaby, of all people, passes to him. He shoots, he scores, he ties the game. Somehow, I wasn't surprised. I really wasn't.
Now onto my biggest gripe. I have never seen a power play so inept. I can't imagine it was this bad for the last seven years. Even when they got a 4 minute power play late in the second, I knew they weren't going to score. I said out loud "OK, here comes four minutes of scoreless hockey." That's what happened. Time after time, the Rangers would get into the Hawk zone, pass around the blue line twice, then miss a pass, and the defense would clear the zone. No Ranger dared stand in front of the net and create a little traffic in front of Nikolai Khabibulin. It was like watching the New York Jet offense get the football at the other team's 40 yard line, run 3 plays (with 2 being runs up the middle), and try to kick a field goal. A passive, soft conservative offense that does not work.
But what drove me nuts was the third period. The Rangers have played the third period well all year long. They come out and run Chicago all over the ice. The Hawks never sustained any offensive pressure for more than 30 seconds at a time. The Rangers had breakaways, one-timers, shots from the slot, and nothing went in! Tom Poti stopped point blank. Ryan Hollweg and Martin Rucinsky fail on breakaways. Dominic Moore has Khabibulin flat on his stomach and a wide open net. All he had to do was lift the damn puck six inches! But no. The puck goes right off his stick. The game goes to overtime.
I should also note that the Hawks always had 2 guys in front of their own net. It's as if they were playing not to lose. They were seemingly waiting for the Rangers to screw up and take advantage. Speaking of which...
Martin Rucinsky takes one of the stupidest penalties I have ever seen. 45 seconds into overtime, he sticks his stick up a Hawk's nose. I mean, even Luke Petigout of the Giants was probably watching it and going, "What the hell is he thinking?" A four minute penalty and I got ready to leave. I knew it was over. Not even one minute later, they score. Game over. With my seat two steps from an exit I just got out of there as fast as I could. For any cheering Hawk fan, I reminded them which team was in first place. I should've started a 1961 chant, the last time they won a Stanley Cup. Nah, maybe not.
Yes we got one point. It should've been two. If our power play was worth a damn, we would've scored 4 or 5 goals.
And why did Ville Niemenen sit for a game against his old team? I don't think Colton Orr even played in the third period. The Rucchin-Moore-Hollweg line will not work.
Fedor Tyutin had a lousy night. He could be a good young player, but he'd better get a clue on how to run the power play. And he has no idea how to play defense either.
The Rangers have somehow gotten away with a good first third of the season. I don't know how. But a major move must be made soon. Because there is nowhere near enough offense on this team to keep this team at the top of the Atlantic Division, let alone to make a playoff run.
A very aggravating night, to say the least.
I attended the game last night at the United Center. I even left work early so I could get there right when the doors opened at 6 p.m. And I did. I had several Rangers fans sitting around me as well. There may have been a few hundred of us in the arena. And all the ends of the stadium were empty. The areas behind the goalies were just a sea of red. Either that or all the people were dressed like chairs.
The first period was totally uneventful. No shots for the first eight minutes by either team. The Rangers had two power plays, didn't score. But they had no pressure at all. Their only close chance came when Steve Rucchin hit the post. Actually the Rangers hit 3 posts during the game. The off the post shot is as much a staple of the Ranger offense and the fumbled snap is of the New York Jet offense.
Now I expected ex-Blackhawk Michael Nylander to do something big in this game. And he did. Pressuring Jim Vandermeer in the Ranger offensive zone, the puck came loose and Petr Prucha scored. 1-0 Rangers midway through the second period.
The bliss lasts for..... eighteen seconds. Before you were done cheering, before the Hawk announcer finished the goal summary over the PA, the Hawks get the puck into the Ranger zone. Nobody seems to see Jaroslav Spacek all alone in the slot. Matthew Barnaby, of all people, passes to him. He shoots, he scores, he ties the game. Somehow, I wasn't surprised. I really wasn't.
Now onto my biggest gripe. I have never seen a power play so inept. I can't imagine it was this bad for the last seven years. Even when they got a 4 minute power play late in the second, I knew they weren't going to score. I said out loud "OK, here comes four minutes of scoreless hockey." That's what happened. Time after time, the Rangers would get into the Hawk zone, pass around the blue line twice, then miss a pass, and the defense would clear the zone. No Ranger dared stand in front of the net and create a little traffic in front of Nikolai Khabibulin. It was like watching the New York Jet offense get the football at the other team's 40 yard line, run 3 plays (with 2 being runs up the middle), and try to kick a field goal. A passive, soft conservative offense that does not work.
But what drove me nuts was the third period. The Rangers have played the third period well all year long. They come out and run Chicago all over the ice. The Hawks never sustained any offensive pressure for more than 30 seconds at a time. The Rangers had breakaways, one-timers, shots from the slot, and nothing went in! Tom Poti stopped point blank. Ryan Hollweg and Martin Rucinsky fail on breakaways. Dominic Moore has Khabibulin flat on his stomach and a wide open net. All he had to do was lift the damn puck six inches! But no. The puck goes right off his stick. The game goes to overtime.
I should also note that the Hawks always had 2 guys in front of their own net. It's as if they were playing not to lose. They were seemingly waiting for the Rangers to screw up and take advantage. Speaking of which...
Martin Rucinsky takes one of the stupidest penalties I have ever seen. 45 seconds into overtime, he sticks his stick up a Hawk's nose. I mean, even Luke Petigout of the Giants was probably watching it and going, "What the hell is he thinking?" A four minute penalty and I got ready to leave. I knew it was over. Not even one minute later, they score. Game over. With my seat two steps from an exit I just got out of there as fast as I could. For any cheering Hawk fan, I reminded them which team was in first place. I should've started a 1961 chant, the last time they won a Stanley Cup. Nah, maybe not.
Yes we got one point. It should've been two. If our power play was worth a damn, we would've scored 4 or 5 goals.
And why did Ville Niemenen sit for a game against his old team? I don't think Colton Orr even played in the third period. The Rucchin-Moore-Hollweg line will not work.
Fedor Tyutin had a lousy night. He could be a good young player, but he'd better get a clue on how to run the power play. And he has no idea how to play defense either.
The Rangers have somehow gotten away with a good first third of the season. I don't know how. But a major move must be made soon. Because there is nowhere near enough offense on this team to keep this team at the top of the Atlantic Division, let alone to make a playoff run.
A very aggravating night, to say the least.
Monday, December 05, 2005
Another shot at this one.
I spent 20 minutes typing this last night before the stupid computer decides to freeze on me. So let's try this again.
One of the spaciest and quirkiest girls I knew in high school is now married and a financial advisor in Texas. Man, 6 years ago, I wouldn't have trusted her with 50 cents. And I don't think I could trust a financial advisor who is starting to pick up a Texas accent. "Well, see the keeey ee-is, ya got tuh diversi-fie wi' ya money. What wee-yull do, we'll take hafe ya' money, put it in a biiig may-naise jar, bury it out in yer backyard. Udduh hafe, wee-yull take down to the dawg track, bet on the one that does his bid-niss right 'fore the race starts."
I didn't watch the Giants game yesterday. Why? Because I played volleyball. Why? Because I'm an idiot. We lost 6 games, including 3 to the team played with for 2 years, and the only team we're better than in the standings. Oh the pain! Basically, we have 4 guys including me. All three are taller than me and I would describe 2 as somewhat athletic. When they go up to spike the ball, I don't think they understand that they can actually hit the ball straight down to the ground. I'm seeing these little dinky popups all day long. It was making me nuts! I seriosly don't think we recorded one kill that I would consider legitimate. And the playoffs are looming next week. Oh joy.
My high school basketball teams are on the road to last place. The girls are 2-5 and the guys are 0-4. Two losses at home this weekend in the hallowed Warrior Dome. Can we just forfeit the seasons and move straight to soccer?
At least Gordon College is doing well. The guys are 4-0 with an upcoming showdown at those evil Endicott Gulls. The women lost to a good Salve team on Saturday, but still look pretty good. But here's what amazes me. The Gordon women's roster has 8 players! Eight players! At my job, I see high school girls teams with 16 players. We can't even do a 5-on-5 scrimmage. That is unbelievable. Can we get Sarah DeLuca off the coach's position and reinstate her for one more year? But I think Coach Cavallaro knows what she's doing. She has a way of getting the most out of her players.
That was the first time I was happy to see the Just End The Season lose to New England. We have nothing to hope for except Reggie Bush in the draft. Curtis Martin rund for 29 yards on 16 carries. And at the end of the first half, 3rd and 5, Jets on the 15 or so yard line on NE. 1 minute left, trailing 3-0. A run with Curtis up the middle. Herman, Heimerdinger, whoever calls the plays, come on. This is not an offense that goes up and down the field at will. If you get that deep late in the first half, you have to try something to keep the ball and go for a big play when you still have a minute to go in a division game on the road! That's not a time to be conservative.
And Tom Brady is still nothing more than an overglorified prick. Put him on the Jets, they still go 4-12.
OK, let's change the mood.
Two and a half days until Rangers-Blackhawks!
Onto the Mets. We now have Paul LoDuca to catch. Now he is a good player and from Brooklyn. We traded Gaby Hernandez, a 21 year old pitcher who I wanted to keep more than Petit! He threw a no-hitter last year and is on his way up. He and Petit will probably be stars for the Marlins in about 2 years. Hey, Mr. Full Autonomy, do we have a minor league system anymore? Do we have any pitching prospects left? Because in case you haven't noticed, we have 3 starters all over 34 and they will need to be replaced soon. And we're probably about to sign Mark Grudzielanek to play second base, which I like well enough. Now get Matsui out (God willing, a trade for a decent prospect) and please DONT TRADE FOR MANNY RAMIREZ.
The Mets are a win-now team. They have 2 years probably, to win the World Series. I'm nervous about throwing so many chips into the center of the table when this is a hand we could easily lose.
If someone could explain to me how cigarettes are appealing, I'd like to know.
Rocky 6 is going to happen. I just don't know, 16 years after the last one, what storyline could be appealing. The only thing I know is Rocky is widowed and gets back into the ring again. Uh, yeah. If I was Stallone, I would not go back to Rocky unless I had a great storyline that could end the series on a good note. Or was flat broke.
Thank you, Trace Adkins, for releasing a country song about butts. Damn, that's a catchy song.
I can't remember much more of what I wrote. So I'll go now.
One of the spaciest and quirkiest girls I knew in high school is now married and a financial advisor in Texas. Man, 6 years ago, I wouldn't have trusted her with 50 cents. And I don't think I could trust a financial advisor who is starting to pick up a Texas accent. "Well, see the keeey ee-is, ya got tuh diversi-fie wi' ya money. What wee-yull do, we'll take hafe ya' money, put it in a biiig may-naise jar, bury it out in yer backyard. Udduh hafe, wee-yull take down to the dawg track, bet on the one that does his bid-niss right 'fore the race starts."
I didn't watch the Giants game yesterday. Why? Because I played volleyball. Why? Because I'm an idiot. We lost 6 games, including 3 to the team played with for 2 years, and the only team we're better than in the standings. Oh the pain! Basically, we have 4 guys including me. All three are taller than me and I would describe 2 as somewhat athletic. When they go up to spike the ball, I don't think they understand that they can actually hit the ball straight down to the ground. I'm seeing these little dinky popups all day long. It was making me nuts! I seriosly don't think we recorded one kill that I would consider legitimate. And the playoffs are looming next week. Oh joy.
My high school basketball teams are on the road to last place. The girls are 2-5 and the guys are 0-4. Two losses at home this weekend in the hallowed Warrior Dome. Can we just forfeit the seasons and move straight to soccer?
At least Gordon College is doing well. The guys are 4-0 with an upcoming showdown at those evil Endicott Gulls. The women lost to a good Salve team on Saturday, but still look pretty good. But here's what amazes me. The Gordon women's roster has 8 players! Eight players! At my job, I see high school girls teams with 16 players. We can't even do a 5-on-5 scrimmage. That is unbelievable. Can we get Sarah DeLuca off the coach's position and reinstate her for one more year? But I think Coach Cavallaro knows what she's doing. She has a way of getting the most out of her players.
That was the first time I was happy to see the Just End The Season lose to New England. We have nothing to hope for except Reggie Bush in the draft. Curtis Martin rund for 29 yards on 16 carries. And at the end of the first half, 3rd and 5, Jets on the 15 or so yard line on NE. 1 minute left, trailing 3-0. A run with Curtis up the middle. Herman, Heimerdinger, whoever calls the plays, come on. This is not an offense that goes up and down the field at will. If you get that deep late in the first half, you have to try something to keep the ball and go for a big play when you still have a minute to go in a division game on the road! That's not a time to be conservative.
And Tom Brady is still nothing more than an overglorified prick. Put him on the Jets, they still go 4-12.
OK, let's change the mood.
Two and a half days until Rangers-Blackhawks!
Onto the Mets. We now have Paul LoDuca to catch. Now he is a good player and from Brooklyn. We traded Gaby Hernandez, a 21 year old pitcher who I wanted to keep more than Petit! He threw a no-hitter last year and is on his way up. He and Petit will probably be stars for the Marlins in about 2 years. Hey, Mr. Full Autonomy, do we have a minor league system anymore? Do we have any pitching prospects left? Because in case you haven't noticed, we have 3 starters all over 34 and they will need to be replaced soon. And we're probably about to sign Mark Grudzielanek to play second base, which I like well enough. Now get Matsui out (God willing, a trade for a decent prospect) and please DONT TRADE FOR MANNY RAMIREZ.
The Mets are a win-now team. They have 2 years probably, to win the World Series. I'm nervous about throwing so many chips into the center of the table when this is a hand we could easily lose.
If someone could explain to me how cigarettes are appealing, I'd like to know.
Rocky 6 is going to happen. I just don't know, 16 years after the last one, what storyline could be appealing. The only thing I know is Rocky is widowed and gets back into the ring again. Uh, yeah. If I was Stallone, I would not go back to Rocky unless I had a great storyline that could end the series on a good note. Or was flat broke.
Thank you, Trace Adkins, for releasing a country song about butts. Damn, that's a catchy song.
I can't remember much more of what I wrote. So I'll go now.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
It is 10:47 and 38 seconds...
on a Thursday morning from the people's cubicle in the HM office in St Charles. That's right, my cubicle here at Houghton Mifflin. The job is going pretty well. Basically I take data from spreadsheets and enter it into the computer so colleges can get new editions of their textbooks whenever the year comes for a new rollover. It's very repetitive, but it sure beats sitting at home.
And some people wonder whether it's better to stand for 8 hours a day at work or sit for 8 hours a day at work. Listen, they both blow. It depends what you're used to, I guess. But man, I do this for 8 hours, then go to the paper and sit for 4 more. I have to make some time to get back into the gym.
Much to my amazement, I got invited to the HM Winter Gathering in 2 weeks. Now that's really just a corporate name for Christmas party. But it's cool to be invited after less than 2 weeks here.
I saw Jerry Lewis on Larry King last night. He was talking about his new book about Dean Martin. It was very entertaining and he seemed to be in very good health. He said he lost about 80 pounds and he had his usual energy level. But I can't see Jerry without thinking of Chris Rock's bit about his telethon. Since I've designed this space for my millions and millions of readers (OK, more like dozens and dozens) and am sensitive to them, I won't quote it. It is downright hysterical though.
HOW BOUT THEM KNICKERBOCKERS!!! Rode the Bulls all over Madison Square Garden and came back in the 4th quarter. Jamal Crawford played his best game as a Knick showing he can play a complete game (that means defense) when he wants to. Eddy Curry didn't play and in this case that may have been a good thing. No doubt the Bulls would have been waiting the chance to hammer him once he got the basketball in the low post (that's near the basket). Nate Robinson (who I like a lot, since he's my height) made an incredible pass to second year small forward Trevor Ariza who slammed the ball home to tie the game at 82-82 and drew the foul. It was the first time the Knicks hadn't been losing since 0-0. Quentin Richardson was benched and he certainly wasn't needed either. The Knicks got Robinson and Richardson in exchange for Kurt Thomas. The more I think about it just being Thomas for Robinson, the better it sounds.
Channing Frye scores 20 points again, and boy does he look good. Mo Taylor, and to a lesser extent, Malik Rose, are just stealing playing time from Frye and their other rookie forward David Lee. Seriously, Jerome James, Maurice Taylor, and Penny Hardaway are meaningless to this team, barring injuries. Like The Who sang, the kids are alright.
Six days till I get to watch the Rangers smoke the Blackhawks in the UC.
Here's my idea for the Mets at catcher. Forget acquiring Hernandez or Molina, though I'd rather have Hernandez. Sign a lefty like Paul Bako, who can platoon with Castro, will come cheap, plays good defense, and save the money to either sign another reliever or, even better, save the money for next year. The starting rotation is aging. Next year's free agent crop will be better and Glavine will be gone. So save the money for next year when Zito or someone like that becomes a free agent.
The latest rumor is Kris Benson to Baltimore for Armando Benitez-clone Jorge Julio. I don't know. I really don't know if Julio has the guts to pitch in big spots. Trading Benson's contract would be good. He's a 3-starter, good, but inconsistent. This is from the NY Post, regarding Julio.
“His out pitch is a four-seam fastball that he fires in the 96-98 mph range. He also throws a slider. Julio gets himself in trouble when he tries to overthrow. As a result, he loses his release point and his control." Can you say, "Welcome back Armando!"
If the starting rotation is Pedro, Glavine, Trachsel, Zambrano, and Seo, I can deal with that. Except who's our insurance policy when one gets hurt? Matt Ginter is a free agent again...
And the Giants are supposed to revisit a Kaz Matsui for Edgardo Alfonzo swap. If I'm Omar Minaya, I do that now. If I have to eat 2 million or so of Matsui's 8 million dollar contact this year, I would do that. Willie Randolph doesn't want Matsui. Fonzie would be a very good 6 or 7 hitter. More importantly, he bleeds blue and orange and would be a good plug in until Anderson Hernandez is ready to play in the majors, assuming he ever is. And besides, Tony Graffanino is about to sign with Kansas City.
Back to work I go... Later peeps.
And some people wonder whether it's better to stand for 8 hours a day at work or sit for 8 hours a day at work. Listen, they both blow. It depends what you're used to, I guess. But man, I do this for 8 hours, then go to the paper and sit for 4 more. I have to make some time to get back into the gym.
Much to my amazement, I got invited to the HM Winter Gathering in 2 weeks. Now that's really just a corporate name for Christmas party. But it's cool to be invited after less than 2 weeks here.
I saw Jerry Lewis on Larry King last night. He was talking about his new book about Dean Martin. It was very entertaining and he seemed to be in very good health. He said he lost about 80 pounds and he had his usual energy level. But I can't see Jerry without thinking of Chris Rock's bit about his telethon. Since I've designed this space for my millions and millions of readers (OK, more like dozens and dozens) and am sensitive to them, I won't quote it. It is downright hysterical though.
HOW BOUT THEM KNICKERBOCKERS!!! Rode the Bulls all over Madison Square Garden and came back in the 4th quarter. Jamal Crawford played his best game as a Knick showing he can play a complete game (that means defense) when he wants to. Eddy Curry didn't play and in this case that may have been a good thing. No doubt the Bulls would have been waiting the chance to hammer him once he got the basketball in the low post (that's near the basket). Nate Robinson (who I like a lot, since he's my height) made an incredible pass to second year small forward Trevor Ariza who slammed the ball home to tie the game at 82-82 and drew the foul. It was the first time the Knicks hadn't been losing since 0-0. Quentin Richardson was benched and he certainly wasn't needed either. The Knicks got Robinson and Richardson in exchange for Kurt Thomas. The more I think about it just being Thomas for Robinson, the better it sounds.
Channing Frye scores 20 points again, and boy does he look good. Mo Taylor, and to a lesser extent, Malik Rose, are just stealing playing time from Frye and their other rookie forward David Lee. Seriously, Jerome James, Maurice Taylor, and Penny Hardaway are meaningless to this team, barring injuries. Like The Who sang, the kids are alright.
Six days till I get to watch the Rangers smoke the Blackhawks in the UC.
Here's my idea for the Mets at catcher. Forget acquiring Hernandez or Molina, though I'd rather have Hernandez. Sign a lefty like Paul Bako, who can platoon with Castro, will come cheap, plays good defense, and save the money to either sign another reliever or, even better, save the money for next year. The starting rotation is aging. Next year's free agent crop will be better and Glavine will be gone. So save the money for next year when Zito or someone like that becomes a free agent.
The latest rumor is Kris Benson to Baltimore for Armando Benitez-clone Jorge Julio. I don't know. I really don't know if Julio has the guts to pitch in big spots. Trading Benson's contract would be good. He's a 3-starter, good, but inconsistent. This is from the NY Post, regarding Julio.
“His out pitch is a four-seam fastball that he fires in the 96-98 mph range. He also throws a slider. Julio gets himself in trouble when he tries to overthrow. As a result, he loses his release point and his control." Can you say, "Welcome back Armando!"
If the starting rotation is Pedro, Glavine, Trachsel, Zambrano, and Seo, I can deal with that. Except who's our insurance policy when one gets hurt? Matt Ginter is a free agent again...
And the Giants are supposed to revisit a Kaz Matsui for Edgardo Alfonzo swap. If I'm Omar Minaya, I do that now. If I have to eat 2 million or so of Matsui's 8 million dollar contact this year, I would do that. Willie Randolph doesn't want Matsui. Fonzie would be a very good 6 or 7 hitter. More importantly, he bleeds blue and orange and would be a good plug in until Anderson Hernandez is ready to play in the majors, assuming he ever is. And besides, Tony Graffanino is about to sign with Kansas City.
Back to work I go... Later peeps.
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