So I'm sitting here and my 33rd birthday is upon us. Only eight hours to be exact. I thought about recapping some of the best and worst moments of the last 12 months, but isn't that why I've been writing all along? So instead, I'm just going to jot about how I'm feeling at this particular point after the many ups and downs of the last 12 months and what I want going forward.
I've been blessed to have learned a lot about human interaction lately. I think one of the best indicators of a whether a friendship or relationship will last is how both parties handle conflict. Any worthwhile relationship is just going to have peaks and valleys. And my goodness, I have seen both sides reach an extreme measure. People who handle problems well by addressing somebody with respect in a one-on-one manner, and with sincerity have my repsect. On the other hand, people who just twist the truth to suit their own agenda and feel the need to vent to other people and through social media when they have the ability to just address the person...well, they're probably not going to be in a lot of relationships that will last very long. And then they wonder why they're so alone.
The kind of people I want in my life are people I can feel comfortable talking about anything with, and I hope they can recognize my positives, and bear with my negatives. At the same time, I want to encourage them when they need it and learn how to make them be comfortable with me. I am learning more and more who those people are and those are the ones I want to stay in community with.
Professionally, I feel I have so much to offer. I have my shortcomings, but I know I have God-given talents. It is incredibly frustrating to not have an outlet to use those talents. I've been sitting at home for three months now, doing everything in my power to keep from going insane. Between bills, tuition, and now car payments, money is a scary thing. It's easy to see why it ruins so many people.
It is a good feeling to be killing it in my classes. Seven classes done, seven A's. Halfway to my Master's degree. I have a one-week break until the next one, which I think is financial analysis. Sounds like a thrilling conversation topic at dinner.
I'm feeling a sense of my own mortality lately. For one thing, my mom just turned 60. She's not showing it, but damn, that's a scary thought. I have been blessed to have had excellent health throughout my life. The two worst injuries I've ever had were a torn knee tendon (not a ligament) and a separated shoulder. But over the last three months, I've developed sunburn, a skin rash that covered half my body, and sustained brutal leg injuries. I've worked out for a while, but this year, I'm taking better care of myself. I'm doing DDP Yoga and I definitely notice how much better I feel when I do it as opposed to the days I don't. And although I love to splurge in good food, I am making a conscious effort to eat more vegetables. It takes more preparation and they don't last long, but there is no question that I feel better when I eat them.
In the next few days, I will knock two more states of my bucket list: Oregon and Washington. I believe that just leaves seven or eight that I have not been to yet. New Mexico has to be one of the next ones to cross off the list. Not to mention Hawaii...
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Getting to me-the issue of pride
"Believers ought to take pride in their humble circumstances."That statement comes from the book of James, in the first chapter. I was reading it a couple of days ago and I have to say it shook my pretty hard. I stopped reading my Bible right there and I just took a few minute to meditate on it.
I feel right now God is shaking me up in a lot of different ways because he is trying to guide me to a new path. The shaking has come through job rejections. It has come through physical ailments, which up until May, have rarely been a problem for me. Leg injuries, skin issues, and burns. Now I truly wonder if my body can ever be in the condition that it was. Perhaps I have place too much attention on my body and not quite enough on my heart. The shaking has come through changes in relationships, seeing some begin and some go on the backburner. And I am learning a lot about how to relate and how not to relate to people, especially in the midst of conflict. Some people handle it far more maturely than others and it is important that I try to consider their perspective, even if it doesn't make any sense! But back to the issue at hand. I am trying to keep my eyes open to see what path I am headed on. I wonder now if there is something I am holding onto that I need to let go of or if I need to start doing something new that I never had been doing.
And I'm amazed that the word "pride" is used in that verse. It seems like any time pride is used in a spiritual circle, it is referred to as perhaps the most seductive of all sins. It seems many men I know would list pride or lust as the sin that they have the most trouble with. Certainly, we need to stand up for ourselves and not become doormats. But at what point does pride go too far? The best answer I have is that if I have enough pride to where I am the most important person in my life and I am consumed with myself, then it is pushing the boundaries that Christ defines. I need to be aware of myself, I need to take care of myself and I need to love myself. Oh, and be content. However, if I'm working on myself and ignoring the needs of others, then I need to re-examine myself, figure out what needs to change, and then go about changing it. Love God, love people. There's no room for pride in those two commandments.
Excessive pride goes against what Jesus says God is looking for in his followers. He says in Matthew 5, "Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Over the last three months, my spirit has been tested as much as any time in my life. Many people offer me a message of hope and I appreciate that. I believe they are sincere. But I have learned that there simply are no guarantees in this life. I don't know when I'll work again and I don't know if I'll ever have a good job again. I just hope right now that when I do work again, it will be something that I can be proud to do.
A day break
I woke up this past Saturday around 6 in the morning. After downing
a handful of green grapes and drinking a liter of water, I was out the
door for my two-hour drive to Milwaukee. The drive was pretty smooth all the
way up, although it is interesting that I every time I make the drive, there
are 4 lanes open on 94 in Illinois. Once I cross the Wisconsin border, it goes
down to two lanes and there are bulldozers just sitting in a construction
zone. How many years can it take to add a lane to a highway. Then again, when
you only have good weather for three months a year...
My first stop was McKinley Park, which is right on Lake Michigan. I walked five miles down the coast to the Art Museum and back. I crossed over Lincoln Memorial Highway (basically Milwaukee's Lake Shore Drive) on the Brady Street Bridge and walked down Brady Street. I like this section of downtown Milwaukee because it is filled with trendy shops, local cafes, and cool taverns. Each place just seems to have its own unique personality and I enjoy visiting neighborhoods like that. Little did I know there was a street festival going on that day. The signs advertised food, four stages of music, as well as a drag show and pro wrestling. Now I have no problem admitting that I enjoy pro wrestling, but at a street fair? Pass.
I headed straight to Glorioso's Italian Deli, which has been featured on the Travel Channel as one of the 101 best places in America to chow down. I went with the Chicago combo sandwich: Italian sausage, marinara, Italian beef, and giardineira (I opted for mild, sorry). the sandwich isn't appropriately named for one simple reason: I have never seen a sandwich like this anywhere in the Windy City. The Italian roll was soft and seeded. There was just enough marinara to flavor the sandwich, yet not enough to overpower it. The beef was juicy and the giardiniera was well balanced and tasted very fresh. For six bucks! This sandwich is a steal. the cannoli was fine, but the shell fell apart a little faster than it normally should. A good cannoli shell crunches and this one didn't crunch the way I like. But I was impressed with their selection of Italian kitchen items from Genova tuna to pizza dough. I bought home a loaf of Italian bread and put on some marinara, parmesan, and fresh basil for an awesome snack. The staff was happy to help and treated me well despite me wearing my Mets gear too! I will definitely return on my next visit.
I walked back down Brady and over the bridge to my car and I headed a few minutes south to the Fifth Ward to buy a tour ticket for the Milwaukee Brewing Company. Now it was only 12 noon at this point. For the third time that day, I ran into the same two Mets fans. Two college-aged guys. I first saw them on my walk by the museum, then I saw them on Brady St, and now here they were again. We got tickets for the 2 pm tour. Until then, I drove on Water St across the Milwaukee River to the Historic Third Ward, which is well known for its businesses, condos, specialty shops, and is also the spot for the Summerfest. All I wanted was a parking spot for 90 minutes. I didn't want to pay five bucks to enter a garage; I just wanted a spot on the street. It took about 15 minutes, but I did get a spot. The cool part was even though there was a two-hour time limit, I didn’t have to pay the meter. So first, I walked through the Milwaukee Public Market, which is similar to Quincy Market in Boston with a lot of little food stands. I wasn;t going to get anything, but I did give in at a bakery. I got a large Wisconsin cookie, which is a little larger than a hockey puck. It had oatmeal, raisins, walnuts, and maple syrup. I decided to save it up. Guess I was waiting for some milk.
I walked north on Water St and took pictures of the Chase Tower, the Pabst Theater, and the Fonz statue on the riverwalk. I hadn’t been outside an extensive amount, but I felt the skin of the back of my neck feeling really tender. Turns out I was already burned up. I knew I’d be spraying on some Solarcaine as soon as I got home. I had a little extra time to kill before the tour began so I stopped in the Milwaukee Ale House. I didn’t even realize that I had parked right in front of a bar that I had visited three or four times over the years. I stopped in and had a Marco-rona which is a locally made Mexican draft lager. The guy dropped a couple of lime wheels in it. For five bucks, it was a really good refreshing beer. I think I had four glasses of water; I was just so thirsty after walking seven or eight miles by that point.
I drove back to the Milwaukee Brewing Company for the tour. For ten bucks, I got a very nice pint tasting glass, a ticket for a high-alcohol beer, one full glass of any draft I wanted, plus all the half glasses I wanted up until 3:30 pm. Oh and I also got a token for a free beer at one of 15 pubs. I knew I would have to do most of my drinking since I still had a ten minute drive to Miller Park afterwards.
For the fourth time, I ran into Brett and Chris, the Mets fans, and we got our glasses and our first pints. I chose the Louie’s Demise, which is their flagship beer. The medium bodied amber ale was smooth, malty, and not too hoppy. I really enjoyed this and I would happily drink it again. I also had a half pint of their summer ale, which didn’t have a fruity flavor like a lot of summer beers do. It was just a light-tasting brew. Then I had the Booyah, which is their farmhouse ale. It had a very earthy taste, with hints of rye and oats. It was a good one, but not my favorite. Finally, for my high-alcohol beer, I chose the O-gii, which is a wheat beer with 9% ABV. Usually, with a beer so strong, I’d expect a stout or an IPA. But this was amazingly drinkable, which may be a scary combination! It’s made with chamomile tea with hints of orange and ginger. This is scary good. Our tour guide was Tim and he was really zany and entertaining. At one point, he tried doing a New Jersey accent, but it came out sounding more like Brooklyn. Of course, I buried my head in my hands when he started. But it was fun nonetheless. By the way, I did not use my token for the extra beer. It actually looks like a pretty cool poker chip, so I think I’ll keep it as a souvenir.
After chilling out for a little while, I drove over to Miller Park. I wanted to be there right at 4:30 when the gates opened. I stormed over to the right field corner where I cheered for Mets rookie phenom pitcher, Jacob deGrom. We gave each other a fist pump and I have to say that was pretty awesome! For my second meal of the day, I went to the smoked meats station where carvers stood behind carving boards with brisket, turkey, beer can chicken, and pork. I opted for the Italian roasted pork sandwich with garlic aioli, mayo-free cole slaw, and shaved parmesan. It came with some macaroni salad and a pickle spear. For $10.50, that was a solid deal. I sat in Section 422, right behind home plate, and in the first row. For $22, that was an awesome seat. The game was great for the first half. The Mets took a 2-0 lead, capped by a Curtis Granderson home run in the top of the fifth inning. Unfortunately, some poor Mets defense in the bottom half of the fifth led to three Milwaukee runs an early exit for pitcher Jon Niese. The Mets lost 5-2. The only other things to mention about that are the chorizo edged out the Italian in the sausage race, some girl puked in the aisle near my seat, and my GPS got me lost going home. I needed to just got on 94 East and it had me getting on 43 North towards Green Bay. I might be taking that road soon, but if I do, it isn’t happening until September when the Jets go to Lambeau Field to play the Packers.
My first stop was McKinley Park, which is right on Lake Michigan. I walked five miles down the coast to the Art Museum and back. I crossed over Lincoln Memorial Highway (basically Milwaukee's Lake Shore Drive) on the Brady Street Bridge and walked down Brady Street. I like this section of downtown Milwaukee because it is filled with trendy shops, local cafes, and cool taverns. Each place just seems to have its own unique personality and I enjoy visiting neighborhoods like that. Little did I know there was a street festival going on that day. The signs advertised food, four stages of music, as well as a drag show and pro wrestling. Now I have no problem admitting that I enjoy pro wrestling, but at a street fair? Pass.
I headed straight to Glorioso's Italian Deli, which has been featured on the Travel Channel as one of the 101 best places in America to chow down. I went with the Chicago combo sandwich: Italian sausage, marinara, Italian beef, and giardineira (I opted for mild, sorry). the sandwich isn't appropriately named for one simple reason: I have never seen a sandwich like this anywhere in the Windy City. The Italian roll was soft and seeded. There was just enough marinara to flavor the sandwich, yet not enough to overpower it. The beef was juicy and the giardiniera was well balanced and tasted very fresh. For six bucks! This sandwich is a steal. the cannoli was fine, but the shell fell apart a little faster than it normally should. A good cannoli shell crunches and this one didn't crunch the way I like. But I was impressed with their selection of Italian kitchen items from Genova tuna to pizza dough. I bought home a loaf of Italian bread and put on some marinara, parmesan, and fresh basil for an awesome snack. The staff was happy to help and treated me well despite me wearing my Mets gear too! I will definitely return on my next visit.
I walked back down Brady and over the bridge to my car and I headed a few minutes south to the Fifth Ward to buy a tour ticket for the Milwaukee Brewing Company. Now it was only 12 noon at this point. For the third time that day, I ran into the same two Mets fans. Two college-aged guys. I first saw them on my walk by the museum, then I saw them on Brady St, and now here they were again. We got tickets for the 2 pm tour. Until then, I drove on Water St across the Milwaukee River to the Historic Third Ward, which is well known for its businesses, condos, specialty shops, and is also the spot for the Summerfest. All I wanted was a parking spot for 90 minutes. I didn't want to pay five bucks to enter a garage; I just wanted a spot on the street. It took about 15 minutes, but I did get a spot. The cool part was even though there was a two-hour time limit, I didn’t have to pay the meter. So first, I walked through the Milwaukee Public Market, which is similar to Quincy Market in Boston with a lot of little food stands. I wasn;t going to get anything, but I did give in at a bakery. I got a large Wisconsin cookie, which is a little larger than a hockey puck. It had oatmeal, raisins, walnuts, and maple syrup. I decided to save it up. Guess I was waiting for some milk.
I walked north on Water St and took pictures of the Chase Tower, the Pabst Theater, and the Fonz statue on the riverwalk. I hadn’t been outside an extensive amount, but I felt the skin of the back of my neck feeling really tender. Turns out I was already burned up. I knew I’d be spraying on some Solarcaine as soon as I got home. I had a little extra time to kill before the tour began so I stopped in the Milwaukee Ale House. I didn’t even realize that I had parked right in front of a bar that I had visited three or four times over the years. I stopped in and had a Marco-rona which is a locally made Mexican draft lager. The guy dropped a couple of lime wheels in it. For five bucks, it was a really good refreshing beer. I think I had four glasses of water; I was just so thirsty after walking seven or eight miles by that point.
I drove back to the Milwaukee Brewing Company for the tour. For ten bucks, I got a very nice pint tasting glass, a ticket for a high-alcohol beer, one full glass of any draft I wanted, plus all the half glasses I wanted up until 3:30 pm. Oh and I also got a token for a free beer at one of 15 pubs. I knew I would have to do most of my drinking since I still had a ten minute drive to Miller Park afterwards.
For the fourth time, I ran into Brett and Chris, the Mets fans, and we got our glasses and our first pints. I chose the Louie’s Demise, which is their flagship beer. The medium bodied amber ale was smooth, malty, and not too hoppy. I really enjoyed this and I would happily drink it again. I also had a half pint of their summer ale, which didn’t have a fruity flavor like a lot of summer beers do. It was just a light-tasting brew. Then I had the Booyah, which is their farmhouse ale. It had a very earthy taste, with hints of rye and oats. It was a good one, but not my favorite. Finally, for my high-alcohol beer, I chose the O-gii, which is a wheat beer with 9% ABV. Usually, with a beer so strong, I’d expect a stout or an IPA. But this was amazingly drinkable, which may be a scary combination! It’s made with chamomile tea with hints of orange and ginger. This is scary good. Our tour guide was Tim and he was really zany and entertaining. At one point, he tried doing a New Jersey accent, but it came out sounding more like Brooklyn. Of course, I buried my head in my hands when he started. But it was fun nonetheless. By the way, I did not use my token for the extra beer. It actually looks like a pretty cool poker chip, so I think I’ll keep it as a souvenir.
After chilling out for a little while, I drove over to Miller Park. I wanted to be there right at 4:30 when the gates opened. I stormed over to the right field corner where I cheered for Mets rookie phenom pitcher, Jacob deGrom. We gave each other a fist pump and I have to say that was pretty awesome! For my second meal of the day, I went to the smoked meats station where carvers stood behind carving boards with brisket, turkey, beer can chicken, and pork. I opted for the Italian roasted pork sandwich with garlic aioli, mayo-free cole slaw, and shaved parmesan. It came with some macaroni salad and a pickle spear. For $10.50, that was a solid deal. I sat in Section 422, right behind home plate, and in the first row. For $22, that was an awesome seat. The game was great for the first half. The Mets took a 2-0 lead, capped by a Curtis Granderson home run in the top of the fifth inning. Unfortunately, some poor Mets defense in the bottom half of the fifth led to three Milwaukee runs an early exit for pitcher Jon Niese. The Mets lost 5-2. The only other things to mention about that are the chorizo edged out the Italian in the sausage race, some girl puked in the aisle near my seat, and my GPS got me lost going home. I needed to just got on 94 East and it had me getting on 43 North towards Green Bay. I might be taking that road soon, but if I do, it isn’t happening until September when the Jets go to Lambeau Field to play the Packers.
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Things I'm noticing
1) The George Harrison tree was destroyed by beetles. Somewhere between funny and sad.
2) Why is it in every small group and meeting, there is always one person who doesn't know when to be quiet and let someone else speak?
3) One week to go in my 7th Master's class: action research and consulting. I've earned 818 out of 830 points. As long as I get a decent final project in, it looks like I'll keep up my 4.0 GPA. It's a good feeling. I wish I could have done high school trig online; I might have been decent!
4) It's strange how so many days take so long to go by, then I look back and it feels like a blur.
5) I'm not ready to say I've given up soda. But I could see myself sticking to one a week.
6) Went back to the driving range for the first time in over a year. I didn't get off to a good start, as I grounded 9 or 10 balls in a row. Once I went to my trusty 5-wood, I started whipping shots between 150 and 200 yards. I could even knock my driver 250 yards. But the iron gave me issues. Finally, I decided to turn my left foot in and open up my right foot, so I could get a wider, smoother backswing. It worked well and I hit some high arching iron shots afterwards.
7) As it sometimes happens when I play golf, I now have some nice blisters on my hands, probably from gripping the clubs too tightly. One big round one on the bottom of my middle finger and another on the outside of my lower right index finger. Time to bust out the Neosporin.
8) RIP James Garner. Just a shame some people only know him from "The Notebook"
9) One of these days, I really want to visit New Mexico. There's something mysterious and appealing about it that makes me want to go. Maybe it's the green chile.
10) Movies on Thursday night. Thinking it'll either be "Begin Again" or "Persecuted." Hoping it goes well.
2) Why is it in every small group and meeting, there is always one person who doesn't know when to be quiet and let someone else speak?
3) One week to go in my 7th Master's class: action research and consulting. I've earned 818 out of 830 points. As long as I get a decent final project in, it looks like I'll keep up my 4.0 GPA. It's a good feeling. I wish I could have done high school trig online; I might have been decent!
4) It's strange how so many days take so long to go by, then I look back and it feels like a blur.
5) I'm not ready to say I've given up soda. But I could see myself sticking to one a week.
6) Went back to the driving range for the first time in over a year. I didn't get off to a good start, as I grounded 9 or 10 balls in a row. Once I went to my trusty 5-wood, I started whipping shots between 150 and 200 yards. I could even knock my driver 250 yards. But the iron gave me issues. Finally, I decided to turn my left foot in and open up my right foot, so I could get a wider, smoother backswing. It worked well and I hit some high arching iron shots afterwards.
7) As it sometimes happens when I play golf, I now have some nice blisters on my hands, probably from gripping the clubs too tightly. One big round one on the bottom of my middle finger and another on the outside of my lower right index finger. Time to bust out the Neosporin.
8) RIP James Garner. Just a shame some people only know him from "The Notebook"
9) One of these days, I really want to visit New Mexico. There's something mysterious and appealing about it that makes me want to go. Maybe it's the green chile.
10) Movies on Thursday night. Thinking it'll either be "Begin Again" or "Persecuted." Hoping it goes well.
Sunday, July 20, 2014
Now what?
I really don't have much logic or thought; I just feel like I need to vent. I don't expect anyone who cares to be reading. I'm guessing it's strangers and the two or three people I know of who love to see me hurt. As in the Middle of (Springfield) Village...
1) Mom says I'm going bald. She apparently found a quarter size spot on the front of the top of my head. I have always been self-conscious about my looks and now I feel even more ashamed.
2) I have had a skin rash for over a week. My left forearm, the inside of my hips, my ankles, most of my legs, the sides of my stomach. Plus my left leg still has a lump from the injury I suffered in May. I have no idea what's happening to me. Why is my body falling apart?
3) The Mets' season is hooked up to the respirators. After a nice winning streak/tease leading into the All-Star break, they drop 2 of 3 to a Padres team that is awful! Unless they sweep Seattle, they are sellers and inconsequential in the NL playoff race. What else is new...
4) I organized a second annual bacon and beer tasting for the guys at Paddy Long's. Six of us showed up. I started with a three bacon and cheddar omelette. Excellent when there is more bacon than egg. We had our five bacons and five beers. Plus three orders of bacon grenades and some deep fried cheesecake. After church, this was my second religious experience of the day.
5) At least a walk around Lake Arlington on Friday night went well. A kiss is just a kiss...
Thursday, July 10, 2014
10 thoughts of the moment
1) I'm so over Naperville Ribfest. The admission was 15 bucks this year. The best entertainment they had was George Thorogood & the Destroyers, Foghat, and the former lead singer of Supertramp. And I had ribs from three different places. None were anywhere near as good as the ribs I had four days prior at Smoque.
2) Maggie seems to be adjusting better, even with mom gone. She's sleeping well and doesn't cry anymore, at least not when I'm around. She loves organic dog food, made out of buffalo. If that isn't a bougie dog...
3) Itasca, IL still has the best fireworks I've ever seen. Throw in 100 friends and it just makes you feel good about life.
4) I did go down to Soldier Field for the USA vs. Belgium World Cup soccer game. I stood on the field, surrounded by a couple thousand of teenagers. Dang to think I was one one of them! It actually was a fun experience, even though the good guys lost.
5) Had a good three-way chat with Alison and Carrie from my small group yesterday for about two hours. We're all job searching and that gave us a good chance to express ourselves and let off just a little steam. That's community right there.
6) Ten days till the next men's bacon and beer tasting at Paddy Long's downtown. Had five guys last year. This year, eight are already confirmed.
7) It seems like the last three days, my eating habits are healthy breakfast, healthy lunch, healthy snack, and then the worst dinner I can find. Salads, Strawberries, Naked juice, chicken/rice/broccoli followed by sausage pizza, burger salad and fresh cut fries at Lucky Monk, Italian beef at Portillo's, etc.
8) I think 5 years from now, people in Americaa will look at drinking a soda with as much disdain as smoking a cigarette.
9) I'm ready for some more 90 degree weather. This 75-80 would be much better in September and October.
10) Still doing what I can to save money/not be bored. Sometimes that feels like an impossible combination.
Song pick: "Heart Won't Tell a Lie" Los Lonely Boys
2) Maggie seems to be adjusting better, even with mom gone. She's sleeping well and doesn't cry anymore, at least not when I'm around. She loves organic dog food, made out of buffalo. If that isn't a bougie dog...
3) Itasca, IL still has the best fireworks I've ever seen. Throw in 100 friends and it just makes you feel good about life.
4) I did go down to Soldier Field for the USA vs. Belgium World Cup soccer game. I stood on the field, surrounded by a couple thousand of teenagers. Dang to think I was one one of them! It actually was a fun experience, even though the good guys lost.
5) Had a good three-way chat with Alison and Carrie from my small group yesterday for about two hours. We're all job searching and that gave us a good chance to express ourselves and let off just a little steam. That's community right there.
6) Ten days till the next men's bacon and beer tasting at Paddy Long's downtown. Had five guys last year. This year, eight are already confirmed.
7) It seems like the last three days, my eating habits are healthy breakfast, healthy lunch, healthy snack, and then the worst dinner I can find. Salads, Strawberries, Naked juice, chicken/rice/broccoli followed by sausage pizza, burger salad and fresh cut fries at Lucky Monk, Italian beef at Portillo's, etc.
8) I think 5 years from now, people in Americaa will look at drinking a soda with as much disdain as smoking a cigarette.
9) I'm ready for some more 90 degree weather. This 75-80 would be much better in September and October.
10) Still doing what I can to save money/not be bored. Sometimes that feels like an impossible combination.
Song pick: "Heart Won't Tell a Lie" Los Lonely Boys
Thursday, July 03, 2014
Not happening
I admit I hurt. I just hurt right now. I've done my best to not discuss my job loss here and the pain that I'm going through. I doubt people really give a rip about it. But as every day goes by, as every week goes by, and as the rejection e-mails pile up, the situation just feels worse and I feel more and more unproductive.
I'm up to ten weeks out of work and it feels like it has been a year since I have been working. I admit I still have feelings most days about what I would say if I saw my old boss, and especially his boss. But I snap myself out of that, because there is really no point to it. Maybe one good slug in their jaws, just for good measure. Then again, I can't remember the last time I threw a punch where the target wasn't a bag.
What is really getting to me is these companies who I interview with. The interview goes well, they say they'll be back in touch with me, and then I never hear from them again. I have no patience for deception. If they explicitly say they are going to contact me by the end of the week, then they should do exactly that. Even if it is a rejection, don't screw with me like that.
Mom is urging me to apply for jobs outside of Chicago. I really don't want to do it. I don't know if I could handle losing my job as being the reason I left Chicago. I don't want those pricks at my last job to mess with my life up any further than they've already tried to.
Anyway, I'm off to get my blood drawn. After that...homework. Let the good times roll...
I'm up to ten weeks out of work and it feels like it has been a year since I have been working. I admit I still have feelings most days about what I would say if I saw my old boss, and especially his boss. But I snap myself out of that, because there is really no point to it. Maybe one good slug in their jaws, just for good measure. Then again, I can't remember the last time I threw a punch where the target wasn't a bag.
What is really getting to me is these companies who I interview with. The interview goes well, they say they'll be back in touch with me, and then I never hear from them again. I have no patience for deception. If they explicitly say they are going to contact me by the end of the week, then they should do exactly that. Even if it is a rejection, don't screw with me like that.
Mom is urging me to apply for jobs outside of Chicago. I really don't want to do it. I don't know if I could handle losing my job as being the reason I left Chicago. I don't want those pricks at my last job to mess with my life up any further than they've already tried to.
Anyway, I'm off to get my blood drawn. After that...homework. Let the good times roll...
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