Getting numb and getting ready to vomit

For the first time since May 17, the New York Mets do not reside in first place of the National League East. This team, slated to be the best in the National League led the division by 7 games with 17 to play. No team in HISTORY has ever blown that big a lead. They have now lost four in row and 10 of 14 and are now tied with Philadelphia, with three games left in this regular season. And to be blunt, three games left in the season.

This was the game to win. Pedro Martinez pitching against those pricks from St. Louis, who stole our title last year. And they're throwing Joel Piniero, whose ERA coming in was about 5. Pedro did what he could: 7 IP, 3 runs, 2 earned, 1 walk, 8 strikeouts. He did his job. But the offense failed to show up. A team that has consistently scored 7-8 runs per game could only manage three hits against Piniero. Inexcusable.

Oh and thanks to John Smoltz for spitting the bed against Philly. The one time I root for him, he stunk tonight. Stunk, like a Staten Island landfill.

I had been getting angry at every loss for the last month. Since yesterday, though my feelings have changed. I now expect them to lose. I expect the bullpen to blow leads. It's like watching the Knicks. I now wait for bad things to happen. And instead of getting angry, I am just feeling helpless, wanting this misery to just stop.

I think the Mets quit tonight, with this joke of a performance, not just in this game, but really, the way they've played since June. They've been reading their press clippings about how good they are and how much better they are than any other team in the National League. They turn their drive on and off. They think they can just show up once in a while and that will be enough to win. Well, it's not enough anymore.

And the fans? They have clearly lost faith in this team just as the players have lost faith in themselves. I all but have. I know they can mathematically win the division. But how can I have any hope this team will win the pennant?

I am embarrassed to be a Mets fan tonight and probably will be. All I have left is to root against the Cubs.