32 years down

So I'm sitting here and my 33rd birthday is upon us. Only eight hours to be exact. I thought about recapping some of the best and worst moments of the last 12 months, but isn't that why I've been writing all along? So instead, I'm just going to jot about how I'm feeling at this particular point after the many ups and downs of the last 12 months and what I want going forward.

I've been blessed to have learned a lot about human interaction lately. I think one of the best indicators of a whether a friendship or relationship will last is how both parties handle conflict. Any worthwhile relationship is just going to have peaks and valleys. And my goodness, I have seen both sides reach an extreme measure. People who handle problems well by addressing somebody with respect in a one-on-one manner, and with sincerity have my repsect. On the other hand, people who just twist the truth to suit their own agenda and feel the need to vent to other people and through social media when they have the ability to just address the person...well, they're probably not going to be in a lot of relationships that will last very long. And then they wonder why they're so alone.

The kind of people I want in my life are people I can feel comfortable talking about anything with, and I hope they can recognize my positives, and bear with my negatives. At the same time, I want to encourage them when they need it and learn how to make them be comfortable with me. I am learning more and more who those people are and those are the ones I want to stay in community with.

Professionally, I feel I have so much to offer. I have my shortcomings, but I know I have God-given talents. It is incredibly frustrating to not have an outlet to use those talents. I've been sitting at home for three months now, doing everything in my power to keep from going insane. Between bills, tuition, and now car payments, money is a scary thing. It's easy to see why it ruins so many people.

It is a good feeling to be killing it in my classes. Seven classes done, seven A's. Halfway to my Master's degree. I have a one-week break until the next one, which I think is financial analysis. Sounds like a thrilling conversation topic at dinner.

I'm feeling a sense of my own mortality lately. For one thing, my mom just turned 60. She's not showing it, but damn, that's a scary thought. I have been blessed to have had excellent health throughout my life. The two worst injuries I've ever had were a torn knee tendon (not a ligament) and a separated shoulder. But over the last three months, I've developed sunburn, a skin rash that covered half my body, and sustained brutal leg injuries. I've worked out for a while, but this year, I'm taking better care of myself. I'm doing DDP Yoga and I definitely notice how much better I feel when I do it as opposed to the days I don't. And although I love to splurge in good food, I am making a conscious effort to eat more vegetables. It takes more preparation and they don't last long, but there is no question that I feel better when I eat them.

In the next few days, I will knock two more states of my bucket list: Oregon and Washington. I believe that just leaves seven or eight that I have not been to yet. New Mexico has to be one of the next ones to cross off the list. Not to mention Hawaii...