A Portland, Oregon man is suing Michael Jordan and Nike founder Phil Knight for a combined $832 million. Allen Heckard filed suit, contending he has been mistaken for Jordan nearly every day for 15 years and he's tired of it.
"I'm constantly being accused of looking like Michael, and it makes it very uncomfortable for me," Heckard said.
Heckard, an airport shuttle driver and auto detailer with a prison record for drug possession, filed a lawsuit in Washington County Circuit Court last week asking for $416 million from the former basketball star and another $416 million from Nike founder Phil Knight because he promoted Jordan.
Heckard apparently is suing Jordan for defamation and permanent injury, emotional pain and suffering. He is suing Knight for defamation and permanent injury for promoting Jordan and helping make him one of the world's most famous athletes.
Heckard, who stands slightly taller than 6 feet, says many people miss the fact that he is roughly six inches shorter than Jordan. But Heckard bears a physical resemblance to Jordan because he has a shaved head, an earring in his left ear, and is in good physical shape — from playing basketball.By the way, a TV station apparently caught Heckard wearing blue Air Jordan tennis shoes.
"Even when I go to the gym, I'm being accused of playing ball like him (Jordan)," Heckard said.
Wouldn't most people consider that a compliment?
"Yes, don't get me wrong it's definitely a positive thing, because Michael, like I say is one of the best ball players that I've known to play the game. But then again, that's Michael and I'm me. So I want to be recognized as me just like Michael's being recognized as Michael."
How he decided to sue for $416 million each?
"Well, you figure with my age and you multiply that times seven and, ah, then I turn around and, ah, I figure that's what it all boils down to."
OK, let me try to do this. He's 52 years old. 52 times seven is 364. So that's for the pain and suffering. 364 million dollars and 728 million total. How appropriate he decided he deserved 1 million dollars for each day of his life. Were people telling him he looked like Jordan when he was 5 years old in 1959? Was he going through pain and suffering then? And how is any of this Nike's fault. Just because he wears Air Jordan sneakers when he plays basketball at the YMCA? In Portland? A town where less than 2 percent of the population is black?
Anyway, he is also demanding $52 million from each of the two defendants for "defamation and permanent injury." That's 104 million, 832 million dollars total.
And if he's going to go after Nike, why stop there? Go after Gatorade, Wheaties, Ball Park franks, and Hanes underwear! Let's see how big a fool he can make out of himself.
And if this dude makes even one dollar, our legal system needs to be overhauled.
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