Getting to me-the issue of pride

"Believers ought to take pride in their humble circumstances."

That statement comes from the book of James, in the first chapter. I was reading it a couple of days ago and I have to say it shook my pretty hard. I stopped reading my Bible right there and I just took a few minute to meditate on it.

I feel right now God is shaking me up in a lot of different ways because he is trying to guide me to a new path. The shaking has come through job rejections. It has come through physical ailments, which up until May, have rarely been a problem for me. Leg injuries, skin issues, and burns. Now I truly wonder if my body can ever be in the condition that it was. Perhaps I have place too much attention on my body and not quite enough on my heart. The shaking has come through changes in relationships, seeing some begin and some go on the backburner. And I am learning a lot about how to relate and how not to relate to people, especially in the midst of conflict. Some people handle it far more maturely than others and it is important that I try to consider their perspective, even if it doesn't make any sense! But back to the issue at hand. I am trying to keep my eyes open to see what path I am headed on. I wonder now if there is something I am holding onto that I need to let go of or if I need to start doing something new that I never had been doing.

And I'm amazed that the word "pride" is used in that verse. It seems like any time pride is used in a spiritual circle, it is referred to as perhaps the most seductive of all sins. It seems many men I know would list pride or lust as the sin that they have the most trouble with. Certainly, we need to stand up for ourselves and not become doormats. But at what point does pride go too far? The best answer I have is that if I have enough pride to where I am the most important person in my life and I am consumed with myself, then it is pushing the boundaries that Christ defines. I need to be aware of myself, I need to take care of myself and I need to love myself. Oh, and be content. However, if I'm working on myself and ignoring the needs of others, then I need to re-examine myself, figure out what needs to change, and then go about changing it. Love God, love people. There's no room for pride in those two commandments.

Excessive pride goes against what Jesus says God is looking for in his followers. He says in Matthew 5, "Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Over the last three months, my spirit has been tested as much as any time in my life. Many people offer me a message of hope and I appreciate that. I believe they are sincere. But I have learned that there simply are no guarantees in this life. I don't know when I'll work again and I don't know if I'll ever have a good job again. I just hope right now that when I do work again, it will be something that I can be proud to do.